What would you do ?

Good point Dragman! Another pearl - show me a liar, and I'll show you a thief.

If a women will leave someone for you, she will leave you for someone later!

Superdude and phonehome are giving you VERY GOOD ADVICE, especially if you are more than 10 years her senior. Don't be a CHUMP!

Yoda asked if you were still spending money on her while you had this "relationship" if you were then I seriously think that you got played by this woman.

Most dancers will always try to claim that they are not married or don't have a boyfriend because they are afraid that if they said otherwise it would discourage guys. There are also the ones that will tell some guys (sometimes) that they are married, "but getting divorced" It's always a done deal, they are "just waiting for the paperwork to get finished in two or three months" and always part of it is that they really like you and want to be with you "after the divorce is final" I guess they figure that this will encourage the "knight in shining armor" in some of guys. These guys figure that if they can stay here in the right place at the right time that they will end up with the girl.

After that 2 or 3 months has grown to 6 or 7 and the divorce still isn't final, when she can tell that maybe the guy is getting a little impatient, is when suddenley she has decided to "give him one last chance" "we are doing it for the kids" is a popular excuse. At this point she probably has someone else sucked into the front end of this scam.

When she called you again after, IMO that was just an attempt to real you back in and see if she could get you to go for another few months and few thousand worth of "it's just a paperwork drill" scam.

As Wayne Gretsky said; "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take..." But, Super Dude was right is his way as well, so take it easy, and don't expect much. She sounds like a user to me. But you might as well find out in person...at least you may have one hell of a night...

Lexus300, what is the age difference?

Many years ago I was an officer stationed on a destroyer out of Newport, RI. A fellow officer had a girlfriend who wanted to fix me up with a friend of hers. I said OK and we arranged to meet at a bar downtown. I arrived at the appointed time and saw the 3 of them sitting at the bar - my friend, his girl friend, and a cute little blonde. And I immediately knew with absolute certainty that two things were going to happen, (1) that I was going to fall madly in love with this girl, and (2) that she would ultimately tear my heart out and throw it away. Did I turn around and leave? No way. I fell head over heels for this girl and we went steady for 6 wonderful months. Then the ship left on an extended cruise and when I returned she had lost interest in me. And the ensuing months were without doubt the most painful experiencce of my life. If I had it to do over again, would I? In a heartbeat.

Lexus, none of us can advise you on what to do. We don't know nearly enough facts about the situation, nor do we know your risk profile. But it does sound like it's a defining moment in your life, just like the episode above was in mine. Just remember that actions have consequenses which are often unknowable at the time. If you aren't prepared to handle the consequensces, avoid the actions. I'm glad I took the risk. But that's me, I'm a hopeless romantic.

Lex: Where you still spending money on her inside the club while you where carrying on this relationship?

I second what SuperDude said. It may seem to be presumptuous to claim authority in these matters, but I do qualify as one.

It's over. She was alone on New Year's Eve and needed someone to talk to. You are now her emotional crutch, her spare, her backup for days when her husband is not acting right. Do you want that? The second breakup will be even more heartache. Don't do it, man. Just walk away.

Caution, possible slippery ice ahead, oops got the weather forecast here by accident.

JUMP BACK IN!!! (Assuming you're a He-Man. ;) )

I think she is worth talking to but don't take things fast. You set the pace of things not her.