Comments by DoctorPhil. (page 5)

Like many posters, you’re missing the point Mr. Savage. Mr. Mark said everything about covid was a lie. Who lied? The government. Who was in charge of the government when the lies started? Mr. Donald John “Orange Pipehitter” Trump. All your rambling about “freedom and individual rights” is irrelevant in the context of this thread. This is Mr. Mark’s thread about the government TAKING AWAY your freedom and individual rights. He just didn’t name the person at the top of the government when the lies began. I did! Seems like only a total dumbass would vote for the guy who was in charge of the government when they lying began. I’m sure your smart enough not to do that. Right?

By the way, for those of you who don’t know what a pipehitter is: https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Pipehitter Enjoy!

Wait wait… Mr. Mark, you think covid policy was totally based on lies? Let’s assume, for the sake of argument, that you’re correct. It was all lies. Now who told those lies first. If I remember correctly there was this Orange Man in the presidency at the time. Yes, that’s right, his name was Mr. Donald John “Pipehitter” Trump. So you’re saying Orange Man lied? Whoa. That’s some pretty harsh allegations right there. Did you know that old Orange Pipehitter is also alleging that he won the election and the other dude - a certain Mr. Joseph Robinette “Smells like Old Spice” Biden - stole the election. But here’s the crazy thing: he wasn’t able to prove any of his allegations. Even though he appointed a lot of judges. Isn’t that crazy! His own judges decided he was a loser. Now that you say old Orange Pipehitter lied about covid I’m going to suggest something else: maybe he’s just a big fibber and he’s fooling all the hoi polloi that believe in him. Discuss. As always, you’re welcome!

Thanks for pointing me to that thread Mr. Dixie. Surprisingly, most of you perverts seem to agree that American’s are dumbasses and China will dominate the world. Good to know. Hope you’re learning Mandarin!

They are, and Miss Gǔ Àilíng is helping China kick America’s ass! Not to mention the Russian chick with the heart medicine. America sure in in decline…

You know, somehow a rick saying something as innocent as “watch more Fozzy” makes me feel a bit guilty about stirring the pot with my Eileen Gu question. Not guilty enough to put my popcorn back. But still, you have to respect a muppet-loving guy pretending to be a lion. It occurs to me that watching more Fozzy might help Mr. Dugan’s mental health. Maybe he’d stop discussing his pretend family on a titty club website. Just sayin

And if you’re worried about covid or STD just make a Gretamelon. I hear that Mr. Skibum has a good old time rage fucking Gretamelon. Only danger in the Gretamelon loving is that Sven, Miss Greta Tintin Eleonora Ernman “Geranimo” Thunberg’s 2 meter tall boyfriend, finds out and kicks your ass. His carbon footprint is small but the foot he’ll put in your ass is big.

Genuine question for Mr. Shadow: why are you asking the question? Seems to me that this is a perfect setup to get the pussies who were so bothered by wearing a mask in the grocery store to rant about covid. Not that there’s anything wrong with stirring the pot. It’s good for shits and giggles. But you’re generally not the pot-stirring kind. The question isn’t even logical. #2 focuses on all STDs but #1 only focuses on covid. You can get other DFK diseases. What if you DFK some chick that Frenched Mr. Dugan the day before? If that was the case, there is 98% chance Dugan gave her some kind of worms he picked up from a homosexual encounter with one of the other members of the Rick brigade Besides, omicron is quite transmissible. Probably get that before you actually swap spit. Hell, even the Dugan worms might leap out and attack you across the room. Seriously though, we know the risk factors for covid. If a person cares about spreading covid they might indulge but then wear an N95 mask elsewhere for a bit. But that would interfere with the desire of some to be a Typhoid Mary douche so said Typhoid Mary’s gonna do what they gonna do. Just remember to stock up on ivermectin. Doesn’t do shit for covid but I suspect it will be effective for the coming Dugan worm pandemic. You’re welcome!

Why the sudden switch to referring to Miss Greta Tintin Eleonora Ernman “Ringo” Thunberg as a teenager. While technically correct since 19 is teen, emphasizing the teen part makes the lover of Gretamelon (aka Mr. Skibum) seem like a sicko. If you imply that Mr. Skibum is a sicko he might be insulted. That might prompt him to…I dunno…fill out some random divorce paperwork incorrectly. Of course, he probably does that without being insulted. I’m not sure what an insulted Mr. Skibum does… Wait, he’ll make a new melon with a picture of your face on it and do unspeakable things. Yeah…that’s the ticket.

But you have to promise not to use a photo of Miss Greta Tintin Eleonora Ernman “Scrubslayer” Thunberg. That’s Mr. Skibum’s jam and you don’t want to explore the dark shit that goes on in that guy’s head. You’re welcome!

Mr. Scrub, you show profound signs of rage. In reply to Ms. Spice’s photo of you you said: “did you get a reason to leave your fucking retirement center, OLD MAN? FUCK YOU, FUCK YOURSELF, FUCK ALL THAT IS HOLY TO YOU and you need to have your asshole fucking removed from your body while in prison and FUCKED HARD” I think you need to find ways to calm yourself. Have you considered cutting a hole in a melon, taping a face to it, and then pretending that you’re facefucking the person whose photo you’ve taped to the melon?

Mr. Tetradon, I fairly certain that Miss Greta Tintin Eleonora Ernman “Zaphod” Thunberg has a boyfriend named Sven who is 2 meters tall (6’ 7” for the metric-challenged). Sven has the following (mostly) English-language catch phrase “I have a small carbon footprint, ja, but you will have a large Sven footprint in your ass if you disrespect my girlfriend, ja!” Let’s tell him about Mr. Skibum’s unholy love for Gretamelon. Trust me. Wackiness will ensue. Of course, by wackiness I mean “Mr. Skibum will have a Swedish foot up his ass”. But he’ll also have lots of warning because Sven will use a low-carbon means to hunt down Mr. Skibum. You know, sailboat, solar-powered airplane, something like that. Like I said: wackiness!

^ I’m sure Mr. Dugan’s fictional wife voted for Trump. Well, Mr. Dugan tried to show up to vote a second time wearing a dress. They told him to go away and he flashed his teeny tiny meat at them. His fictional kids are too young to vote. Plus, his wife and kids are all fictional so none are actually able to vote. But that ain’t gonna stop Mr. Dugan from showing up at the polls in Cousinlover county wearing short pants and a beanie with a propellor on top. He’ll claim to be lil’ Dicky Dugan, son of Mr. Richard Dugan.

You people sure as fuck have issues with the trannies. Is it the chicks with dicks thing or are you mostly afraid of the post-op trannies? Anyway, there are many ways to fuck with people that are far funnier. He could nominate Anita Hill but ask her to wear special robes that say “Have I told you about how much Clarence likes guys with big dicks?” But Ms. Hill is probably too old. I think he should put Ms. Greta Tintin Eleonora Ernman “HoodooMama” Thunberg on the court. So she is not American. So what? I think she’d give some folks on here such a rage boner that their dicks would pop off. And that would be funny!

RickiBoi sez => “ I've never been able to make the warehouse clubs work for us. I end up throwing too much food away because I had to buy quantities that were more than we could finish before they went bad.” That’s because fictional family members don’t eat. If you cook a meal for the wife and two dugan rug rats but none of them exist that food is going to go to waste. I hope you found this explanation helpful. You’re welcome!

I’m sure Mr. Dugan exposes his itsy bitsy meat in all the Walmarts he visits, wherever they may be.

Yes indeed Mr. Cash. When Mr. Dugan lived with his fictional NYC family he would routinely travel to Poughkeepsie to expose his meat in the Walmart.

Did you know that the blooming onion is a crime against nature?

Mr. Anderson, I’d like to explain something to you: Facebook’s business model is selling turd sandwiches. A special kind of turd sandwich where the filling is shit and the bread is also shit. So my question is this: why are you complaining about a place that is selling turd sandwiches. I have a solution for you: don’t buy into their shit. That means that you should not use Facebook. Which is easy for you because they keep kicking you off. It is easy for me because Facebook is shit and, when I look at a turd-filled swimming pool like Facebook, I walk away. Apparently you want to jump in and swim with the turds. Phil sez: stop swimming in the turd water you dumbass! You should send the Facebook people a thank you note for banning you and then you should stop trying to get back on. I hope this helps you live a happier life. You’re welcome!

RickiBoi said “Twobits do I really need to state the obvious difference between the two? 😏” Ooh…ooh…I know the answer to this. The lion guy shows up periodically for a laugh and says something silly that is an obvious joke whereas Mr. Dugan is on here 24/7 making up stories about his fictional family. Wait…that can’t be it. I mean really, it kind of makes the lion guy seem like he is just telling a joke and like RickiBoi is kind of a sociopathic asshole. Nope…just checked…the lion guy is funny and Mr. Dugan is indeed a douchebag. I will now accept my gold star.

did i ever tell u people about how my pappy introduced mr loaf to jim stinerson?

Relax Mr. Icee. Just ignore the putative Mr. Doug. If he keeps posting about you 20 times a day then it may be Mr. Doug. You’re welcome!

Mr. OSU said “ Take your homo posts to a queer forum, faggot!” Mr. OSU doth protest too much, methinks.

For a moment there I thought Dougster was back. If there was ever a guy that needed to learn that less is more it was Mr. Doug. Mr. Dugan is a serious douche but posting Dugan slams every day, as Mr. Doug did, is a bit much. Dr. Phil’s advice: always leave ‘em wanting more. You’re welcome!

==> RickiBoi sez “ Shush now and behave yourself Phil. The grownups were talking.” They why are you letting yourself get fished in by Mr. Kent’s thread? Do you think that your Cousinlover county edumacatshun is sufficient to refute Mr. Kent’s point. Last I heard the only things that were going on in your neck of the woods was meth labs and fuckin’ plus-sized Ron DeSantis sex dolls. Leave the sophisticated discussions to people who actually went to real universities, not the Kousinlover Kounty Kommunity Kolledge (motto: the xtra K and xtra d make the difference)