Comments by 4got2wipe (page 8)

Come on rickdugan, bring in the big guns! You need the whole council of rick animals to take down doctorevil!

I love a good rick fight in the morning! ;)

Perhaps juicebox69 is worried that people will see the wet spot. juicebox69, just announce loudly that you pissed yourself. Nobody will think anything underhanded went on!

No disrespect jackslash, but isn’t the Ethiopian famine a bit too far in the past for this joke to work? I mean, it would be equally non-brilliant to make the same joke about Irish strippers because of the potato famine. And the Irish strippers joke would also be historically incorrect. After all, everybody knows the 19th centura Irish strippers swallowed because that is how the priests taught them to do it...wait, that was “altar boys”, not strippers. My bad!

jackslash, was it your friend’s sister’s funeral?

Now now doctorevil, I’m not sure rickdugan is a psychotic d-bag. He’s more of a pathetic d-bag! But you have to admit he’s funny! It is just brilliant how he replies to juicebox69’s joke query with his attempt at serious analysis. It’s sort of cute. Like when a little kid says “pasghetti” ;)

Muddy9, I’m going to step back and give sincere advice. Recognize that you’re one of many drunken idiots who pay this girl for lap dances. It may be too late since she has blocked you on instagram, but if you’re interested in figuring out a solution maybe go to the club and refrain from drinking. Try to engage in a sober converation. That said, you claim you don’t want anything romantic but admit you daydream about the girl. Trust me, if you daydream about her you want something romantic with her. She probably senses that. Indeed, that is likely to be the problem. So you need to convince her that you’re just one of many drunken idiots who want lap dances from her. Step 1: convince yourself that you’re just a drunken, lapdance-wanting idiot. You should reach out to lapdanceking82 for help on that! Keep in mind that you should value my brilliant advice as much as you would value the advice of anybody who’s handle is based on scatological humor. Which means you should value it more than advice from somebody named “rick” but less than most normal sane people (alas, none of the latter post on TUSCL)

Brilliant!

Yes. Yes I have. Not making money = non-brilliant But what are you going to do about it? Give the sad stripper money for being sad?

Brilliant story, though I thought it would end with singed pubes! That would have been the cherry on top of a strip club sundae! ;)

“pee troll” Brilliant! Just don’t eat fruit cups in the can. That would be gross!

Countryman5434, although rickdugan certainly deserves derision, I wouldn’t want him to stop posting. He writes entertaining stories precisely because he is a giant d-bag who thinks he’s smart and successful. Just sit back and read his d-bag diaries and recognize that his punishment in life is the simple fact that he is a giant d-bag who will never be as successful in life as he thinks he should be. You can’t top the punishment of “being rickdugan”! Plus, if rickdugan went away the lion guy wouldn’t have anybody to make fun of! You wouldn’t want that, would you?

“He’s a coward bastard inbred cocksucker retarded douchebag pussy” Brilliant!

Good to see that TUSCL hasn’t changed. I’d say three things: 1. We all know that “I’m asking for a friend” is code for “I’m asking for myself”. Be brave flagooner. Own your green jizz 2. The only plausible theory, if you actually have green jizz, is that you got drunk on St. Patrick’s day and got it on with the Lucky Charms leprechaun! I hope the leprechaun was a kind an generous lover 2. Having green jizz = not brilliant; posting questions about green jizz = brilliant trolling!

“I haven’t looked up total spending by Romney”

Normally I don’t engage with skibum609’s birther posts. skibum609 seems like a nice enough guy who I’d probably enjoy having a drink with. That said, I just don’t get why he has to cling to birtherism rather than just say “I hated Obama” and move on. But I do have a question: If you believe birtherism, why vote? For that matter, why engage with politics at all? Here’s why I ask the question: if Obama was actually ineligible, why couldn’t Romney (or McCain or Clinton during the 2008 primary) find evidence of it? I having looked up total spending by Romney because I don’t have the energy, but I’m sure it was on the order of $100 million for each Republican. Add to that any spending by superpacs. By the time Romney was running birther theories were out there. If they were true, why didn’t he just spend a tiny fraction of his money, come up with evidence that Obama was born in Kenya, publish it, and cruise to victory? Romney probably could have spent way less than he did to end up running essentially unopposed! So it strikes me that covering up birtherism would have to include the Romney campaign. Including Romney. So now the conspiracy is government/judiciary/press and the Romney campaign (and probably the 2008 Clinton campaign and the McCain campaign). I suppose that maybe Sarah Palin was out of the loop but otherwise everybody who is anybody is a co-conspirator! So, logically, everybody is in on it and nobody’s vote matters. It is all shadowy figures doing what they’re going to do. If so, the brilliant thing for birthers to do is just say “fuck it”, never waste time voting, and move on with life!

“Fucking dems and their WW1 causing bullshit” Brilliant! I actually heard that Obama assassinated Franz Ferdinand! No real reason. He just did it “because”

“It’s so obvious this was a setup for a threesome but you missed the boat.” I he did not pick up on a lot of messages from porno movies. I hear that he was working pizza delivery as a kid he’d actually deliver pizzas with sausage as a topping! WTF? It doesn’t take too much brilliance to realize that the proper way to deliver pizza is to cut a hole in the box and stick you dick through said hole! (No disrespect to CJKent; just couldn’t resist a porno joke!)

Jeez General, don’t tell me you dislike dachshunds too. That is an unpleasant character trait! There are only a few things on this planet that are universally good and brilliant. Dachshunds are one of those things! You need to watch this: http://youtu.be/3FtNm9CgA6U That’s what happens to your brain on listermint. Listermint may cure all STDs but like any powerful drug it should be used properly! ;)

To be fair to georgmicrodong’s doctor, I suspect georgmicrodong kind of gives off Hannibal Lecter vibe. The doctor probably wants a chaperone to defend her if he tries to remove have her liver removed and consume it with some fava beans and a nice Chianti! georgmicrodong eating his doctor’s liver = not brilliant!

I normally start out a response to a crazy comment with “no disrespect” but I’m going to start this one with “seriously General?” crazyjoe asks a goofy question about Botox and you’re so freaked out you have to twist his question into a lame attempt at political commentary. This is what happens when you mainline listermint! Yes people, the General’s problems reflect years of shooting up listermint! Dipping your dick in listermint = cures STDs! Putting listermint in your bidet = aces minty taint! Injecting listermint into your veins = brain damage! Use listermint properly folks! It may be brilliant but it doesn’t cure stupid! ;)

Did you try dipping your dick in listermint before going to the doctor? I hear that stuff is a miracle drug! It will cure anything. If not, the doctor was probably taken aback because there was no minty-fresh smell emanating from your pants. She said to herself “if this guy doesn’t know about the miraculous and brilliant properties of listermint he might be a weirdo so I need a chaperone!” ;)

Question: Were you just confirmed as a justice of the Supreme Court? Perhaps they heard that you like beer from your testimony and just wanted to be hospitable! ;)

I still don’t see this issue with them stamping your passport. It isn’t like visiting Mexico gets you put on a terrorist watch list or anything! And if it is because you don’t want you SO to know you went to Mexico, here’s a brilliant strategy: buy some cheap trinkets, give them to her as a present, and say “by the way, I visited Mexico while in San Diego and I bought these for you as a lark!” But don’t bring her a t-shirt that reads “A hooker gave me a BJ in TJ”. That would be non-brilliant! ;)

What brought this question on? Please be a crazy but brilliant story about alien strippers tha I missed! ;)