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11 years ago
When I'm 85 I want to have a 19 year old girlfriend. So I say to you all...Edwin Edwards should have gone younger!!
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11 years ago
I wonder if there are any films of young Martha engaging in an interracial gangbang. I bet Martha liked getting DPed.
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11 years ago
^^^
Papi-dude, agreed. Judge Judy make my balls climb back into my body cavity. But how 'bout if we added the woman who played Kitty Forman on 'That 70s Show' as a third possibility?
And how would "ability to shove a roast turkey up her ass" play into the choice. If JJ was able to accomplish that feat would make you more willing to watch her strip?
discussion comment
11 years ago
One good thing about having our favorite turd in the punchbowl, Mr. Ad, on ignore is that I don't have to hear 'bout all the stuff he puts up his anus. Where do you think I heard that "with sufficient KY you can put anything up your ass"?
Dat shizzle be seriously fucked up!
discussion comment
11 years ago
On South Park Martha Stuart put a turkey up her ass.
I know what you are thinking. "Couldn't happen in real life." Au contraire, mon frere. I totally heard that she did it in real life. With enough KY you can put anything up your ass.
discussion comment
12 years ago
^^^
Good one Mr. Kat.
Just made me think...what is the WORST state for a stripper to use as a stage name? I would say "Iowa". Don't cost $300 to fuck Iowa. Dudes be fuckin' Iowa for pocket change and a pack o' zig-zags.
discussion comment
12 years ago
Sharkdude... Don't over think this my brother. Just buy an X-box, put on a backwards baseball cap, and quit your job. Now all you need is a bag o' weed and a pack o' zig-zags and you can begin your new life as a stripper BF.
Just remember, it is TOTALLY cool to screw her friends. She expects you to do that (in between playing video games and smokin' weed, o' course). Don't even try to hide the fact that you're doing her friends...that be disrespectful my bro!
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12 years ago
I don't think her name was Kim. The Czech dancer I met had a name w/o vowels. Like Tzprt or something. I bet that was her.
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12 years ago
^^^
They pay for their "dates" (cue Seinfeld music and say "not that there's anything wrong with that")
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12 years ago
An online sperm bank would be coo-el!
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12 years ago
Gotta dig #8. Hell, that "fuck-fu" shizzle should work on any woman, not just Asian women!
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12 years ago
You know what could stop a speeding Honda Civic on a death mission? Green Arrow or Hawkeye, depending upon whether you live in the DC comics or Marvel comics world.
See...no guns in the equation whatsoever!
P.S. I heard Spider Man can be pretty effective as well!
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12 years ago
Ray J is nothin' but class
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12 years ago
All of this be reversible if changing course gives me the LULZ. Consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds...
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12 years ago
Good luck on this one Crow-dude!
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12 years ago
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motorheadFat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life
Ebert was one of the good ones...RIP movie critic dude!
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12 years ago
Juice my friend don't be listenin' to ol' 23cambydude...you need to step it up a notch...write something 'bout strippers that reads like a prophecy in Galilean Aramaic translated into Middle English by the dudes who wrote the Passion o' da Christ and the transliterated into Cyrillic characters jes' for the LULZ...you should do for postin' on TUSCL what Reed did for Classical Music when he composed Metal Machine Music my brother...take my current abuse of sentence structure and SQUARE it...fuck, I wanna see craziness raised to the Nth power...how big an N can you achieve???
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12 years ago
Juice my brothah...a prophet of the LORD has to take action to peer behind the veil. Don't do a spa day. Do a sweat lodge. Strip off your clothes and eat heroic quantities of peyote after fasting for 4 days and 4 nights. Then sweat it out my brother. After doing that go to the club and face fuck the hottest stripper in the place.
You WILL have a vision my brother. You will be the bee and the walrus and the carpenter and the eggman and you will put your foot on the oscillation pedal and become a transdimensional speeder. Trust me, the last time I tried shizzle like that I transformed myself into a bat and a military helicopter locked onto me with a hippy-seeking missile.
But I did not worry. For it is written that if the evil spirit arms the tiger with claws Brahman providith wings for the dove. The dove of peace will always triumph. Thus spake the zipman.
discussion comment
12 years ago
^^^
If Tony Stark wasn't wearing groovy armor, he'd be wearing steel toed boots. And if it is cool enough for Tony Stark, it is cool enough for anybody...
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12 years ago
Alucard keeps writing me about how good a sharpie in the pooper feels, so I suspect he is being truthful when he says he hasn't used anything sold as a sex toy. Dude just repurposes stuff.
But seriously Drac-a-roo-dude, stop with the PMs 'bout your anal escapades. You're really irritating and you might hurt yourself. Please get some professional help.
Can anybody help Drac-man find a combination psychiatrist-proctologist? He really needs on.
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12 years ago
Do you ever feel we're too harsh on the Drac-a-roo? I mean really, a battle of wits with that dude doesn't feel right. Sort of like a gunfight with a dude who doesn't realize he has a cap pistol in his hand. Drac-dude would be sort of cute, like a 5 year old trying to have a deep conversation with the adults, if he wasn't irritating.
But, alas, he is irritating. Drac my man, STOP sending PMs about how good it feels to put sharpies up your pooper. I'm cool with you doing whatever crazy shizzle you want as long as it doesn't hurt anybody. But I don't want a running narrative via the Internet of how you feel when inserting things in your ass.
Just stop. You're embarrassing yourself.
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12 years ago
I'm glad you defined DMV clubs in your post. From the title I thought you meant "Dept of Motor Vehicles". Every time I've tried to pay for a BBBJ in that DMV the girl behind the counter gets all bent out of shape. Bitch wanted me to take an eye test. I told he I could see he good enough if she took her top off and deep throated me. But she warned me she was going to call the cops.
Lesson learned...DMV is a sucky place to try to get sucked!
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12 years ago
The Drac-man has a point. From now on I'm only going to the club if I wear a BL4 suit as protection. Maybe I can convince the club to replace the black lights with germicidal UV lamps.