I don't think there is anything with discussing exactly what to expect during the private dance before you do that dance. Be straight with the girl on what you want.

First of all you are PAYING them - not dating them or courting them - in strip-clubs you need to be assertive else many of those sharks will have you for lunch.

The dancers are there to please YOU - that's why you are PAYING them - they don't like you nor give a shit about you other than your $$$; so don't worry about "offending them" - it's up to you to get what you want in a club for your $$$ - if you pay a dancer it's to get the dances you want, not to settle for w/e she wants to do or not do - the dance is about you, not them.

First of all, many areas/cities have tight-ordinances where touching is not allowed - sometimes no-touching is allowed on either side (air-dances) and sometimes only one-way contact is allowed (her touching you but you can't touch her) - if this is a local-ordinance then you are usually SOL.

If touching is allowed but you seem to be striking out once you are getting the dance, then ask her upfront when negotiating for a dance - let her know what kind of dance you want/expect and see if she's down; if she's not then don't waste your $$$, eventually you'll find the ones that are down.

Again, you're not courting these bitches - if you are all worried about "offending them" then you have a lot to learn about strip-clubbing - these girls often get asked outright for sex on a daily basis at the club, usually by guys like us (TUSCLers).

Clubs in my area are all camera'd so dancers usually do not want overt boob grabbing. You develop a technique of accidentally (ahem) leaving your hands in front of you so she can lean in on them... or on her sides, as she body slides down you with her back to the cameras. I really do not need to ask. She will push hands away if not open to it.

You just have to buy a 2 way contact dance. Grabbing boobs is standard/normal during these type of lap dances.

What’s your favorite Kobe moment?

Many of these girls don't like doing what they do so naturally many of them wanna do the least while getting paid the mo$t - in a strip-club everyone is looking out for themselves - the staff and dancers mainly care about how much $$$ then can get out of you, not necessarily that you are getting your money's worth.

Also some clubs are raunchier that others - you'd have to read reviews for clubs in your area and get familiar w/ what's allowed.

In clubs w/ an open dance-area, you can peek at the dances being given and if you see boob-play then that is what you should expect and pay for.

You are mistaking a stripper for a civilian woman. That’s a common mistake but an important one to avoid. Strippers are sex workers. They sell their bodies, and so they are very used to answering questions about what men can do with their bodies. As long as you are not a complete ass about it, you don’t need to worry about asking them what they allow in a lap dance. You won't offend them. Just ask.

Here’s what you should do. Unless you know what will happen in a lap dance based upon past experience with the girl or the club, ask her before you go back about anything that you want. You are a breast man like me. So here’s what I often say: “You have beautiful breasts, is it ok during the lap dance if I play with them.” I sometimes add: “I will be respectful and not to aggressive, but I’m dying to play with them.” If she says anything other than an unqualified yes to these questions, then you will not be playing with her tits. Do not try to convince her to let you do what you want after she says no or maybe. Maybe is the same as no, and you only accept “yes” or “of course.”

I say no thanks to a dance if the stripper won’t allow breast play, and you should too since that’s inportant to you. Again, don’t worry about offending her by saying no dance if you can’t play with her tits. It’s your money and you get to decide what to pay for. And you don’t have to stop with touching her breasts. I often ask about other things that I like as well like sucking her nipples, although those other issues aren’t always a deal breaker.

After you do this with strippers for a while you will come back here asking us how to get a blow job. The answer is the same. Just ask. Those two words answer half of all the questions asked on tuscl. Just ask, and only pay if you get the right answer.

There is only thing I am going to add in addition to what has already been said. Some dancers may say something like, "yes, but that will cost $10 extra per dance".

If you get an answer like that, then you have three options:

1. Tip her extra so you can touch her tits
2. Just pay the normal price and don't touch her tits
3. Don't buy dances from her

A lot of us would go with option 3 if we are asked to tip extra.

to build on ironman’s point: there is a fourth option if she demands a tip.

1. Agree to tip her but insist that she do more to earn the tip. The something more could be sex or could simply be some type of elevated contact level.

I usually chose 3 or 4 if a dancer expects a tip for something basic like breast play. But if she’s a cute young redhead I admit that I might go with 1.

Every girl there has been asked to fuck within their first hour on shift. I wouldn't worry about what she thinks if you ask to grope her boobies.

All the time.

I’d estimate that you wait until your third or fourth date. If it’s going well you slip your hand...

Wait a second! This is a stripper - in a strip club! You talk about what’s available and the cost. If it’s what you want - then you go for it. If it’s not - don’t waste your time. Move to the next dancer.

I thing JS69's method is as respectful as it gets.

But for me I usually just go for it. Not a crazy grope or anything but I just slide my hands up there and see what she does. If you're in a good 2 way contact club, boob grabbing is par for the course. Still you might find those girls in these types of clubs who will brush your hand away. That's pretty much the worse that happens. They won't call the bouncer over 1 attempted boob grab. But if you press the issue it might be different. Anyhow, those are 1 dance girls for me. Like you and JS69, boob grabbing is a must. If I can't get that, I have no use for a dancer.

If you're in a low contact club it's probably not accepted. I found this the hard way in SF last week. No worries, that was my last visit to that club.

I often compliment them on their breasts and many times when the girl is facing away from me, she'll put my hands on them. Other women like to give stevie wonders...:)

If you are too shy to ask if it's ok to touch her boobs or grab her boobs, you can always ask what are her rules during lap dances. The best answer is I have no rules but some dancers will say you can't do all kinds of stuff. If it's sounds way too restrictive, just say you'll pass on dances for now. Another dancer will likely come along in seconds if it's a busy club. Repeat, try again, If you are striking out with everyone, you might want to ask if club rules are enforced and what those rules are. It's not a bad idea to know club rules because you could be thrown out for violating them.

I usually say" "Hey I want to be respectful. What is off limits for you?"

However I don't usually ask at clubs I know. Most dancers at a club have similar boundaries. I do however initially move my hands slower and gentler when getting a dance with someone new.

IMO if you ask a dancer what she allows it comes across as you not knowing how the club works and she may see you as more easily manipulable - I think it's better to state what you want than to leave it up to the dancer - most would rather not be touched unless it's what you expect or demand.

Even in a low mileage club, ymmv. I almost always have a pretty good idea of how open the stripper is with one basic lapper. If she’s going to allow breast play, a Stevie or other mileage, she usually initiates it. If she doesn’t or is pushing my hand away, I’m done with her. If she asks for more dances or VIP, I tell her no and will politely explain why if she persists. If I’m going to continue with a stripper, it’s based on a clear understanding of how the dances will be and at what cost.

You can ask "where can I put my hands?"

The fun ones will say something like "anywhere but inside my thong".

fantastic advice all over. especially JS69, Ironman, Papi, Paul, Huntsman, JamesSD giving out easy conversation starters.

Reminds me of this discussion I started after being on TUSCL for 3 years.

tuscl.net

Best tip for better strip-club experience you have got from discussion board?

I'll start:

"just ask"

At most of the strip clubs that I have ever visited, let's say all but five or six out of 80+, fondling the funbags is common so I usually do it without asking, cautiously at first and sometimes not until the second dance. Unfortunately one of my two regular clubs, the Silver Bullet in Urbana, officially doesn't allow titty touching (though some girls discreetly allow it), However, I've found over the years that the lap dances there have compensating advantages.

make the grab light and slow. i’ve only had one say NO.

and that was at Santa Barbara spearmint rhino. a ‘porn star’.

I'm agreeing with many others.

You usually get a feel for how "dirty" a girl is when they're on stage. You can ask before or after, but the only line you need to remember is, "hey, where are you cool with me putting my hands?"

I've had answers ranging from "anything not covered by cloth" to "oh, wherever you want." I suspect the latter girls didn't realize just how much that could entail. ;p

Don't ask about her boobs. Just grab her by the pussy.

Easier to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission

What 25 said.

A lot of solid advice here. I usually gauge whether I even want to approach a PD with someone by their initial level of contact. Do they snuggle up to you at the bar? Jump in your lap when you're sitting at a table? Etc. Last girl I got a PD from leaned down from the stage and put her mouth on my crotch! If they just ask if I want a dance with no prior physicality I politely decline.

If English doesn't work try Spanish.

Polite: Please, madamoiselle, may i touch your beautiful breasts without offending?

Rude: Hey, bitch. Let me grab yo' knockers! (Said with a perverted sneer)

Restraining your uncontrollable hand and your best Dr. Strangelove voice say "Parden me fraulein, but your breasts command my attention!" Release your hand and in a lunging motion grab her breast. Extra points for suprise and using your Emily Post as a coup de gras on her nipple.

Tell me how it goes...