Did I make a faux pas?
Liwet
If she walks away smiling, you spent too much.
Got a mouthful from two dancers for two things that I'm apparently doing wrong. Would like some feedback.
With one girl, I asked her age very early when she was sitting with me. We didn't agree on doing anything and she left only to come back a bit later and tell me that it's really rude to ask dancers their age. It was mostly idle curiosity but I have my reasons too.
With another girl, I wasn't interested in her and I told her no thanks when she walked up to me. I think it's rude to waste the time talking to a girl that you're not interested in. She felt it was rude that I was judging her solely on her looks and turning her away before she sat down.
With one girl, I asked her age very early when she was sitting with me. We didn't agree on doing anything and she left only to come back a bit later and tell me that it's really rude to ask dancers their age. It was mostly idle curiosity but I have my reasons too.
With another girl, I wasn't interested in her and I told her no thanks when she walked up to me. I think it's rude to waste the time talking to a girl that you're not interested in. She felt it was rude that I was judging her solely on her looks and turning her away before she sat down.
37 comments
As for the second part, I find the dancers logic totally ridiculous on that. YOU are the customer, YOU determine who you send money on and why you wanna spend money on her. If it's based solely off her looks it's your God given right as a customer to base it off of that. As a matter of fact I'd imagine that over 90% of men make the decision of who to talk to based on looks alone. Sounds like that dancer was just pissed she wasn't gonna make any money off you.
I think asking her age is a bit of a basic bitch question, especially super early, but she's a stripper and guys are going to ask questions. She is a professional fantasy maker, she should have a number ready even if it's not the real one (which many of the girls lie about their age). Getting upset about that, of all things, is pretty chickenshit.
Your second example is rude if you did that "wave her away with your hand" as she walks up -- that's rude with anyone. But if you let her introduce herself and then nicely turned her away, then not a faux pas, you were doing her a favor not wasting her time, and she should STFU about it.
The age question in normal civvie world is probably not appropriate but in the stripper bizarro world asking a dancer how much for a BJ is appropriate, so the age thing is no faux pas.
Waving off a dancer to not waste her time is a favor, she just overreacted or was trying to guilt you into a tip, drink, or dance.
If you're pissing people off over and over and over then you're probably doing something wrong.
I bet in this situation if we were to ask the dancers their side of the story they would say something a lot different than how you are explaining it.
To answer your question:
Did I make a faux pas?
It is impossible to tell, we only have your side of the story. In the surface I would say the girls might have overreacted or were in a bad mood, but two girls in the same night, it might have been the way you did things.
Perception is reality, if the girls reaction was negative, it might have been partially because their perception of you behavior/attitude.
When I want to know a girls age I always say kiddingly, “I am going to have to see some form of identification to prove you are over eighteen, because in California 17 can get you 20”. They just laugh and assure me they are of legal age and tell me their age and thank me for saying they look like teenagers.
I politely tell the girls that approach me and try to sit next to me that “I don’t want to waste your time, I am looking for someone else” the nice ones even offer to go get the girl I am interested in.
Like I tell people; if you behave like a gentleman you will be treated as a gentleman.
If I'm not interested in a dancer, I'll politely tell them that before they sit down. 99% of them appreciate it or don't care. You got a 1%er.
Maybe she is related to Icey??
Asking her age is not the social faux pas it once was, either in a club or outside.
If a girl can’t take rejection then she doesn’t belong in this business.
No need for dancers to get upset with customers over such small infractions.
Trust me those two are crazy
As far as waiving dancers off, it depends. Yeah, I think it's a bit rude to waive off a dancer before she even introduces herself. But no, I've got less than zero issue judging her solely on her looks. It's a fucking strip club, looks are important. I'm not getting a lap dance from a dancer because she's got a nice personality, I'm getting one cause she's hot. I realize it can be mentally tough to deal with rejection and I realize it's her job to approach customers, so I generally try to turn them away easily. But, she needs to realize it can get old as a customer to be hounded by a bunch of strippers you aren't interested in and that customers shut it down quick.
How much for a BJ?
And how much for a BBBJ?
Maybe it is just me.
If you're pissing people off over and over and over then you're probably doing something wrong."
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Paul does have a point, Liwet!
As for the first, she is being hypersensitive. I would have considered that a harbinger of things to come and sent her packing too.
One thing I enjoy about strip clubs is not really thinking about granular social niceties. From my perspective, it is almost impossible for me to make a faux pas in a club because I don't give enough of a shit to care. If a girl gives me friction, then I hit the EJECT button and move on to the next one. Simple.
Agreed - but many dancers do not respect a custy's personal space and/or time and feel completely-entitled to invite themselves to your table and/or lap and why at times, particularly in certain clubs, one may have to employ the Walter Peyton stiff-arm else you spend half your visit dealing with dancers you don't wanna deal with.
I still HOPE I'd never go to the point where I just wave a stripper away before she even gets to me. But even if I did, I would realize that I'm being an asshole, and that there's a chance of a lecture from a stripper with hurt feelings.
I see no fault in shoo-ing away a dancer. That’s valuable time that could be spent with one who is your type. Chances are if you find a girl who’s your type, she is probably the type for a lot of guys. Girls think differently, and dancers will psyche themselves up to the point they over exaggerate the status of their looks, just because they’re naked. Kudos for sending her off.
And LMAO looks are the main criteria. It's kind of the point. No dancer has ever talked me into getting a dance if I wasn't attracted to her.
In my view, better not to waste the time of a girl you are not interested in. But there are still more gracious ways to get out of it. And also you might just hand her some money and try to make some kind of a compliment. Or maybe, just because she did approach you, you might go ahead and just try to give her whatever she wants, like fucked and paid. Or you might give her money and try to get a front room makeout session going, just try to take a positive view towards her.
In out underground circuit, I would spend money on each and every girl that approached, just for the esprit de corps.
SJG
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No. No. No. Hopefully you're not serious. That is near the top of my biggest gripe list. This doesn't happen that often thankfully, but I get annoyed when asked for a tip by a dancer that I've just rejected. I know I'm not obligated to tip in that circumstance but I feel pressured into to doing so.
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