Strippers who dislike the customers

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docsavage
Indiana
What percentage of strippers in a strip club actually dislike the customers? After 15 years of strip club trips I would guess half. I feel like the half who do like me view me as someone who gives them money to help pay their bills and take care of them a little bit. I am not the handsome guy or the charming guy, just the guy who takes care of them a little bit.

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avatar for vanillaextract
vanillaextract
8 months ago
It really depends on the club. Some clubs “higher end” or with a different culture or management it can be up to 98% will default not like you or scam you. The guys who go to clubs like these are guys who don’t know better and think a disinterested hot girl is an upscale experience or just guys who are deprived and accept any behavior. Then the better clubs depending on the day 90-95% will be happy to see you but on average 7/10 will be happy to see you. Give more specifics about the club you go to it’s hard to give an average
avatar for DandyDan
DandyDan
8 months ago
My initial thought was "They're all actresses, they hate all of us". Thinking about it a little more, it's reasonable to think some dislike all the customers and some dislike some. I wouldn't want to guess how many, though.
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Nixur68
8 months ago
I don't know because does it matter? The United States is a really, really big Country and some clubs are very different than others.

That said, the whole night club industry can really grind people down but at the same time it's sad here to that a lot of the talent is frequently jaded especially post pandemic.
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skibum609
8 months ago
I was sitting with a dancer with whom I had spent a lot of time within prior years having a few cocktails and chatting, when I said I really dislike my clients sometimes. I had given her Court advice on a number of occassions so she was aware of what I do. She didn't have her guard up and in her relaxed state sighed and responded: "I know exactly what I mean, I hate every one of my customers". A moment of silence and then I laughed. She turned red and said: 'present company excluded" and I responded, "I never thought otherwise".
I was not offended since I always assumed their feelings ran from no feelings at all to hatred. Don't care either. This is entertainment and while I understand this is different for all, I literally see the hobby as the same as poker or golf, so staring Saturday night at 6:30 and ending somewhere at 10 p.m. Sunday night it will be poker, a few hours of shut eye, golf and the club. All hobbies.
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RTP
8 months ago
There was a bartender at the club I frequent who disliked most of the customers (she was also a former dancer). She was always complaining that "they don't tip enough", "they are rude", ... She really was not nice to me either, and I always tipped $3 on a $10 drink, never really said much to her but thank you, I even bought one of her weed laced muffins. (That almost got me in real trouble.)

I think she just was not happy in her current place in life, but who knows. She eventually got fired, no one would say why, but the bar at that club is a much friendlier place these day.
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shailynn
8 months ago
I’ve been in sales for over twenty years, hundreds of clients. I may have dealt with twenty different people as my point of contact for just one client over twenty plus years, so that would mean several hundred people I have crossed paths with.

Out of all those people there’s probably less than a dozen of them I’d want to be friends with. Even though you may like someone through contact at work, it’s hard to disconnect that work relationship and your personal life. Also, there’s a big different between coworkers and customers. Unless you’re a DJ at a strip club, you’ll always be a customer when entering a strip club to most dancers.
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59
8 months ago
I'm thinking 75%+. The job is a means to an end ($). Dealing with customers is a necessary evil. I've known some strippers for 10+ years and have heard them vent. If half of what they say is true, I can understand the dislike.
avatar for Dolfan
Dolfan
8 months ago
I'd guess the percentage who would respond "Strongly Agree" to the question "Do you dislike the customers at your job" on a survey of some sort would be very high, probably over 90%. But, I feel like many of the strippers who cultivate regulars have a few they don't mind. Maybe they're not people they'd seek out as friends, but they don't really dislike them.

I don't think that's too dissimilar to how I feel about my co-workers, clients, vendors, etc. If I was asked if I like them, my answer would be no. But there's a few I'd go have a beer with from time to time. And a larger number I don't really like, but I don't mind either. They're the kind of people I wouldn't invite to anything, but if they were +1's of friends I wouldn't avoid inviting that friend because of their +1.



avatar for Muddy
Muddy
8 months ago
From where I’m sitting I would say it’s 50/50. Some are total sweethearts to me (might not feel that way deep down but at least they don’t show it) and some look at you like the asshole you truly are. The former get my money.

I will say the customer relationship you guys bring up it’s a little different. I mean are you trying bang your auto mechanic?
avatar for GroovyMan
GroovyMan
8 months ago
your'e probably a little delusional with your 50% calculation. You should speak with the security guards or doormen and when they tell you the truth 95% of the women who work here hate their customers. They'll say everything they hate about you to their friends. Even the ones who have said nothing but nice things they'll find something to complain about.
avatar for azdd
azdd
8 months ago
Maybe there’s a distinction between hate and resentment. I like to delude myself that most of my regulars don’t hate me, some really seem to like me, but I also think they may resent the fact that they have to push their nipple into my mouth and grind my dick to make money. I have regulars that I really think enjoy my company, and enjoy giving me pleasure, but it’s never lost on me that they know they could have done better with their lives. It’s not personal (usually), but I think many dancers resent the fact that they are not pursuing their dreams, but doing this instead.
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Puddy Tat
8 months ago
They're service providers, similar to my mechanic or barber, with the key difference that their service is to grind on me or get me off. That forces them to decouple real feelings from sexual acts, and that builds a big cognitive dissonance. This profession also attracts the hot but bitchy, manipulative (used to using T&A to get their way in other transactions), or resentful, and often with adverse sexual experiences in the past.
I would say 75% actively dislike you, 20% are lukewarm or see you as just a means to an end, and 5% actually like you as a person.
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TheSingularity
8 months ago
Conservatively 90%.
avatar for shailynn
shailynn
8 months ago
Additional thought…

If you’re making money - a lot of money off one customer (at least for me) they become much more tolerable and their “issues” are a lot more easy to brush off, although it always seems like my customers that I don’t make great money from but I have to still conduct business with are the biggest pain in the ass.
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georgmicrodong
8 months ago
0%. They all love us. Just ask them!
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ilbbaicnl
8 months ago
Mostly indifferent. When you were in your 20s, how many 40+ friends did you have? I think the daddy issues stereotype is somewhat because strippers who allow older customers to get to know them are more likely to not have had a good relationship with their fathers. Any sales job tends to attract people with domineering personalities. Domineering behavior can seem hostile, but I'm not sure it really counts as hostile. Letting rando strangers paw you is not easy to get use to. Some people adapt to it more successfully than others. If you're depressed and frustrated because you feel stripped of your dignity every time you go to work, questionable that counts as disliking customers. If you're low empathy and entitled, you will be more disliked.
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rickdugan
8 months ago
In order to attempt to assess this, I'd have to care enough to pay very particular attention to certain things. But since I don't really care, I truly have no idea.

I can only control my own behaviors and feelings. I won't tolerate outright disrespect, which tbh I haven't encountered for a very long time (at least to my face lol), but otherwise I have a very thick skin.
avatar for RonJax2
RonJax2
8 months ago
I've opinioned on this topic a lot via snoo forums, before.

One thing people miss in this discussions is that it's possible to simultaneously feel two ways about the same thing. The "duality of man" thing.

This is how I honestly feel about most of my clients. They annoy the shit out of me and a bitch about them all the time, yet, I can also find common ground and enjoy a beer with most when the situation calls for it.
avatar for Hank Moody
Hank Moody
8 months ago
Work + alcohol/drugs + competing with coworkers + theft + emotions + physical contact = 100%. Definitely not all the time, but always sometimes.

I don’t care about the ones I don’t interact with as long as they aren’t disrespectful. If I decline their approach just take my no. I’m fairly polite and respectful to the ones I do business with and I like to think they like me, but due to the equation above, occasionally I fall out of favor sometimes. Regrettable sometimes, but it happens.

That’s my experience for myself. The rest of you guys? Yeah, they all definitely hate you.
avatar for gSteph
gSteph
8 months ago
What ?!?
Not Sunshine. She likes me.
Told me that 1st time we danced.
Said I had nice hands 👋

Course she did kinda short me on time our last dance.

Hmmm . . .
avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
8 months ago
Never thought much about it.
avatar for CJKent_band
CJKent_band
8 months ago
@docsavage

I will play along and answer your question.

Q: What percentage of strippers in a strip club actually dislike the customers?

A: 100%

Strip clubs are, like most capitalist businesses, places where exploitation of workers takes place.

As part of the stripper work culture there is Hostility and abuse including verbal, physical and job-related threats, along with the “general abuse and hostility” because it is a very complicated work environment.

Strippers experience mistreatment from verbal abuse to racial or sexual harassment/assault, whether any harm was meant by the customer who many times is oblivious to his own actions.



avatar for Alfredo_Darke
Alfredo_Darke
8 months ago
Interesting subject. I think it's a real mix, some don't want to do this, but have seen their bodies will give them a good income, so do do it while hating themselves for doing it. And naturally, hate us for enabling that. Those are pretty easy to spot, they often go right to "Want a dance?" and aren't big on the small talk. But I have had some dancers that seem to just enjoy hanging out for a bit, that really do seem to enjoy what they are doing. There was this one dancer at Mon Venus many years ago, she was just a sweetheart, she would sit in your lap for several dances and just talk, she was so nice. Yes, maybe she was just a good actress, but I remember once I walked in, the place was packed, and she was onstage dancing. She looked pretty bored, but then she saw me, her face lit up into a big smile, and she gave me a little wave.
And that's the thing, I think it really depends on the dancer. Some hate what they do, but others - they are just really open with themselves and don't mind sharing themselves with others. Those do seem to be in the minority, I go through a lot of dancers before finding those rare gems.
avatar for WiseToo
WiseToo
8 months ago
It depends on the customer. The stripper may dislike herself for doing the type of work she does, but make no mistake she values or "likes" customers who make her job easier such as those who are well groomed, in shape, have money, and don't give her a hard time (pun intended) vs having to put up with beligerent out of shape drunk slobs. I would say 10% fall into the "likes" category.
avatar for From978
From978
8 months ago
I long ago decided that affection doesn't have to be real; it just has to be good enough to fool me. And under the right circumstances, I'm pretty easy to fool, and I'm even willing to spell out the best way to do it.

I've also found that you can accomplish a lot more with a kind word and a $100 bill than with a kind word alone. She may not love me, but her love of paying the rent is completely sincere, and some of that will rub off (if you'll pardon the expression) on me.
avatar for dickdecker
dickdecker
8 months ago
I think 99% are indifferent to you. The job can be very boring and monotonous on a slow day and I guess it's interesting to talk to some of us PL's. But mostly it's all business and they tolerate us proportionate to how much money is transacted. It's hard for a man and a woman to have a friendship, or an old person and younger person or people from very, very different backgrounds. I've had very pleasant interactions with many different people for brief period of time, but I wouldn't say I've liked them. Yes there are some dancers I've had 'friendships' with but money was alway lurking in the background.
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shailynn
8 months ago
Name another job where you can get drunk while working and it’s okay. Actually even encouraged at some clubs.
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chiefwiggum
8 months ago
I waiver back and forth on this. This is a routine discussion amongst my friends. When I first started clubbing, I thought it was 50% indifferent, 25% hate or intense dislike (as in how many people really like their jobs) and 25% generally like their customers.

When I started traveling more, especially to podunk places, I started to think these girls really don't like their jobs and that number rose to like 90% for me. What of the things my group discussed is how many times you see girls just sitting on their phones? They must limit their customer base to like a small hand full as those few are who these girls can tolerate.
But, as I got into a more managerial and selling role, unless you're a true sociopath, you have to show earnest and likeability to your customers. In this role, I travelled more and started hitting higher end clubs, especially in Vegas where we more traveling dancers. These girls know it's a business and they treat it as such. That doesn't mean there still aren't dancer with bad situations, daddy issues and drug dependency, but those girls typically don't last long. My conversations with the Cuban invasion lead me to think they prioritize business and customer service.

TLDR, I'm more of a 50% indifferent; 35% like, and 15% hate.
avatar for dannyboy3
dannyboy3
8 months ago
In my experience, I'd say 15% hate, 50+ dislike, 20% are neutral and the remainder "like" but in most cases like means pleasantly disposed towards, not actually friends or romantic interests. I think that is rare.
avatar for ClubFan81077
ClubFan81077
8 months ago
I've known dancers who genuinely liked me as a person, and more than one instance where there were some actual feelings involved from her side. Does this happen a lot? No, of course not. Most of the time, the best that I hope for is that we have a good time together, and that she thinks to herself "hey, this guy's not too bad, I'd dance with him anytime". But I've had a few that were much stronger connections than that, so it can happen with the right two people...
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Call.Me.Ishmael
8 months ago
It's something I can't control, so I don't worry or contemplate about it very much.
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Brahma2k
8 months ago
They’ll tolerate(or better) or dislike(or worse) based upon environment and customer averages. It’s normal human adaptation. Within the parameters of it being a monetary transaction interaction, if you are dressed in clean clothes, have bathed(no BO), combed your hair, if face to face up close to her - don’t have bad breath, and you tip decently? You’ve likely reached at least the the tolerate level.
I got this wisdom, largely, from a non tuscler who should be a vet tuscler.
avatar for Huntsman
Huntsman
8 months ago
I really have no idea what the percentage of dislike is. The dancers are trying to make a living charming horny guys like me, so their actual opinion of me isn’t going to be something they put front and center. In addition, I take anything I hear in a club with a grain of salt anyway.

In the end, I try to not give anyone a legitimate reason to dislike me. But I don’t control anyone else’s true opinion of me. If they choose to have an opinion, that’s on them and I don’t greatly concern myself with what they actually think.
avatar for Jascoi
Jascoi
8 months ago
yeah... we are just a source of money to most.
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Jascoi
8 months ago
if we are lucky to have a connection for more than a moment we're doing good.
avatar for Mate27
Mate27
8 months ago
Hell I agree with strippers who don’t like their customers, because I don’t like them either. Anytime a customer tries to strike up a conversation with me I’ll give a one word answer and find somewhere else in the club to sit. Don’t talk to me, just tip the ladies and shut up.
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Jascoi
8 months ago
i don't mind talking with some fellow customer for a few sentences when it's slow.
avatar for Manuellabore
Manuellabore
8 months ago
I would have no idea how dancers I’ve encountered in one-off or sporadic situations feel about me, but assume that they are indifferent. It takes a lot of unnecessary energy to hate some rando for no reason, and I don’t give them any reason to hate me. I’m clean, respectful, try to be engaging, and, most importantly, generally tip generously. I make their work environment better than if I wasn’t there. That’s not to say that there aren’t the occasional encounters that are complete misconnections for which the dancers blame and therefore dislike me. C’est la vie

I’m confident that the very small handful of dancers I spend time with on a recurring basis, with whom I am not only physically intimate but also have extensive conversations, like me, recognizing that they wouldn’t give me the time of day if there wasn’t money involved. I believe it because I like them personally, and it would be even more difficult for them to convincingly fake reciprocal plstonic affection over many encounters than it would be to convincingly fake orgasms. This is probably due to the fact that my core demographic tends to be single moms in their 30s who, while they may still like to party, tend to be more grounded than younger dancers. They also tend not to be skeeved out by older customers
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skibum609
8 months ago
Mate27 gets mad when fellow homosexuals in the club want to speak to him? They have gaydar asshole so you ain't fooling them boy.
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Manuellabore
8 months ago
I'm a 100% loner at the clubs and have zero interest in conversing with fellow patrons. Not what I'm there for. Broke my own rule yesterday though, because a man was sitting at the bar next to the hottest little dancer at the club, a bubbly Peruvian spinner, but they were having minimal conversation, in Spanish, and she was mostly just scrolling her phone. So, when she disappeared for a few moments, I sucked it up and chatted him up a bit, as best I could about the girl. He pointe me out to her when she returned and I gave her a little smile and wave, but she just returned to her phone. So, I moseyed over and asked Pedro (the name he had given me) if he minded if i had a dance with his "girlfriend". That broke the ice a bit. Turns out she is very new to dancing and just super shy. So, the dances weren't all that great (it is a low to zero mileage club anyway), but I have no regrets. Sometimes having a hot, barely clad young woman sitting on your lap and giggling at your corny jokes is good enough.
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stripperlover777
8 months ago
I Think It Depends On The Individule Customer/Club Type, Not The Other Of The Broad Spectrum. There R Too Many 50/50 Situations Of Likes/Dislikes With The Dancers & The Client's. My Experiences Were That The Dancers Were Good To Me. Makes Me Sick That Guys Can Score OTC, I Have Not, But Haven't Pushed For It. Some Times, I Was Hustled For $$$, Other Times I Chilled Out Like It Was A Dream. I Found It's The Style Type Of The Club That Influences How The Dancers Act. ⚡ ⚡ ⚡
avatar for SquareCastle
SquareCastle
8 months ago
I’d say most, if not all of my regulars are indifferent to me in general and that’s exactly how I want it. They do love my money though and that’s the whole point. Most of them know I’m with someone in the real world, either through conversation (I’m usually asked if I have a wife or gf) or peripheral gossip as I’m cool with many of the bouncers and DJs who know a bit of my backstory. I have boundaries like they have boundaries and that translates to having boundaries when fostering emotional connections - which I do not do. As a result, I’m rather tone deaf when it comes to being able to delineate whether they like me or not because I meet their monetary expectations and they meet my ITC needs. In other words, I could care less as long as they do what they promise to do. And they could care less as I pay them well. A better question would be if you think dancers are good enough “actresses” to provide you with great service in spite of their disdain for any said customer.
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dr_lee
8 months ago
I legit believe like 80 to 90% don’t really like customers. But I’m talking more from my experience because I’m super picky about who I get dances from. My standards in dancers are way higher than most guys’ standards. There might be like 1 to 3 dancers I’m REALLY interested in when I go to a club on any given day or night. I’ve had a very few dancers who really seem to be into me for whatever reason, though. Id say like 2 to 3% of dancers that I actually like a lot also like me equally.
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
8 months ago
Ironically, if you want strippers to like you, don't feel entitled to know what they really think/feel about anything. Strippers do what's OK with them to give you sexual pleasure. Many make extra money (or their main money) by providing simulated intimacy. It's at their discretion, you much or little you get to know the real them.
avatar for 5footguy
5footguy
8 months ago
Knowing that everyone lies with their words and that these are good actresses, I like to use sex as a gauge. Sometimes I can tell she's not into it. For example, we've fucked many times, this time it was only average. You know, the kind of average sex that happens with a regular partner after you've fucked hundreds of times. Other times her pussy is soaked before we even start, my dick is covered in creamy vaginal discharge within a few minutes (not the kind created by a bacterial infection), her face flushes red, and her leg muscles quiver at an involuntarily high rate. Whether she likes ME or not, this latter experience tells me that the interaction was good for her. She can moan like a bad porn actress and talk dirty with her words, but biology only speaks the truth.
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HoneyDewMelons
8 months ago
In my experience I have in general liked most of my customers the only ones that I really get disgusted over are the ones who sort of physically try to restrain me and only give me like a dollar tip like they're doing me a favor now honestly I'm talking about many years ago when I worked and then they start talking some b******* about how they like to take me out and I'm like dude if you're trying to hold me here for 5 minutes and you're only giving me a dollar or two then your cheap as s*** so no thanks
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Book Guy
8 months ago
Personally, I don't like humans. So I find it a bit of a stretch to figure out why strippers would like customers.

But if you mollify your perspective a bit, and simply think in terms of other fields of sales, I think it pans out quite similarly. Car salesmen don't "like" or "dislike" most of their customers, because they don't KNOW those people in any context except the car sales floor. Similar with dancers. They like, or dislike, the small slice of each customer's life that they've seen. If he's good at being a good customer -- polite, proper level of expectations, clean and happy and hygienic, pleasant to be around, pays well, gives more and expects less (within reason, but not to the extent that she thinks she can exploit him) -- then she thinks he's an enjoyable experience AS A CUSTOMER. And that's all she'll ever know of him; she'll only ever know him AS A CUSTOMER.

The problem is what strippers take home with them. Read any of a number of stripper-discussion web-boards and you'll see, many of them have become male-haters. This is unreasonable of them. If all their customers are bad at being customers, then maybe they need to consider what the common denominator in all those experiences is. Is it her bad actions bringing out the men's bad behavior? Her attitude? Is it the club? The type of men that attend? You don't hear a lot about car salesmen deciding to hate ALL HUMANS WHO TRY TO BUY CARS. Dancers who take home a genuine hatred of ALL MEN are using a limited sample and really need to figure out why they're engaging in all-or-nothing and group-is-evil type logical fallacies. It's emotionally damaged, to think ALL HUMAN MALES must be evil, but stripping pushes more strippers that direction than, perhaps, reasonable.
avatar for Manuellabore
Manuellabore
8 months ago
5footguy raises a good point. In the real world, if you’re in an intimate relationship and the woman isn’t feeling like having sex for some reason, you’re just not having sex. OTOH, a dancer with bills to pay isn’t necessarily going to be in the same position to decline sex, especially with a regular. While as a smart businesswoman she might not overtly signal her unhappiness with the situation, it’s not going to endear her to even her most loyal and generous customer, who has no clue where her mind is at. In an ongoing situation, I would still expect the negative feelings to be short lived
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rickmacrodong
6 months ago
One thing to keep in mind is even people in relationships, marriages etc often dont like their partner. Most marriages and relationships are done because the woman wants someone with status or money or both, and the man wants sex maybe money. Even in so called genuine relationships they are still done for money or status related reasons. You dont need to have both but you do need at least one.
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