Why doesn't SC'ing feel like cheating?

Maybe there’s not much of an emotional connection with your CF?

I agree never do otc stick to low risk activities in the club cheaper to keep her and the once or twice I month she wants to fuck fine. She really isn’t very good in bed hasn’t been for years so I close my eyes and think of one of the strippers I did vip with

The brutal truth is many marriages have been over for awhile before a spouse seeks out strip club experiences.

It’s easy - you go - you get it in - and you leave. It’s like one stop shopping - it’s convenient - it’s not messy - and it’s over. You can then go home and kiss your wife good night...

A lot of PL's don't worry about their personal integrity. And then I guess the women just feel that they have no choice but to go along with it.

SJG

AceMag69 said "I've had thoughts of the whole side h*es thing but it's just not for me. I feel an overwhelming sense of guilt JUST from texting so that's just something I can't do."

But no guilt, apparently, when offering an immigrant stripper $200 for an hour of sex via text, and then texting "what's your price?" when she (amazingly...) didn't accept right away.

/discussion.php

And though texting to a woman makes you feel horrible, the only thing stopping you from getting a bareback blowie from a porn star isn't your marriage, but rather your fear of catching the herp.

/discussion.php

Hey! You know, I think I just figured out why going to a strip club doesn't feel like cheating to you...

You're a dick.

@Call.Me.Ishmeal I see that you've went through and found my previous post. That's pretty cool haha... But c'mon dawg. You don't know me well enough to call me a dick. You only know what I post (which I could definitely see how I sound like a dick)...... I won't bore you with details, but I have been hurt badly many times by my dear Wife. Now I'm not saying that 2 wrongs make a right... But that is my reason of why I started visiting SC's in the last 2 months and how my mind got fixated on other women in the first place. I've always been a one woman man in all my relationships. I have never cheated (besides my visits to the SC and the thoughts that I have in my heart recently), but as you see... I have been on the verge of actually physically cheating because of my frustration at home...

@Call.Me.Ishmael & you are incorrect about my only fear of bareback bj is getting herpes instead of thoughts of my marriage. My fear would be me getting something because obviously she would get it as well...

Ace - you gotta sort issues out with your wife, man. It won't be easy but really what is?

@DenimChicken & I would love to work things out with my Wife bro, but I just don't know what to do anymore. It's like we try to get on track, but the instant something doesn't go her way she talks about divorce. Every. Single. Time. I don't know how to build something solid when I feel like I'm alone in this... I guess SC'ing is my way of trying to fill a void because of being miserable at home. I love her dearly, but I am miserable at the same time... Kinda sucks

^^^^ Marriage Councilor or Divorce Lawyer.

You don't find too many of these dancing at strip clubs.

But I do feel for you bro, trying to survive a horrid marriage. Eventually though you do have to act.

SJG

-->@Cashman: "The brutal truth is many marriages have been over for awhile before a spouse seeks out strip club experiences."

I wouldn't say always "over" but yes for sure some dissatisfaction. And then SCing becomes so fun, addicting or emotionally entangled that for a PL with and SO, the PL's thought life is more connected to CF than to SO.

"Divorce is always good news.

I know that sounds weird, but it's true because no good marriage has ever ended in divorce …

That would be sad.

If two people were married and they were really happy and they just had a great thing and then they got divorced, that would be really sad.

But that has happened zero times."

~ CK

If you're doing something sexual with another woman that has to be kept a secret... then you're cheating. If you've done some mental / emotional gymnastics to delude yourself otherwise, that's on you.

But it's cheating.

I haven't abandoned my original premise that you're a dick. But I'll add that perhaps the time you spend seeking counsel from anonymous perverts on a strip club message board would be better spent in marriage counseling.

The OP is a reincarnated form of DC or CC Witt his beta cuck stories.

OP - if you don’t have kids already, make sure it stays that way.

@Call.Me.Ishmael Haha ok tough guy

I'm not a tough guy.

But if you come to a message board with a long tradition of blunt answers, then you shouldn't be surprised when you get blunt answers.

@Call.Me.Ishmael Fair enough

From my experience, men and women look at cheating very differently.

The key is what does your partner think: if you keep it a secret from her regardless of the actual act she most likely will consider it cheating.

My wife doesn't view it as cheating but she doesn't like it either. She doesn't like the thought of other women groping on me and it makes her upset. She used to turn a blind eye to it all but lately she's voiced her disapproval of it all to me after trying to work with me on it.

Knowing all this makes it hard for me to be in a strip club. I don't feel like I'm cheating on her but I feel like a dickhead husband that doesn't really care what my wife thinks. It's made me stop going.

I have an arrangement where if I don't get an STD or go broke and don't feel the need to talk to her about, its ok. Its a commercial transaction. I'm just renting her body

^Is your arrangement bitchslapping if she starts complaining?

^^^ Valid question.

Willy said "I have an arrangement..."

It's not an 'arrangement' if it's between you and yourself, you muppet.

-->"Knowing all this makes it hard for me to be in a strip club . . I feel like a dickhead husband. . . It's made me stop going."

Time for a change of tuscl handle to Sirlapdancealmostnever?

Normally I play along with these goofy premises but not this time. A real 24 year old guy who is sex deprived would only feel further frustrated by being teased with no release. Also a 24 year old is highly unlikely to have the $$$ to blow on strippers that frequently.

Will whoever writes this shit please leave the house once in a while? If you're going to pretend to be a young guy or a stripper then at least have a clue, lol.

"Time for a change of tuscl handle to Sirlapdancealmostnever?"

It's too soon!

I like SirLapdanceanot better.

Dumpaoad on willy... 💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩

Savor that flavor willydipshit

"Normally I play along with these goofy premises but not this time. A real 24 year old guy who is sex deprived would only feel further frustrated by being teased with no release. Also a 24 year old is highly unlikely to have the $$$ to blow on strippers that frequently."

Could be a troll but isn't op describing most marriages? Unless you found a unicorn and you're an exception, plenty of married men have said(first hand to me and on the internet) once you get married is when the sex stops. Or a minimum amount of pity/duty sex. They let themselves go and get fat. They have a million and 1 reasons for why they dont wanna have sex. Once you marry her she has what she wants. If op(or any married man that frequents sex workers) was satisfied with the wife, they wouldn't bother paying hookers and strippers.

Maybe some of it has to do with being surrounded by other possibly married men doing the same thing and somehow that makes it less guilty feeling as opposed to being in a truly 1:1 private area with another woman. Just a thought...

'Guiltless by association' isn't a thing.

'Misery loves company' is, though.

Well, there's that...

===> "If op(or any married man that frequents sex workers) was satisfied with the wife, they wouldn't bother paying hookers and strippers."

That is a rather naive viewpoint. Sometimes the unfamiliar is more exciting than the familiar, no matter how good it is. I've seen others make this same comment and it almost always seems to originate from men who haven't been in a decade plus long relationship or from females who don't fully understand certain male impulses.

Sometimes those paid sex workers are simply the most efficient option because they don't want anything other than the money. Mistresses and random hookup come with all sorts of other complications, especially for a man who loves his wife an doesn't want his meaningless side action spilling over into his homefront.

I like SirLapdanceanot better.

Hahahaha - well played, sir

^ LOL I just changed my tagline.

@sirdanceanot

Sorry to hear but it sounds like it might be for the best

@Cristobal I'm all good. My wife gave it a chance and really tried to be open with me clubbing which is much more than I can say for any GF before her and most wives in general. I had a good run for the last seven years with strippers but also I always struggled with managing a double life from my wife. Even though she allowed it, it was something that I still had to separate and keep on the DL from my best friend and lover. For me it was taxing as much as it was pleasurable. Since my wife tried to be open to it for me for so long, I want and owe it to her to be the husband that is open to not clubbing for her happiness. And if I want to club again the option is still there. I just have to accept that she will likely divorce me and support her in that.

@heaving it is sweet and something not worth losing over strippers. Not for me at least. She's a true sweetheart too. Unlike some married PLs, there's nothing she did to drive me to go to clubs. It was all me and my lifelong obsession with looking at beautiful women and pure male horniness.

Also we even openly talked about how I seem to be more horny than her as we have aged as an excuse to club, but she made the point that me going doesn't really put her in the mood to have sex with me. It's a valid point.

Sirlap: best wishes for however this works out.
Fun is fun, but a good marriage is rare.

Chessmaster, guess I found a unicorn then, 40 years together, faithful and fun. Fun less often than when we were young, but plenty for us each.

Your first mistake was getting married at 24. Too young, second mistake was not noticing this HUGE red flag.....before you got married. Now your stuck with her and this frustration until death do you part. Sc probably doesn't feel like cheating because 1) your already comfortable in the club before you met/married her and 2) there's no actual penile penetration in any hole, whether it be mouth, anal or vagina. No sex means no worries (in simple terms).

If I were you, I'd start doing spontaneous things, do things that get her aroused because you being handsome clearly isnt enough. Set the mood and if you do it right, she'll jump your bones like in the old days.

Estafador makes some good points. But if that doesn't work ...

At 24, divorce is not a deal breaker. It gives you time to figure out what you truly want. I was engaged in my early 20's and thank goodness it didn't work out. If she's threatening divorce, it's going to happen eventually in my opinion because it's on her mind. You don't threaten that with someone you love.

You may want to get ahead of it. Get back on your own and then there's nothing to keep you from getting laid as much as you want.

i agree with Estafador. especially if no children are involved.

And rh48... yes.

Get out before kids though you also need to figure out what matters as odds of you marrying a girl and keeping a sex life like you are after truly is unicorn status.

In a perfect world with moralistic eyes... it would be to be committed... to one woman for life... even for sex... but we know that is dificult for most of us... ( An exemption of course would be to those that agreed to have an open relationship...)

Ending a marriage, when necessary, I have no objection to.

But a lifestyle based on cheating and deception, that I do not go along with.

SJG

And better still is to stay single, when you know that marriage is real high risk.

We need to invent better options.

SJG

"But a lifestyle based on cheating and deception, that I do not go along with."

^ @san_jose_creep But you admittedly went along with that lifestyle because you did cheat on your wife with strippers and AMP whores. That's why you're divorced and homeless, knucklehead.