Weird things to say TO a stripper!!

What is the weirdest thing you've ever said to a stripper?

I have a good one. I was in the Marines and there was rumor of the wife, ex wife to be of a guy in my unit , that was stripping out in town. When I got discharged I went out in town and was killing some time and went to the strip club. This girl started dancing for me, and asks what Unit I was in. I go "you are so and so's wife". She about shit herself.

I told a dancer the sexiest thing about her was her freckles

I once told a dancer she was making my wiener tingle. She fell on the floor laughing.

A couple of my favs rarely to never ate vegetables, so I nagged them constantly about at least taking vitamins. Told them the DJ was going to introduce them as "the scurvy girl" and such.

This is a tough question.

It was probably something I forgot the details that she remembered so well, she told other dancers. Probably something to do with aliens. I think she forgot the part where I started off the story where I said I had a dream and she thought whatever I said really happened. If dreams are real maybe I did kill a bunch of gray aliens in some alternate reality. They shouldn't have ticked me off while I was asleep. After they abducted my astral form, I actually enjoyed trying to take over their ship. Their paralyzing equipment didn't work on me which confused the hell out of them. I had fun watching them run in terror. I could read their minds and I scared the living daylights out of them. I kept their navigators alive and didn't hurt that group because I thought I might need them. It was like I was playing a computer game. Maybe I should have sent them a telepathic message that I really enjoyed playing Xcom UFO defense where you kill aliens and can use mind control on them.

They did get me by surprise with their emergency beam out device. I woke up in bed after I ran down the wrong corridor. I got sent a telepathic message that I would be blacklisted from any more abductions. I sent them a message that if they didn't immediately leave this area of space, I might attack their home planet or something like that. Maybe I just said I might visit them, buhahaha . It was a dream. I think a dancer was fascinated with my story and didn't remember the dream part.

I should have told the dancer that in the men in black must have flashed me. I can't remember any alien story.
I'll try to remember that line in case a dancer asks me to remember a story I forgot.

"Congratulations. You gave a grand father a hard on"

Sharkhunter, you have great dreams! Can you program yourself to dream sci-fi?

I told a stripper I was in love with her after only meeting her that night. It was the alcohol I tell you!!

I don't recall saying anything weird, but I've had drunk/stoned strippers misunderstand normal statements, and think them weird.

I can do a step better than sci fi dreams. I can dream lucid dreams or dream I have super powers. I've done it a gazillion times. Visited a whole planet full of hot young females. They were all in their 20's or close to it. No one aged. I was the first male they saw. They had beer and tv but if I wanted to see a porno, I was going to star in it. No tv censors. They were all female. I was like a protected alien. After I left to return to Earth I got a message that they were going to find me. I snuck away. If a bunch of alien ships appear in the skies over the Earth, you guys need to help me have sex. There were millions or billions of hot girls looking to have sex.


It's fun to have super powers in your dreams, travel in time and into different dimensions.

@shark my man... You're a class A-1 freak. And I mean that as a complement my friend.

You totally need to Tellar stripper 'bout your adventure on the planet o' hot ass chicks. It no "can I sodomize you with a drumstick for $5" but its still pretty mothahfucking coo-el.

I recently had a dream 'bout fuckin' a hot ass stripper. She wasn't an alien or a manifestation of a 5000 year old spirit or a being of light and energy or anything like that. So I guess that's pretty much Shadowcat's Tues night.

Weeeee-yaaaawwwww!!!