discussion comment
7 years ago
@Bj99 - Awesome insight. I have definitely been doing some things wrong. I assumed (from reading the pink forum) that dancers all wanted to move things along as fast as possible. So I have probably moved to quickly and not let the dancer set the mood. And missed out on what could have been some nice conversations.
BJ can you comment more on what constitutes questions that are too personal?
discussion comment
7 years ago
One of the clubs near me has a policy where girls are not allowed to walk up to a customer and immediately ask if they want a dance.
discussion comment
7 years ago
Was she joking? I could see someone with a SUPER dark sense of humor joking in that manor.
discussion comment
7 years ago
I think both of you guys are right. The truth is somewhere in the middle and it's complex IMHO.
I am in similar camp to SirLapdancealot, in the respect that I have a hot wife who could be a successful stripper in the right club. However I don't think that means that strippers (who I could theoretically date in the civilian world) have the hots for me.
Female attraction is far more emotional, and the strip club environment is absolutely non-conducive to that. The stuff that is designed to make it more enticing to PLs doesn't work in reverse. I think that is easiest to understand in respect to the heels. Most women are attracted to guys 4-6" taller than them. Put a girl in 8" heels and it throws off that dynamic.
@Bj99 - Why do you think older dancers are more comfortable with the "romantic" style of lap dance? Is it strictly a comfort issue? Could there be something to the fact that younger dancers are far more likely to have grown up being exposed to porn and think that is what all men want?
discussion comment
7 years ago
After some self examination I have decided it is best to take the advice of pretty much everyone and stick to strip clubs. It will save me some money. It is also way easier to stick to my physical intimacy limits.
I have had some frustration with clubs but some of that could be improved by just being smarter when I go.
discussion comment
7 years ago
Subraman - Awesome suggestion on the wording.
Is it worth it to mention upfront that "I am looking to provide an allowance more in line with a nice car payment instead of a rent payment". Or is that something to mention over private message? Or in person? It seems like being up front about it would save a lot of time and weed out those obviously not interested.
I think it must be my location (deep in the bible belt) but I see numerous ads which might be perfect. There was one that basically say "I am not open to sex but we can do other stuff".
Just as there are guys on here who for fear of STDs or moral reasons want to refrain from sex there HAS to be girls out there looking for the same thing.
I know this idea is crazy. If nothing else it might be a fun experiment. My personality is one where I am always trying to work my way around established systems.
discussion comment
7 years ago
Great point.
From what I have gathered it seems like civilians on SA are willing to hookup for less than OTC from a stripper. Which makes sense, strippers deal day to day in a position of power over clueless PLs, many of which may drop $1000 in a champaign room and get next to nothing. Where as the attitude of some civvies on SA is "I was already hooking up for free" so the cash is just a bonus, however many of them are unwilling to cross the line into full blown prostitution.
Do you think a stripper would be willing to go for a $100-150 weekly OTC LDK? I doubt it (unless it is a good established relationship) but I am still a newb so I could be wrong.
Browsing SA I came across a profile which in summary said:
"I am on here to try and get half my rent, I want to kick my exBF out of my apartment, I just don't know if I feel comfortable doing this"
That is the type of person where she is exactly what I am looking for and I am exactly what she is looking for.
discussion comment
7 years ago
Cool we got some varied responses.
Bj99 - As always your insight is amazing. I think your comment about the mood being right might have been the issue for me. I generally don't want to be in the club for hours so I frequently only chat with a dancer for a minute or so before asking for a dance (or at least I used to). Sometimes this "bad timing" really seems to throw the dancer off of their game.
discussion comment
7 years ago
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LDJunkieEnjoying lap dances for 15 years and counting...
Definitely the baby powder seems to help in this regard. I feel far less sticky.
discussion comment
7 years ago
I have never been to any strip clubs in Austin but I did go to a jack shack called the Doll House. It was great. I'll send you a PM with more detail.
discussion comment
7 years ago
Where I live there is a thing called a criminal trespass warning. It is below a restraining order and super easy to get. Basically it is just a formal warning to someone that you don't want them coming near you and if they do it is trespassing.
discussion comment
7 years ago
Someone needs to make a rescue fantasy experience brothel.
discussion comment
7 years ago
Whenever possible avoid directly telling her what to do. Instead tell her what you like. Phrasing it that was is positive and more likely to get her to do it cheerfully. No one like being bossed around.
discussion comment
7 years ago
As men we all have a ancient primal drive to rescue women. It is hard to avoid because for some of us it is an immensely satisfying feeling. But since this girl is not begging for help you have to stay out of it.
discussion comment
7 years ago
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LiwetIf she walks away smiling, you spent too much.
Very insightful BJ. Any difference in how you feel about compliments from regulars?
discussion comment
7 years ago
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LiwetIf she walks away smiling, you spent too much.
If you get compliments all the time about something it just becomes noise. So if you are going to compliment a dancer try to think of something that they don't hear all the time.
discussion comment
7 years ago
I usually say"
"Hey I want to be respectful. What is off limits for you?"
However I don't usually ask at clubs I know. Most dancers at a club have similar boundaries. I do however initially move my hands slower and gentler when getting a dance with someone new.
discussion comment
7 years ago
It's probably also worth mentioning that the idea you have that she was really close to orgasm from the dance is wrong. She was just really good at giving you the fantasy.
discussion comment
7 years ago
There is no point in asking here again. If you must you could ask her about doing a VIP session. But you are probably better off going to another club. Nothing gets a girl off your mind like seeing other girls.
discussion comment
7 years ago
Expanding on my last comment. I don't disagree with any previous sentiments just pointing out differences in terminology.
discussion comment
7 years ago
I am the opposite of you taxi_driver. I love an intelligent debate. I have told dancers before that they didn't need to be so agreeable around me. The girl that one day figures that out (and then lets me win) will probably get a bunch of money out of me.
I see you guys using "emotional intellegence" to refer to the ability to resist short term fun. I would tend to just call that being disciplined. To me emotional intellegence is more about empathy.
discussion comment
7 years ago
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founderslip a dollar in her g-string for me
Can you delete all trusts over a year or two old. Or some other age cutoff?
discussion comment
7 years ago
Agreed with papi. I am not personally into extras.
But it's still super likely he is going to feel ripped off.
discussion comment
7 years ago
I would agree you might be about to lose him. However don't forget that he likely is in love with you and it is totally possible to keep him on the hook. My advice, tell him straight up you really want to keep him as a customer (throw in some other SS as well) and then make some sort of consession. A $50 discount might go a long way. And it feels better to all parties for you to offer it than for him to ask for it.
discussion comment
7 years ago
Depends. Some clubs and dancers it is expected. Some it isnt available at any price.
Sounds like you havr this regular pretty hooked. Try to make it last.