Touching a dancers neck, face, hair?
PaulDrake
Off again on again PL
I will readily admit that I am a gentle lover. I want a dance to be as close to making love as possible which for me includes occasional gentle contact with a girls neck/hair/cheek. However there are a lot of dancers who REALLY do not like anything above their shoulders touched (even though it is generally never described as being off limits). On the other hand I ran into a Cuban dancer the other day who did an amazing job of acting like she was into it. Even moving my hand, nuzzling her cheek into my palm and then lovingly kissing my hand.
I wear glasses and have found that taking them off before the dance sometimes works as a signal that cheek-to-cheek contact is something I like.
Thoughts? Comments? Am I the only one who likes this?
I wear glasses and have found that taking them off before the dance sometimes works as a signal that cheek-to-cheek contact is something I like.
Thoughts? Comments? Am I the only one who likes this?
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53 comments
I can only really think of one time a dancer pushed my hand away from her neck - maybe she thought I was trying to choke her?
Don't buy dances!
When it is time for your own pants to come down, then you invite her to the back room. Then take her home with you to continue and keep on seeing her regularly.
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Bj99 - As always your insight is amazing. I think your comment about the mood being right might have been the issue for me. I generally don't want to be in the club for hours so I frequently only chat with a dancer for a minute or so before asking for a dance (or at least I used to). Sometimes this "bad timing" really seems to throw the dancer off of their game.
Only one girl didn't allow touching her face because she had make up on.
I usually hold dancer face/cheeks with both hands during dances since I like her.
Papi, 100% agree. In fact, I wouldn't even consider that "glass half empty" thinking -- it's just realistic. Hell, I think any other thinking is liable to leave you open to romance hustles and tragic outcomes. To me, at least, this conversation is about: when a stripper puts on a lapdance performance, what do you like? At the risk of some heresy, when a stripper puts on a lapdance performance, I do NOT particularly like her facing away from me and grinding on my dick; I do like her facing me and doing some nuzzling. I'm not under any impression that the stripper is enjoying either one of those -- despite the borderline-insane beliefs of some here that the girls love feeling the guy's erection and orgasm through his pants -- these are just techniques in a performance.
And I think the more successful strippers are pretty good at picking up on what customers like and adapting accordingly.
"I do NOT particularly like her facing away from me and grinding on my dick; I do like her facing me and doing some nuzzling."
Same for me, and if a dancer picks up on this, she will get more dances from me and likely become a fav.
So some self-selection/sorting is going on with customers and dancers.
^ Same goes for the stripper that gives an aggressive or porno style dance. It's all a service for whatever meets the PL's fantasy.
The reason I like the slow and sensual "romantic shit" is because it feels better on my dick. The aggressive porno style dances are too much friction and pressure on my dick. So I like that in doses but for the majority of the dance I like slow and sensual for the feel alone.
Many don't mind touching neck and running fingers through hair, touching cheeks not so much. The ones that do mind fingers in hair are AA who've recently paid to have hair flattened and they don't want you messing that up.
Before going back I say excuse me I'm hitting bathroom to wash my hands back in a moment, which seems to increase subsequent permission to let my hands wander all over the place, not just neck cheeks hair, not a guaranty but have had good results.
To face the reality of being an old, fat, and ugly loser that couldn't get laid in a morgue is such a boner-kill.
Are you me ?? That's my best sensual position too.
IMO in the vast majority of instances, all a dancer is thinking about when engaging in w/e situation w/ a custy, is how much she's gonna be able to make from this guy, IMO.
I assume many of us have had a dancer draped all over us that we were not interested-in/attracted-to and how uncomfortable it was and how much we wanted it to stop.
IMO that's an apples to oranges comparison - dancers and custies go to the club for different reasons/objectives - a guy goes looking for the hottest girls, a dancer goes looking for the guys w/ the most $$$ and why often times young good-looking guys get ignored while the 50+ y/o guys are treated as the most sexy specimens on earth - from my POV the dancers' main, if not only, motivation, is the $$$ and they do what they do b/c of it from pretending to be into the custy to sucking his dick. Can some dancers be attracted to some custies and even enjoy the sex, sure - but i think it's uncommon b/c guys that can turn-on young hot women usually don't go to clubs and spend big $$$ - i.e. if most SCers can't get the interest of hot young civvies (thus why they hit the clubs), then why would they get the interest of a hot young stripper.
Attraction is attraction so it is still apples to apples relatively speaking. Sure, there may be less number of attractive men in a club than women but also women can more easily be attracted to personality as well.
And seriously, there may even be something in you that some dancer out there actually and truly finds attractive and made a dance she gave you, shockingly, actually enjoyable in addition to just for money.
And for me, yes I am attractive and I can fuck, and I have an attractive wife that just doesn't want to have as much sex as she used to when we were younger, so I go to strip clubs to satisfy my sexual needs without having extras or sex. I don't want to go out and cheat on my wife with civvies or strippers. And yes there are some strippers that have true fun with me and some that mail it in. And there are some that fake being attracted to me. It's really no different IRL. Some women find me attractive, some don't. That I'm in a strip club is irrelevant.
Nothing to do with that - it's just having clear-lenses vs RIL-colored lenses - in fact it seems it's often the older and/or less-attractive SCers that can't, or choose not to, see the difference b/w reality and fantasy-land.
But obviously we don't see things the same-way which should not be an issue on a *discussion* board - but if my POV irks you we'll just have to agree to disagree.
I am in similar camp to SirLapdancealot, in the respect that I have a hot wife who could be a successful stripper in the right club. However I don't think that means that strippers (who I could theoretically date in the civilian world) have the hots for me.
Female attraction is far more emotional, and the strip club environment is absolutely non-conducive to that. The stuff that is designed to make it more enticing to PLs doesn't work in reverse. I think that is easiest to understand in respect to the heels. Most women are attracted to guys 4-6" taller than them. Put a girl in 8" heels and it throws off that dynamic.
@Bj99 - Why do you think older dancers are more comfortable with the "romantic" style of lap dance? Is it strictly a comfort issue? Could there be something to the fact that younger dancers are far more likely to have grown up being exposed to porn and think that is what all men want?
So both of your favorites smell like butterscotch? Hmmm... My pants tend to smell like some mixture of pussy and perfume at the end of the night. Oh well...
Also if you were a male stripper, gays guys would be all over you. Then you'd have a real dilemma.
@Papi_Chulo I was never irked by what you said. I just gave you real example counterpoints to what you said and for sure my SC experience of 20+ years is much different than yours, that's all. And it's been the same experience whether I was young or old.
You're just projecting your own personal experiences and as I am mine. And that's fine by me. I don't even see it having to be anything we agree or disagree about either. It's just two different experiences by two PLs.
One thing to remember is that quite a large number of female strippers might be more into women. So they might never have a real interest in almost any male customer, let alone on the less attractive spectrum that the higher spending PLs tend to fall on.
Anyway, my preferred stripper will always be the one that seems to genuinely "enjoy" what she does. Or are that good at faking it to fool me. That's the type of dancer that can regularly separate me from my money. Of course the girls at stripperweb seem to hate their "jobs" and actually having to "work" at it (do the sexy stripper things) to get their money and just trying to find ways to make as much as they can and put out as little sexy effort (contact and mileage) as possible.
I've also met the bitter, money only type of stripper and have had my share of wasted dances with them and I am experienced enough now to see it in just first intros and talking to them. I can see a fake attitude. It's not really that hard. But not all strippers are like this just like all strippers aren't money only without having any sexual fun at work. My point is there's no absolutes on sexual attraction in a strip club.
And yeah, I too like the strippers that enjoy it and genuinely want to make a man feel good at the same time she makes money off of him. There's a huge difference between me LDKing with her than with a mechanical lesbian that is grinding like a robot. The straight stripper that is somewhat attracted and having a good time with me is the kind that will get sensual. I've been with plenty of both and various levels in between as well.
Or just meet up F2F and settle your differences like real men instead of a couple of pussies.