Yup she’s mad

yes.

Ah yes, now we have some details missing from the prior post. Everyone thinks they’re more charming and funny when drunk than they actually are, me included. No legit advice here other than to think all this through several days before you see her next and don’t grovel / apologize by text in the meantime

If a plumber gives you bad service, do you:

1. Find another plumber, or
2. Reach out to the plumber to see what you can do to improve the relationship ?

If you are paying for a service, then this is a business relationship.

If this is a real romantic relationship, then stop paying her as a test of how strong the underlying relationship is ( and, by the way, I’ve got a bridge to sell you ).

Listen up buddy it’s not hardcore it’s just being a realist, this attitude has been earned, I’ve at one time or another made every mistake that you can think of. Others here describe me as geriatric, that’s not true, but I’ve been around this game a long time, it’s not that I’m heartless, rather I save my feelings for people that reciprocate. This is a pastime, the girls that are working and succeed are those that guys like, you cannot be Cap’n-Sav-A-Ho, and expect that You will get good results from women that have made a conscious choice to take as much money from as many men as they can. Remember the definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and again yet expecting different results.

Getting all emotionally attached to a stripper = FAIL!

Muddy9, I’m going to step back and give sincere advice.

Recognize that you’re one of many drunken idiots who pay this girl for lap dances. It may be too late since she has blocked you on instagram, but if you’re interested in figuring out a solution maybe go to the club and refrain from drinking. Try to engage in a sober converation.

That said, you claim you don’t want anything romantic but admit you daydream about the girl. Trust me, if you daydream about her you want something romantic with her. She probably senses that. Indeed, that is likely to be the problem. So you need to convince her that you’re just one of many drunken idiots who want lap dances from her. Step 1: convince yourself that you’re just a drunken, lapdance-wanting idiot. You should reach out to lapdanceking82 for help on that!

Keep in mind that you should value my brilliant advice as much as you would value the advice of anybody who’s handle is based on scatological humor. Which means you should value it more than advice from somebody named “rick” but less than most normal sane people (alas, none of the latter post on TUSCL)

Elaborate more on being “a little aggressive during lap dances”.

Maybe she is truly tired of dealing with your drunken ass and it’s not a manipulation tactic.

No ones likes to deal with drunk PLs or strippers.

You bought into a long term fantasy with a dancer, and that comes with all the baggage she and fake "relationships come with." I do think these girls are smarter at playing men then we want to believe and that there is some tactic behind this. That said, to indulge you, if her move was emotional, then look at it like you would a real relationship: once a real relationship goes south, even there is a reconciliation, the chances are exponentially higher it will fall apart again.

You can of course do whatever you want, but if you take of the PL goggles for a moment, I'd implore you to realize she's ultimately a dime a dozen (just like you are to her). It might be better to start over with the knowledge you gained rather than investing more time/money/emotion in something that will more likely than not fall apart again. Also, try cutting back on the drinking. No one likes a sloppy drunk.

Until you go ITC with money to spend you don't really know where you stand.

She could be "over you" until she wants your cash. It's the beauty of a transactional relationship.

I would just ask her what’s wrong.

OP also refers to himself as charming AF and funny AF in the prior thread and this one. Rarely does one claim those traits. It's ok to say: I'm smart, nice, stubborn, positive outlook, etc. but certain qualities are assigned by people who know you, not self proclaimed. Just a reflection of someone who's very young, immature, or both. Not trying to be dickish, just an observation.

This may well be "you gotta do what you gotta" do, Muddy. We'd be irresponsible if we didn't give you any insight from our own experiences. But I remember back earlier in my PL career, when I developed inappropriate fascinations also; I would not have been dissuaded by more experienced people, either. I will say that I don't think this is the result of being "hardcore cold blooded"; in fact, I've written many times about how close I get to my CFs, how much I genuinely like them, etc. But I don't view bailing out from a stripper who is not providing you the service you want as cold-blooded, it's the recognition, through hard experience, that the only thing further engagement gets me is further irritation and poor experience.

Of course, you ARE letting out further details, including some foreshadowing that on your very first time seeing her after months, you might have gotten drunk and acted horribly. Given that, she's bailing out from a customer who is ignoring her limits. That's not hardcore cold blooded either, it's smart protecting her limits, and keeping herself from getting angry with a bad customer and having that anger leak over into good customers.

Maybe u should have thought about that before u tried to "touch her down there " after it was clear she wasn't into u ..smh....

@Muddy: 25 pretty much it it right on the money, except of course that I have no opinion one way or the other about whether he's a geriatric or not. ;)

Just to add to his excellent post (too bad he does so few of these and so much trolling instead), you will never be a friend in her eyes. You are a source of income to her and nothing more, regardless of whether you feel more for her. She has also made it pretty clear that she wants nothing more to do with you if she's gone to the trouble of blocking you on social media.

Nothing good can come from pursuing this further. Only in the movies do guys who persistently chase unwilling girls eventually win them over. IRL these guys are called stalkers. There is really only one of two ways this goes, neither of which is a good outcome for you. Either she gets skeeved out even more than she already is and reacts accordingly OR she turns your seeming desperation against you for her own economic gain. IMHO your best bet is just to walk away.

Listen to subra on this one; he consistently doles out the most sage advice on here. I've become infinitely better at this game thanks in large part to him.

Thanks a2! Glad it helped

@dugan “You are a source of income to her and nothing more, regardless of whether you feel more for her. She has also made it pretty clear that she wants nothing more to do with you if she's gone to the trouble of blocking you on social media.”

These two sentences don’t easily reconcile. If he’s just a source of income she wouldn’t block him and refuse to take his money. I’m not saying she has feelings FOR him. But she has feelings ABOUT him. And right now, she’s pissed. Everyone here is guessing what those feelings are, including Muddy. Be direct. Ask her why she’s pissed.

Interesting responses. That’s why posted it. When I talk about me I’m just trying transparent about how I am. I think at one point she may actually felt somewhat attracted to me. But whatever that was is gone now. I’ll go to the club and apologize, buy her a drink and maybe get a few sober lap dances. And I will ask her what exactly I did that she had a problem with, just to cure my curiosity. But that’ll be the end of it. I’ll just miss it because she is a rare bird in how hot she is. It bothers me If I go through life being remembered as some jerk by her. It shouldn’t but it does. I would just like to amend that somewhat. But I’m done after that. Thanks fellas.

@Muddy Just our of curiosity, what is the ethnicity of this dancer?

Man o man. You are definitely pussy whipped by an excellent tactician. Wow.

@Bavarian. Latina, Mexican.

@Nidan I ain’t gonna spend too much more here.

And I just want the closure. That’s all. I know you can’t always get it in life but I want it if I can get it.

ohhhhh she’s a Latina! :)

Bavarian...it sounds like Muddy might be a big Latina fan like you and I

@mark94 I understand that’s a healthy way to look at it. But come on I don’t see the plumber on a weekly basis. I’m not grinding on the plumber for a year, hanging out drinking together. That would be a hell of plumber.

@GoVikings Oh no doubt about it

@bavarian And I’m not that bad with it. I’m always try push the envelope a little and I made another thread about it but I don’t sit there like a dead fish, I’m very active when I get dances. I wasn’t an absolutely obnoxious drunk that’s not it. It might have just been a little much where I came off like kind of jerk. It would have been more subtle than over the top drunkenness. I want to be clear on that.

^ don’t beat yourself up about it, just learn whatever lesson is there and move on.

@25 yup your absolutely right. That’s all I’ve been doing the past 48 hours. “WTF What did I do wrong?”I’m usually always well received at these clubs but when somebody I know pretty well flips on me god damn that shit doesn’t feel good man.

Maybe you didn’t know her as well as you thought, leading to my original post on this thread, it’s not that I’m so hardcore, you’re maybe leading with your chin.

@jimmy: Those two sentences are only contradictory if you think of her as a robot instead of a person. Obviously he did something that made her uncomfortable enough that his money isn't worth it to her anymore. Maybe I should have said he "was" a source of income to her. ;)

Muddy posted: "And I just want the closure. That’s all. I know you can’t always get it in life but I want it if I can get it."

Muddy, you disappeared for 4 months. Then you show back up out of the blue and immediately do something that upset her enough that now she doesn't want anything to do with you. What gives you the right to ask anything more of her, whether it's "closure" or what I really believe you want, which is forgiveness and/or acceptance? I'm really not trying to be a jerk on this one, but I think you are coming at this from a somewhat selfish perspective by thinking about what you need. She has already expressed what she needs, which is to be left alone. IMHO all you're going to do is cause more harm than good by pursuing it further.

Anyway, good luck man, but I do hope you take the sage advice offered by a few guys on here and just move on.

Don’t have any other advice to offer you, other than to say good luck whatever you decide to do.

Also, let us know how it works out, if you don’t mind.

w/o being there, hard to know "who may be at fault".

You mentioned you had not SCed for about 4-months, and that you got a bit drunk - so perhaps you acted like a bit of an ass "on your big night back" and were wilding out a bit too-much which was off-putting to her - again, not being there hard to know if you may have somehow acted out of line to piss her off.

Or - it could be her - maybe after 4-months away she thought you'd treat her her maybe w/ more "enthusiasm" w.r.t seeing her - or maybe she doesn't feel comfortable going too far w/ custies she does not have a regular club relationship with and maybe she thought you were out of line thinking you could just pick back up showing up out the blue.

Communication usually helps situations - could be you did something she found off-putting that you are not aware of - yeah we pay these girls to entertain us but doesn't mean we can treat them any ole kinda way b/c we're paying them - I don't see anything wrong w/ clearing the air w/ a dancer you have a history with and like being with - if you did something wrong then explain your side of it, and if it's her just having a shitty entitled attitude either she fixes it or you move on, but by clearing the air at least one can fix what could just be a silly misunderstanding.

Latina women also tend to be possessive - not necessarily saying that she has feelings for you (maybe she does but best to assume she doesn't) - but many dancers still have a bit of an ego that can at times get bruised.

Tricky situation! The way I club, only on trips away, it will run 2 or 3 visits in a week then nothing for 2 or 3 months til the next trip to that city. I also build favorites. One way or another, a fave or myself will get out of line now and again at the start of a trip. She will not get to me soon enough or take it for granted I want to see only her, or I may be too enthusiastic or not notice she's a lil quiet and play accordingly. It happens. I always try to figure it out and visit again a couple of days later. @ Muddy, the point is I take the lead on the next visit and play to whatever our strengths were in the first place, we chat; if I was out of line then I apologize during that convo, if she was out of line then I explain why I was pissed. I suppose I must do it to some extent because I care and coz it clarifies things. I either end up with a great visit or we call it quits. Probably 25% of those times I end up walking away but at least on okay terms and able to re-focus on other girls in the club. Good luck!

If you were as good of a custie as you say you are, and you want to reconcile with her, I see nothing wrong w/asking what happened. Too many guys want to put up the bravado that they don't care or so willingly move on. Personally when I find someone good, I do what I can to keep them albeit on my terms. One encounter does not get someone kicked to the curb.

My guess is you show up out of the blue, expecting everything to be exactly the same w/o explanation and sense of entitlement for what you gave in the past. But for her she doesn't know what you'll do now, nor in the future. Can't just live off past glory... and chances are you're not as charming as you think you are. Not a personal affront, very few are.

Did you comment or like a bunch of her posts right before she blocked you? If so I know girls who have family and friends on their accounts that dont know they strip or dont like guys saving stuff their mom or dad will ask about.

If she says the only way to get back into her good graces is to spend more money, then I'd either stop seeing her, or find her on her slow days.

I'm sure we all push this limits in what we can get get away with, and we all probably also know that we might eventually cross that invisible line. FIV is ok, FIA and then immediately FI her Mouth...not ok, lesson learned, wont try that one again for a few months...got it.

Saying you're too drunk to remember is something I pulled when I was 16. I forget where I parked or put my keys or driving home, I never forget the shit I try to get away with in the club. I'm guessing you remember what you did but dont want to say.

Roger all above thank you for the input. Yeah Papi that’s he game plan. If anything because I’m just sick of wondering about it. It’s probably fucked but let’s see.

@general I don’t even use Instagram. It just something I check. And no I wasn’t too drunk to remember I never said that. I was drinking you would not be able to notice I was buzzed but enough to influence my actions.

I have customers too who just say anything out their fucking mouths. Exotic dancing can be mentally taxing. I know most of them mean well but I can not stay nice for long so I walk away. Because they say the customer is always right. But I’d never deal with them again. You can always show up and just apologize

Yup she's mad

You mad bro?