Why doesn't SC'ing feel like cheating?

AceMag69
For the past couple of years I feel as if I have somewhat been deprived. My Wife and I have sex 1-2 a week, but at my age (24) it's just not working for me. I had a ex GF where 7 times out the week was done with ease. Not that I'm expecting that much now, but I'm HIGHLY attracted to my Wife so once a week is no good for me. There's nothing worse than laying there, wanting to make love, but not even try because I know I'll get shot down. Sex HAS to be on her time... I've sat her down and I've tried explaining to her my needs but it seems to go in one ear and out the other... This obviously started creating problems within our relationship. I've had thoughts of the whole side h*es thing but it's just not for me. I feel an overwhelming sense of guilt JUST from texting so that's just something I can't do. However, when I go to the club I'm sucking titties, talking dirty, rubbing p*ssy, making out, etc. and I feel NO guilt when going back home. In fact, the SC has helped me to be even more patient with my Wife. If she tells me "no" I know that I'll be seeing my CF within a few days. I kiss my Wife goodnight and rollover and fall asleep with a smile on my face :)

51 comments

Latest

gawker
5 years ago
Maybe there’s not much of an emotional connection with your CF?
jmiddle30234
5 years ago
I agree never do otc stick to low risk activities in the club cheaper to keep her and the once or twice I month she wants to fuck fine. She really isn’t very good in bed hasn’t been for years so I close my eyes and think of one of the strippers I did vip with
Cashman1234
5 years ago
The brutal truth is many marriages have been over for awhile before a spouse seeks out strip club experiences.

It’s easy - you go - you get it in - and you leave. It’s like one stop shopping - it’s convenient - it’s not messy - and it’s over. You can then go home and kiss your wife good night...
san_jose_guy
5 years ago
A lot of PL's don't worry about their personal integrity. And then I guess the women just feel that they have no choice but to go along with it.

SJG
Call.Me.Ishmael
5 years ago
AceMag69 said "I've had thoughts of the whole side h*es thing but it's just not for me. I feel an overwhelming sense of guilt JUST from texting so that's just something I can't do."

But no guilt, apparently, when offering an immigrant stripper $200 for an hour of sex via text, and then texting "what's your price?" when she (amazingly...) didn't accept right away.

https://www.tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=…

And though texting to a woman makes you feel horrible, the only thing stopping you from getting a bareback blowie from a porn star isn't your marriage, but rather your fear of catching the herp.

https://www.tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=…

Hey! You know, I think I just figured out why going to a strip club doesn't feel like cheating to you...

You're a dick.
AceMag69
5 years ago
@Call.Me.Ishmeal I see that you've went through and found my previous post. That's pretty cool haha... But c'mon dawg. You don't know me well enough to call me a dick. You only know what I post (which I could definitely see how I sound like a dick)...... I won't bore you with details, but I have been hurt badly many times by my dear Wife. Now I'm not saying that 2 wrongs make a right... But that is my reason of why I started visiting SC's in the last 2 months and how my mind got fixated on other women in the first place. I've always been a one woman man in all my relationships. I have never cheated (besides my visits to the SC and the thoughts that I have in my heart recently), but as you see... I have been on the verge of actually physically cheating because of my frustration at home...


AceMag69
5 years ago
@Call.Me.Ishmael & you are incorrect about my only fear of bareback bj is getting herpes instead of thoughts of my marriage. My fear would be me getting something because obviously she would get it as well...
DenimChicken
5 years ago
Ace - you gotta sort issues out with your wife, man. It won't be easy but really what is?

AceMag69
5 years ago
@DenimChicken & I would love to work things out with my Wife bro, but I just don't know what to do anymore. It's like we try to get on track, but the instant something doesn't go her way she talks about divorce. Every. Single. Time. I don't know how to build something solid when I feel like I'm alone in this... I guess SC'ing is my way of trying to fill a void because of being miserable at home. I love her dearly, but I am miserable at the same time... Kinda sucks
san_jose_guy
5 years ago
^^^^ Marriage Councilor or Divorce Lawyer.

You don't find too many of these dancing at strip clubs.

But I do feel for you bro, trying to survive a horrid marriage. Eventually though you do have to act.

SJG
DeclineToState
5 years ago
-->@Cashman: "The brutal truth is many marriages have been over for awhile before a spouse seeks out strip club experiences."

I wouldn't say always "over" but yes for sure some dissatisfaction. And then SCing becomes so fun, addicting or emotionally entangled that for a PL with and SO, the PL's thought life is more connected to CF than to SO.
CJKent (Banned)
5 years ago
"Divorce is always good news.

I know that sounds weird, but it's true because no good marriage has ever ended in divorce …

That would be sad.

If two people were married and they were really happy and they just had a great thing and then they got divorced, that would be really sad.

But that has happened zero times."

~ CK
Call.Me.Ishmael
5 years ago
If you're doing something sexual with another woman that has to be kept a secret... then you're cheating. If you've done some mental / emotional gymnastics to delude yourself otherwise, that's on you.

But it's cheating.

I haven't abandoned my original premise that you're a dick. But I'll add that perhaps the time you spend seeking counsel from anonymous perverts on a strip club message board would be better spent in marriage counseling.
Mate27
5 years ago
The OP is a reincarnated form of DC or CC Witt his beta cuck stories.
Hank Moody
5 years ago
OP - if you don’t have kids already, make sure it stays that way.
AceMag69
5 years ago
@Call.Me.Ishmael Haha ok tough guy
Call.Me.Ishmael
5 years ago
I'm not a tough guy.

But if you come to a message board with a long tradition of blunt answers, then you shouldn't be surprised when you get blunt answers.
AceMag69
5 years ago
@Call.Me.Ishmael Fair enough
Cristobal
5 years ago
From my experience, men and women look at cheating very differently.

The key is what does your partner think: if you keep it a secret from her regardless of the actual act she most likely will consider it cheating.
SirLapdancealot
5 years ago
My wife doesn't view it as cheating but she doesn't like it either. She doesn't like the thought of other women groping on me and it makes her upset. She used to turn a blind eye to it all but lately she's voiced her disapproval of it all to me after trying to work with me on it.

Knowing all this makes it hard for me to be in a strip club. I don't feel like I'm cheating on her but I feel like a dickhead husband that doesn't really care what my wife thinks. It's made me stop going.
WILLYSGOTAWOMAN
5 years ago
I have an arrangement where if I don't get an STD or go broke and don't feel the need to talk to her about, its ok. Its a commercial transaction. I'm just renting her body
nicespice
5 years ago
^Is your arrangement bitchslapping if she starts complaining?
Call.Me.Ishmael
5 years ago
^^^ Valid question.
Call.Me.Ishmael
5 years ago
Willy said "I have an arrangement..."

It's not an 'arrangement' if it's between you and yourself, you muppet.
DeclineToState
5 years ago
-->"Knowing all this makes it hard for me to be in a strip club . . I feel like a dickhead husband. . . It's made me stop going."

Time for a change of tuscl handle to Sirlapdancealmostnever?
rickdugan
5 years ago
Normally I play along with these goofy premises but not this time. A real 24 year old guy who is sex deprived would only feel further frustrated by being teased with no release. Also a 24 year old is highly unlikely to have the $$$ to blow on strippers that frequently.

Will whoever writes this shit please leave the house once in a while? If you're going to pretend to be a young guy or a stripper then at least have a clue, lol.
SirLapdancealot
5 years ago
"Time for a change of tuscl handle to Sirlapdancealmostnever?"

It's too soon!
SirLapdancealot
5 years ago
I like SirLapdanceanot better.
MackTruck
5 years ago
Dumpaoad on willy... 💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩

Savor that flavor willydipshit
chessmaster
5 years ago
"Normally I play along with these goofy premises but not this time. A real 24 year old guy who is sex deprived would only feel further frustrated by being teased with no release. Also a 24 year old is highly unlikely to have the $$$ to blow on strippers that frequently."

Could be a troll but isn't op describing most marriages? Unless you found a unicorn and you're an exception, plenty of married men have said(first hand to me and on the internet) once you get married is when the sex stops. Or a minimum amount of pity/duty sex. They let themselves go and get fat. They have a million and 1 reasons for why they dont wanna have sex. Once you marry her she has what she wants. If op(or any married man that frequents sex workers) was satisfied with the wife, they wouldn't bother paying hookers and strippers.
SirLapdancealot
5 years ago
Maybe some of it has to do with being surrounded by other possibly married men doing the same thing and somehow that makes it less guilty feeling as opposed to being in a truly 1:1 private area with another woman. Just a thought...
Call.Me.Ishmael
5 years ago
'Guiltless by association' isn't a thing.
SirLapdancealot
5 years ago
'Misery loves company' is, though.
Call.Me.Ishmael
5 years ago
Well, there's that...
rickdugan
5 years ago
===> "If op(or any married man that frequents sex workers) was satisfied with the wife, they wouldn't bother paying hookers and strippers."

That is a rather naive viewpoint. Sometimes the unfamiliar is more exciting than the familiar, no matter how good it is. I've seen others make this same comment and it almost always seems to originate from men who haven't been in a decade plus long relationship or from females who don't fully understand certain male impulses.
rickdugan
5 years ago
Sometimes those paid sex workers are simply the most efficient option because they don't want anything other than the money. Mistresses and random hookup come with all sorts of other complications, especially for a man who loves his wife an doesn't want his meaningless side action spilling over into his homefront.
DenimChicken
5 years ago
> I like SirLapdanceanot better.

Hahahaha - well played, sir
SirLapdancealot
5 years ago
^ LOL I just changed my tagline.
Cristobal
5 years ago
@sirdanceanot

Sorry to hear but it sounds like it might be for the best
SirLapdancealot
5 years ago
@Cristobal I'm all good. My wife gave it a chance and really tried to be open with me clubbing which is much more than I can say for any GF before her and most wives in general. I had a good run for the last seven years with strippers but also I always struggled with managing a double life from my wife. Even though she allowed it, it was something that I still had to separate and keep on the DL from my best friend and lover. For me it was taxing as much as it was pleasurable. Since my wife tried to be open to it for me for so long, I want and owe it to her to be the husband that is open to not clubbing for her happiness. And if I want to club again the option is still there. I just have to accept that she will likely divorce me and support her in that.
SirLapdancealot
5 years ago
@heaving it is sweet and something not worth losing over strippers. Not for me at least. She's a true sweetheart too. Unlike some married PLs, there's nothing she did to drive me to go to clubs. It was all me and my lifelong obsession with looking at beautiful women and pure male horniness.

Also we even openly talked about how I seem to be more horny than her as we have aged as an excuse to club, but she made the point that me going doesn't really put her in the mood to have sex with me. It's a valid point.
gSteph
5 years ago
Sirlap: best wishes for however this works out.
Fun is fun, but a good marriage is rare.

Chessmaster, guess I found a unicorn then, 40 years together, faithful and fun. Fun less often than when we were young, but plenty for us each.
Estafador
5 years ago
Your first mistake was getting married at 24. Too young, second mistake was not noticing this HUGE red flag.....before you got married. Now your stuck with her and this frustration until death do you part. Sc probably doesn't feel like cheating because 1) your already comfortable in the club before you met/married her and 2) there's no actual penile penetration in any hole, whether it be mouth, anal or vagina. No sex means no worries (in simple terms).

If I were you, I'd start doing spontaneous things, do things that get her aroused because you being handsome clearly isnt enough. Set the mood and if you do it right, she'll jump your bones like in the old days.
rh48hr
5 years ago
Estafador makes some good points. But if that doesn't work ...

At 24, divorce is not a deal breaker. It gives you time to figure out what you truly want. I was engaged in my early 20's and thank goodness it didn't work out. If she's threatening divorce, it's going to happen eventually in my opinion because it's on her mind. You don't threaten that with someone you love.

You may want to get ahead of it. Get back on your own and then there's nothing to keep you from getting laid as much as you want.
Jascoi
5 years ago
i agree with Estafador. especially if no children are involved.
Jascoi
5 years ago
And rh48... yes.
Phandy
5 years ago
Get out before kids though you also need to figure out what matters as odds of you marrying a girl and keeping a sex life like you are after truly is unicorn status.
Jascoi
5 years ago
In a perfect world with moralistic eyes... it would be to be committed... to one woman for life... even for sex... but we know that is dificult for most of us... ( An exemption of course would be to those that agreed to have an open relationship...)
san_jose_guy
5 years ago
Ending a marriage, when necessary, I have no objection to.

But a lifestyle based on cheating and deception, that I do not go along with.

SJG
san_jose_guy
5 years ago
And better still is to stay single, when you know that marriage is real high risk.

We need to invent better options.

SJG
SirLapdancealot
5 years ago
"But a lifestyle based on cheating and deception, that I do not go along with."

^ @san_jose_creep But you admittedly went along with that lifestyle because you did cheat on your wife with strippers and AMP whores. That's why you're divorced and homeless, knucklehead.
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