tuscl

Weird things strippers say

Clackport
Washington
Saturday, February 1, 2014 11:08 AM
Last night a stripper told me my face was symmetrically perfect. It took all my power not to bust out laughing right there. What are some weird things strippers have said to you?

36 comments

  • georgmicrodong
    •
    10 years ago
    "Wow, that's the cutest dick I've ever seen." "Sorry, I don't deepthr...oh, never mind."
  • sharkhunter
    •
    10 years ago
    "Can you believe some guy asked me how much for a bj? What kind of girl does he think I am?" "I have a tight pussy." "You know the guy who tipped me ten dollars at the stage? I walked away from him after he asked if I was a dike. I don't look like I have a dick do I?". Maybe not exact words but close.
  • motorhead
    •
    10 years ago
    "You must be German. Germans have big ears and you have big ears."
  • Clackport
    •
    10 years ago
    Let's expand it to weird things strippers say or do. I was tipping a stripper on stage, she had a lollipop. She stuck the lollipop in her pussy, and then she tried to put the lollipop in the mouth. Yuck! Another time on stage a stripper took my beer bottle and stuck it in her ass. She then gave the beer bottle back to me. Uh, do you really think I want to drink out of that anymore?
  • sharkhunter
    •
    10 years ago
    " Do you want a bj or just regular sex?" me how about a dance? her "I don't do dances. You have to get a bj or go all the way." After asking me for a dance. me I don't have any money left. her. "I don't care about the money. Let me talk with you for a while." She did. 30 minutes too.
  • Clackport
    •
    10 years ago
    "in the mouth" I meant to say in my mouth.
  • sharkhunter
    •
    10 years ago
    I just entered a strip club and saw some empty seats not far from the center stage so I sat there. Along came two dancers I recognized. They both approached me. They didn't ask to do a dance but told me they were going to dance. a table dance. I told them I didn't want to pay for a double dance. They told me I had a secret benefactor. They both danced for me. no charge. I asked who paid for it? They wouldn't say.
  • fun12times12
    •
    10 years ago
    That's just awesome Shark. Need someone to be my secret backer of my dances.
  • bigstad24
    •
    10 years ago
    One time a stripper said, "I wouldn't lie to you."
  • Dougster
    •
    10 years ago
    A stripper once told me that I would like because she was "charismatic". I kind of chuckled and said that's a word usually used to describe a political or religious leader. She then proceeded to flip out on me. Charismatic but with a temper?
  • SlickSpic
    •
    10 years ago
    Not necessarily what she said but how she said it. This one stripper was doing her best to chat me up. Only problem was she had just been to the dentist and her mouth was numb from Novicaine(and dentist dick). Anyways, her speech was slurred and garbled, she drooled some, and eventually some gauze slipped out if her mouth and onto the table. She was embarrassed but I rolled with it. Even through a mouth full of pain, she soldiered on and proceeded to give me one hell of a 3-4-1.
  • alabegonz
    •
    10 years ago
    I like you so much. You look awesome. You are so cool.
  • Experimental
    •
    10 years ago
    The shape of your jawline and mouth is perfect for eating pussy.
  • londonguy
    •
    10 years ago
    @ Experimental. That is so funny, if that happened to be I think I'd be bent double with laughter, even though it would be true :-)
  • motorhead
    •
    10 years ago
    "The shape of your jawline and mouth is perfect for eating pussy" Well, that's better than what a dancer said to me. "Your dick is the perfect size for anal sex" I'm not sure if that is a good thing.
  • SlickSpic
    •
    10 years ago
    No need to worry Moto. That means that you found yourself a good girl. She's just saving her pussy for marriage.
  • zipman68
    •
    10 years ago
    Well, a stripper did once ask me if I wanted to sex her up barnacle style, but I thought that was just commentary on my groovy groovy cock.
  • ATACdawg
    •
    10 years ago
    @Experimental: But did she say anything about the length of your tongue?
  • Clackport
    •
    10 years ago
    LOL
  • lopaw
    •
    10 years ago
    "I'm not into girls but I wonder what you taste like." heeheehee she found out.
  • sclvr5005
    •
    10 years ago
    @lopaw- whoa.
  • sflguy123
    •
    10 years ago
    When she asks "You want do buy me a drink?" Not sound to weird you think. But it's after I say "No thanks" to her asking me if I want a dance. Hello if I don't want a dance from you why would I want to spend $10-15 so you can get an overpriced drink! The other thing that irrates me is when I say "No" to a dance and she asks me "Why?". Am I really supposed to say what I'm thinking? B/c ur ugly, ur fat, ur breath smells etc.
  • sharkhunter
    •
    10 years ago
    I told a dancer I might have a ghost or something in my house but whatever is attracted to me. She told me she had some type of poltergiest ghost opening up kitchen cabinets, drawers, etc, when no one was home. I told her I would ask my friend to visit and kick some ghost butt. A couple of weeks later she said it worked. All poltergeist activity stopped. A year later she said there's still nothing going on. I asked her if she wanted some ghostly company and she said, NO. Meanwhile I'm attempting to train the ghosts. lol just kidding on this part.
  • sharkhunter
    •
    10 years ago
    I once told a dancer that I had something really odd happen to me one time. A dust devil formed around me as I was walking. I was at the eye of it as it grew bigger and bigger. I'd probably be on YouTube if anyone had seen it and had a camera phone handy. The dancer told me the same thing happened to her one time. I thought really? Really? That is either like a billion to one odds or she is lying. I thought it was a half billion to one odds of it happening to one person let alone two and then those two people meet. Maybe there are satanic forces at work and it's no coincidence. I didn't tell her both the dust devil and I stopped at my dorm building. I hesitated before deciding to walk through the wall of of it. There was a lot of dust and some dirt. It broke apart after I walked through it. I miss stuff like that. I don't see too much exciting stuff anymore.
  • zipman68
    •
    10 years ago
    @sflguy123 -- to be fair to the stripper, not sure how weird that was. She may have been pretty sure you'd say no, but there is little cost to her. Five or ten seconds to say "oh, would you like to buy me a drink" and wait for a yes or no. If you did say yes she'd get something but if you say no she didn't lose much. I don't know how many strippers would think that through, but there is no reinforcement not to do that. Now weird...that would something lik: S: "would you like a dance?" U: "no, thank you" S: "ok...how about we leave here and start some sort of sugar daddy-sugar baby thing?"
  • sharkhunter
    •
    10 years ago
    Lol, I thought one dancer could have been Satan in female form. It seemed like she was pure evil. Why she was talking to me I did not know. I didn't want anything to do with her. Maybe some of you guys have met her.
  • zipman68
    •
    10 years ago
    @shark -- After the dust devil incident with your satanic stripper, did she say some gibberish? I bet that if you recorded it and played it backward it would say: Oh here's to my sweet Satan. The one whose little path would make me sad, whose power is Satan. He'll give those with him 666. There was a little tool shed where he made us suffer, sad Satan Fuck yeah Satan strippers from HELL!!!!
  • SlickSpic
    •
    10 years ago
    Dust devil? Shit, around these here parts, we vacuum with a Kirby!
  • shadowcat
    •
    10 years ago
    "Is it in yet" :)
  • sharkhunter
    •
    10 years ago
    I just thought of a new one that might apply to strippers in the South. "Have you heard about the fake snow?" Actually I have watched youtube lately and I heard about some people claiming the snow was fake. video of someone claiming the snow is fake [view link] There are several others. Now here is a video explaining this a bit debunking it. Silly strippers. [view link]
  • sharkhunter
    •
    10 years ago
    Oh, I saw one video where the guy claimed the snow was actually nanomaterial or even nanobots. He said don't let your kids eat it. Don't touch it. lol :) I guess that's one way to keep idiots off the highway, tell them the snow is dangerous to their health.
  • bang69
    •
    10 years ago
    Ak I just remembered I for got to sign is be right back
  • Estafador
    •
    10 years ago
    "You look like my ex-boyfriend" "...I'm sorry?" I was totally confused and wasn't sure whether this was a pick-up line or if she was just insulting me.
  • Clackport
    •
    10 years ago
    Esta- I had a stripper that said I reminded her of her ex-boyfriend. I didn't know if that was a insult or compliment because she always told me he's a bad person. Hopefully I remind her of him because we look similar.
  • skibum609
    •
    10 years ago
    My favorite line said to me? One of the dancers was an overt and notorious man hating lesbian. AS she was wicked drunk one night as was I, I figured why not get her in private. She was actually fun, receptive and I was beginning to wonder whether the stories about her were true when she whispered in my ear: "this isn't bad at all. Its rare for me to not think about killing the guy who's touching me..so this is nice". Lost my hard on quicker than I would have walking blind folded through a gauntlet of chain saws.
  • 10inches
    •
    10 years ago
    dancer walked up to me, leaned over and whispered in my ear "I'm the best cock sucker in this place, wanna let me prove it ?"
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