Comments by chitownlawyer (page 4)

PT's Sports, Sauget--Penelope Cruz and Elizabeth Hurley Oasis Goodtime Emporium, Atlanta--Andie McDowell and Vanessa Williams

and more that have happened to me in the past month or so: 1 the manager gives you a card comping indefinitely your cover charge: 2. on entering the club, as you fumble to find said card, the door guy says, "It's OK, I know who you are", and waves you through; and 3. The VIP door guy comps your entry fee into VIP.

You walk into the club, and an other patron voluntariy and knowingly vacates "your" chair so that you can take your accustomed and rightful place therein.

Only with a couple that I knew fairly well, and it was in the context of other things. I have gotten the whole gamut of responses: Yes, and I honestly account for my income (unsually from the single moms), yes, but I shave down my reported income (usually from the more savvy, street-smart types), to "no", usually from girls who are so ditzy that they wouldn't file income taxes if they worked at Wal-Mart. The girls who are honest about it usually explain that they realize that they need tax returns to get a mortgage or a loan on a decent car. One dancer told me that she was aware of that requirement, but that they guy she shacked with made enough that they could,jointly, qualify for a mortgage on any house they would want, just based on his income.

The standard at the high end clubs in ESL is $40, 3/100. That's as high as I've heard anywhere.

I read an article about "manscaping" in Esquire a couple of months ago. The woman who ran the salon said, "Our key concepts here are 'back, crack, and sack.'" The very thought makes me cross my legs.

What are you talking about? (I guess that means I never have).

She seems to have treated you decently, and I think she deserves the same in return. I would keep a "friendly", non-sexual relationship with her. On the other hand, if you feel drawn to her such that you will end up having sex with her if you keep any relationship with her, then you do need to leave.

Introduced by a legislator from Spartanburg...home of a Penthouse Club. Perhaps his constituents can point out to him the $$$ that strip clubs generate in his home base.

Springfield, Illinois has had a municipal no-smoking law for the past two years, anticipating the rest of the state by about a year. I was in Springfield's one strip club, a Deja Vu, before the muncipal no-smoking law took effect, and I have been in the club since the no-smoking law took effect. The club was equally mediocre on both visits--the typical Deja Vu combination of low mileage and high hustle. So, in this case, I would say that the no-smoking law was a neutral factor.

HarryDave, that's exactly what I did at Oasis--took a shot girl back into VIP. And in return, I got one of the best high mileage dances I have ever gotten.

Talk about being a "stiff." Reminds me of the old limerick: Said an undertaker's daughter named Maddie To a shy and virginal laddie "If you do as I say, We can have a great lay 'cause I've buried more stiffs than my Daddy."

I am down here in Southern Illinois, literally right across the Mississippi River from St. Louis. There are no strip clubs of any note in Missouri, so competition between te two states is not a factor. The strip clubs in the East St. Louis area sit in two counties, Madison and St. Clair. The State's Attorney (government prosecutor) of St. Clair County (which includes East St. Louis, Sauget, Washington Park, and Centreville) has announced publicly that he will not enforce the law. The States's Attorney of Madison County (Venice--Roxy's and Pink Slip) about this topic, has said that in the first three months of this year, no LE agency has brought any citations/charges to his office. In the clubs that I go to, there is no noticeable difference from pre-smoking ban. For about the first three weeks of January, management took about half of the ashtrays off of the tables on the main floor, but they are all back, and life is back to normal. I think that the dancers were going outside to smoke for about the first three days of January, then they cut out that shit.

No, not "Bullshit", just past history. Alas, I had some of my best early experiences in Houston during the "good old days". My first lap dance ever was at the Colorado Bar and Grill. My first experiences with "extras" was at a now-closed place called "Paradise." Indeed, it was. I knew I was going to have an interesting experience there when I got out of my car and noticed that a dancer was blowing a guy in the car parked next to me. They must have wanted to leave the club to get some fresh air, because they certainly didn't need to leave the club for the activity that they were engaged in when I saw them. Their VIP area was the balcony area of what had previously been a theatre. You could lean over the edge of the balcony and motion for the girls onstage to come upstairs to see you. I think that this building has most recently housed a club called "Cover Girls." Sic transit gloria! (Actually, her name may have been Esmerelda, not Gloria)

I have been going to strip clubs a lot less since I discovered Tijuana. Although that trip takes up the better part of two days, I can have a great time for $1,000-1,200, all costs included, and it is really also a mini-vacation, so I come back refreshed. I would much rather have the direct type of dealings you get with prostitutes in TJ than playing games with strippers. I have to say that I disagree with those post-ers who seem to equate strippers and escorts/hookers. The risk of getting involved with escorts is huge, from a legal standpoint. Most men would experience a substantial detrimental effect in their lifestyles (marriages/children/jobs/criminal status) if they got caught using escorts. When you go to a country in which prostitution is legal, or at least tolerated, you have no risk of legal complications. (I suppose San Francisco would fit in here too, since the prosecutor in that county has said that he is not going to prosecute private commercial sex between consenting adults). Anyway, with the exception of a few "wild hairs", for the past six months or so, I have lived with minimal strip club visits, in return for (hopefully) quarterly trips to TJ. Next trip is in 2 1/2 weeks.

A couple of years ago I represented a franchise of a national chain restaurant in a suit in which two patrons claimed that the kitchen staff had ejaculated in their food. Both plaintiffs demanded one million each. The settlement was confidential, but it sure the hell wasn't a mill each.

I have found that as I have gotten older, my taste in boobs has gone from "bigger is always better" (teens and twenties), to having a preference for a nice firm set of any size, but preferably B/C. Most guys really dislike the super-hard implants, and of course, the worst are the ones where you can actually feel the implant, like a bag of jelly. I am, however, particular, about breast shape, and the "pancake" shape really turns me off. Although I am generally not a fan of breast implants for size, I do think that they should sometimes be done for shape.

I have a feeling that the proportion of strippers who watch porn mirrors that of the number of non-stripper women who do--which means, I think, a relatively low amount. On the other hand, I used to have an OTC arrangement with a stripper who always asked that I bring porn DVDs with me when we met. She got a little offended one time when she noticed that I always brought DVDs starring brunettes (Cheyenne Silver...Taylor Hayes...Nikki Dial...Christy Canyon {Christy and I are the same age, so watching her loops/tapes/DVDs over the years has been like watching the maturing of a hot wife}), and the OTC girl was a blonde. Here's something interesting to think about when you watch porn with a woman: When men watch porn, they generally get horny, and their standards for fucking go down. On the other hand, when a woman watches porn, or any other film, her standards tend to rise, and she startes to compare her partner to the man on the screen...and become MORE demanding in terms of what she will fuck. So, when it comes to watching porn with a woman...pick the Ron Jeremy DVDs. You'll look great by comparison.

I wouldn't fuck Jenna Jameson with your dick. Good heavens, I hope not! You might hurt her.

About two weeks ago, I was having a conversation with a dancer during which she told me how "disgusting" it was that men came into the club wearing no underwear, or wearing shorts. She said it was clear they were doing that because they thought they would get higher mileage. She had such a smoking body that I took her to the private area, although I wasn't expecting more than a little touchy-feely at most. When we got to the private area, she took off my belt, un-did the trousers of my suit (two buttons and a hook-and-eye snap), pulled my boxers down, and gave me a hand job until I came. I guess the lesson is that if a dancer is inclined to give a high mileage dance, she will do so regardless of what you are wearing.

I knew I was a regular when the manager gave me an "industry card"--24/7 pass to the club and its local sister club. I agree with the above. The good thing about being a regular is that your dances with a particular girl start where the last one with her left off--so mileage tends to escalate. The bad thing is that strip clubs are like high school, and can end up becoming a member of the supporting cast, whether you want to be or not. I my area (ESL), mileage is generally so good, that the disadvantages of regular-dom outweigh the advantages. At least that's how I feel about it this week. The next time I have only an hour or so to spend at a club, and I have specific goals in mind in going to the club at which I am a regular, I'm sure I'll weigh the factors differently.

Just last week, a dancer was telling me that she lost a fairly lucrative contact with a "sugar daddy" when the stripper's boyfriend found the stripper's cell phone, called the "S.D." and told Mr. SugarDaddy (, Esquire) that the boyfriend was going to stomp his sorry ass.

In my college class of 8,000, if we assume half of them, or about 4,000, were women, I would bet at least 20% of the women were at least as good looking. When I was working in Chicago, I saw several women better looking than AAD every day just taking the train to work in the Loop. (That's why I held my briefcase how I did.) Jester214 is right. She probably has already signed the contract with Mr. Hefner, Mr. Guccione, or the "talent development" person at Vivid or Excalibur. Get Ron Jeremy to lose 400 pounds, and he can play Spitzer.

As any college textbook will state, the "value" of any economic good is what a willing buyer will pay a willing seller, both dealing at arms' length (no secret sweetheart deals on the side), and without either party acting under compulsion to act (i.e., the seller does not need to get money to stop his car from being re-possessed in a half an hour). Or, as some other posters have said above, something is worth what someone will pay for it. Pussy is not, strictly speaking, an economic good, because trade it in is illegal. Generally speaking, contraband (illegally traded goods, such as pussy) brings a higher price than legal goods, because the seller has to be compensated for the legal hazards involved in engaging in the trade. Obviously, every good for which there is a market (whether legal or illegal) will have a high end and a low end. The low end of the market for pussy is pathetically low. I suspect every major metropolitan area has meth/crack houses in which addicts will blow you for $5 toward the next hit. The more interesting question to me, rather than where the low end is, is where the high end is in the market for pussy. I'm going to assume that the "Emperor's Club" was very close to the high end, if not at the high end. If that is the case, then I wonder why $5,500 an hour would be the high end. As far as I am concerned, no pussy is worth that amount (unless there is some really mind blowing technique I'm not aware of, or these women have sexual organs that other women don't have). But I wonder, for those men who will pay that much, why they won't pay more...why the market tops out at $5,500/hr, and not $10K, or $100K/hour for that matter. Questions above my pay grade.

I think they're pretty clearly store bought. I think that she is hot with the implants and the nose job. In the earlier pictures, pre-surgical intervention, she looks like your typical goombah from the Jersey Shore.