Morality and Strippers
larryfisherman
California
She tells you about this stalker regular of hers. You’ve seen him in the club a couple times. He is a high paying whale that only comes in for her. He gets angry and jealous when he comes in and she is talking to another guy. He expects her to drop whatever she’s doing and come over to him as soon as he arrives. One time you were getting dances from her, and he was peeking through all the VIP curtains looking for her. He eventually finds the VIP booth where you and her are at, he opens it slightly and peeks in. You and her both spot him, and he quickly closes the curtain. After the dances she walks back to the bar, her fellow dancers tell her he was looking through all the curtains for her. When she asks him about this, he denies it, he says he was just going to the restroom.
She waitresses at another place, and he follows her there too. He gets mad when she doesn’t spend all her time with him at her waitressing job. She has a job to do, she has to serve the patrons drinks, she can’t just stay with him. All the staff at her waitressing job tells her they get a creepy vibe from him towards her and that he just stares at her the whole time. When he asks her about this, he denies it, he says the staff is lying.
He keeps asking her where she lives and wants OTC action. She turned down the OTC offers and didn’t tell him where she lived. One night after a night of dancing, she was driving home, and there was this car that was following her for quite awhile. She somehow finally lost him or her. She thinks it was the stalker, but she can’t prove it. He was indeed at the club she was at that night.
Long story short, she is becoming worried and a little scared.
Would you step in and try to help her in her situation?
or
Would you do nothing about it, stay out of it?
or
Would you start monitoring the situation, and if gets worse then step in?
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If she doesn’t have a boyfriend - hopefully she has a big brother.
I’m a customer - not her bodyguard. I have a real job, and otc sex doesn’t pay my bills.
There are job related issues with all types of employment - and I don’t involve her in mine.
Not even close to your problem unless she is now your GF or you are best friends. Even then she should stop leading this guy on before next steps taken.
The problem in these types of situations you have no idea what the real situation is between her and the stalker--what has she told him---what promises might have been made, etc.
I admit if a guy popped the VIP curtains on me even at my age I'd be tempted to confront him when my time was up. Chances are every other guy he peeked in on before he found her and you would have chimed in as well and the club management would have probably tossed him at that point......but again it leads back to my original statement of what is the real deal between him and your ATF
Morality? I'm not sure where that comes in. You won't find it in strippers.
If you try to physically interfere, you could get hurt or killed. Or you could hurt or kill someone unjustifiably and wind up in jail.
This is what occurred at BT's in Dearborn 5 or 6 years ago. A customer leaves the club at 2AM and observes a guy hitting a dancer in the parking lot. The customer comes to her rescue. The guy and the dancer turn on the customer and attack him. He runs. The guy pulls out a pistol and shoots at him a couple times. The customer runs around the club and escapes without being hit. The moral of the story: Don't stick your neck out for a stripper.
Beyond that, if he does nothing to me, I'm happy to give her advice if and only if she asks for it.
Let me fill in a couple of the blanks.
She doesn’t have a boyfriend.
Uprightcitizen is right, she hasn’t refused his money. The last time they did a half hour VIP, he made her so upset that she essentially did nothing in the VIP. He asked for a refund, and she is basically told him to kick rocks. He didn’t try for the refund that much after that.
This is definitely true.
Let me throw in one more loop to the story. Say that the customer who was told the story has been developing feelings for the dancer over the past month.
I’m guessing this chick could be looking for a black knight!
I’d recommend that customer buy a hammer. Each time he feels that desire - to either be with the stripper - or to help the stripper - he should use his new hammer to pound one finger very hard. Over time - he will develop a Pavlovian association of intense immediate pain with thoughts of his stripper.
This is a reconditioned response - and it’s effective here. The customer could get beaten up - or shot - when attempting to rescue the dancer. A sore, swollen thumb is much easier to explain to a spouse, and much less life threatening too.
She has drawn you into her vortex big time. Escape. Or at least don't get drawn in any further.
I would add to that: "and even if she was begging for help, that help should be limited to the form of advice -- for example, to use the security in the club for what it's there for, cease contact with him, etc." Downright reckless (especially considering you can't trust her real motives) to do anything more than
To put the finishing touches to the story the customer essentially did the second option, he did nothing, stayed out of it, and that’s what he planned to do going forward. He then thought about it overnight and wondered if that was the right thing to do morally. Stripper or not, he considers her a friend and wonders if he should do more. He then did what taxi driver suggested and told her to get a restraining order.
There, that’s it! He did his moral obligation. He should feel good right?
He still feels if he considers her a friend, than he should help her more than he has done. He is considering telling stalker in a nice way to back off. Of course if the stalker does something to him, then hands are getting thrown. But at this point the customer is not looking for a fight.
Stop yourself before you end up With the Fishes.
Here's the deal (As told by them),
They all have abusive BFs. All have abusive childhoods. All have been molested or otherwise abused. All have a deadbeat Baby Daddy. All have scum of the earth friends.
Choose to believe what parts you wish, but NEVER EVER swallow, hook line and sinker, the whole tale. But if you do, it really isn't your problem now is it. That's when you separate the PL into just plain ole Pathetic and a Loser. Surely you know this, being an upstanding member of this fine institution.
But srsly ask her what she's done so far? Does bouncer/management know, does she want them/you/anyone to intervene? (doesn't mean you should) but find out what she wants before even thinking about involving yourself in any situation that doesn't concern you.
Good One. Lol
That's some high quality stripper shit.
(:
Start by checking on her frequently ITC. The only way you can keep her safe from her stlalker is, of course, by knowing what she is doing and who she is with at all times. Right?
Next you could hang out at her waitressing job in order to protect her from the creepy dude who is hanging out at her waitressing job. Sure it may look a little odd to the vanilla staff at her other job, but they don't understand the situation the way a seasoned strip club guy like you does.
Finally, you should follow her home in order to make sure that she doesn't have a tail. If she spots you and questions you the next time she sees you, just explain to her that you are following her home to keep you safe.
And, of course, you should kep doing these things until she gets a BF or another RIL to take your place. Now this new BF/RIL may, by that point, have you confused for the REAL stalker, but no doubt you can set that person straight. ;)
I continue to think the key piece of info missing is: "and even if she does ask for his help, he should not jump in. Offer advice, sure, but not 'jump in'".