tuscl

Tales from the dark side - part 2 (the sad conclusion)

Wednesday, February 13, 2008 3:07 AM
For those who read my prior posts on this subject, I figured I would share the sobering outcome. Tonight was an unpleasant night. My sweet young dancer (whose boyfriend angrily accused her of being a junkie) called again with another emergency. Once again, against better judgment, I rescued her. (Trust me I am sparing you a lot of details.) In the course of this event, I get in another series of lengthy chats with the boyfriend, who seems genuinely awestruck that I am going out of my way to help someone I barely know I explain that having children myself, I do not feel comfortable adandoning this girl to her own devices. The boyfriend then confesses to me that he told a terrible lie. She is not really a junkie. He made that all up, just to get back at her. I am feeling great, needless to say. My faith in human nature is restored. The dancer and her boyfriend seem to be making a clean, amicable break. All is well. So now I am hanging out with her (no sex, we're fully dressed) and I am marveling at the elaborate web of deception the boyfriend had spun. Suddenly there is pounding at the door, and who bursts in, but the enraged psychotic boyfriend. He is carrying on like a raving madman, and I am somewhat fearful for my safey. Most of what he is saying is gibberish about their failed relationship, but in the course of this he keeps yelling, "tell him the truth." He actually leaves at one point, and in the momentary calm, I ask the girl to explain, but she claims not to understand. Finally, he returns and demands that she show me her arms in the bare light of the rooms. She bullshits a little more, showing me the top sides of her arms. But finally I grab her wrists and turn them over. And there are the track marks. Unmistakable. That wasn't the end of the confessions, however. I am sure the more jaded among you will not be suprised to learn the boyfriend is a junkie too. To his credit, he had the decency to force the truth. Personally, I feel lucky I wasn't robbed at knifepoint. Sad.

18 comments

  • quimby
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    16 years ago
    NJSCFan - We have traded (almost simultaneous) messages tonight... I am sorry for the unhappy way that this turned out; just recognize that this is almost certainly not your last contact with her, and resolve that you will only do helpful (and healthy) things for her, NOT enabling things for her... At the end of the day, she will either get better or will continue to sink, and it has very little to do with you...
  • njscfan
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    16 years ago
    Don't worry, I won't be giving any more $$ to this person -- not even a dollar at the edge of the bar. I am not going to be responsible for helping to keep someone addicted. I feel pretty guilty that I was tricked by the drug into giving her anything at all. The part that most amazes me (and, of course, it's just a comment on my own stupidity) is that I had absolutely no clue that this person was a junkie until the boyfriend told me. I knew she was lying about things, and I had a general sense of unease, but never thought drugs were the issue. It simply never crossed my dull mind that someone so sweet and pretty and nice could be a junkie. What a dummy. The other amazing thing is how the evidence of the drugs was there in plain sight. All you had to do was look at her arms and the track marks were everywhere. The clubs are usually so fucking dark that I guess you can't really see what's going on unless you bring a flashlight with you. Still, it's pretty funny (in a perverse way) that a junkie can be dancing around with hardly a stitch of clothing on and your average patron doesn't notice the really, really obvious signs of major drug use. I hope seeing what a moron I am makes the rest of you feel less stupid.
  • chitownlawyer
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    16 years ago
    I think that everybody on this board who has indulged in The Hobby for any period of time has been taken by a stripper at least once. Distinctions in the stupidity that any of us have exhibited over the years due to strippers are not of kind, only of degree.
  • mr.munchie
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    16 years ago
    I wouldn't feel to bad about not noticing track marks in the club, we are concentrating on a different part of the body. Besides, they use a cover-up makeup on them.
  • Philip A. Stein
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    16 years ago
    Just remember that women don't just use makeup on their faces. She probably covers her injection sites with foundation. I know a stripper that has scars on her sides from her boob job. Most of the time you don't notice because she puts makeup on them.
  • wondergrl5
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    16 years ago
    They can also inject between the toes behind the knees or drip it in their eyes. So you can never really know.
  • MisterGuy
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    16 years ago
    Not you too sweet wondergrl?! ;)
  • FONDL
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    16 years ago
    Njscfan, I feel for you. The same thing could easily have happened to me but I was luckier than you. My ATF used drugs regularly and her BF was a dealer. But she was busted before she reached the stage where I would call her an addict. And I never suspected. I helped her throughout this period and it utrned out well for both of us. But it could just as esily have gone south, and I don't know what I would have done if it had. I think nearly all strippers do some illegal substances, they just don't consider themselves to be on drugs. They distinguish between what they call soft drugs and hard drugs, and don't consider use of soft drugs to be doing drugs. Few strippers probably become what most of us would consider to be drug addicts. For example, my ATF used to smoke pot daily and experimented with lots of other stuff especially when at dance clubs, but she drew the line at injecting herself with anything. And I don't think she was ever addicted, in the sense that the term is usually meant. She did spend a month in rehab after getting busted once, but she never went through any withdrawal and she has managed to stay pretty clean since then. I know that for a fact because she was subject to regular random testing for the next 4 years and never once flunked the test. I'd say she was one of the luckier ones - she now considers getting busted as one of the best things that ever happened to her - the rehab changed her life.
  • njscfan
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    16 years ago
    I actually think there is a pretty fair distinction between most so-called "soft" drugs and so-called "hard" drugs. Chemically, the body simply reacts differently to typical depressants (like alcohol or pot) than it does to opiates and stimulants (like heroin or crystal meth). The former can be addictive (alcohol obviously being the best example), but usually not so nearly as devastatingly addictive as things like heroin and crystal meth. A crystal meth addict will be driven quickly to oblivion by their addiction (quitting work, stopping all normal hygiene, losing contact with family & friends, etc.). On the other hand, I smoked pot most of the way through college, and when I graduated, I simply stopped, without the slightest hitch. I think cigarettes are more addictive than pot; I'm not really sure pot is addictive at all. By contrast, I don't think someone could use heroin for 4 years and then just stop with no ill effects. I realize these are distinctions in degree sometimes. But I am probably reluctant to make that big a deal out of pot smoking, particularly given the prevalence of alcoholism in our country, which probably causes more of a problem healthwise than pot. On the other hand, I would like to continue to steer clear of anyone using profoundly addictive drugs, like heroin or crystal meth, even if they are used "recreationally."
  • FONDL
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    16 years ago
    Njscfan, I agree with you to some extent. The problems is that they are all illegal and thus all obtained from illegal sources. Which means that anyone injesting drugs has no idea what they're really taking. Plus the experience with soft drugs convinces the user that he can handle anything without becoming addicted. Which is how people go from smoking pot to becoming a heroin addict. Like my ATF's ex-BF has done. I'm sure my ATF would have done the same thing if she hadn't been forced to quit before she got to that point. It's pretty scary.
  • shadowcat
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    16 years ago
    FONDL: I have to agree with you and your advice to njscfan. MJ and cigarettes are probably not worse than each other. But one thing does tend to lead to another. I have seen it. My best friend died at 32. He was a strong alcohol user and MJ dealer. Only to his friends. I know two herion users at my favorite club. One supplies the other. I Also know cocaine useres. I know several that smoke pot at the club. I can't save the world.I only want to protect the ones I love. The others give me good lap dances.
  • MisterGuy
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    16 years ago
    One of my dear friends from back home that did all kinds of drugs (you name it...he did it) told me one time, "Don't ever let anyone tell you that pot isn't addictive." I understand that there are plenty of people that can quit pot cold turkey no problem (just like cigarettes) or can just use it "recreationally", but other people obviously can't.
  • Philip A. Stein
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    16 years ago
    I am positive weed is addictive.
  • FONDL
    •
    16 years ago
    As I'm sure you all know, there are two aspects to addiction - the physical and the psychological. While some of these things may not be very physically addictive, they can all be extremely psychologically addictive. When someone says that something isn't addictive, they usually mean physically. But with many people the psychological is just as bad if not worse.
  • wondergrl5
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    16 years ago
    NO WAY!!! misterguy! I was jsut "lucky" enough to go to grammer school during the Regan [view link] we had a " DA.R.E"(aka Drug Abuse Resistance education) class, Not to mention Im addicted to C.S.I. LOL
  • DougS
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    16 years ago
    mrguy: my c-fav smokes both cigs and weed and says she will try to quit the cigs. she says that quitting weed would not only would be harder - she doesn't want to quit.
  • MisterGuy
    •
    16 years ago
    "Just Say No" wondergrl... ;)
  • harrydave
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    16 years ago
    Well njscfan, don't be too hard on yourself. Heroin users can sustain their habits for a long time, and maintain a seemingly normal appearance. You don't have much choice except to distance yourself from her. With the boyfriend still in the picture, you have no chance of influencing her, and she probably isn't at the point of wanting to quit anyway. My GF and I are letting a recovering addict stay at our place right now. She is on methadone maintenance, which effectively suppresses her cravings for heroin and other opiates. And she can function pretty well, working part time. We're trying to get her into a halfway house so she can have a more structured environment. Unfortunately, she has too much free time, and she still sees the same people as before (a bunch of losers). We have evidence she is getting high on meth and abusing pills. She'll be out of here within 2 weeks and that's that. The success rate on "saving" addicts is pitifully low. However, my GF is one of the "escapees" from a life of drugs. She did it all by first breaking from her old "friends", going on methadone, and then latching on to me. Then there was about a year of hell while she slipped in and out of drug use, smokingcrack mostly. I literally tracked her down and pulled her off the streets a few times. Biggest challenge of my life was to hang in there. I kept telling myself, as I lost 10 pounds and got demoted at work, that it was about her, not me. Now she has been clean for 2 years, she's an A student in college, and she has a purpose in life rescuing animals. She also has a great heart. AND, she is one sexy lady. There is hope after all! :-)
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