Touching a dancers neck, face, hair?

A lot of men love it, even if they don’t expect it, or initiate it. The mood has to be right ofcourse. I think closeness is the best, and easier, way to sell more dances, without getting in trouble.

@ Paul Drake - I do this all the time, and not just in the lap dance room. I'll gently touch/stroke a dancer's neck, shoulders, ears, face, & hair while sitting with her on the main floor, never had a issue. Some dancers tell me it's very relaxing, but they also say I have really soft hands. (Maybe you have rough hands from all that gumshoeing you do?)

I can only really think of one time a dancer pushed my hand away from her neck - maybe she thought I was trying to choke her?

touching a beautiful woman is touching heaven.

The more contact between body parts including above the neck and hair, the merrier. Except feet. Feet are gross. That said, it is still mostly all about the chest and bumping uglies in the genital region.

Front Room Makeout Session!

Don't buy dances!

When it is time for your own pants to come down, then you invite her to the back room. Then take her home with you to continue and keep on seeing her regularly.

SJG

Debunking Personal Finance Gurus Like Suze Orman kpfa.org

My Ignore List: DrPhil, DrPhil., IME, Meat72, san_jose_gay, tixtittyfag, JimGassagain, Call.Me.Ishmael, SirLapdancealot, L1oydSchoene

I had a dancer tell me not to touch her head while she was blowing me. WTF? That was the last time I got a blow job from her.

A lof them go thru a lot of effort doing their hair and makeup and don't like people touching them and perhaps messing up their hair/makeup.

jack haha Lololol

I used to be the "tender type" perhaps till my 30s - for me these days (late 40s) a strip-club visit is more like a porno than a romance-novel

In my glass-half-empty PL-mind, I really don't think these girls like all this "romantic shit" w/ guys they're most-likely not attracted to - IMO they'll say, and pretend, they like-it, but IMO they are just tolerating-it and playing-the-part w/ some exceptions - I mean is she gonna get all "worked-up" w/ a guy 30 years her senior that probably couldn't get laid in a morgue - doubt that she "enjoys it" as she claims - just my 2-cents.

I like the romantic stuff. It’s more fun than being mechanical.

^ so you like some pot-bellied bald 60 y/o caressing your hair and face?

^^Probably just as much as big booty dancers like grinding their asses on guys dicks for $5 a dance

I've never had a girl push away from touching her hair, lightly caressing her cheek or lightly holding her chin while staring in each other's eyes as our hands roam.

Yeah. I don’t mind. I prefer some pot bellied old guy being sweet to me over some guy with a huge boner wearing cowboy jeans, pushing me back and forth on it until he LDKs. Or some handsy guy squeezing my breasts too hard and trying to shove his hand in my thong. As long as the guy is clean, and nice smelling, I like being close and cuddling, and I like being touched and enjoyed.

I am most certainly not a "gentle lover", in fact I'm the opposite. But, I still like the face & neck nuzzling, teasing (like she brings her lips in until we're a millimeter away from kissing, then turns her head), etc.

^ Woo Hoo, let's hear it for pot bellied old guys.

I am not into above the shoulders touching by both parties whatsoever, but I do like slow and and sensual high mileage dances. I also don't mind being cheek to cheek and mutual nuzzling into each other's necks, but honestly I would much rather have mutual slow and sensual body touching than neck, face, and hair.

Cool we got some varied responses.

Bj99 - As always your insight is amazing. I think your comment about the mood being right might have been the issue for me. I generally don't want to be in the club for hours so I frequently only chat with a dancer for a minute or so before asking for a dance (or at least I used to). Sometimes this "bad timing" really seems to throw the dancer off of their game.

Having a favorite helps, but some girls are just always like that. I set the mood when we sit down for the dance. It never hurts to peak at girls doing dances. Also, the older dancers seem more comfortable with this kind of thing. You can also get an idea of how girls are when you tip them on stage.

Papi nailed it.

Papi did (I just wish he wouldn't use me to give the physical description of the quintessential older PL) ;-)

I am a gentle lover. I pick a girl if she is pretty . My favourite has nice long ravishing hair and beautiful face. She knows that i like her natural hair and without make up. She does not mind when I touch her face, hair and caess her neck during dances..sometimess few kisses on the neck. Only one girl didn't allow touching her face because she had make up on. I usually hold dancer face/cheeks with both hands during dances since I like her.

-->"In my glass-half-empty PL-mind, I really don't think these girls like all this "romantic shit" w/ guys they're most-likely not attracted to - IMO they'll say, and pretend, they like-it, but IMO they are just tolerating-it and playing-the-part w/ some exceptions"

Papi, 100% agree. In fact, I wouldn't even consider that "glass half empty" thinking -- it's just realistic. Hell, I think any other thinking is liable to leave you open to romance hustles and tragic outcomes. To me, at least, this conversation is about: when a stripper puts on a lapdance performance, what do you like? At the risk of some heresy, when a stripper puts on a lapdance performance, I do NOT particularly like her facing away from me and grinding on my dick; I do like her facing me and doing some nuzzling. I'm not under any impression that the stripper is enjoying either one of those -- despite the borderline-insane beliefs of some here that the girls love feeling the guy's erection and orgasm through his pants -- these are just techniques in a performance.

"To me, at least, this conversation is about: when a stripper puts on a lapdance performance, what do you like?"

And I think the more successful strippers are pretty good at picking up on what customers like and adapting accordingly.

"I do NOT particularly like her facing away from me and grinding on my dick; I do like her facing me and doing some nuzzling."

Same for me, and if a dancer picks up on this, she will get more dances from me and likely become a fav.

So some self-selection/sorting is going on with customers and dancers.

@Papi_Chulo posted -> "In my glass-half-empty PL-mind, I really don't think these girls like all this "romantic shit" w/ guys they're most-likely not attracted to - IMO they'll say, and pretend, they like-it, but IMO they are just tolerating-it and playing-the-part w/ some exceptions - I mean is she gonna get all "worked-up" w/ a guy 30 years her senior that probably couldn't get laid in a morgue - doubt that she "enjoys it" as she claims - just my 2-cents."

^ Same goes for the stripper that gives an aggressive or porno style dance. It's all a service for whatever meets the PL's fantasy.

The reason I like the slow and sensual "romantic shit" is because it feels better on my dick. The aggressive porno style dances are too much friction and pressure on my dick. So I like that in doses but for the majority of the dance I like slow and sensual for the feel alone.

^yes, the slow and sensual is awesome. I hate bouncing.

Many don't mind touching neck and running fingers through hair, touching cheeks not so much. The ones that do mind fingers in hair are AA who've recently paid to have hair flattened and they don't want you messing that up.

Before going back I say excuse me I'm hitting bathroom to wash my hands back in a moment, which seems to increase subsequent permission to let my hands wander all over the place, not just neck cheeks hair, not a guaranty but have had good results.

Yeah, if a stripper recently got her hair did, best not to touch. Especially if she uses the phrase "got my hair did".

^ oh no you didn't

You misspelled di'int

It's understood that everyone enjoys SCing in their own way, my only "cringe" per se is certain PLs that think they have "some kind of madter touch" "that strippers really dig", and IMO that's mostly PL fantasizing

Dancers often tell me I have a madter touch...

^ I think a PL should get into the fantasy whether it be a romantic lover or a porno stud that fucks the shit out of a woman.

To face the reality of being an old, fat, and ugly loser that couldn't get laid in a morgue is such a boner-kill.

That should read "couldn't get laid in a (Nevada) brothel/whorehouse"

LOL - madter was supposed to be magic

Best sensual position to me is with her straddling and wrapping her legs around me, her pussy rubbing on the underside of my hard cock, my hands grabbing her ass and controlling the pressure and grind on my cock, her hands on my back, we are cheek to cheek breathing heavily and moaning into each other's ear, and, last but not least, her all natural tits are rubbing and pressing into my bare chest.

Sirlapdance, Are you me ?? That's my best sensual position too.

Heehee @Darkblue999 Maybe brothers from another mother? But seriously yes it is an awesome position plus you can go porno with it too. For example yesterday I was getting dances from my backup CF (except my shirt was buttoned so no bare tits on chest), and, although we started slow and sensual, I slowly accelerated the pace and pressure, again using my hands on each ass, until I was spreading her ass cheeks as wide as possible to make her pussy gape while simultaneously pushing the base of my rock hard cock up into her pussy lips with hard thrusts. At the same time she also accelerated her pussy pops into my hard cock at the same pace, and she breathed heavily and let out small grunts into my ear as we rubbed cheeks. Eventually we were going at a quick and hard pace, and so to top it all off she then reaches down and starts stroking the upper half of my cock with her hands as quickly as we are grinding. All this pushed me over the edge and I LDKed hard just before she changes position and the second song ends. 'twas an awesome two song LDK that combined both slow and sensual and rough porno style mutual grinding.

^ I forgot to mention that if she didn't enjoy it, she sure did fake it well. It doesn't matter to me. She made me feel like a lover and a porn stud. Also what she didn't fake was the 3" pussy cream stain on the crotch of my black pants. Also the smell of her butterscotch pussy on them was not fake either.

There are dancers that will suck a guy's dick "without complaining" - doesn't mean she enjoyed it - just doing her job and wanting to get paid - a dancer complaining or not doing what a custy likes means there's a good-chance she won't get his $$$ - a big-part, if not the biggest-part, of a dancer's job is to make the custy feel liked - some are very good at doing their job, some are not, and some don't care.

IMO in the vast majority of instances, all a dancer is thinking about when engaging in w/e situation w/ a custy, is how much she's gonna be able to make from this guy, IMO.

I assume many of us have had a dancer draped all over us that we were not interested-in/attracted-to and how uncomfortable it was and how much we wanted it to stop.

I don't see it as digital and completely one way or the other. In my experience it isn't that hard to find the ones faking it, and distinguish them from ones that truly have some level of attraction to me. Just like guys are anywhere from totally not interested to totally in lust and all the grades in between, a stripper can be that way with her customers. Plus not all men are unattractive. If I were a male stripper, for sure it would be all about making money, but that also doesn't mean I wouldn't be able to find some of the women I danced for attractive in some way and I may even genuinely enjoy it during the course of taking her money. I could see some strippers having sexual fun at work with some of her better looking customers. Why not? It can still be about making money but it doesn't have to be mutually exclusive to true sexual fun is all I'm saying.

I would also venture to guess that a stripper would want to focus and again even appreciate at least one thing attractive in her customer as a way of helping her get into the fantasy she's providing. And the more attractive the customer, the easier it is for her to enjoy her "fake" fantasy as well.

"... Just like guys are anywhere from totally not interested to totally in lust ..."

IMO that's an apples to oranges comparison - dancers and custies go to the club for different reasons/objectives - a guy goes looking for the hottest girls, a dancer goes looking for the guys w/ the most $$$ and why often times young good-looking guys get ignored while the 50+ y/o guys are treated as the most sexy specimens on earth - from my POV the dancers' main, if not only, motivation, is the $$$ and they do what they do b/c of it from pretending to be into the custy to sucking his dick. Can some dancers be attracted to some custies and even enjoy the sex, sure - but i think it's uncommon b/c guys that can turn-on young hot women usually don't go to clubs and spend big $$$ - i.e. if most SCers can't get the interest of hot young civvies (thus why they hit the clubs), then why would they get the interest of a hot young stripper.

^ Says the unattractive old codger.

Attraction is attraction so it is still apples to apples relatively speaking. Sure, there may be less number of attractive men in a club than women but also women can more easily be attracted to personality as well.

And seriously, there may even be something in you that some dancer out there actually and truly finds attractive and made a dance she gave you, shockingly, actually enjoyable in addition to just for money.

And for me, yes I am attractive and I can fuck, and I have an attractive wife that just doesn't want to have as much sex as she used to when we were younger, so I go to strip clubs to satisfy my sexual needs without having extras or sex. I don't want to go out and cheat on my wife with civvies or strippers. And yes there are some strippers that have true fun with me and some that mail it in. And there are some that fake being attracted to me. It's really no different IRL. Some women find me attractive, some don't. That I'm in a strip club is irrelevant.

at my age there just aint any ladies my age that i would want to have sex with.

"... Says the unattractive old codger ..."

Nothing to do with that - it's just having clear-lenses vs RIL-colored lenses - in fact it seems it's often the older and/or less-attractive SCers that can't, or choose not to, see the difference b/w reality and fantasy-land.

But obviously we don't see things the same-way which should not be an issue on a discussion board - but if my POV irks you we'll just have to agree to disagree.

I think both of you guys are right. The truth is somewhere in the middle and it's complex IMHO.

I am in similar camp to SirLapdancealot, in the respect that I have a hot wife who could be a successful stripper in the right club. However I don't think that means that strippers (who I could theoretically date in the civilian world) have the hots for me.

Female attraction is far more emotional, and the strip club environment is absolutely non-conducive to that. The stuff that is designed to make it more enticing to PLs doesn't work in reverse. I think that is easiest to understand in respect to the heels. Most women are attracted to guys 4-6" taller than them. Put a girl in 8" heels and it throws off that dynamic.

@Bj99 - Why do you think older dancers are more comfortable with the "romantic" style of lap dance? Is it strictly a comfort issue? Could there be something to the fact that younger dancers are far more likely to have grown up being exposed to porn and think that is what all men want?

@Sirlapdancealot So both of your favorites smell like butterscotch? Hmmm... My pants tend to smell like some mixture of pussy and perfume at the end of the night. Oh well...

Also if you were a male stripper, gays guys would be all over you. Then you'd have a real dilemma.

@Dirk FWIW I've been hit on by gay men before. There's no dilemma when they realize I'm straight.

@Papi_Chulo I was never irked by what you said. I just gave you real example counterpoints to what you said and for sure my SC experience of 20+ years is much different than yours, that's all. And it's been the same experience whether I was young or old.

You're just projecting your own personal experiences and as I am mine. And that's fine by me. I don't even see it having to be anything we agree or disagree about either. It's just two different experiences by two PLs.

@PaulDrake I don't ever assume a stripper wants to take me home and fuck me just because she finds me attractive. All I'm saying is that there are some that find me attractive and some that don't. And some have genuine fun in a LD with me at the same time they make money off me. As stated, there's no reason to assume that every stripper isn't enjoying a dance for the simple fact that she found something attractive in her customer, looks or personality for that matter. Making money and having a real attraction don't have to be mutually exclusive.

^ The dilemma i'm talking about is the one many straight male strippers at supposedly straight clubs probably face. Do they do the gay4pay (not actual sex, but a lap dance for a man) or refuse the man and his money? They gay guys probably spend a lot more than the straight women. And if they decide to go with the gay4pay, how far do they take it? Faking attraction or interest to the point that the gay guy thinks the stripper dude might actually like it and keeps on buying dances?

One thing to remember is that quite a large number of female strippers might be more into women. So they might never have a real interest in almost any male customer, let alone on the less attractive spectrum that the higher spending PLs tend to fall on.

Anyway, my preferred stripper will always be the one that seems to genuinely "enjoy" what she does. Or are that good at faking it to fool me. That's the type of dancer that can regularly separate me from my money. Of course the girls at stripperweb seem to hate their "jobs" and actually having to "work" at it (do the sexy stripper things) to get their money and just trying to find ways to make as much as they can and put out as little sexy effort (contact and mileage) as possible.

^ I would never strip or do anything remotely sexual with another man so I would not want to be a male stripper whatsoever. Why anyone gay would want to strip for the opposite sex defies my logic. But being in Portland I know all about the lesbian stripper. And I try to avoid them at all costs. Luckily there are plenty of straight and bi strippers here too.

I've also met the bitter, money only type of stripper and have had my share of wasted dances with them and I am experienced enough now to see it in just first intros and talking to them. I can see a fake attitude. It's not really that hard. But not all strippers are like this just like all strippers aren't money only without having any sexual fun at work. My point is there's no absolutes on sexual attraction in a strip club.

And yeah, I too like the strippers that enjoy it and genuinely want to make a man feel good at the same time she makes money off of him. There's a huge difference between me LDKing with her than with a mechanical lesbian that is grinding like a robot. The straight stripper that is somewhat attracted and having a good time with me is the kind that will get sensual. I've been with plenty of both and various levels in between as well.

^ "but if my POV irks you we'll just have to agree to disagree."

Or just meet up F2F and settle your differences like real men instead of a couple of pussies.