Comments by reverendhornibastard (page 2)

That’s “fuck me.” “Chúpame” is “suck me.” I have a feeling many of the dancers at Diosas would accommodate either request.

@jacej - Apart from tipping generously in the club, I am not one who responds to a sob story from a stripper. I’m too jaded for that. However, in this case, the dancer was someone I knew fairly well (albeit only in the context of the strip club). But she was not giving me a sob story with the intent of asking me for help. She never asked me for help. As she told me the story of her worthless boyfriend who drained her account, she was clearly just venting without any expectation of assistance. When I solved her short term cash flow problem she broke down in tears (happy ones). If she had come out and asked me for help I most probably would have said, “no.”

@Array - I got the proton therapy. The treatment was done at a rather small clinic in Montgomery County (suburban area north of Houston). Although most of the guys I met during therapy complained of unusual fatigue, not everyone did. There was this one little guy (but built like a fire plug) who was ALWAYS full of energy despite the radiation therapy. Lucky him. He was definitely in the minority on this issue. I’m now 3 weeks beyond my therapy. I’m pleased to report that my recovery accelerated considerably in the last 2 weeks. Apart from nearly dry orgasms, I’m 95% back to normal.

@TxVegas - My prostate cancer radiation therapy is now in my rear view mirror. It’s been nearly 2 weeks since my last radiation therapy. The wind is again filling my sails and my energy levels are going back up. I am back to needing an occasional desploogination and, I’m pleased to say, they are becoming enjoyable. The main difference now is output quantity. Most of a healthy guy’s ejaculate is NOT sperm. Most of the volume of ejaculate is made of other secretions including those produced by the prostate gland. These juices provide the fluid medium the sperm swim in, contain nutrients that keep the sperm active and contain chemistry that neutralizes the acids in the vagina that would harm the sperm. Only a tiny fraction of the ejaculate is sperm. This is why when a man gets a vasectomy, the volume of his ejaculate is not noticeably reduced. So, for a guy whose prostate has been thoroughly fried by radiation therapy, all I put out now when I cum is sperm. So, although it’s still a very pleasant experience for me, in terms of volume, I have a lot less to show for it now. Or, putting it another way, the waitresses at my favorite high mileage clubs no longer need to give me as any “extra napkins” as they used to.

@desertscrub - If you ignore my “Golden Era” that ended when I completed my toilet training, I never peed on anybody. As for being peed upon, yes I got peed on a few times, mostly by my own kids, but there were no video recordings made.

I don’t give a rat’s ass what others regard as old. It only matters what I regard as old (and that’s rather complicated). First of all, any woman who is less than 25 years YOUNGER than I am is old (or at least too old for me). Second, any guy who is my age or older is definitely old and should know better than to behave like that. Third, as long as my hydraulics still work and I have opportunities to “behave like that,” I’m not old yet even though Truman was still president when I was born. If my attitude seems unfair and egocentric, feel free to complain (but speak up because my hearing isn’t what it used to be).

Theoretically, nothing goes on in the VIP or the Sanctuary that doesn’t go on in the remainder of the club. Who am I to cast doubt on such a theory? I have gotten my money’s worth from my VIP membership and then some. I looked over the Sanctuary but decided it did not offer sufficient incremental value to warrant the higher price. Unless you plan to visit The Church regularly and are looking for some unholy communion, I would not purchase a membership.

I don’t think any strippers ever warmed up to me because I came across and a kind and gentle daddy or grandpa. It’s far more likely they warmed up to me because of the way I dress or because they noticed my expensive wristwatch and assumed I could spend some money on them. Since I tend to return repeatedly to a small number of clubs where I know I can reliably get what I want from women I find appealing, it’s also highly likely that waitresses have alerted them to my presence and encourages them to take good care of me and expect me to return the favor. That said, I enjoy telling stories about my outrageous escapades and sexual antics of my youth. I know I’m a decent story teller and it’s clear enough that some of the strippers I meet enjoy my stories especially since now, as an old man, I certainly don’t look the part. Some of them undoubtedly just pretend to enjoy my stories because they want that green, folding money I have in my wallet. But most of these young ladies are lousy actresses. An older guy like me can usually tell which ones are truly captivated by my outlandish stories about traveling, living, working and fucking all over the world and which ones are just putting up with an chatty old fart. Some of them continue to waste their time listening wide-eyed to tales of my egregious bad behavior, asking questions and staying with me after I’ve told them I’m not getting any more dances and need to leave before the traffic gets any worse. I’ve run into some dancers at clubs other than the one where I first met them years before. I’m amazed at the details of my past that they can still remember from the stories I shared with them. It’s a fun way for an old guy like me to relive those deliciously outrageous shenanigans from my past that I am spectacularly unlikely to enjoy again.

Never been to a single Breastaurant in my life. I doubt if I ever will. If I want to ogle and enjoy a mutual grope with beautiful naked or nearly naked women, I know better places to go. Based on the reports I’ve received about the cuisine at most Breastaurants, if I am ever in the mood for copious servings of fried meat, fried bread and fried breaded meat or other delicacies more appropriately used to fatten cattle, I’ll head to a Breastaurant.

This is excellent! Great job! Have you sent the manuscript to Spielberg yet?

@DeanWinchester440 1. Fly to any big city in East or Southeast Asia; 2. Ask any taxi driver.

I went to strip clubs with Mrs. Hornibastard I a few times, but never went to a strip club with Mrs. Hornibastard II or Mrs. Hornibastard III. Mrs. Hornibastard I never showed any interest in getting attention from a stripper but they inspired her to try shaking her fine ass on the stage once. That was quite a turn on for both of us. https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=67302 Mrs. Hornibastard II probably would have enjoyed a strip club but we never went. But she definitely had a closeted interest in other women which I was privileged to witness on a few, special occasions. 1. https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=75052 2. https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=75076 3. https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=75104 Mrs. Hornibastard III never showed any interest in other women but has a delightful exhibitionist and voyeuristic streak which she put to good use when we lived in Jakarta and had a marvelously private backyard pool. She was more than willing to let her girl friends watch us getting sticky and, before too long, happily watched me having a good time with her girl friends (but always with the understanding that this only happened in her presence). Those were the days!

@BigThirdEye TLC = “Tender Loving Care”

Prostate cancer usually is slow growing and not very aggressive. But a close friend of mine recently died from untreated prostate cancer that spread. Worse yet, Mrs. Hornibastard III was well aware what my friend died of, so not treating my prostate cancer was never an option in my home.

It was never an official, written policy, but as a frequent customer I usually got extra TLC from my desploogination service professionals. It was a kind of, informal “Frequent Splooger Club.”

When you run across a business email that refers to a DSP (desploogination service professional), let us all know.

First, thank you very much for your kind words and encouragement. You have no idea what this means to me, coming from a gaggle of like-minded perverts and degenerates. Fingers up the ass to check your prostate are a thing of the past. My condition was caught with a blood test. I had no symptoms. Usually there are no symptoms in the early phases of prostate cancer. If you wait until you have symptoms, you’re taking a big health risk. I haven’t posted much for a long while now. I’ve been busy. I retired from retirement and once again have more work than I know what to do with. Later today I’m interviewing for more attorneys. @Jimmy McNulty - I never finished the Amanda story because nothing ever happened. Her employer promoted her and made her the manager of one of their other offices. It is still in Houston but it’s over 50 miles from where she was living (around the corner and down the street from me). So she wisely sold her home and moved about 50 miles closer to her new office. It’s been almost 20 minutes since I tried to pee. I’m gonna try again now.

No - but if I really enjoyed the dancer and if she took her time with me, I’m always very generous. The generosity pays off very well because it gives me a favorable reputation with the dancers and with the waitresses at the small number of clubs I go to with any regularity. I believe my reputation as a generous regular is why I rarely have a dry time when I go clubbing.

I’ve never been to Yellowstone NP because it’s so remote and, until I retired, I never had time to go. Gonna fix that at the end of May when my kids get out of school. Will spend almost 2 weeks in the YNP area. I made reservations (almost a year in advance) for cabins near the NE entrance to YNP and also near the south entrance. The second cabin location will give us easy access to the southern parts of YNP as well as to Grand Teton NP. I would have liked to have include Glacier NP too but couldn’t fit it into our schedule. (I’m not 100% retired.) As shadowcat astutely noted, the strip club availabilities are slim pickings in NW Wyoming. But I’ll have Mrs. Hornibastard with me and look forward to nailing her repeatedly under the stars on the large decks of the cabins I have reserved (after the kids are asleep).

I never even considered charging a strip club visit to a company account. I was never that stupid. But a boss I had when I was working as a law clerk took the entire legal team to a strip club after work one day. I assume he funded it himself and didn’t charge the strip club visit to the company. His career survived but I thought he was an idiot for taking that risk.

ATACdawg - I love the looks of 21-year old women, but I lack the patience to deal with them.