tuscl

Who'd You Rather: Salma Hayek vs. Denise Richards

AnonymousJim
Scanning the room from the back
Wednesday, October 16, 2019 7:37 PM
Why wait for the most anticipated matchup of the second round? Let's kick things off in the Celebrity Bracket with what promises to be a loin-stirring contest between two 90's superbabes. --- Celebrity Bracket: Salma HAYEK vs. Denise RICHARDS --- Salma HAYEK 36C-24-36 ROUND 1: Def. Jenny McCARTHY, 27-4, [view link] PIC 1: [view link] PIC 2: [view link] CLIP 1: (sexy dancing) [view link] CLIP 2: (kinda sexy dancing) [view link] --- Many have declared Hayek the favorite to win the whole contest in addition to the most beautiful woman of our generation, but let's not get ahead of ourselves: Hayek couldn't keep anti-vaxxer Jenny McCarthy from getting four votes, and while she did accumulate a bracket-high 27 tallies in the first round, even Vicca in the model bracket had a larger percentage-share victory. That's not to say Hayek isn't just getting warmed up. She's definitely still hot at 52, as a viral Instagram post this week proved. But someone said of the first round, "Hype means nothing on TUSCL," and Richards was a crowd-pleaser in the opening round. This may be a tougher choice than some think. --- Denise RICHARDS 34C-24-34 ROUND 1: Def. Pamela ANDERSON, 20-8, [view link] PIC 1: [view link] PIC 2: [view link] CLIP 1: (softcore-like mainstream scene) [view link] CLIP 2: (visible nips at the pool) [view link] --- Richards may have gotten the bracket's most difficult draw: When you put her, Pamela Anderson and Hayek in the same group, you might have the three sexiest actresses of the 90's. Nonethless, Richards dispatched Anderson easily in the first round and now faces the much-hyped Hayek. It's easy to say Hayek made better life choices, including not starring in one of the worst of the Bond movies and marrying one of the world's richest men instead of Charlie Sheen. But we're not judging life choices, we're playing "Who'd You Rather" when it comes to these women in their prime, which is likely "Wild Things" for Richards. No one will argue with picking Richards in her prime. Not one bit. --- It's the only matchup of the second round between two competitors who had no 'Neither' votes in their first-round matchups. They were two of the top-three vote-getters in the first round, too. If we had them solve this battle by jello wrestling, we could put it on pay-per-view and make hundreds of millions. But instead of that, you guys get to decide. What a privilege you get being on TUSCL, no? Let the battle begin! HAYEK or RICHARDS

54 comments

  • Ferdinx
    •
    5 years ago
    Hayek, no question.
  • Muddy
    •
    5 years ago
    Fuck I don’t know. I’ll go with Richards.
  • pistola
    •
    5 years ago
    Salma
  • Cashman1234
    •
    5 years ago
    Hayek is the winner. Without a doubt.
  • rh48hr
    •
    5 years ago
    Hayek is the choice. Richards wins most matchups but not this one in my book.
  • Corvus
    •
    5 years ago
    Hayek, it's not even close IMO
  • rl27
    •
    5 years ago
    Richards
  • JamesSD
    •
    5 years ago
    Hayek
  • JAprufrock
    •
    5 years ago
    Salma.
  • PaulDrake
    •
    5 years ago
    Richards
  • DeclineToState
    •
    5 years ago
    Hayek
  • Fun_Loving_Fella
    •
    5 years ago
    Denise
  • Call.Me.Ishmael
    •
    5 years ago
    Salma.
  • yahtzee74
    •
    5 years ago
    Richards
  • chimera422
    •
    5 years ago
    Salma
  • wallanon
    •
    5 years ago
    HAYEK Peak Denise Richards was a hottie for sure, and her goodies locked down an all time monger. But Salma plateaued as a permanent hottie to go with her HOF status as an international trophy wife.
  • bang69
    •
    5 years ago
    Both
  • IHearVoices
    •
    5 years ago
    Salma, without question.
  • twentyfive
    •
    5 years ago
    As much as I don’t care to lust after hotties that you never see in public and are unobtainable these two are the epitome of that commercial >sometimes you feel like a nut (Salma) other times you don’t ( Denise) < I’d find it near impossible to pick between them I’d love to do a threesome with both.
  • Warrior15
    •
    5 years ago
    Salma Hayek
  • prevert
    •
    5 years ago
    Richards. Love that pouty face.
  • Longball300
    •
    5 years ago
    Although I prefer Denise's body I can't resist Salma's overall sexiness..... Hayek
  • ATACdawg
    •
    5 years ago
    Denise is really sexy, but if I had to choose one....... Salma Hayek, hands down! 😛😍🥰
  • grand1511
    •
    5 years ago
    Hayek
  • DrStab
    •
    5 years ago
    Salma is now a Class A MILF. I’ll take her. Denise is probably run down a bit after her time with Sheen.
  • skibum609
    •
    5 years ago
    Denise.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    5 years ago
    It appears Denise has fake tits which def brings her down a notch for me Prefer Hayek and her natural bod
  • RTP
    •
    5 years ago
    Salma Hayek. The only time I will vote is when Salma is involved.
  • datinman
    •
    5 years ago
    Hayek, but Richards would have taken most other match ups. I know tastes vary, but how could this possibly be a highest vs lowest seed match? Anyway, I have been enjoying this and appreciate all your work.
  • AnonymousJim
    •
    5 years ago
    @Justin: Without giving any seedings away, consider the other Celebrity Bracket competitors remaining and the fact we only had one seed-wise upset in the first round: Donna D'ERRICO Carmen ELECTRA Marisa MILLER Rebecca ROMIJN Kiana TOM Kate UPTON You can put them in just about any order and not go wrong.
  • datinman
    •
    5 years ago
    Valid point, but man, Denise at her prime was just so hot.
  • TFP
    •
    5 years ago
    Salma Hayek.
  • TFP
    •
    5 years ago
    @Papi Chulo she (Denise Richards) got rid of the fake tits a while back.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    5 years ago
    ^ I wonder what they make look like now - pretty-sure not as nice as Salma's
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    5 years ago
    Salma Hayek vs. Denise Richards ? Always liked both of those two. So maybe have to divide into odd nights and even nights. :) :) :) SJG
  • mjx01
    •
    5 years ago
    Richards
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    5 years ago
  • anthony6613
    •
    5 years ago
    Selma
  • TheeOSU
    •
    5 years ago
    Why do I have to choose, I'll take both! :D
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    5 years ago
    ^^^^^^ Hey, I already posted that answer! SJG
  • bullzeye
    •
    5 years ago
    Salma
  • Warrior15
    •
    5 years ago
    Papi, Salma has a movie coming out in a couple of months. She is heavier, but she still looks good.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    5 years ago
    ^ means her boobs are probably bigger
  • seawa
    •
    5 years ago
    Richards
  • Fun_Loving_Fella
    •
    5 years ago
    There’s a lot of side chatter on this one. AnonymousJim doesn’t like side chatter
  • AnonymousJim
    •
    5 years ago
    Thanks, @Fun_Loving_Fella. It both makes counting the votes difficult and distracts from the point. A refresher course on a few things about the "Who'd You Rather" game: 1. We are evaluating the women at the finest they've been in their lives, whatever you consider that to be. Maybe they've gained weight, lost weight or changed their boobs. That's valid to discuss, no doubt. But still, vote based on what you consider them to have been when they were at their best. This was particularly important with, say, Jenna Jameson, who's gone downhill quite a bit since her prime. Conversation about body changes isn't necessarily immaterial, but it shouldn't be what you're basing your vote off of. This is about creating a timeless fantasy, not dealing with realities. I fear we lose sight of that when we start getting into discussion about who's done what. 2. In the first round, we gave you the option to say 'Neither' if neither of the ladies flipped your lid and you actually wouldn't rather with either one. However, since we've moved onto the second round, we've removed that option. 3. 'Both' has never been an option, as it would be what everyone picks all the time and would destroy any point of the bracket, not to mention, it creates a bunch of immaterial and useless comments I have to account for separately when reconciling vote counts. Yes, we'd have an orgy with all 64 girls at once if we could. That gives us zero data whatsoever as to who, and moreso what, we consider "hotter," which IS the point. The choice is difficult and you can only choose one. It's supposed to be difficult. That's both the fun and the point. I don't like being the wet blanket, but I also feel the need to curate this a little to keep things from going off the rails. I mean, yeah, I expect trolls and whatnot here and there. It is TUSCL after all. But you guys have been really good about playing the game thus far and I think it's drawn enough interest that we want to see it played to completion now. I know this is imperfect and that popular threads create conversation. Without a better way to vote than just message board posts, it will be imperfect. But try and understand the point and not derail things from that. All I ask. Thanks.
  • AnonymousJim
    •
    5 years ago
    Thought: I'd totally be OK with someone starting the occasional separate, non-voting thread to talk about the ladies mentioned or, dare I say, even talk about the vote itself. Someone created one about nipples based off Stacy Burke; I thought that was cool. If anything, that keeps the voting thread more clear so I don't have to try and figure out who's got multiple comments, who's truly voting and who's just discussing, etc. Some of it is my want for clear logistics. 'Tis all.
  • reverendhornibastard
    •
    5 years ago
    I couldn’t decide between Salma and Denise, so I called a couple of world renown experts on everything to solicit their views. Loco on Ice admitted that he had fucked them both (but he was the caboose on a very long train that he and 83 other hoods ran on Denise - so he only got very sloppy 83rds), but overall he wasn’t too impressed with either one of them because of their grotesque lack of ink. I also consulted with SJG who claimed to have dated both ladies but refused to fuck them because he felt their commercial appeal and excessive wealth were an affront to his sense of taste, decency and balance in the world. And to top it all, they both refused to blow him in the backseat of his luxurious Prius while he pontificated about Gnosticism and Kale enemas. I never had the gumption to argue with experts.
  • Hank Moody
    •
    5 years ago
    Hayek
  • AnonymousJim
    •
    5 years ago
    Let's officially close up shop and mercifully put this thread out of its misery. I will file one more vote for Hayek. HAYEK: 28 RICHARDS: 9 ̶B̶o̶t̶h̶,̶ ̶o̶r̶ ̶s̶o̶m̶e̶ ̶v̶a̶r̶i̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶r̶e̶o̶f̶:̶ ̶5̶ [sigh] ̶B̶r̶a̶c̶k̶e̶t̶ ̶t̶a̶l̶k̶:̶ ̶3̶ ̶S̶i̶d̶e̶ ̶c̶h̶a̶t̶t̶e̶r̶:̶ ̶3̶ ̶R̶i̶c̶h̶a̶r̶d̶s̶'̶ ̶b̶o̶o̶b̶s̶:̶ ̶2̶ ̶H̶a̶y̶e̶k̶'̶s̶ ̶f̶i̶l̶m̶ ̶c̶a̶r̶e̶e̶r̶:̶ ̶1̶ ̶H̶a̶y̶e̶k̶'̶s̶ ̶b̶o̶o̶b̶s̶:̶ ̶1̶ ̶R̶a̶m̶b̶l̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶p̶o̶s̶t̶e̶r̶-̶o̶n̶-̶p̶o̶s̶t̶e̶r̶ ̶c̶r̶i̶m̶e̶:̶ ̶1̶ Hayek not only wins but breaks her own mark for top number of votes in a matchup (27 from the first round). The 37 overall votes equals Michaels/Jameson for largest turnout. The 19-vote win is the third-largest margin of victory thus far behind Hayek over McCarthy (23) and Nikki Fritz over Sara Suzanne Brown (20), both in the first round. The next-highest is Vicca over Kelly Trump, also in the first round, at 16. Hayek may not be invincible, but she has certainly been impressive. I'm going to hold off on a new poll because it's late and I'm tired. We'll probably post one tomorrow night.
  • Clubber
    •
    5 years ago
    AND, Salma doesn't have age on her side. Doesn't matter! One of the hottest woman walking this earth!
  • joatmon
    •
    5 years ago
    This one is tough, but I will go with Denise Richards
  • Phandy
    •
    5 years ago
    Hayek. Easy
  • AnonymousJim
    •
    5 years ago
    Guys. Thread's closed. Stop posting in it. You're pushing the active vote further down the board.
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