Things to be Cautious Of When Clubbing -(For the Married - or those with SOs)

I have one dancer with long, long blonde hair. Love her to death, but I am forever plucking these long blonde strands off my clothes. (The wife's a brunette.) Other than that, I always make sure I wash thoroughly before coming home. No biting or scratching is ever allowed. And I delete every "bad" email sent or received, and then empty the trash bin of my computer, every single time I'm on the computer. Oh, and my credit card bill goes to my office, not home.

I think the thing you have to be most careful about is spending too much. That can do you more harm than the rest of the list combined.

I've got one black shirt that I like to wear, but it's a frickin' magnet. Lint, and especially hair, seems to stick like glue to that shirt, and being that it's black, EVERYthing shows up - especially blonde hairs. I even went as far as buying a lint brush in order to catch all of the evidence.

I also have a bottle of "fresh scent" Fabreeze that I spray my clothes in order to get rid of any smells. It even helps with the smell of smoke, which when I am spending HOURS in a club can be quite troublesome. These days, with smoking bans, etc., it's getting hard and harder to explain why I smell like I spent a week working in the R J Reynolds testing facility.

My wife has an unbelievable ability to smell anything and everything out the ordinary. I don't go to clubs very often if I have to come home that night. I recently clubbed and took a change of clothes and put on the fresh set before coming home. I will take the other set to the dry cleaners before bringing them back into the house. I washed my face, neck, hands, and arms multiple times before coming home and even applied a lotion/moisturizer to those areas shortly after getting home but was still afraid to get too close to the wife. That woman has the sense of smell like nobody I have ever seen. I have always been an evidence concealer be it alchohol or left handed cigs. Life is tough when you have habits considered bad by others.

I'm just lucky. My wife can't smell anything. I come home drenched in perfume every week and usually shot spots too. Solved that problem when we started doing BBBJ though. It's a good thing I feel like I died and went to heaven every week cuz I know I'll never really get there.

GodFatherStill: HEY, BUSTER! WHAT ARE YOU DOING MARRIED TO MY WIFE! Seriously, my wife is the same way. Strangely, other than commenting about how bad the smoke smell is, she's never mentioned the smell of perfume (or other things). I know I can still sometimes smell it faintly, so unless I'm overly paranoid, I can't believe SHE can't. You know, I've even driven 3 hours with all of my windows down, air conditioning running full blast in the dead of winter in an attempt to air out before getting home.

I also try to plan my Clubbing so that it's not the same day as my return home. On the other hand, OTCing works out well for smells of the smokey variety, since there is no smoking allowed in the hotel, I at least don't smell like cigarettes, however, the bad side is, there's no smoke smell to cover the perfume smell. Fortunately, both girls that I OTC with currently do not wear strong perfume.

How about condom wrappers? One dancer tucked the wrapper into my shirt pocket during an afternoon encounter. I was in my bedroom that evening getting undressed when I found it.

A score of years practicing law has given me the ability to explain away a lot of atrocious, indefensible stuff...but I have no idea how I would have dealt with that, if, for example, at the dinner table, my lovely, inquisitive daughter had checked out the bright purple wrapper in my breast pocket.

Easy. You found litter on the ground when you were walking to your car, and since you absolutely hate litter, you picked it up and put it in your pocket, to throw away when you got home.

Will you marry me?

Chitown:
Damn, that would've been disastrous. That is a good example of why I always go through each and every pocket, to make sure there are no surprises, even when I know that >>I<< never put anything in there... you just never know. I even go through each pocket of my suitcases, computer bag, you name it. It would be just my luck that a well-intentioned girl would stick a "love note" somewhere for me to find later...

Prior to my habitual pocket searching missions, I also got caught with something. I'd been to several strip clubs in the Toronto area with a group of co-workers/friends on a boondoggle. At one particular club, they were handing out all sorts of freebies... playing cards with dancers pictures on them, t-shirts, g-strings, coupons, etc. Well, I WAS smart enough to leave the obvious stuff in the wastebasket of my hotel room. However, thinking that we'd probably go back to that club later in the week, I held onto the coupons (I think it was free admission, or something like that). Well, we never went back, but the frickin' coupons were still in my shirt pocket when my wife did my laundry. DOH! (not disastrous, but it certainly made home life a bit awkward for a while)

Recently, I suffered a severe dumbass attack and used the wrong credit card for a purchase that looked suspicious when the Visa bill came. I had to do some quick thinking and fancy dancing, complete with some amazing footwork to get out of THAT one.

Oh, and there's the time a few years back when my wife suddenly wanted to listen to my voicemails on my phone. Knowing that there were MANY very damning VMs from my prev-ATF, I pretended that my voicemail password suddenly quit working. Talk about lame, but even as unbelievable as THAT was, and as much suspicion as that raised, it was still MUCH better than if she had heard the voicemails. (I haven't learned my lesson entirely on this, as I have three from my C-Fav on my phone asI type... gotta record them onto my computer and delete them off my phone, before I get caught)

Living life on the edge of stupidity... (uhh, no, I think I have crossed completely into stupidity)

Lol. Luckily I am blessed with a profoundly unsuspicious wife, although I do everything I can to cover my tracks, and/or to throw her off scent, so to speak. My favorite trick is to deliberately create excuses to force her to call me at work, when I am in fact there, so that she will see repeatedly that when I say I am working late, I really am working late. I also put fake appointments on my electronic calendar, in case she ever decides to check it.

Alas, if ONLY the "I'm working late" alibi would work for me! I am three hours (each way) from my club of choice, so my alibi would have to cover MUCH more time than "working late" could.

Alibis... that's another to add... alibis have to be relatively fool proof, and cover anything that may come up. This is an area where I really live "on the edge". I often am actually "many hours" from where my alibi SAYS that I am. If I ever run into a problem such as car accident or car trouble, it would be nearly impossible to explain whey I am in Indianapolis, when I'm supposed to be in Livonia.

NJSCFAN: You are good at creating explanations... How do I talk my way out of THAT scenario?!

I never had any problems with tell-tale signs like glitter or odors, because I only visited clubs when traveling on business and I always washed my clothes in my motel bathroom before heading home. I got into that habit a long time ago when after a club visit I accidently discovered lipstick on the fly of my pants. Now that would have been an interesting thing to try to explain.

The other advantage of only clubbing on business trips is that if you do get caught you can always blame some other guy for dragging you off to the club. In my case there were even a couple times that would have been true.

Well, it's obviously tougher when the girls are that far away, and also I am not sure what you do for a living. My job has the benefit in that it's my own business, and I often have reasons to be on the road -- not overnight trips, but local travel. So I everytime I do travel for work, I make a point to call a lot from the road, so she will know I really am traveling, and I will also call to bitch about how bad traffic is, etc., etc. I try to create a general atmosphere where having to disappear for hours at a time makes sense. Without knowing much about your situation, this is where having a little strategic advance planning is probably key. So, let's say the girls you want to see are in location X. I would try to find a good, independent reason to go to location X on a periodic basis -- some special hobby you decide to pursue, some unique store you really like to visit, etc., etc. It has to be something, of course, that your wife will never be interested in doing with you. I knew one guy who would claim a periodic need to go into NYC to go so Sam Ash (a music store), because he was a guitar buff. He knew his wife would find this crashingly dull, and so would never tag along. The key is to actually GO to this innocent locations now and then (really only has to be once a month), and serve up to your wife abundant proof that you've been there. Now that you have your wife acclimated to the idea that you have to go to location X once a week, then 3 out of 4 times you can go see the girls, and even if disaster does strike (e.g., car breaks down), you have a perfect excuse.

The other option, of course, is to find a club buddy. You don't have to actually club with the guy, he just has to be willing to cover for you. If you are out with your best friend Bill, and he will vouch for you, then you can be doing all sorts of things -- bowling, going out for drinks or dinner, etc. -- and if you're questioned about it, you can say, "give me a break, I'm hanging out with my friend."

And again, I try to be diabolical about coming up with ways to throw her off. For example, sometimes I will go out with a female friend (not a dancer or escort), and I will make a big point of telling her -- even joking about whether she is jealous. This totally throws her off, because I have nothing to hide.

She searched the car and found the unused condoms. The divorce followed.

Seriously?

My wife is actually fairly oblivious, to the point that I sometimes wonder if she really suspects, but figures it's not something that she cares about or wants to know about, so she just "looks the other way."

Accounting for time is not a problem, as I am self-employed in a job that can be very demanding in that respect, and can legitimately have me working any time, day or night. I sometimes really do go to the office from 10:00pm. to 2:00 am., just because I can be so much more efficient then...no phone calls, few e-mails, etc.

Accouning for money is not a problem, as my wife has no interest in keeping track of our money, as long as the ATM card works (She's not a mercenary bitch...she has a good job, and she and I trade off about every year as to who is making more money--we both have professional practices, so our incomes vary from year to year. She also spends very little money). She gives me her paycheck in the sealed envelope that in comes in from the accounting office at her workplace. So she sure the hell is not going to be opening credit card bills or bank statements.

So, the only way I can get in trouble is a really stupid mistake on my part (the condom wrapper in my shirt pocket, for example), or some unforeseeable and unpreventable bad luck (having a heart attack in a club, for example, or getting in a car accident on a strip club lot).

Last summer, we were on vacation. I don't carry a wallet, instead have the bare necessities of identification (driver's license, insurance card, debit card) in a money clip in my top pocket. For reasons too complex to go into, I also had my "industry card" (free entry, 24/7, to any club in a national chain...comp from the manager). Wifey got up before I did and, in looking for a keycard, looked through that stack of cards. When I awakened, she was in the hotel dining at the complimentary b'fast buffet (thus, her concern for the keycard), and the remaining cards were in a stack on the dresser. To this day, I don't know if she noticed the strip club pass, or appreciated its significance. My wife is an extremely intelligent woman (maybe the smartest woman I've personally known), but also has an extremely focused way of thinking. The way her brain works, she probably just discarded anything that didn't look like a keycard, and didn't worry about what anything else might be (Like sculpting an elephant by carving away anything that doesn't look like an elephant.) In any event, she never said anything about the pass.

njscfan, you and I have many of the same operating tactics. For example, when I go somewhere innocent during the evenings, I make a point of taking one or more of the children, which gives the impression, even when I am alone, that I am going somewhere that I could/would take the kids.

Two jokes in regard to fooling wives are as follows:

Man is out late one night with his lover. As he is leaving her, he asks to borrow some baby powder, which he proceeds to sprinkle all over his hands. When he gets home at 1 a.m., his now very angry wife is waiting for him. "Where have you been?!?" "Sweetheart, I won't lie to you. I've been having an affair with a beautiful young girl, and tonight I stayed late at her place, making wild passionate love." The wife looks at him suspiciously, and says, "let me see your hands." He sheepishly shows her his hands, covered in white powder. Now she's really angry. "Don't you lie to me, you've been bowling!"

Another guy was always getting in trouble with the wife for going out and getting trashed, and she swore she'd divorce him if he did again. One night he's carousing with his buddies, and he gets so drunk that he barfs all over himself. He's horrified, and says to his friends, "Good lord, what'll I do? When I get home, my wife's sure to know I got drunk again. She'll divorce me. I'm doomed." But his buddies calm him down and say, "look, it's simple. Stuff $10 in your shirt pocket. When you get home, just calmly explain that another guy barfed on you, and he paid you $10 to take your shirt to the cleaners." Satisfied with this plan, the still woozy man makes his way home. When he gets there, the Wife confronts him in his unsightly state, but he's ready for her and whips out the money with his explanation. But when she looks at the money, she says, "I don't get it, you said he gave you $10 to clean your shirt, and this is a $20." "Oh yeah," the man replies, "I almost forgot. He also took a shit in my pants."

Soon cell phones are going to have built-in GPS capability, allowing caller A to know where (call receiver) B's physical locations is. Of course Caller A and B will be have to pre-agree via subcription or some other method to enable this, so random callers will not be able to do this, but (one might think) what husband would not want his wife to know exactly where he is at all times? Bottom line is don't buy a strip club, it may not be such a great business in the future

Chitown, from what you've said I think it's fairly obvious that (1) Mrs. Chitown knows alot more about your hobby than she lets on, and (2) she doesn't want you to know that she knows because, (3) she doesn't want to raise an unpleasant subject that she'd rather not know any more about so she can pretend it doesn't exist.

It sounds to me like having secrets and being clever about it (or at least thinking we are) and the risk of getting caught are all part of the fun of clubbing for a lot of us.

I am repeating this for the benefit of Denny Spade. I am now single but in the past when I wanted to avoid a confrontation with my wife after a night at the strip club, I had a procedure.Always slam the garage door. Then slam the front door. As you are walking to the master bath, loudly sing "Show me the way to go home". Lift the lid and piss right in the middle of the toilet. Then slam down the lid. Next walk in the bedroom and ask "Is there any one in here that wants to get laid" Trust me, You won't hear a thing.

David9999, GPS was a big issue a couple of years ago when I was doing OTC with a stripper who lived with a police officer. He was also very jealous, and called every ten minutes or so when were trying to OTC. It occurred to me that his department almost certainly had a device that would allow him to do a GPS search for her cell phone, and thus track us down to our hotel of choice, with his service revolver.

I was so jarred by the experience that it was all I could do to focus enough to cum. However, I rose to the occasion.

The key to any good lie about where you might have been is simple, never tell a lie that they can prove is a lie. And also, just don't be stupid, check your pockets, my GF flipped when she found a SC T-Shirt that I'd forgotten to toss. Thankfully I usually only club when I'm out of town on business, so it was an easy matter to say I went with a business associate. My GF now wears the shirt some time, lol

I may be the rarity, but I never really tried to hide my clubbing from my wife. Now, don't get me wrong, I didn't go home and tell her, "Guess what, the guys and I went to a strip club again after work!" There were mentions of visits most of my marriage. That said, it was always with the guys. Not really, but that is as far as I would mention. Like FONDL, many visits were on business trips.

Out of about the last 6 club visits, she was even went with me about half of them.

FONDL: Yeah, blaming a strip club visit (or other nefarious activity) on a buddy that "forced" you... that's not always a good thing. Word of caution, never use a GOOD friend in this manner. A few years back, there was a "company function" at a local Don Pablos, where schmoozing and of course drinking took place for many hours. As the crowd decreased, a female co-worker that I'd had my eye on for some time was among the remaining few... after another 30 min passed, and the "crowd" became a "cozy" of just four of us.. that aforementioned female co-worker, myself, another girl and a good male friend of mine. Interestingly, two guys, two girls.. good numbers! Well, we continued to drink and with all of us having a good buzz going found ourselves skinny dipping (and doing "other things") in a pool. (quite the memorable night)

Fastforward a few more hours, and I found myself having to do some serious explaining to get into my own home (wife was none too happy, as it was 4am). The male friend was in even more trouble (his wife noticed that his belt was missing). My friend used me as a scapegoat, saying that I'd dragged him to a party and we all got drunk. To this day, his wife won't let him so much as talk to me.

Chitown wrote....or some unforeseeable and unpreventable bad luck (having a heart attack in a club, for example, or getting in a car accident on a strip club lot).

That would be just my luck....I could just see my poor wife having to explain to everyone how I passed away at a strip club. Thanks chitown, like I needed one more thing to wory about.

I am usually more concerned about where to park my vehicle so that nobody I know drives by and sees it. The problem here is parking in the back of a strip club can be a little on the dangerous side.

Actually, Godfather, I did not mention "dying" of a heart attack in a strip club...and for good reason. From my point of view, far worse than dying of a heart attack that occurred in a strip club would be not dying from the heart attack...and awakening in the cardiac intensive care unit in a hospital far from my hometown (located in a town to which I may or may not have told my wife I was going), seeing my wife and children standing around my hospital bed, and wondering how long it would be until the subject arose of the location I was at when I was stricken....

My wife is pretty low key. Probably all she would ever say directly about it would be, "serves you right."

DougS, I'd never blame someone who my wife knew, I'd blame some salesman from out of town or something like that.

Godfather, I actuall had a car accident in a strip club parking lot once - I backed into a limo when leaving. It was very minor and didn't leave much of a mark on my car, but the limo driver/owner was so upset that he insisted calling the police. and they in turn were so upset at having been called for such a minor accident that they sited him for parking incorrectly, which I thought was pretty funny.

On another visit I got up the next morning with a dent in my car and had no idea how it got there, whether I did it the night before or someone hit me in the parking lot. That's the last time I ever drank heavily when clubbing.

DougS, while on a family vacation in Houston, a buddy (who lives in Houston) took me to watch Nolan Ryan pitch and I left the wife and family at the hotel. On the way to the game we stopped off at Treasures for about an hour of pre-gaming. After several shots and a couple of laps we were off to the game. As my buddy pulled out of the parking lot I saw my life pass before me as an oncoming car was about to cream us. I yelled at my buddy and he stopped just in time. At a minimum I probably saved him a repair bill and possibly a DUI and saved us both bodily injuries that may have been tough to explain to the wife.

My wife can smell cigerette smoke coming from a driver in another car at an intersection even if the windows are up on both cars. I imagine any perfume on my body could get me divorced.

GodFatherStill: hmmmm... I think I have an earth shattering theory to share in a new topic... (look for "Secret Conspiracies")

The car accident stories remind me of an actual transcript from an actual trial. It went like this:

ATTORNEY: And when your husband woke up in the hospital, what were his first words?

WITNESS: He said, "where am I, Judy?"

ATTORNEY: And what was your reaction when he said that.

WITNESS: I was very upset.

ATTORNEY: And why is that?

WITNESS: My name's not Judy.

I will usually stop and gas up the car on the way home. Ooops, I got a little gas on my hands, gloves or pants. Reduces the perfume problem.

Pushin: I've used that to cover an obvious makeup stain on the neck of my shirt before. Took a finger-swipe on my dirty car and wiped it off on the stain, creating a dark enough stain to cover the offending makeup. Worked like a charm. (even though I now had to explain how I got that grease mark on my collar)

DougS, no need to explain. Just act dumb, they expect it of us.

I just re-read my earlier post. I meant Roger Clemens not Nolan Ryan!! You guys were probably thinking that the Godfather is older than dirt. Unfortunately, I don't remember too much about the game after pre-game drinks and ballpark brews. I do remember thinking I saw Clemens in the souvenier shop late in the game but I was told that it was Clemens brother.

You guys make me wish I weren't single just so I could join in the fun and intrigue of cheating.

You could always just bring the wife along...:)

The fact that this thread has drawn so many responses shows that strippers do, in fact, "entertain the married men of America."

One night DougS and I were at Brad's Brass Flamingo when we were visited at our table by a very young (probably 19 y/o dancer), who started lecturing us on the fact that she had no issue with dancing for single guys, but was disgusted by the idea of dancing for married men. I can't recall if it was me or Doug who broke the news to her that her philosophy would cut her off from 80% of her customers.

Another paranoid fear...Chandler introduced me to an ESL club that is in a very questionable neighborhood. I probably go there once every couple of months, for a change of pace. I feel comfortable there, a fact that scares me about myself.

In any event, the club is at the end of a street that includes a residential area and sometimes, particularly on warm days/evenings, the streets of full of people milling around, taking their sweet time crossing the road, etc. I sometimes think about what a life-ruining experience it would be to hit someone, esp. a child, as I was leaving the club. Even if I hadn't been drinking (and I drink very little any more, under any circumstances), people would assume I was loaded. And because this club is located in an impoverished black area, the socio-economic angle of a white lawyer from one of the more affluent towns on his way home from a strip club hitting a poor black child would be impossible for the press to resist. People who have read my favorite modern novel, Tom Wolfe's "Bonfire of the Vanities" will get the picture. My life would be gone--disbarred ("conduct tending to bring the legal profession into disrepute"--I'm serious), bankrupt (uninsured punitive damages assessed against me at trial for drinking while driving), divorced (for obvious reasons), imprisoned (reckless homicide).

A couple of years ago I wrote about a colleague of mine who, in the mid 90s, had made the grand tour of the ESL clubs when his wife was out of town. At 5:00 am, he was driving drunk, the wrong way down a state highway, driving the wrong way to get to his intended destination of his home in St. Louis, and struck and killed a 15 year old farm boy who was on his way to work at Grandpa's produce stand at the St. Louis farmer's market. The lawyer was convicted of reckless or vehicular homicide and DUI, and spent a year in a county jail that is said to be fairly brutal (experienced criminals have said they would rather go to the State penitentiary), but survived the experience. Missouri disbarred him, but D.C. never did, so his lost his practice in St. Louis, but relocated to D.C., where I understand he is doing well. His insurance company paid the civil damages (claim resolved without him having to pay punitive damages, which are uninsurable). Amazingly, and finally relevant to this thread, his wife stood by him, and they are still married.

But I bet she makes his life hell.

You guys are scaring the shit out of me now. There's enough pressure figuring out how to account for all the time and $$$ I spend clubbing, plus adventures with the ATF. Now I have a whole new set of worries. I hadn't consdered the hear attack but wtf, I can count on the sympathy vote there. Car accidents? ugh.

rootman, don't flip out too much. The disbarment case is really a reason for not drinking and driving, and opposed to staying out of strip clubs. In fact, the Federal court opinion upholding his disbarment doesn't even mention that his drinking took place at a strip club. ca8.uscourts.gov

However, the fact remains that accidents can happen anywhere, but not all accident scenes are equal. If your serious injury occurs because you slipped on spilled communion wine at Church, it's just not going to make the same headlines as if you slipped on some spilled beer at a strip club.

The alcohol based hand sanitizers are good for cleaning up all kinds of odors.

I dont envy you guys!!!!! But then my hubby can do what ever the hell he wants. If he gets too frisky with a dancer he just better share her with me! And of course the same rule applies to me.

I dont envy you guys!!!!! But then my hubby can do what ever the hell he wants. If he gets too frisky with a dancer he just better share her with me! And of course the same rule applies to me.

I got to ask, what would happen if your SO's found your TUSCL account and read your reviews, your blogs, and your discussion posts?

I'm glad my wife knows I go to the clubs and I'm glad she only thinks it's once a month or so. I'm not sure what she'd think if she read this stuff. Since I don't do OTC stuff, it probably wouldn't be too big of a deal (I'm probably kidding myself).

JayADay, I was thinking about what you said before you ever posted it. My wife would never find this site on her own but what if a friend of a friend found it and some of the stuff I post on here made that person suspicious enough to copy and paste my blogs or comments and send them to her on an e-mail? Unlikely, but it could happen.

There is a SC that I have been to a couple of times lately that the bouncer/bartender is related to people that I work with. I dont know if he knows who I am but I know who he is so I have decided to avoid that place for a while.

chitownlawyer: I appreciate the reply. My son's a young lawyer but you know, I don't share my adventures with him (go figure). He even wanted me to go to clubs with him once or twice but but I told him he'd have to do it with his buddies and I'd go with mine. I think he'd be shocked at how much I've been into. I know, he'd probably shock me. Actually, I'm most afraid of the parking lot fender bender or some club asshole starting a fight to bring the cops etc. But none of that will stop me.

Here's one for you guys. I was in a SC Friday night that does not have a private VIP area. The girl I was with allowed me to DATY and slip a finger in the kitty. Right after we were finished I noticed that 3 units of the local police department were combing the dark corners of the club. I recalled that there was a guy near us in a corner and he was texting someone while we were dancing. The girl I was with was pretty darned discreet about our activities but you just never know. That potential arrest may be harder to explain to the wife than a DUI. Oh my, something else to think about.

i go at lunch or the afternoon and go to the health club to workout afterwards. i get home at 7 or so in my workout clothes.

the smell of smoke is the worst thing to worry about.

For us "married" folk, clubbing can take on all of the thrills & spills of an extreme sport. The thrill of victory, and the agony.....well....you know.

A trend I started when I started dating my wife is that of a "clean freak". She thinks I do the laundry because I like it. I do the laundry every couple of days so she doesn't catch on. Not that she would... she's oblivious. "What's that smell?" "waht? Oh there were some dumbass kids at the mall spraying perfume at each other, i walked through a cloud of it." Single guys trust me, marry the dumb ones or marry the sluts, but if you can..marry the dumb sluts.

nice

I was at a club last Friday night. Right after completing a 3 dance set with a lovely 9 who allowed me to DATY in the corner of the club I noticed 3 uniformed police officers making rounds in all of the dark corners. It would be really bad to be busted in the middle of a HJ or such but I know some cops in my town. What if I were approached by a cop that I know during a BJ? How about a female cop that I know?? Now that would be rather awkward. I told this story to a friend who is a SC vet and he said to always try to position yourself so you have an eyeshot of the door so you know who and what comes thru the door. I think I was a little too busy to be watching the door!!

GodFatherStill: Actually, no matter WHERE I am, I make sure that I am facing the door - or facing towards the largest open area in the vicinity. I NEVER have my back facing the door or the majority of a room, whether it's a strip club, restaurant, etc.

Someone mentioned cell phones in another thread, as in "losing or forgetting". THAT should be added to our list of cautions. When ever I get a dance - or play around OTC, one of the first things that I do is remove my wallet, keys and cell phone. I don't want them to get in the way, or poke/jab/scratch the girl. I've gotten into the habit of when I stand up, I put each of them back into their place... and I make a conscious effort to pat those places through out the day - especially when leaving somewhere, to make sure that I have them... wallet...keys... cell phone...

DougS,

Although not from clubbing, but I also make a habit of check that I have all the right things in their proper place, and do it often, when out and about.

Elsewhere Njscfan has pointed out what I've always thought was the biggest risk - a crazy jealous druggie BF.