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20 years ago
Yoda, I agree with you - kissing is part of the fantasy. But, I don't think strippers do it with all their customers, mostly with those customers they like best. Kissing doesn't mean they are ready to get "married."
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20 years ago
shadowcat, I agree there are many types of men who benefit from strip clubs. I appreciate your comments and understand why you enjoy them. You express a healthy, informed, and mature attitude.
davids, obviously you are quite angry in regards to strip clubs. What happened? Share with the Board, it would make for good discussion.
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20 years ago
davids, I still don't understand why you're so angry. What's the big deal?
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20 years ago
I've spent hours making out with strippers - hours that translated into more income for the stripper. They can be slick.
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20 years ago
FONDL, as you know depression is very common in our society. Did your "mutual therapy" help either of you recover - that is, assumming you have recovered. If she benfited most, maybe she should pay you some free dances.
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20 years ago
FONDL, your comments about your depression are very fascinating. They suggest that your other relationships - that is, those outside the strip club - were insufficient to meet your emotional needs. Thus, feeling "empty and hopeless" without the strip club connections, depression developed and was intractable until your ATF relationships supervened and cured the problem - right?
I'm not being critical in any way. In fact, I admit to having similar feelings myself, although I have not experienced clinical depression. Nonetheless, I have felt a certain emptiness that was filled by going to strip clubs and developing relationships with the girls. A certain exciting anticipation or rejuvenation occurred when going into the strip club and "being" with the girls. Sometimes high energy relationships can be difficult to develop outside of strip clubs, and old established relationships can become stale.
Personally, I believe men are hard-wired to seek out exciting female relationships, especially sexual ones. Otherwise, how is the "seed" get transmitted.
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20 years ago
FONDL, I would be interested in the details - you tell a story that must be central to why many men visit strip clubs. Thus, it is valuable. In contrast to real life, the women in strip clubs are eager to meet and talk to you - although it is obviously for the money. The latter fact makes the entire experience surreal and to some extent deminishes the value. Nonetheless, stripper-customer contact works - you're a testimonial. Why pay a psychiatrist or use psychotrophic drugs, if you can get better results paying a beautiful stripper. This is another "added value to society" that strip clubs offer. But, you must use them with discretion by staying clear of the scams. Moreover, if you get too attached, you'll scare the stripper and get dumped. Your depression might deepen, not improve, if you handle yourself poorly.
Reading this Board is valuable, and the free advice is worth getting - what a bargin! Sorting through the BS can be difficult, but the many opinions expedite the learning curve.
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20 years ago
FONDL, that's a very touching story. Thank you for sharing. I bet your story is very common for many middle-aged men living in American society. It’s a story worth telling here.
What fascinates me most is that your loneliness combined with feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness – the cause of the DEPRESSION – was largely cured by meeting a younger women (who also needed you). You and she brought meaning back into each other’s life. She needed avuncular (or fatherly) mentoring, but unconsciously she may have wanted something “more.”
On the other hand, she awakened something very deep within you – something you had as a young man – but, which had faded as your children left home and your wife “moved” on emotionally and physically. That inner awakening, renewed your energy, buoyed your spirit, and cured you of the depression.
I believe the syndrome you describe develops in societies where polygamy, mistresses, and the like are taboo – for example, American society. In other societies it is socially acceptable to take a younger mistress, even father a second family. In America growing old is bad, not venerated, as it is in many societies. Yet, as a middle-aged successful male, you could easily afford and father a second wife and family – a family that would re-infuse you with feelings a value and continued self worth. In many ways you have more to offer a women now than ever in your life.
I believe there are many women – young women – who would gladly hook up with an older, mature, and secure man – that is, if it were socially sanctioned. Some women at a deep biological level would prefer it! But it’s not allowed in our society, neither for them or the middle-aged men. If you were to do this, you’d be subject to divorce, lost life savings, ostracism by your children, and emotional penury, all occurring after your life fell apart and you ended up abandoned and alone. Not worth the risk – RIGHT!
But, strip clubs offer an escape from the American cultural prison – all-be-it for now a fantasy dependent upon payment for services. (FONDLE, were you paying your friend while you were having dinner with her?) I hope our culture loosens-up and allows more social freedom. Strip clubs may be the beginnings of this positive evolution, and over the next 50 years, maybe we’ll see the taboo sugar-daddy relationships develop into socially and culturally viable institutions – to the betterment of both men and women. Good luck with your depression; I hope it never returns.
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20 years ago
My position is MAKE THEM EARN THEIR PAY!
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20 years ago
FONDL, how much money have you given her outside the strip club?
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20 years ago
I too believe that stripping is becoming more main stream for women - GOOD!
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20 years ago
Makayla, would you expand on your thoughts regarding my post above about "American Society" (i.e., agree, disagree, etc.). I would be interested in your views.
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20 years ago
TGG, Thanks for your comments. Like you, I find strippers enjoyable, but everything in moderation - both emotionally and financially. It takes a mature, well informed customer to enjoy strip clubs without getting into trouble. Some get too wrapped-up in the strippers (ie., become RIL) - a big mistake. The strippers are there to make money, not friends. Hence, go to enjoy the sights, sounds, feels, and converstion - but , remember customers are getting what they PAY for. Without that "green charm," nothing is going to happen!
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20 years ago
No doubt about it - the less attractive strippers have to "work" harder for their pay.
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19 years ago
Strippers are R-rated prostitutes - R-rated sexual service for money. Plain and simple.
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20 years ago
Lexus300, what is the age difference?
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20 years ago
Superdude and phonehome are giving you VERY GOOD ADVICE, especially if you are more than 10 years her senior. Don't be a CHUMP!
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20 years ago
Good point Dragman! Another pearl - show me a liar, and I'll show you a thief.
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20 years ago
I agree Yoda, one is R-rated, the other X-rated. Both part of the adult sex industry and both buyer beware.
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20 years ago
Yoda, you seem to know a lot about escorts....hmmmm.
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20 years ago
Yoda, you're a bona fide legend in your own mind...good for you. But, unlike you, some men don't have to buy pussy. LOL.
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20 years ago
Great post ridin, but FONDL lives for the strippers.
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20 years ago
Davids, with the correct correct attitude, knowledge, and expectations, strip clubs become nothing more than entertainment - especially non-threatening entertainment for married guys, who want to stay married. Davids, you really do need to lighten-up and quit being so sanctimonious.
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20 years ago
Phoenix, I agree - this type of stripper should be expunged from the club. She'll hurt all of the other more ethical strippers. I've been baited like this before and somehow managed to get by (mostly by luck) without getting hurt. The stripper(s) never got another dime from me.
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20 years ago
Yoda, sometimes I'm amazed at your sometimes-clueless comments. For example, above you made the condescending comment, "Mouse: Lower your eyebrows dude. No offense, but I could fill an encyclopedia with all of the things you don't know... " Then you can't seem to grasp my riposte, "Yoda, you're a bona fide legend in your own mind...good for you." You are obviously trying to convince me of your intelligence and knowledge. But, all I’m convinced of is your very high opinion of yourself. To me, your rantings come across as profound insecurity and vacuous braggadocio.
P.S. But, please don’t take offense.