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11 years ago
Seriously dude...once, just once, say no to the crystal meth!
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11 years ago
Juice my man, you need to have 256 aliases. I dig powers of 2.
Then 512. Then 1024. The thak over the motherfuckin' stripperweb! WEEE-YAWWW!!!
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11 years ago
@GMD -- that's what I call healthy living. A chick that gets loaded on Xanex and fucks random theater pervs bareback.
There can be no downsides to that lifestyle choice. I'm sure well see lots of 95 year old Xanex using theater sluts in 60 or 70 years...
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11 years ago
Carl95. Supermane drinks the GOOD STUFF. Old Gatorade that has fermented in the dumpster!
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11 years ago
Supermane...you know you're my bro, but you gots ta kick it up a notch. Addiction or hobby...peshaw...yo' a dillitante my brother. Unless you dedicate at least 90% of your take home to clubbin' you just a soft core dude.
Now...95% and above... THAT'S AN ADDICTION. Find the sweet spot between 90% and 95% of your take home income.
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11 years ago
By the way my brothers... You want to know what a diet of top ramen and Gatorade looks like from the inside?
www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/09/ramen-digestion_n_1263825.html
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11 years ago
Shark my man, $35K a year can go mighty far if you keep your expenses down. You just gots ta have your "fortress of solitude" (a '70s vintage panel van with an air mattress in the back, aging Farrah poster still tacked to the roof) that you park down by the river. You gots ta eat only top ramen and Gatorade that you steal from peewee soccer games. Maybe dumpster dive for some protein occasionally. Perhaps kill and eat some possums. To bathe, simply remove your super-suit and jump in the river. For heating and cooking, you steal electricity and use that to run a hot plate and an old electric heater.
If you do that, you're maybe spending $15 a week on living expenses (I'm assuming the van down by he river is on cinderblocks, so no gas money). OK, so we've got $780 living expenses per year. Make it an even $1K to account for sundries. Easy peasy... You gots yosef $34K for clubbin'
What about taxes and saving for the future? Easy...when yo' supermane yo' get paid under the table and you're an immortal dude living off $1K a year. Trust me bro, supermane has $34K per year exclusively for clubbing!!!
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11 years ago
C'mon my pervo brothers, I don't get the "he should keep it too himself" attitude. If he were heterosexual should he avoid being seen with girlfriend(s) in public?
I think it's cool that the dude came out. Unfortunately, it is likely to hurt his chances in the draft. That is actually why Michelle Obama was right. Motorhead is right, he's not the first gay NFL player. But he is the first to tell people he's gay. And he did it at a time when it could hurt him in the draft. That takes guts.
Dude probably doesn't want to lie about himself and worry about rumors or having a pic of him and some dude fueling gay speculation. I'll wait to be offended until he does something offensive, like run a dog fighting ring or kill somebody while DUI, to be offended. If all he does is play good football and be an openly gay dude I say coo-el for him.
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11 years ago
Yup...1134207 is too many!
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11 years ago
Seriously though, it sounds like it could have turned ugly. Glad it didn't...
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11 years ago
At least he didn't get all freaked out and accuse you of stealing his fried chicken. If I've learned one thing fro reading TUSCLit is that there are some freaky people out there, and many of them like to use fried chicken as a sexual aid.
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11 years ago
One of my favorites from many moons ago wore a tube top as a miniskirt. Incredibly frickin' short and incredibly hot.
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11 years ago
How about club Muzak? Would it make you feel like you're in a supermarket but with nekkid chicks?
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11 years ago
Fuck yeah Gucci_Mane.
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11 years ago
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ilbbaicnlKeep it in my pants when I do OTC. If I were a stripper it would stand for I like big bucks and I can not lie.
But I guess overuse of WD-40 in the vagina and/or anus can have negative consequences. I wonder why they don't print "use vaginally or anally AT YOUR OWN RISK"
"And don't squirt it up your ass and fart onto a lit cigarette lighter. You might get a nasty burn on yo' ass. If you use WD-40 that way YOU'RE A DUMBASS!"
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11 years ago
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ilbbaicnlKeep it in my pants when I do OTC. If I were a stripper it would stand for I like big bucks and I can not lie.
Well ilbbaicnl my man...how else is Annette going to let Frankie up her cooter when she's dealing with a bush hair helmet? WD-40 is the logical choice!
I'd think that you of all people would know that.
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11 years ago
C'mon folks....why can't the crazy aliases just get along? You're both crazy after all!
So Super_Mane...stare at Power Girl's cleavage window 'til you feel a tingly feeling in your tights.
JesterL...perhaps you could detail your god powers. I have the power to make the clothes fall off of hot chicks. Pretty coo-el power, no?
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11 years ago
However, I must say that this prank has Juice written all over it. That dude gets around. Arrested in a prostitution sting being conducted by the police dept he works for, kicked in the nads for 6 hrs 'cos he likes it, grabs some fried chicken and jacks off in the street, flies to Toronto hoping Rob Ford will give him a rock of crack to taser Justin Bieber on the taint.
Now he flies to Moscow to carve a giant dick and leave it on the car of a Putin critic.
Juice dude...I'm down with your crazy antics, but don't support repressive regimes.
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11 years ago
This is some freaky ass shit. I love the line "The Russian state doesn’t have to beat you with a stick. We can fuck you up with a carrot, too.†Apparently, they can fuck their critics with a 200 lb wooden cock too.
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11 years ago
@Cky and dougsta -- I'm not sure we need to keep reminding ourselves of this racist asshole. Let him fade into TUSCL memory.
I do miss the really funny old school Juicebox. Before all the drama, when he would start out posts with "I thank..." and the talk up some crazy ass shit. C'mon back to the reservation Juice my man.
But Bonerbreath? Yeah, the dude's a jerkwad. But he's posted very little and most of of what he has posted is pointless, racist, and stupid. He's only reviewed only two clubs. He's a non-entity. Let's not make him anything more.
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11 years ago
@skibum my man, a difference between your attitude and mine is that you seem to find politics in everything. The NYT ran the piece because Allen has been in the news with the lifetime award and people are interested in the salacious aspects of the dude's life.
I could just as easily call the NYT a conservative rag for the Judith Miller BS. And that helped push us into a costly and pointless war. Although I'm glad Saddam Hussein got his, there are worse dictators in the world and I'm not convinced Iraq is any better off. Did we need to spend lives and money for that?
The Allen/Farrow stuff has no implications for anybody but Allen and Farrow. If Allen did it he's deserves to be punished. He won't be because Farrow never pursued charges. And he's innocent until proven guilty. The Soon-Yi thing is a bit of a boundary issue, arguably, but she was apparently 19 when it started and apparently Allen and Farrow lived separately. No evidence that the dude likes really young girls so I view him as likely to be innocent and see his movies if I think I'll like them...
No politics.
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11 years ago
@shark my man... You're a class A-1 freak. And I mean that as a complement my friend.
You totally need to Tellar stripper 'bout your adventure on the planet o' hot ass chicks. It no "can I sodomize you with a drumstick for $5" but its still pretty mothahfucking coo-el.
I recently had a dream 'bout fuckin' a hot ass stripper. She wasn't an alien or a manifestation of a 5000 year old spirit or a being of light and energy or anything like that. So I guess that's pretty much Shadowcat's Tues night.
Weeeee-yaaaawwwww!!!
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11 years ago
What is the weirdest thing you've ever said to a stripper?
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11 years ago
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ilbbaicnlKeep it in my pants when I do OTC. If I were a stripper it would stand for I like big bucks and I can not lie.
They can also tell just from a sniff whether or not a chick lets dudes sodomize her with an XXXtra KRIS-pay drumstick
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11 years ago
@shark --
After the dust devil incident with your satanic stripper, did she say some gibberish? I bet that if you recorded it and played it backward it would say:
Oh here's to my sweet Satan.
The one whose little path would make me sad, whose power is Satan.
He'll give those with him 666.
There was a little tool shed where he made us suffer, sad Satan
Fuck yeah Satan strippers from HELL!!!!