discussion comment
7 years ago
-->"Either you don't have anyone you care about or you are just trying to impress everyone here with your progressive attitudes. Well I'm not impressed.
Poledancer wrote a thread about a typical cycle a dancer goes through. I think anyone that would be just fine with a loved one subjecting themselves to that possibility isn't showing that they care at all.
Do I care about my favs? Yes.
Do I feel the same level of responsibility or concern about them as I do about a family member? Hell no."
Yes, exactly. The fact is, none of us here need to read poledancer's post, because every one of us knows how damaging it is to the girls (not always, but often) and how there's often already some dire circumstances for her even to make the decision to strip (not always, but often). There are a few people here who seem incapable of pretty simple and common human and familial reactions -- e.g., my relative is doing something that can be damaging, I can engage them about it without looking down on them or on everyone who does it. As you said, maybe they don't have anyone they care about, or they're posing.
discussion comment
7 years ago
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Doces300You can run but you will only die tired
-->"I've spent big money on hard to get pussy a few times now and I've never found the experience to be any better than what I could get for 1/2 or even 1/3 of the amount I paid. In fact, IME the law of diminishing returns definitely applied."
Agree completely. Just to be clear, in my response above, I was suggesting you use the idea of an arrangement as a way to restructure/renegotiate the price, and do so in a way that's more likely to be successful. NOT as a justification for potentially paying $1k per meeting .
discussion comment
7 years ago
-->"Have you ever gotten a text from a favorite begging you to visit her on a slow day? "
Yes, all the time
-->"And then sheepishly go and spend a crap load on her really making her day/night?"
SHEEPISHLY go? Never. I tell my CFs specifically to text me on slow days, exactly because of what you experienced, "appreciative and it showed". On a slow day, I'll be able to hang out with her for hours and hours, she'll show her appreciation ... and it's nothing but an advantage to me that she knows that if she's having a crap day and making no money, I can often come through for her.
One caveat: some girls DON'T appreciate that you're their slow-day guy... in which case, fuck them. Many girls appreciate it, my budget is too limited to spend time with a girl who doesn't.
So, in summary: I specifically instruct her to let me know when it's slow so I can try to come in, and with the right stripper, I am more than paid back in bang-for-my-buck great service and "Free" (except for price of drinks) hanging out time & front room groping.
Don't be sheepish; own it, muthafucka
discussion comment
7 years ago
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Doces300You can run but you will only die tired
This is much easier decision for us -- a bunch of guys who are not enamored if not slightly in love with her -- than for you :) Having played in the SD/SB, I actually think it's a brilliant strategy (since I use it myself! LOL... it works outstandingly well) to change the dynamics and thinking from "whore getting paid for an hour in a hotel" to "sugarbaby". I know some of the guys here think the girls are coin-operated automatons, but they're not, and for SOME girls, thinking of themselves as a sugarbaby strokes their egos in nice ways.
I would NOT leave it open, "however many times I make it up there that month", since that leaves her open to being unavailable. I WOULD say "three (or twice, or whatever you think is fair) times a month, every month"; then, if you only make it twice that month, just let it slide... but that's your choice.
There is NOTHING to be lost by not at least trying a counteroffer, and taking advantage of the fact that the term sugarbaby might stroke her ego in very important ways. Just make sure that in the end, if she takes the deal, it's one you're very happy with. 'course, she might really be a coin-operated automaton, in which case, she won't take the deal anyway, and you're no worse off than you were.
discussion comment
7 years ago
Just to re-emphasize, while I do give a stripper name in the club, I mostly do it on a whim. I don't think it's a big deal either way. Plus, many of the guys here don't have wives they might lose, and even for the married guys, I think it's pretty unlikely to get a stalker stripper with computer investigation skills. So not arguing with any of that, but it is worth addressing this:
-->"Same with a strippers real first names"
I always do a quick background check on strippers I OTC yes (yes, I may be insane). I found one CF's complete identity and I only knew 3 things about her: what strip club she worked at (obviously), who were some of her friends at the club, and her real first name. Without her first name, I wouldn't have found her... or at least, wouldn't have found her so easily. Happy to describe how those 3 things led to her, but the point is, I think some of you haven't tried this so don't realize how little information you need once you get a little practice. Yes, it's possible her real first name is all you need.
In this particular case: no criminal record, she was who she says she was, we met OTC, and there was a very happy ending :)
discussion comment
7 years ago
-->"Any dancer should understand and not get bent out of shape at a custy using a fake-name since the dancers also use fake names - perhaps you read more into-it and she may have been more surprised than upset"
On the other hand, if you ACT guilty and ashamed and trying to cover up something that you did wrong, people will treat you that way ... especially a stripper who is always looking for an edge to help control you. The way to handle this type of fuckup is to turn it into a joke and own it, "Ha ha, you fucker, I've only told her my stripper name! Dilly dilly!" *high five stripper* (everyone laughs). Seriously, just turning it into a joke is always the right way out of it ... especially if you really didn't do anything wrong, which he did not.
discussion comment
7 years ago
I might have been a bit tough on you ... anyone who doesn't SC regularly with a group of guys probably doesn't even think about goofy shit like this, much less if he just runs into someone at the club. We always prep our new guys on the trip up, going so far as to make him pick a stripper name that he'll use, too. Everyone gets coached how to act in general, and stripper names are one of the first things to discuss
discussion comment
7 years ago
I use a stripper name. Years back, I had a reason for doing so. These days, it's partially out of habit, and partially because I like the karmic balance of neither of us knowing the other's name. No particular worries or anything, although it's definitely the case that if she's psycho, knowing your first name will help her hunt you down (BJ's scepticism notwithstanding, it's true), I just like it that way. I never ask her for her real name, but if at some point down the road she volunteers it, I tell her mine. The girls all know I've given them a stripper name, why hide it?
-->"CF looks at me in disbelief and said what did he call you? Old dumbass repeats my name and says we even went to high school together. CF turns to me and says you always told me your name is "( fake name)". WTF ??? "
So, dumbass is the right word to use, but it's applicable only to you. If you haven't briefed your buddy beforehand, he has no way of knowing. Regular people would not even guess that a PL might use a fake name at the strip club. Learn the lesson, take responsibility, and do a better job of prepping your wingmen.
discussion comment
7 years ago
I had no idea! Quarterbacks are using it? Hysterical! Well, I, for one, am up for a good round of "To the VIP! Dilly dilly!"
discussion comment
7 years ago
I must be a bit of a simpleton, I find that commercial funny. Have never heard anyone say it in real life, though I imagine I would laugh also, provided that they were dressed like a dandy and said it in a silly accent.
discussion comment
7 years ago
-->"And I wouldn't want to stop my relative from pursuing either career. It would just be extremely patronizing of me to say things like "don't forget to wear safety goggles and wash your hands after using the chemicals.""
I don't disagree ... I think if that's the approach you'll take, it does come off patronizing. If you have trust and a bit of finesse in how you approach things, it won't. I've found it a very common thing, in both my work life and personal life, that two people can essentially give someone the same advice, but because one person has a more trusted relationship and phrases things well, and the other doesn't and the way they phrase things can come off as patronizing or insulting, the reaction is completely different.
discussion comment
7 years ago
-->"I think about it the same way as if someone had a job cleaning using chemicals every day. There are health impacts associated with that and I wouldn't want to see a family member exposed to them. I would prefer that safer cleaning products be used, but I don't think it makes one a hypocrite to want to use a clean bathroom while not also being the cleaning product police for every bathroom one enters."
Yes, exactly. I think the equivalency of "don't want my sister to do something that's harmful to her" = "Hypocrisy" is a bit of an odd one. But if it IS hypocrisy, it's (at least to me) hypocrisy that's a virtue, not a vice. The thing is, though, B-Ho, I wonder if you're projecting a bit. Take stripping out of the equation and grabbing ppwh's example: If my sister was thinking about going into pest control, where her job took her into daily close contact with incredibly dangerous chemicals, I'd try to talk her out of that, too. That doesn't mean I look down on people who do it, or don't hire pest control specialists myself, or think there's anything wrong with it; but if "Not being a hypocrite" required me to, upon hiring each one, give them each a lecture on the dangers and try to get them to quit just like I would my sister, then you're living in fantasy land.
In short, normal human behavior is: be more protective of those close to you, with family being closest. There is no need to try to talk every adult in the world out of doing everything I'd try to talk my sister out of doing
discussion comment
7 years ago
You make a huge mistake if you think the experience a "make it rain" guy is looking for, is anything like what you're looking for -- or, for that matter, anything like what anyone else on this board is looking for. For guys like us, looking for most mileage at lowest price with hottest girls, making it rain is retarded. For making it rain guys, who are looking for public recognization, admiration, respect, jealousy (even if it's all feigned), making it rain is EXACTLY what they're looking for, they're not looking for what we're looking for, and none of your arguments are very persuasive to them
discussion comment
7 years ago
With the overall context that, based on my experience with strip clubs and strippers, over decades: while women can go into stripping and come back out undamaged, wonderful people, more often than not there's a bad situation going in (poor life choices, psychological damage, etc.), there's a downward slide while she strips (pressure to take drugs and party, poor treatment by coworkers and customers, very low-quality social circle, etc.), and finally even more damage when she finally gets out.
Given all that, "she's an adult, she's old enough to do what she wants" rings hollow to me. I don't look at this any differently than if she was doing anything else that could tragically effect her life. If I caught her taking meth, or compulsively stealing things, or playing Russian roulette, or dating an abusive boyfriend, or driving slow in the left lane, or any other number of things on the spectrum from "mild" to "borderline self-destructive", what kind of brother would I be not to say anything? Why even have a family, if not to care that each other are happy?
I'd leave the club immediately. Some other day, I'd have a no-judgement conversation with her to see where she is, mentally and emotionally. Maybe she's desperate and badly needs help, in which case I help her however she needs (financially, place to crash, familial warmth & love, whatever) so she can get out. Maybe she's mis-informed about how destructive this lifestyle is, so I tell her and she can make a more informed decision. Maybe her eyes are totally open and what she can really use is non-judgmental support from her brother, in which case, that's what she'll get, and she has someone to turn to when she needs to talk, vent, things get particularly tough ... rather than hold it all in or party 'til she's numb.
She may be an adult, but she's family, not a random stranger, and there are pressures on sex workers even beyond the sex work
discussion comment
7 years ago
joc13-->"So, if she got her wish and prostitution was legalized do you
1) think that _would_ move it out of the strip clubs as she suggested?
2) think you would still go to strip clubs if there were no ITC extras available?"
I think she shows an almost stripperweb-like complete inability to understand or empathize with strip club customers. In fact, it's almost unbelievable to me that any stripper, having thought about it for more than a few seconds, truly believes the only reason men seek extras at a strip club is because prostitution is not legal.
To answer your questions: 1. extras would NOT be moved out of strip clubs, 2. I currently go to strip clubs where ITC extras aren't available so I certainly would continue going, 3. the scenario of all OTC strippers leaving SCs is so unrealistic it's almost not worth speculating about my response.
Stripper in denial-->"I'm all about legalising prostitution so the men and women who need that can get the hell out of the club."
lol!
discussion comment
7 years ago
So this reply, at least, is refreshingly honest:
---------->10. Do you get on with your colleagues?
The club is similar to a jail microcosm. You have your cliques and solo flyers. I'm a solo flyer. I definitely keep my head down. I have no interest in making friends with most of my coworkers. Few of them are decent people, and the ones that are keeping to themselves like I do. On two or three occasions I have made 'friends' with a coworker. One of them, we had a good thing 'til she moved. The next went on a meth binge and made up paranoid violent stories about me to other coworkers (which was awesome because they were all afraid of me for a while). The last I had to rescue from her boyfriend beating the shit out of her and helped put her on a plane to go live with a sugar daddy. Long and short, it's best to keep your head down in this industry. People try to start fights over nothing and I don't have time for it.-------------------->
.... and I agree, it's too bad no one can EVER find an extras girl to ever answer a question honestly. Of course, it's at least nice this girl recognizes that fact, rather than does the usual pretending that it's something that's rare or never happens or "rule #1 of strip clubs: we won't have sex with you" type of answer. Here's her reply: "No, but prostitution is hugely prevalent within the dance industry". Yes, true.
discussion comment
7 years ago
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Papi_ChuloMiami, FL (or the nearest big-booty club)
I suspect those tubbies may actually be eating the spinners
discussion comment
7 years ago
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joc13firmly on the Atlanta United bandwagon!
Fun idea... my proposals for stripper bingo card cells:
I'll be back after I go on stage
We'll have so much more fun in the VIP
Do you have a tip for me?
Do you come here often?
Sorry I lost my phone!
So.... what do you like to do when you're here?
discussion comment
7 years ago
Ya, I've seen some fun conversations on stripperweb where they talked about how sex isn't part of the deal for SD/SB relationships, and how there's plenty of men who don't demand it, and SBs shouldn't give it. It's all pretty consistent with the general mass delusion about how the world works over there. The girls aren't allowed to go very far outside the consensus reality that's been constructed, so they have to tread carefully.
That said, there is a consistency to how the girls look at extras, versus SA or escorts. The stance is that strip clubs are for stripping only, and extras shouldn't be in the strip club ... but that having sex in an area of the sex industry where sex is expected, like escorting, sensual massage, or SD/SB, is ok. They don't put down the escorts or "bodyrub" girls, either, just strippers who do extras
discussion comment
7 years ago
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Doces300You can run but you will only die tired
As far as an exercise program, maybe start here? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8cKH9VBe2Q
discussion comment
7 years ago
^^ I hadn't thought of that ... but in a way, it IS homework, isn't it? 100% certain the PL will be asking, "what did you think? what's your favorite song?", etc. Unless, of course, she asks
discussion comment
7 years ago
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Doces300You can run but you will only die tired
The way you condition your body for working out, is to work out :) If you were new to this, I'd tell you to just lower the intensity a bit for a couple of weeks, and work up to it. Since you're not new, I assume you either did some new exercises or just radically upped your intensity; in either case, the solution is to either 1. don't go too intense with new exercises and raise intensity gradually, or 2. enjoy the soreness as an indicator of the fact that you did new/extra work, it'll go away by itself as you condition for it.
discussion comment
7 years ago
Heh, mixtape (by which I was thinking you meant playlist, hysterical you're actually burning CDs!) is a level of PLhood I have not sunk to. Not that I'm above it, but it's been decades since I've been truly passionate about music (it's just something that's in the background while I drink and faux-flirt with my stripper), so the topic of me giving her a playlist would never come up. In fact, if anything, it's the reverse ... many of the songs on my phone I heard in the strip club, picked by either the DJ or the strippers, it's one way I keep up with fresh new music; as a result, I'd rather the stripper give ME a playlist!
discussion comment
7 years ago
One of my kids hates traditional thanksgiving food -- literally, she seems to hate everything, turkey, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, corn, she eats none of it. So, tomorrow is homestyle Italian, pasta cooked al dente to perfection, meatballs, etc. It's only a zillion times more delicious than bland-ass turkey, so I'm not regretting it at all!
discussion comment
7 years ago
-->"MBOT in the 90s = brothel"
The big difference, of course, is that "Follies quality dancers" shouldn't be what pops into your mind. MBOT in the 90s = full extras with Spearmint Rhino / Sapphires Las Vegas quality dancers. That's what we lost