"Can you believe some guy asked me how much for a bj? What kind of girl does he think I am?"
"I have a tight pussy."
"You know the guy who tipped me ten dollars at the stage? I walked away from him after he asked if I was a dike. I don't look like I have a dick do I?". Maybe not exact words but close.
Let's expand it to weird things strippers say or do.
I was tipping a stripper on stage, she had a lollipop. She stuck the lollipop in her pussy, and then she tried to put the lollipop in the mouth. Yuck!
Another time on stage a stripper took my beer bottle and stuck it in her ass. She then gave the beer bottle back to me. Uh, do you really think I want to drink out of that anymore?
" Do you want a bj or just regular sex?"
me how about a dance?
her
"I don't do dances. You have to get a bj or go all the way."
After asking me for a dance.
me
I don't have any money left.
her. "I don't care about the money. Let me talk with you for a while."
She did. 30 minutes too.
I just entered a strip club and saw some empty seats not far from the center stage so I sat there. Along came two dancers I recognized. They both approached me. They didn't ask to do a dance but told me they were going to dance. a table dance. I told them I didn't want to pay for a double dance. They told me I had a secret benefactor.
They both danced for me.
no charge.
I asked who paid for it? They wouldn't say.
A stripper once told me that I would like because she was "charismatic". I kind of chuckled and said that's a word usually used to describe a political or religious leader. She then proceeded to flip out on me. Charismatic but with a temper?
Not necessarily what she said but how she said it. This one stripper was doing her best to chat me up. Only problem was she had just been to the dentist and her mouth was numb from Novicaine(and dentist dick). Anyways, her speech was slurred and garbled, she drooled some, and eventually some gauze slipped out if her mouth and onto the table. She was embarrassed but I rolled with it.
Even through a mouth full of pain, she soldiered on and proceeded to give me one hell of a 3-4-1.
Not sound to weird you think. But it's after I say "No thanks" to her asking me if I want a dance.
Hello if I don't want a dance from you why would I want to spend $10-15 so you can get an overpriced drink!
The other thing that irrates me is when I say "No" to a dance and she asks me "Why?". Am I really supposed to say what I'm thinking? B/c ur ugly, ur fat, ur breath smells etc.
I told a dancer I might have a ghost or something in my house but whatever is attracted to me.
She told me she had some type of poltergiest ghost opening up kitchen cabinets, drawers, etc, when no one was home.
I told her I would ask my friend to visit and kick some ghost butt. A couple of weeks later she said it worked. All poltergeist activity stopped. A year later she said there's still nothing going on. I asked her if she wanted some ghostly company and she said, NO.
Meanwhile I'm attempting to train the ghosts. lol just kidding on this part.
I once told a dancer that I had something really odd happen to me one time. A dust devil formed around me as I was walking. I was at the eye of it as it grew bigger and bigger. I'd probably be on YouTube if anyone had seen it and had a camera phone handy.
The dancer told me the same thing happened to her one time. I thought really? Really? That is either like a billion to one odds or she is lying. I thought it was a half billion to one odds of it happening to one person let alone two and then those two people meet. Maybe there are satanic forces at work and it's no coincidence. I didn't tell her both the dust devil and I stopped at my dorm building. I hesitated before deciding to walk through the wall of of it. There was a lot of dust and some dirt. It broke apart after I walked through it. I miss stuff like that. I don't see too much exciting stuff anymore.
@sflguy123 -- to be fair to the stripper, not sure how weird that was. She may have been pretty sure you'd say no, but there is little cost to her. Five or ten seconds to say "oh, would you like to buy me a drink" and wait for a yes or no. If you did say yes she'd get something but if you say no she didn't lose much.
I don't know how many strippers would think that through, but there is no reinforcement not to do that.
Now weird...that would something lik:
S: "would you like a dance?"
U: "no, thank you"
S: "ok...how about we leave here and start some sort of sugar daddy-sugar baby thing?"
Lol, I thought one dancer could have been Satan in female form. It seemed like she was pure evil. Why she was talking to me I did not know. I didn't want anything to do with her. Maybe some of you guys have met her.
After the dust devil incident with your satanic stripper, did she say some gibberish? I bet that if you recorded it and played it backward it would say:
Oh here's to my sweet Satan.
The one whose little path would make me sad, whose power is Satan.
He'll give those with him 666.
There was a little tool shed where he made us suffer, sad Satan
I just thought of a new one that might apply to strippers in the South.
"Have you heard about the fake snow?"
Actually I have watched youtube lately and I heard about some people claiming the snow was fake.
video of someone claiming the snow is fake
http://youtu.be/5tEza2wB20c There are several others.
Oh, I saw one video where the guy claimed the snow was actually nanomaterial or even nanobots. He said don't let your kids eat it. Don't touch it. lol :)
I guess that's one way to keep idiots off the highway, tell them the snow is dangerous to their health.
Esta- I had a stripper that said I reminded her of her ex-boyfriend. I didn't know if that was a insult or compliment because she always told me he's a bad person. Hopefully I remind her of him because we look similar.
My favorite line said to me? One of the dancers was an overt and notorious man hating lesbian. AS she was wicked drunk one night as was I, I figured why not get her in private. She was actually fun, receptive and I was beginning to wonder whether the stories about her were true when she whispered in my ear: "this isn't bad at all. Its rare for me to not think about killing the guy who's touching me..so this is nice". Lost my hard on quicker than I would have walking blind folded through a gauntlet of chain saws.
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"Sorry, I don't deepthr...oh, never mind."
"I have a tight pussy."
"You know the guy who tipped me ten dollars at the stage? I walked away from him after he asked if I was a dike. I don't look like I have a dick do I?". Maybe not exact words but close.
I was tipping a stripper on stage, she had a lollipop. She stuck the lollipop in her pussy, and then she tried to put the lollipop in the mouth. Yuck!
Another time on stage a stripper took my beer bottle and stuck it in her ass. She then gave the beer bottle back to me. Uh, do you really think I want to drink out of that anymore?
me how about a dance?
her
"I don't do dances. You have to get a bj or go all the way."
After asking me for a dance.
me
I don't have any money left.
her. "I don't care about the money. Let me talk with you for a while."
She did. 30 minutes too.
They both danced for me.
no charge.
I asked who paid for it? They wouldn't say.
Even through a mouth full of pain, she soldiered on and proceeded to give me one hell of a 3-4-1.
You look awesome.
You are so cool.
Well, that's better than what a dancer said to me.
"Your dick is the perfect size for anal sex"
I'm not sure if that is a good thing.
heeheehee she found out.
Not sound to weird you think. But it's after I say "No thanks" to her asking me if I want a dance.
Hello if I don't want a dance from you why would I want to spend $10-15 so you can get an overpriced drink!
The other thing that irrates me is when I say "No" to a dance and she asks me "Why?". Am I really supposed to say what I'm thinking? B/c ur ugly, ur fat, ur breath smells etc.
She told me she had some type of poltergiest ghost opening up kitchen cabinets, drawers, etc, when no one was home.
I told her I would ask my friend to visit and kick some ghost butt. A couple of weeks later she said it worked. All poltergeist activity stopped. A year later she said there's still nothing going on. I asked her if she wanted some ghostly company and she said, NO.
Meanwhile I'm attempting to train the ghosts. lol just kidding on this part.
The dancer told me the same thing happened to her one time. I thought really? Really? That is either like a billion to one odds or she is lying. I thought it was a half billion to one odds of it happening to one person let alone two and then those two people meet. Maybe there are satanic forces at work and it's no coincidence. I didn't tell her both the dust devil and I stopped at my dorm building. I hesitated before deciding to walk through the wall of of it. There was a lot of dust and some dirt. It broke apart after I walked through it. I miss stuff like that. I don't see too much exciting stuff anymore.
I don't know how many strippers would think that through, but there is no reinforcement not to do that.
Now weird...that would something lik:
S: "would you like a dance?"
U: "no, thank you"
S: "ok...how about we leave here and start some sort of sugar daddy-sugar baby thing?"
After the dust devil incident with your satanic stripper, did she say some gibberish? I bet that if you recorded it and played it backward it would say:
Oh here's to my sweet Satan.
The one whose little path would make me sad, whose power is Satan.
He'll give those with him 666.
There was a little tool shed where he made us suffer, sad Satan
Fuck yeah Satan strippers from HELL!!!!
"Have you heard about the fake snow?"
Actually I have watched youtube lately and I heard about some people claiming the snow was fake.
video of someone claiming the snow is fake
http://youtu.be/5tEza2wB20c
There are several others.
Now here is a video explaining this a bit debunking it. Silly strippers.
http://youtu.be/US6LmLeGRHI
I guess that's one way to keep idiots off the highway, tell them the snow is dangerous to their health.
"...I'm sorry?" I was totally confused and wasn't sure whether this was a pick-up line or if she was just insulting me.