Did I make a faux pas?

It’s your fantasy time. You are paying, thus play as you wish. If they don’t “appreciate” it, then they will not likely “play” with you in the future. However, some won’t mind a bit and thus you have found your play mate for the night. That being said, the only time I will ask their age is when I am in a club that allows under 21 year old girls to dance AND that dancer wants me to buy her a drink. If she is under 21, I will tip her so she can buy herself a drink.

With the age thing, it's supposed to be etiquette that you don't ask women how old they are. Of course how they respond varies from woman to woman, but it's one of those unwritten rules. I would actually think that dancers would mind less. As a matter of fact I've asked quite a few dancers their age with no problems. Although the way I ask is "I know I'm not supposed to ask a woman how old she is but I am genuinely curious.......how old are you?"

As for the second part, I find the dancers logic totally ridiculous on that. YOU are the customer, YOU determine who you send money on and why you wanna spend money on her. If it's based solely off her looks it's your God given right as a customer to base it off of that. As a matter of fact I'd imagine that over 90% of men make the decision of who to talk to based on looks alone. Sounds like that dancer was just pissed she wasn't gonna make any money off you.

Neither of these are faux pas. You just got two girls who were frustrated already, and you triggered them.

I think asking her age is a bit of a basic bitch question, especially super early, but she's a stripper and guys are going to ask questions. She is a professional fantasy maker, she should have a number ready even if it's not the real one (which many of the girls lie about their age). Getting upset about that, of all things, is pretty chickenshit.

Your second example is rude if you did that "wave her away with your hand" as she walks up -- that's rude with anyone. But if you let her introduce herself and then nicely turned her away, then not a faux pas, you were doing her a favor not wasting her time, and she should STFU about it.

No faux pas on either.

The age question in normal civvie world is probably not appropriate but in the stripper bizarro world asking a dancer how much for a BJ is appropriate, so the age thing is no faux pas.

Waving off a dancer to not waste her time is a favor, she just overreacted or was trying to guilt you into a tip, drink, or dance.

I am going to go out on a limb and say you are probably doing something wrong. You have posted before that you got kicked out and banned from a club. Then another time you were thinking about posting a dancers personal instagram on a club review. Then another time you were complaining that a ton of dancers avoid you...

If you're pissing people off over and over and over then you're probably doing something wrong.

I bet in this situation if we were to ask the dancers their side of the story they would say something a lot different than how you are explaining it.

@Liwet

To answer your question:

Did I make a faux pas?

It is impossible to tell, we only have your side of the story. In the surface I would say the girls might have overreacted or were in a bad mood, but two girls in the same night, it might have been the way you did things.

Perception is reality, if the girls reaction was negative, it might have been partially because their perception of you behavior/attitude.

When I want to know a girls age I always say kiddingly, “I am going to have to see some form of identification to prove you are over eighteen, because in California 17 can get you 20”. They just laugh and assure me they are of legal age and tell me their age and thank me for saying they look like teenagers.

I politely tell the girls that approach me and try to sit next to me that “I don’t want to waste your time, I am looking for someone else” the nice ones even offer to go get the girl I am interested in.

Like I tell people; if you behave like a gentleman you will be treated as a gentleman.

No

I wouldn't ask a dancer's age unless it's within the context of a conversation we're having. It's pretty common that women often don't like discussing their age. So, whether it's a faux pas or not, it's a pretty obvious land mine.

If I'm not interested in a dancer, I'll politely tell them that before they sit down. 99% of them appreciate it or don't care. You got a 1%er.

If you ask me, it’s mighty peculiar for a woman to tolerate questions about what sexual favors she is willing to perform for $200 but then get upset if you ask her age.

Maybe she is related to Icey??

I would spend about 5 seconds worrying about each of those things. Then move on. Bitches be crazy !

I ask a dancer her age if I am curious. If they get upset then they find another customer. If a dancer I do not want approaches me I do not allow her to sit with me. Not wasting her time, my time, or having her there to fend off dancers I might want. Again, if they don't like it, find another customer.

The one time I’m sure I insulted a dancer was when I stopped in a club on my way home from work. I told her “No dances, and don’t sit too close to me. I can’t afford to wear your god-awful strong perfume to my home!”

Asking her age is not the social faux pas it once was, either in a club or outside.

If a girl can’t take rejection then she doesn’t belong in this business.

Weird I think the outrage is feigned, I agree with the poster that said she’s fine with being propositioned but angry because you asked her age, although I agree waving her away is a bit rude, it’s probably not uncommon.

It's funny to see so many of you putting logic and human nature in the same bucket.

The two most common questions customers ask are: (1) What is your age and (2) What is your real name? Both are a little rude, but dancers should be used to them and have answers prepared. The answer to the first is 5 to 10 years younger than her real age. The answer to the second is any name other than her real one. All the dancers I know well have a standard fake real name.

No need for dancers to get upset with customers over such small infractions.

Them some sensitive ass dancers. She could of gave a fake age. Such a sensitive Susie. Also I rather a patron tell me no off bat, then to ignore me when I’m having a conversation with him.

Trust me those two are crazy

Just read @paul drake’s comment now I’m wondering what’s wrong with you

I never ask a dancer her real name. I end up knowing a lot of their names simply because it comes out in conversation.

Rude to ask a women's age in general, yes. However, there are obvious exceptions. IMO, being a stripper is one of them. I suppose there are ways you could ask that could be rude, but in the course of general getting to know you chat I think its perfectly acceptable. This one is just a bullshit butthurt.

As far as waiving dancers off, it depends. Yeah, I think it's a bit rude to waive off a dancer before she even introduces herself. But no, I've got less than zero issue judging her solely on her looks. It's a fucking strip club, looks are important. I'm not getting a lap dance from a dancer because she's got a nice personality, I'm getting one cause she's hot. I realize it can be mentally tough to deal with rejection and I realize it's her job to approach customers, so I generally try to turn them away easily. But, she needs to realize it can get old as a customer to be hounded by a bunch of strippers you aren't interested in and that customers shut it down quick.

I thought the most common asked questions are:

How much for a BJ?

And how much for a BBBJ?

Maybe it is just me.

i’m guilty of asking a dancer her age. and also the questions right above.

If interested I offer to buy them a drink. If they say no I am under 21 I then decide what my next move is.

-->"I am going to go out on a limb and say you are probably doing something wrong. You have posted before that you got kicked out and banned from a club. Then another time you were thinking about posting a dancers personal instagram on a club review. Then another time you were complaining that a ton of dancers avoid you... If you're pissing people off over and over and over then you're probably doing something wrong."

If you run into an asshole in the morning, well, you ran into an asshole.

If you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole

Paul does have a point, Liwet!

Who cares about the second one? You don't like her anyway.

As for the first, she is being hypersensitive. I would have considered that a harbinger of things to come and sent her packing too.

One thing I enjoy about strip clubs is not really thinking about granular social niceties. From my perspective, it is almost impossible for me to make a faux pas in a club because I don't give enough of a shit to care. If a girl gives me friction, then I hit the EJECT button and move on to the next one. Simple.

In general I avoid asking a dancer's age if she seems a bit on the older side but hey according to womens' rights, men and women should be treated equally so they can't have their cake and eat it too - but it's probably mostly what Subra mentioned about her being pissed about being shut down - many dancers are used to, and get off on, brow-beating PLs.

"... Your second example is rude if you did that "wave her away with your hand" as she walks up -- that's rude with anyone. But if you let her ..."

Agreed - but many dancers do not respect a custy's personal space and/or time and feel completely-entitled to invite themselves to your table and/or lap and why at times, particularly in certain clubs, one may have to employ the Walter Peyton stiff-arm else you spend half your visit dealing with dancers you don't wanna deal with.

Paps, I can certainly believe the entitlement and hustle level can be so high that you start getting into douche mode. I am perhaps lucky that I don't go to such clubs and don't have to deal with that... although it's not all luck, of course, I specifically seek out slow clubs and shifts, and tend to not return to clubs that have a high pressure hustler vibe or the balance of power has tilted too far towards strippers. And I"ve also never had to deal with Cuban strippers, so I might have an entirely different view.

I still HOPE I'd never go to the point where I just wave a stripper away before she even gets to me. But even if I did, I would realize that I'm being an asshole, and that there's a chance of a lecture from a stripper with hurt feelings.

Possibly for the age, depending if it was an older dancer may have been seen as insensitive, very debatable.

I see no fault in shoo-ing away a dancer. That’s valuable time that could be spent with one who is your type. Chances are if you find a girl who’s your type, she is probably the type for a lot of guys. Girls think differently, and dancers will psyche themselves up to the point they over exaggerate the status of their looks, just because they’re naked. Kudos for sending her off.

I have asked many faves this in the past and almost all of them confirmed that they would rather know right away that you do or don't want to sit with them before eventually getting dances.

And LMAO looks are the main criteria. It's kind of the point. No dancer has ever talked me into getting a dance if I wasn't attracted to her.

You don't ask women their ages.

In my view, better not to waste the time of a girl you are not interested in. But there are still more gracious ways to get out of it. And also you might just hand her some money and try to make some kind of a compliment. Or maybe, just because she did approach you, you might go ahead and just try to give her whatever she wants, like fucked and paid. Or you might give her money and try to get a front room makeout session going, just try to take a positive view towards her.

In out underground circuit, I would spend money on each and every girl that approached, just for the esprit de corps.

SJG

tuscl.net

Aeon Byte Live 12: A Gnostic Easter Celebration youtube.com

^^SJG - And also you might just hand her some money and try to make some kind of a compliment.
No. No. No. Hopefully you're not serious. That is near the top of my biggest gripe list. This doesn't happen that often thankfully, but I get annoyed when asked for a tip by a dancer that I've just rejected. I know I'm not obligated to tip in that circumstance but I feel pressured into to doing so.

I don't think you fucked up really? I mean some girls are iffy about being asked their age. Some dgaf. The "no thanks " is a huge favor. There is nothing more annoying than talking to someone who is just trying to waste your time and not spend a $. Wish everyone was straightforward, but I really don't invest time like that on customers anymore. Just have no patience for bull fucking shit

I wonder how direct and unsegway like you asked for her age. I also wonder how abrupt and the tone you used to tell her told her no thanks lol. Maybe it’s not exactly what you say but how you say it/frame it?

Lol Txtittyfag!!!

You know what you call a Mexican quarterback?

Answer: El Paso

I've never straight up asked a dancer her age. One dancer (who I had bought a couple dances from) got really offended when I asked how long she had worked at the club. Never bought a dance from her again.