For those of you specializing in regulars or ATFs, how do you balance the need for escalating activity with safety? So you start with her rubbing your dick, it moves to a HJ in another session or two, on to BBBJ etc. Now you're regularly doing 'stuff', meeting OTC and all that. Inevitably, you're going to eat and fuck her. Fucking's ok with condoms but if you're really hitting it off, seems like oral is necessary. I know that's risky and some wouldn't dream of it with a stripper but if your GFE starts to really look like a GF vs. an escort, it can be a problem.
I am seeking help from all of you expert pervs. I am just getting back into this stuff and need advice. How do I escalate the action? I have a couple of girls at a small SC that allow some 2-way contact (breast, ass, legs, arms). I would like for them to start rubbing my dick and balls and I would like to start touching their kitty's. Do I just flat out ask for these extras or do I just push the envelope during LD's and see where they stop me at? Can I take a dancers hand and place it on my cock? What is proper and expected? What do you think?
RootMan:
That's one of the perils (or, benefits as I see it) of the action escalation! In your scenario described above, yeah, there cums (sic) a time when you are going to have to "take the plunge". Even though that's something I really enjoy doing (DATY), it's got to be in the back of your mind that there are potential hazards. The only protection I've ever heard of for DATY is the use of a "dental dam" (basically a square piece of latex that you'd place over her pussy before you went down on her). I think ANY girl would be completely insulted if you attempted to use that! Not to mention, that'd be about as much fun as making out with a rubber glove.
So, once your relationship gets to that point, especially if she's already taken YOUR juices orally, "ya gotta do it!".
GodFatherStill:
There is something to be said for the thrill of pressing your limits to see how far she will let you go. Yeah.. that's pretty exciting. But, I've also reaped benefits from the conservative approach, thus gaining their trust. In my experience, if you don't become Mr Grabby and don't force the issue, your mileage will actually be higher in the long run; though just not as fast.
You can't assume that all dancers are "extras" girls. However, once she starts feeling comfortable with you, if she's inclined to practice that sort of thing, she will let you know. Most times, a dancer will whisper to me "what would you REALLY like me to do?" or something along those lines. In that case... be honest... she's heard it all, so she isn't going to be shocked.
A dancer might just take your hand and guide it to where she wants it to be. Another hint that I've experienced is when a dancer keeps placing her hand in yours - I've found that USUALLY, that's her way of saying "move my hand where you want it to be".
On the other hand, if you chose to "push the envelope" and she isn't ready for that, you might just end up sitting on your hands the rest of the dance...
Part of the original post seems to relate to health hazards of oral sex. This question comes up on these sites all the time. I am basing what I am about to say on CDC data.
The most serious STD, of course, is HIV/AIDS. However, there is simply no documented case of anyone getting HIV from oral sex. It is theoretically possible (e.g., you go down on a woman who is having menstrual bleeding, and due to oral surgery you also have open blood vessels in your mouth). However, it is my understanding that there is no documented incident of this ever occurring. (Part of the problem in sorting this out is that people with HIV often engage in other risky sexual behavior, and don't always report it.)
There are other STDs however. The biggest concern, in my book, is herpes. The problem with herpes is that it is viral, and that it can be with you for life. Typically in a club where things are kinda dark, you are not necessarily going to be able to tell if the girl has lesions on her pussy. You could get herpes from her mouth, too, but presumably you are going to be able to see her face in clear light before you start snogging her in the LD room. But you will not be getting a good look at her pussy until, well, until you are right there. And if the room is too dark, you won't know what you are putting your tongue on.
Don't get me wrong. I love daty as much as the next guy (probably more than most). And I have done some dumb things in my life. But I am glad I've never gotten herpes. That would really suck. So I would probably hesitate to eat pussy unless we were in a nice hotel room where I could turn on the light and make sure her vagina was free of any apparent lesions. (Sorry for being so graphic! lol)
And no, I would never fuck a girl without a condom. I pay enough child support, thanks.
I'm happy not to have herpes, and plan on keeping it that way. However, let's keep things in perspective. According to the CDC, 20% of the adult population has HSV2, and I wouldn't say that 1 in 5 U.S. adults lives a life of misery. I was in college in the early 80s, when genital herpes hit the white middle class, and the cry coming out of the student health service was, "Oh, my God, it's herpes!" I was in law school in the middle 80s, when AIDs started to hit, and the cry coming out of the student health service was, "Oh, thank God, it's only herpes!"
I have done the DATY thing here in the US, and not thought a thing about it. On the other hand, I won't DATY in Tijuana, which is ironic, because I think that most Mexican girls are cleaner than most American strippers.
Keep in mind that the latest research on HSV-2 (the genital type of herpes) showed that the virus can be transmitted even if there are no apparent outbreaks or leisions. Be careful out there boys.
It's still an open debate whether one can get HIV from oral sex. Some experts think it is possible, others do not. Some people advocate that it is not possible, but have agendas (e.g. the moderaters on aidsmeds.com many (all?) of whom have HIV themselves).
If possible, a giver would be more likely to get it than a recipient. And a man performing on it woman, would be the least likely. In any case, all surely negligible risks: Even the high transmission estimates we see are 1 per 10,000 incidents. And even the highest risk heterosexual populations only have a 1-2% incidence of HIV here in North America (I would bet strippers are 1/10 of that). So the most pessimistic estimate would put your chance of getting HIV from a BBBJ at around 1 in a million.
As for HSV-2: very hard to get it from eating pussy: HSV-2 does not like to infect the mouth: Especially if you already have HSV-1 which about 80% of Americans do.
Now as for receiving a blow job: check for cold sores first. HSV-1 can infect the genitals, and, indeed, about 1/3 of new genital HSV infections are HSV-1. In the absence of cold sores the transmission risk is surely pretty low: probably around 1 in 10,000. But since so many have it, it much more likely than HIV. Not that, beyond the stigma anyway, HSV is such a big deal...
There are pretty good meds for treating HIV these days and they are gettting better all the time. Not that it is something you would want to have, but I think Herpes-C (if it is an STD) is now a contender for most serious STD.
If you don't take the risk you won't get the reward when it comes to touching. Be smooth and gentle; if she doesn't "do that", she'll politely move your hand away, or turn her body so as to make that access difficult. Or maybe she'll make that stupid-ass dancer giggle noise, and then stand up.
I have been blessed with a long string of ATF's over the years, and the "breaking-in" of a new girl is not something I do very often. When I do, I generally won't pursue that girl if we aren't "hands in the pants" both ways after $100 invested.
I have a long-time regular which I hesitate to call an ATF, because there has always been a reluctance on her part to take the next step. The OTC step is the one I am pushing for now, and I really want to take this to the more intimate level that OTC would allow. She insists that it is what she wants as well, but develops emergencies and other diversions at the last minute. I finally told her today that I just couldn't justify the amount of money I was spending (number of dances regularly)on her anymore. Breaking up is so hard to do....
Thanks to all the early posters in this thread. I ate the damn thing big time, fucked her silly and am set up to do it again. As for the later posts, I think I'm somewhat smart so will leave the surgeon general/CDC scares to others. I'm protecting what I can without eliminating life's pleasures. BTW...what girl would let you use a dental dam? You'd look like such a loser plus offend her silly.
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That's one of the perils (or, benefits as I see it) of the action escalation! In your scenario described above, yeah, there cums (sic) a time when you are going to have to "take the plunge". Even though that's something I really enjoy doing (DATY), it's got to be in the back of your mind that there are potential hazards. The only protection I've ever heard of for DATY is the use of a "dental dam" (basically a square piece of latex that you'd place over her pussy before you went down on her). I think ANY girl would be completely insulted if you attempted to use that! Not to mention, that'd be about as much fun as making out with a rubber glove.
So, once your relationship gets to that point, especially if she's already taken YOUR juices orally, "ya gotta do it!".
There is something to be said for the thrill of pressing your limits to see how far she will let you go. Yeah.. that's pretty exciting. But, I've also reaped benefits from the conservative approach, thus gaining their trust. In my experience, if you don't become Mr Grabby and don't force the issue, your mileage will actually be higher in the long run; though just not as fast.
You can't assume that all dancers are "extras" girls. However, once she starts feeling comfortable with you, if she's inclined to practice that sort of thing, she will let you know. Most times, a dancer will whisper to me "what would you REALLY like me to do?" or something along those lines. In that case... be honest... she's heard it all, so she isn't going to be shocked.
A dancer might just take your hand and guide it to where she wants it to be. Another hint that I've experienced is when a dancer keeps placing her hand in yours - I've found that USUALLY, that's her way of saying "move my hand where you want it to be".
On the other hand, if you chose to "push the envelope" and she isn't ready for that, you might just end up sitting on your hands the rest of the dance...
The most serious STD, of course, is HIV/AIDS. However, there is simply no documented case of anyone getting HIV from oral sex. It is theoretically possible (e.g., you go down on a woman who is having menstrual bleeding, and due to oral surgery you also have open blood vessels in your mouth). However, it is my understanding that there is no documented incident of this ever occurring. (Part of the problem in sorting this out is that people with HIV often engage in other risky sexual behavior, and don't always report it.)
There are other STDs however. The biggest concern, in my book, is herpes. The problem with herpes is that it is viral, and that it can be with you for life. Typically in a club where things are kinda dark, you are not necessarily going to be able to tell if the girl has lesions on her pussy. You could get herpes from her mouth, too, but presumably you are going to be able to see her face in clear light before you start snogging her in the LD room. But you will not be getting a good look at her pussy until, well, until you are right there. And if the room is too dark, you won't know what you are putting your tongue on.
Don't get me wrong. I love daty as much as the next guy (probably more than most). And I have done some dumb things in my life. But I am glad I've never gotten herpes. That would really suck. So I would probably hesitate to eat pussy unless we were in a nice hotel room where I could turn on the light and make sure her vagina was free of any apparent lesions. (Sorry for being so graphic! lol)
And no, I would never fuck a girl without a condom. I pay enough child support, thanks.
I have done the DATY thing here in the US, and not thought a thing about it. On the other hand, I won't DATY in Tijuana, which is ironic, because I think that most Mexican girls are cleaner than most American strippers.
If possible, a giver would be more likely to get it than a recipient. And a man performing on it woman, would be the least likely. In any case, all surely negligible risks: Even the high transmission estimates we see are 1 per 10,000 incidents. And even the highest risk heterosexual populations only have a 1-2% incidence of HIV here in North America (I would bet strippers are 1/10 of that). So the most pessimistic estimate would put your chance of getting HIV from a BBBJ at around 1 in a million.
As for HSV-2: very hard to get it from eating pussy: HSV-2 does not like to infect the mouth: Especially if you already have HSV-1 which about 80% of Americans do.
Now as for receiving a blow job: check for cold sores first. HSV-1 can infect the genitals, and, indeed, about 1/3 of new genital HSV infections are HSV-1. In the absence of cold sores the transmission risk is surely pretty low: probably around 1 in 10,000. But since so many have it, it much more likely than HIV. Not that, beyond the stigma anyway, HSV is such a big deal...
I have been blessed with a long string of ATF's over the years, and the "breaking-in" of a new girl is not something I do very often. When I do, I generally won't pursue that girl if we aren't "hands in the pants" both ways after $100 invested.
I have a long-time regular which I hesitate to call an ATF, because there has always been a reluctance on her part to take the next step. The OTC step is the one I am pushing for now, and I really want to take this to the more intimate level that OTC would allow. She insists that it is what she wants as well, but develops emergencies and other diversions at the last minute. I finally told her today that I just couldn't justify the amount of money I was spending (number of dances regularly)on her anymore. Breaking up is so hard to do....