Dancer on her way to ATF status really off tonight

You were paying her for just lapdances? When you “shelled out a bunch of money for VIP”, what did you shell out and was it just on lapdances?

Just stop seeing her. Some non extras dancers get very comfortable when you keep seeing them and get lazier and more complacent.

And some non extras dancers also put more effort into talking and conversation. They have to, to try to keep people coming back.

She can’t really be an Atf if she doesnt provide extras. Maybe shes just the best at that particular club

Ive noticed some of the non extras dancers and strict non gfe escorts will really start yapping away trying to make all sorts of conversation. I think its a business strategy.

Based on your description of her behavior, is it safe to say that she might also have consumed a bit too much alcohol by that point? If the answer to that question is 'YES', then I'd say it was probably just an unfortunate combination of her being both fatigued, AND a little bit too buzzed at the same time. And if she was a little too buzzed, that might have made her oblivious to the fact that she was basically giving you a really subpar experience...

Anyway, it's never any fun when a dancer you've looked forward to seeing throws in a complete dud of an effort, so sorry to hear about how your night went.

As for how to proceed next, it would be understandable if you choose to give her another chance, or if you choose not to. If I were in your shoes, my next interaction with her would probably carry a lot of weight in my decision on how to proceed. If she's genuinely apologetic before I can even bring up the subject, and maybe even offers some type of reasonable explanation, then I'd probably give her another chance. If I have to bring it up myself, and she seems oblivious to my concerns on top of that, then I'm likely to never dance with her again. There's no right or wrong answer here, of course. It just depends on how you feel about her, and whether or not she makes things right from your perspective...

Good luck, my friend. Let us know how it turns out if you'd like...

Thanks for the reply, Chunky. I did a block of a few songs for a total of $60 (this takes place in a room with couches), and then another block in a bit more private area for $100. With a few other things, probably only spent $200 total tonight. I'm just taken aback at the no-effort performance.

Might go in next Tuesday or Wednesday and try one of the other girls that work those days. This is a small club in a smallish town, and usually there are only 3 girls working Tuesday & Wednesday nights (she's one of them). And usually there's very minimal customers there those days. She's had my attention and money for awhile, so a switch to another girl will be noticeable and might very well piss her off. Oh well.

ClubFan--

She doesnt drink. She gave up drinking at work months ago and this seems to be the truth. She only ever drinks water and has politely declined drinks every time I've offered her one. She specifically mentioned to me tonight that she didn't drink anything, and I believe her. I think it's just she hasn't been getting any sleep. Her actual behavior, however, was the same as someone who is tipsy heading toward drunk. So you can imagine how it went.

I was already thinking about the idea you suggested yourself. I'm going to pay very close attention to the beginning of my next interaction with her. If she apologizes, or is back to her sweet, soft-spoken cuddly self, it'll all be ok. Otherwise....eh...
I'm moving on.

I also think it was probably bad for me to develop an emotional attachment to her that, embarrassingly for me, may have been the beginnings of me falling for her a little bit. I really should know better than this. I've always had the most fun at these clubs when I'm just enjoying the high mileage dances in a sexual way, without trying to project other emotional stuff onto it. We'll see what happens.

@IronFox22

As you said, it's a whole lot easier if you can keep those pesky emotions at bay! If you can enjoy the experience for what it usually is, rather than what the heart sometimes hopes it might become, then it's easier for you to deal with the sometimes unpredictable nature of these customer/dancer interactions...

I like your plan...see how she behaves the next time you see her, and then go from there!

I’m a dancer, and I’d suggest giving her another try on another night because we go through a lot of b.s. in a night and sometimes we are off, cause of the alcohol, the club drama, or staff harassing us. It really is hard sometimes to be good at our job with all the other club stuff going on, and b.s. from customers. I guess that’s why so many of us drink.

She claimed she didn't "drink" anything, but that doesn't mean she was clean from other substances. I've seen girls go a bit off the rails after taking E.

As the above dancer stated, she may have just been having a bad day. It is unfortunate that you wasted money, though.

You didn't notice her being off during the initial interaction? If you did, shame on you for continuing on.

Remember one thing...these are paid companions...not girlfriends or any other person you need to coddle for any reason other than to build up your database of regular girls.

If she doesn't perform up to expectations/standard, cut her loose.

Treat it the same as a bad meal at a restauarant. Try again, or don't try again, but don't whine to her about it.

Just try her again and see if it's better. If you don't sense the old vibe after a few minutes of engaging with her, cut her loose without drama.

It is also possible that in addition to / instead of her demeanor being because of being tired, it could have been because she felt she could pull back on her game, as she viewed you as a regular.

While I certainly allow some leeway with regulars that I wouldn't accept from others, I don't ever accept past a certain level of lower performance.

Suppose, for whatever reason, your rate of income dropped, so you cut back on tipping in the club. Should the strippers feel cheated by that? If she had cut you back to one way from two way contact, I would call that ROB or at least borderline. But, for most people at least, clicking with someone that well is relatively rare. If she could fake it convincingly, when she wasn't feeling it, she'd probably be in Hollywood.

Sex workers provide a sexual outlet without commitments, with minimal expectations from the customer. Only a brave fraction of women are willing to take this work on, and they generally don't get the appreciation from customers that they should. Think of it as her tip to you, when she fills some emotional needs as well as sexual ones. Come when the club is slow, to have a better chance at that. When the club is busy, she should be focusing on not leaving any money on the table. That's just basic adult behavior, when somebody is in an occupation they are likely to age out of in their thirties.

“ She's had my attention and money for awhile, so a switch to another girl will be noticeable and might very well piss her off.”

As an experiment just do it and then tell us if anything notable happened @ironfox22

Another example of why daytime clubbing is better than nighttime clubbing.

Maybe she just had something going on or matched OPs energy. Or ahe didnt think the money was enough to stay in character.

Customers who throw fits coz the dancer isnt playing a role for them are some of the most hated

Sounds like she was probably drunk or high. Laughing at your own jokes is a sign of that.

If either a dancer or a customer is having a bad day, they have the option of letting the other know that in advance. With regulars, especially, both the dancer and the customer should already have some established comfort level with each other, and already have certain expectations for how things are going to go. If neither party communicates that there is some kind of problem at the moment, or that something has fundamentally changed, or that there is a desire for something to be different, then both are likely to expect that their next interaction will be similar to their previous ones...

Good relationships need good communication. If the dancer is disappointing the customer, or the customer is disappointing the dancer, or they're both disappointing each other, it doesn't take a rocket surgeon to figure out that the relationship probably ain't gonna last much longer...

My ATF and I had a ridiculously good relationship, and it was hugely beneficial for both of us. Our relationship was so good, neither of us could possibly go out and just replace the other. So it should come as a surprise to absolutely no one that on a scale of 1 to 10, our communication level with each was somewhere around a 30...

ChatGPT will always (seem to) find you interesting, and it never gets tired. I guess psychologists have found that people who are the least delusional are most prone to depression. You'll probably be happier, if you can get into a "relationship" with ChatGPT, rather than one with a fav stripper. youtube.com

If you judge a stripper for being drunk or high so she can do her job. You wont be left with many that suit your criteria. They do it so they can bare to be around certain types of customers. Regardless. Shes a person. Not an inanimate object you play with

I have always avoided visiting a stripper multiple times a week or asking her personal questions because I think some dancers worry about overly obsessed regulars turning into stalkers. I want to signal I like them but I have other things going on in my life. I have talked to many regulars in 16 years of strip club visits and they almost all have had at least one stalker to deal with. Potential stalkers is something they often worry about because of previous bad experiences with them.

@docsavage @gordieboi i think they want guys obsessed with them at least when it comes to in the club customers. The obsessed guys will spend more money and the club security will prevent them doing anything. Its when it comes to OTC that things like trust and fear of stalkers come more into play

@GordieBoi exactly, good points. Another way to avoid obsession is porno and jerking off. Its a sea-saw- if youre too much into porn you need to go after real chicas more… and vice versa

@GordieBoi i forgot to add there is that small % of dancers, sex workers who are looking for a relationship or sugardaddy of sorts- in which case they may want a more obsessed guy for otc in the hopes of turning it into a relationship with perks like moving in with the guy or some sort of sugar daddy thing. Or getting more money

Or just if the obsessed guy happens to be someone very wealthy or rare

A customer CHOOSES to give a dancer money whther itc or otc. Know what your intentions are and dont spend more than what you can afford and you wont have buyers remorse.