I'm a little socially awkward. Probably on some spectrum or something. But it didn't have a name in the 80's.... :)
Anyway, the last thing I want to do is disrespect someone or be rude. But, at a club, I've had several times where someone comes up to me to talk or offer dances whatever, and I just want them to leave. But they hover, and keep someone else from coming over. Just earlier tonight I had to leave a place because I couldn't shake someone I didn't like.
How do I say "get lost please"?
This is why I always preferred massage parlors (MPs) to strip clubs when they were available pre-2010. You would go into a massage parlor, point at the woman you wanted, and that was it. There was no socialization or chit-chat with different women many of whom aren't your type and you want to decline. I don't like strip clubs precisely because of this unpleasant socialization aspect. But massage parlors got shut down in the US around 2010, to my great frustration.
Thanks, but no thanks
Can you tell that dancer over there i want a dance from her
"Thanks for stopping by to say 'hi,' but I'm not looking to get a dance right now."
Even the hottest dancers get rejected from time to time. I just say I’m chilling and watching the stage right now. They get the hint, you aren’t being rude, just giving them the green light to move on to the next customer.
Look buddy. I appreciate the interest, but I am not into dudes.
Say "Right Now, I Just Wanna Be By Myself", "I'm Just Checkin' Things Out Right Now", "Thanks, But I'm Still Deciding What I Want", "I'll Let You Know When/If I'm Ready", ' "I'm Just Chillin' By Myself Right Now, But I Plan On Pickin' Somebody If & When I'm Ready For Conversation"
If She's Hot & U Want Her, Bully & Spide Her. Like, "You Think You Can Give Me Some Floor Perks, Relaxing Chill Vibe Conversation, Extras, Or Is OTC Possible?" Remember, You Don't Wanna Waste Your Time, If She's Gonna Use You, Not Really Like You Or Hustle You. Let Her Know Your Lookin' For Someone You Can Talk With Unconditionally Whether You Tip Or Not & Your Lookin' For Da' Right $Stripper! You Be The Boss, & You Be The Bully For What You Want, & Make Sure Both Of You Be Happy For What You Want!!!!!!! If She Is A Boss Baby, She Will Make Sure You Will Be Satisfied!
' ✅ 7777777
Be polite the first time. No thank you. The second time. If I want to sit and chat or have a dance with you, I will come to find you. The third time. I am not attracted to you, please leave me alone. The 4th time? I dunno maybe something like please don't breed, the world has too much you already.
My responses are pretty close to ski's. No thank you is the first and second response. This gets rid of most of the girls who thought I was just shy. Thanks for stopping by, nice to meet you, have a nice day is usually 3rd. That gets rid of the girls who are just persistent. It's pretty rare she still thinks she can make money off of me at that point. Thanks, but you're not my type or simply I'm not interested, bye is enough to get rid of all but the most stubborn. If she's still refuses to leave I'll start being a dick. It very, very rarely comes to that.
I really wouldn't stress too much about it. If you're even aware that your actions could be considered rude or disrespectful, you've likely cleared the bar for your obligations in the strip club.
It's the strippers job to approach and flirt a little, maybe even be a little persistent to bring awkward guys out of their shells. It's part of the customers obligation to be friendly in response. But, It's also her job to take rejection with a degree of grace. If she fails to honor her side of the obligations, the social contract is void and I'm no longer obligated to be friendly.
Sorry honey, no fatties you exceed the weight limit for this ride.
First time, no but thank you. The second time, "I'm not going to be buying anything for a while, but I appreciate you asking." The third time, "Sorry but I just don't like you."
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It's been a long time since I got to the 3rd response. By that point, they have revealed themselves as desperate and aggressive and tend to react badly. Too bad. Fear of confrontation is not a winning mindset when dealing with misbehaving strippers.
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One key is to keep girls you aren't interested in from settling in to begin with. When a girl who I don't like asks if I mind if she sits down or if I want some company, I respond with "Tbh I'm not really looking for company at the moment, but thank you for coming by." IME this nips a lot of problems in the bud. I don't really care if she is offended or not because I don't like her anyway.
When dancers don't move on after a polite "no thanks", they are only interested in what they, not anyone else, wants. Assholes are always finding new ways to be assholes. If you can, it's best to avoid clubs that are OK with strippers/staff who are assholes to customers. Often the goal of asshole strippers is to goad you into saying something nasty or blunt, so she can claim to security you need to be thrown out. The best approach I've found is "I'm waiting for someone else". Here is a possible dialog: Me: No thanks. Her: Why not, what's wrong with me? Me: I'm waiting for someone else. Her: Who? I'll go get her for you. Me: I can't remember her name. Her: What does she look like? Me: She's Moldovan. Her: What? Nobody who works here is that. Me: She told me she was. Her: When was that? Me: I can't remember exactly. Her: She's not here today. Me: She told me she always works Thursdays, shell probably show up soon. Are you a cop? You sure ask a lot of questions.
In the worst cases, she may come back later and confront you because you got dances from dancers who clearly were not Moldovan. You can claim they all are. Tell her it's racist to think there are no black people in Moldova. Assholes sometimes respect it when mere amateurs display some competence in passive aggressive asshole dialog.
I've had dialogues like @ilbbaicnl has had.
So I recommend what Dolfan has said. Stick with simple, "No; No Thanks; Not now". No need to justify or explain why.
Some mongers hate the idea of rejection tips, but I don't mind giving a dancer a small tip and saying "Thanks for stopping by, I'm gonna hold off on dances for now, and it was a pleasure talking with you."
For a stage 5 clinger, there's always this. Stand up from the table and say, "I've got to make a phone call. It was nice talking to you."
Saying "not now" encourages them to come back and try again later. I'm skeptical that tipping them to leave is a good idea. Seems like leaving cheese out for the rats, and hoping they'll be grateful and leave.
I’ve been saying this for years “what kind of supposedly grown man gets intimidated by a girl in her underwear”
Should be a no brainer, it’s easy enough to say no thank you, past that if she’s still there you’re allowed to ignore her presence.
If the girls just won't leave, I like to fondle her tits. She doesn't like guys playing with her tits for free, so she leaves.
“I’m looking for someone else” works for me. It doesn’t imply that there’s anything wrong with her. There have also been many occasions when I’ve passed on a girl, only to later realize that she was the best thing going that night. In this case I walk up to her and say “I’m ready - let’s go”. I never get any objection.
Brevity is key to not give her an angle to keep asking, though it’s more about how you say it rather than what you say. “Thanks, I’m good” repeated as necessary to continuing questions has always worked for me. If I’ve talked to them I tip according to how long the conversation was and how much I enjoyed it.
I avoid things like not now, or maybe later. I also avoid the "I'm waiting for someone else" excuse when I'm not interested, even if I do happen to be waiting for another dancer. I don't want to give her the impression my lack of interest is temporary or circumstantial when that's not the case. Her being fat, ugly, smelly, mean, arrogant, entitled, or whatever made me disinterested is a persistent condition. There's no need to repeat the interaction, I'm still not gonna be interested. If you send mixed signals, she's likely to get bolder on subsequent tries and you'll find yourself having to be a dick.
I don't do rejection tips. I've caved before, but as should be obvious it just leads to more bad behavior. She'll be right back 20 minutes later, or the next time I come to the club. All the other bottom tier girls see it works and they'll all take their turn too. You'll attract more and more desperate, lazy, and or unattractive strippers and they'll get bolder and more entitled with every interaction.
Sure, it's only a few bucks and a few minutes each but every dollar in her purse is one that doesn't go into a more deserving stripper's bag and every minute I spend with an ugly bitch is one I don't get to spend with a cutie. Not only does it erode my experience for each individual visit, over the long term I feel like I'm contributing to more ugly bitches and less hot ones in the club making the next visit just a little shittier for me and my fellow clubbers.
' 👽_ ' ' ' ' ' ' I Will Ask Her If She Can ' Scratch Mi Back Or Give A Mini Hand & Body Message. If She Can't For Whatever Reason, Atleast She Knows A Select Real Reason Why I Didn't Go Further With Her. Ideally, Check For Stuff You Like!
"It's the strippers job to approach and flirt a little" @ Dol, you are preaching to the choir, but I just don't see that IME
Really just a politely delivered "I'm not interested" should suffice but as others have pointed out don't qualify it if you don't mean it: a lot will not, but "right now" give her an opening to try again later.
The whole her vs. other dancers things gets messy too. Maybe off topic but a lot of dancers have be asking me "who do you like" and "what's you're type" and it is IDK sorta the same vibe as I'm not attracted to you.
Who do you like? My response - I am not interested in you so why do you care? What's your type? Easy lol. My response: Someone who accepts that they're not everyone's type, including mine, and leaves without asking me what my type is.
Best part? last time I did this at Desires, she told someone I was an asshole, what I said and the minute she went into the back, that dancer came, sat down and said: "Even if I'm not your type now, I will be in a few minutes". Fucking love a sharp wit.
Personally, I prefer wanna dance strippers. But, I get it that an experienced stripper may decide she'll generally make more if she chats you up a bit before trying to set the hook. But, once a dance is offered and declined, it's time for her to mosey. If that's not her best for her too, she should not be dancing.
No Skibum609, you can't suck my dick.
Roses are red… Violets are blue… I’m looking for someone…. But that someone ain’t you!
😁
I like Barfy better knowing that skibum doesn't like him.
What rick, skibum, and ilbbaicnl said.
I had a woman approach me three times. I didn't get too rude. First time, "I'm just relaxing for now. I'll let you know if I want a dance." Second time, "I'm waiting on someone." Third time, she asked me for five dollars. I shook my head and then looked straight ahead at the stage. She left. This was a weekend day shift at a very high mileage club.
Generally speaking dancers don't mind the type rejection at all. Especially if you imply or suggest you're interested in another dancer. They usually don't like wasting their time if you're not already physically attracted to them.
I dont agree with flat out saying “i dont like you” or saying theyre not attractive. I would just say i dont want a dance, without providing any additional reasons.
Even if i dont want dances ill give her $100, knowing her earnings are her meal ticket. Ive even given $500 to a dancer i didnt want before, even made it rain thousands on stage for a dancer i had no interest in. Felt like such a loser afterwards and still do
^ "Ive even given $500 to a dancer i didnt want before, even made it rain thousands on stage for a dancer i had no interest in. Felt like such a loser afterwards and still do"
This is not surprising. At all.
Shift your mindset to it being a purely business transaction, that you don't want to burn a bridge with. It's not personal per se, you just aren't interested in the product. This could possibly shift you away from feeling like you're being "rude" for letting her know tactfully you don't find her attractive.
