Comments by DoctorPhil. (page 9)

I’ve been staying away from the political treads because it’s too easy to get a rise out of folks. But I’m really glad I checked this one. This shit: “ ^ Because this one isn't a real lion, just an annoying giant pussy” Is some top notch shit. I mean really. Not a real lion? Heaven forfend. That’s some Sherlock Holmes level deduction there Tetradon. How did you come to that conclusion? Did you use my space geneious algorithm to compare the lion guy’s posts to all of the real lions you find posting on “teh interwebz”? Keep up the good work! BTW, can I get your opinion on that lizard that sells insurance? Because I think that might not be a real talking lizard and I just want to check with an expert...

RickiBoi sez “ Right? After all, how crazy would it be if everything I posted on here was actually real? Then imagine if what I posted here was only a fraction of everything that I actually do with strippers? That'd just be some Crazy Town shit. 😉” Yes indeed. It would truly be some real crazy town shit. I’m not sure exactly how you find time to fuck fictional strippers in between all your TUSCL posting. Not to mention the fictional beefs with stripper boyfriends and being sole provider for your fictional children. You truly have a full fictional life. At least the fictional wife is out of your hair. Yay! More time to fuck fictional strippers! BTW, this is a top notch thread. Still going strong. Being a douche to the pimp is a great plot twist. Please post more of this kind of fiction. Bravo! 👏👏👏👏

Don’t worry Mr. Dugan. You have not painted a picture of yourself that is so unflattering that it lowers our opinion of you. To do that you’d have to steal a stripper’s phone and start fucking with her boyfriend’s head while pretending to be her. Actually, that would be a great plot for your next drunken misadventure. You should totally write that story. You’re welcome.

Does anybody want to take bets on Mr. Dugan’s next misadventure? I think this thread has given him the idea to post a story about his fictional ex trying to fuck him over by threatening to spill the beans on some fictional secrets he told her. I am looking forward to your upcoming fictional story Mr. Dugan. What fucked up shit did you tell your non-existent ex before she left you with the fictional kids just in the nick of time to make it impossible for you to meet Mr. Daddillac?

Mr. Ilbby or Mr. Libby or whatever, Mr. Dugan’s best feature is the fact that he escalates things. It makes his threads entertaining. Besides, this whole thread is a story about escalating things unnecessarily. I’m confident that it’s fiction, just like his fictional wife (or is it ex-wife?) and kids. But it’s still entertaining. Now that I’ve explained things all that is left to say is “you’re welcome”

Would the dead celebs be like zombies walking around going “brains, braaaains!”? If so, I don’t think it matter who you bring, as long as they don’t eat your brain. Or would they be vampires. Vampires might be cool, as long as they aren’t douche nozzle Twilight vampires. I could hang with a Nosferatu as long as he doesn’t drink any blood during the visit. Also, Charlie Sheen and Bill Clinton are alive. Though Sheen may be a vampire. Now that I’ve clarified things all I have to say is “you’re welcome”.

Mr. Dugan see: “48-Cowboy, do you have a purpose on this board besides trolling? Just curious.” You tell him RickiBoi. I mean really...the nerve of the guy questioning you when you have FOUR purposes on the board: 1) Manufacturing a fictional wife and children that you discuss endlessly and use to get out of fights. 2) Writing detailed descriptions of your home club that are so vivid everybody knows exactly where it is. The second part of this purpose is insisting that it totally normal when you refuse to name said club in response to a direct question. 3) Making up bullshit tough guy stories about text wars with stripper boyfriends. 4) Inspiring a veritable zoo of creatures to post on this board. I mean really, they probably go from A to Z. We’ve got Zack the Zebra - has an Armadillo or an Aardvark posted here? Normally I don’t like to defend you RickiBoi, but I felt I had to be truthful regarding your purposes on the board. You’re welcome.

Come on Mr. Ishmael, guys ripping on each other for laughs is a time honored tradition. Most of the time it’s just for laughs. Then you meet some weirdo that has done something out of bounds, like claim to have a wife and kids when he doesn’t or claim to incessantly drive drunk or ____ (fill in the blank with some other example of Dugan’s douche behavior). Then you mean it. You still get some laughs because what would be the point of interacting with a douche except to get some laughs. You’re welcome

What you must understand Ms. Spice is that Mr. Dugan is a truly warped individual. After all, what kind of weirdo would lie about having a wife...oops, now she’s an ex now she’s not...and children. When I started reading this site there was a weirdo named Mr. Dougster that obsessively poked at Mr. Dugan. I think Mr. Dougster’s actions were a bit over the top but he did catalyze some hilarious threads where he’d just post “LOL” and Mr. Dugan would freak out and reply with an incoherent 8000 word reply. Funny shit!

You must understand Mr. 25 that Mr. Dugan is a twisted individual that has been definitely been shown to be the creator of a fictional wife and fictional children. It is hardly surprising that he would lie about other things.

^ Those would be sensible words if you didn’t believe that Mr. 25 was Jewish. And they would be reasonable words if the anti-Semitic sock puppets that I’ve been told you run (in PMs) did not exist. But I have a hard time believing the words of a guy that invented a fictional wife and children to discuss on a titty bar web site. We see through you Mr. Dugan.

Since Mr. Microdong wants to change the subject let’s discuss the animals likely to comprise the Microdong posse. Since Mr. Dugan has a posse that comprises (if I recall correctly) a lion, a gator, a cheesestick, and a barnacle I think the microdong posse should include a bunny rabbit, a sloth, a lizard, and a basket of Olive Garden breadsticks. What say you all?

We’re not still whining RickiBoi. We just find you very entertaining! Do you see Mr. Microdong making up stories about his fictional wife and children? Do you see Mr Shadow doing that? Do you see Mr. Mark doing that? Nope...that’s all you. You’re the only guy on here to create a fictional family just so you can create a demented pervert/devoted family man persona. And that’s some funny shit. Why would we let that go? Now tell us some more totally plausible stories about your life! I’m going to make a bog of popcorn 🍿

You have to understand this Mr. Microdong: Mr. Dugan is an asshole and he is easy to bait into saying funny shit. Think about this: Is there an entire zoo’s worth of satirical tiny dick animal accounts that expose your foibles? No. Why is that? Well, as near as I can tell the only interesting things you have to say is that you have a tiny dick. And that’s right there in the name. If you want to get as much attention as Mr. Dugan you can do three things: 1. Act like you know everything. 2. Create a fake tough guy persona. 3. Create a fictional wife and kids. If you do that we’ll be seeing posts from your best bud, the tiny dick bunny, in no time flat. You’re welcome!

I have one piece of advice when planning a trip to Rochester NY: decide to go somewhere else. You’re welcome!

^ Ms. Club Lust, you left out the part where meemaw Dugan was a demented pervert. No doubt that explains Mr. Dugan’s life issues.

How does this thread not have 100 posts yet. The rate of new posts is good, but not up to my expectations given the levels of drama. I mean really, it has it ALL: Mr. Microdong appears defending defending Mr. Dugan. I don’t know much about Mr. Microdong but I’ll just say that having Mr. Dugan’s back is unwise. The Dugan character is an asshole. Mr. Skibum is trying to be the conscience of TUSCL. Although laudable, Mr. Skibum’s assertion that we shouldn’t bring up kids and significant others while we’re hurling insults on the playground is undermined by the fact that Mrs. Dugan and the rug rats are fictional creations of a demented mind. Aaaand we have the main event... Mr. Daddillac vs. Mr. Dugan! Get out your popcorn. I do disagree with Mr. Daddillac one one thing. We don’t know if the guy behind Mr. Dugan is an asshose. The Dugan character is an asshole. But the Dugan character’s creator could be some guy pulling an Andy Kaufman style performance art. On the other hand, a guy that creates a fictional asshole character on a titty club web site is probably an asshole. I bet he’s a weirdo loser that drives a one-eyed Mercury Bobcat that can’t get sex unless he pays for it. That’s just a bet. I’m only 30 or 40% sure about the Bobcat driving. But I’m 99.9% sure there was never a wife and there aren’t any kids. And no Mr. Skibum I am not insulting Mr. Dugan’s wife or kids...BECAUSE THEY DON’T EXIST!!! Please resume your regularly scheduled bickering. It is fucking fun as shit.

Mr. Microdong, some point. I think Mr. Daddillac knows that “Mrs. Dugan” and the little Dugan rug rats simply don’t exist. Isn’t it convenient that he suddenly has sole custody of the fictional children when threatened. A normal person would just say “you kidding, right? This is a dumbass titty club website and you’re going to fight me because I talked smack about you? GTFO!” Did The Dugan character responds that way? No. He invented an excuse. No way that shit is true.

Normally I would agree with Mr. Skibum on this. Keep children and significant other out of the online pileup. But in this case it isn’t dickish because - and I can’t stress this enough - Mr. Dugan’s wife and kids are fictional. I suspected this to be the case for some time but the Jacksonville thread clinched it. Nobody says “you know that Flaubert guy was an asshole for talking smack about that Emma Bovary.” M. Flaubert may have been a literary realist but people did realize that Emma Bovary was a fictional cheating whore, not a real one! To review, Mr. Daddillac would be an asshole if he was talking smack about a real person’s real wife and/or children. But the Dugan character is a fictional construct with a fictional estranged wife and sole custody of fictional children. It is no more dickish for Mr. Daddillac to talk smack about them than it is for him to talk smack about the Joker in a Batman movie. This is good shit. I’m going to get some popcorn for Mr. Dugan’s inevitable response. Keep up the good work (but avoid talking smack about real wives and real children because that’s a dick move) Some deal here

This shit is comedy gold! Tune our of TUSCL for a little while and Mr. Dugan’s fictional wife has left him with sole fictional custody of his fictional kids. The best part is how Mr. Dugan’s fictional responsibilities keep him from being a badass street fighting man. Makes me wonder how many fictional trips Mr. Dugan will describe in the near future. Seems like he’s painted himself into a corner regarding future activities of the Dugan character. Of course, he could always tell the story of how he took a fictional cross-country but that’s ok because he left some pop tarts and toaster pizzas out to keep his fictional children fed!

Mr. Anderson, many strip clubs have aluminum roofs specially designed to keep out the CIA mind control beams. If you go to the club you will be able to remove your tin foil hat safely and see some boobies. It’s win-win for Mr. Anderson so you should try it. You’re welcome!

You seriously need to play Danke Schoen when you dance. Also, Sinatra’s High Hopes would also be cool.

Since Mr. OSU asked nice I’ll tell him why I’m constantly baiting Mr. Dugan and Mr. Skibum: they both say funny shit when they’re baited. Mr. Dugan is especially ass-clowny so I get the lulz by baiting him. You also forgot Mr. Mark. That guy is comedy gold so baiting him is good for a laugh. I seldom bait you because you’re not that funny. But you seem like the kind of guy who might be triggered by allegations that you want to suck Mr. San Jose’s cock. After all, you seems like a closet case. Embrace your inner self and become Big Gay OSU. It’ll make you happier! You’re welcome!

Okay, you all saw Mr. OSU declare that he wants to bone me. I don’t care if Mr. OSU is gay or bi. But he better keep his lil’ bone in his pants is he’s around me. I don’t swing that way and I’ll kick his ass if he whips his bone out near me. Of course, I’m sure his bone is so small that I wouldn’t even notice if he whipped this out. Stick to begging Mr. San Jose to suck your tiny lil’ wee wee and give up on your weird obsession with yours truly. You’re welcome.

Mr. San Jose, seems like certain people on here, like Mr. OSU are obsessed with you. I think this is because they want to suck your cock. Or maybe they want you to suck their cocks. Why don’t you clarify once and for all whether you swing that way. For the record, would you like to have some sort of cocksucking encounter with Mr. OSU?