How do I find out?
JohnSmith69
layin low but staying high
When a cute girl that I haven't seen on stage asks me if I want a dance, assuming that it's a full contact club, I usually have only one question besides possibly price negotiations. The one question is: are her tits real? If they are, I'm ready to go. If not, I'm not interested.
How do I politely figure out the answer? If I ask outright and she says fake, I feel like I'm slapping her in the face (figuratively speaking) when I pass. Basically I'm saying that she spent thousands of dollars to make her body totally undesirable ( which is how I feel, but I don't really want to come across that way).
The ways I handle this now are not totally satisfying.
1. Say come and see me after you dance on stage. That way I can decide on real vs fake myself. Problem is she may not be free later.
2. Make my best guess on fake vs real based on what they look like covered. Problem is I have passed up on some great girls this way, assuming that big real ones were fake. I also might guess real and waste time and money on a set of bolt ons.
3. Go for it regardless. Problem is I waste money on girls with bolt ons that I'm not really interested in.
4. Get over my desire for the real thing and start to appreciate fakes. Problem is that's never going to happen.
5. Just man up and ask. I've done this a few times, but usually when I strongly suspect they are real. So far they have always been real when I ask. Problem is if they are fake, I offend the girl when I say no. She then bad mouths me to the other dancers, and the little head has a sad night.
Am I missing an option?
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23 comments
Rockstar. I can't tell when they are covered which they usually are in discussing dance options. Obviously I can tell when they are out or by feeling them.
Shadow, feeling them would work but that's kind of the same as asking. If I feel them, and then say no interest, it's still insulting.
Maybe I'm old fashioned but under normal circumstances I don't like to insult anyone including strippers.
Realistically, I'd say just get over it. There's no accounting for taste. We've all got preferences with respect to physical attributes. Based on your limited description of what you find attractive, I probably would reject all the dancers you covet & there is a decent chance you'd pass on the ones I'd drool over. It doesn't make one any better than the other. If a stripper doesn't realize and accept this reality, they may perceive each rejection as an insult but that doesn't make it one. That doesn't absolve you of being a total dick about it, but a polite no thanks shouldn't hurt anyone's feelings.
Other than that, maybe try a table dance if they are an option. The price is usually lower but it provides a lot more information. I do it pretty frequently, mostly with the Cuban girls around here. Usually its because the communication barrier prevents me from chatting to get the "feel" I want.
As I've learned, that some will be considered "unknowable."
And that one is definitely it.
Dolfan, thanks for the well reasoned response. I think you're right. Table dance is the only option I left out, and otherwise I need to just ask if they're store bought or ask to see or feel.
Store bought breasts should come with a clearly visible warning label.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Implant?
Here's the video of that famous closing line of the episode:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQNkeuga…
1. At the top of the breasts, look for a hard curved line where the "breast meets the chest."
2. If you get a side view, sometimes wide "wrinkles" seem to be apparent on the breasts.
3. If neither of the above two are discernible, then IF she lies on her back on the stage floor, look to see if her breasts are standing up. Natural breasts will flatten out over the chest. Fakes will stand up because the implants can't "bend" with the body like natural breasts.
Before I see a dancer on stage, if I'm curious, sometimes while seated with a dancer, I'm able to place a discreet elbow against her breasts. When I do, if I feel a hard surface, I know they're non-natural.
I know two dancers that got expensive boobs jobs, and the results were "spectacular." I can't feel the implants inside their breasts. It's as if the implants are well-centered within their breasts. And I can't feel the difference between the natural portion of the breast down to the implant.
For me fake boobs are a no-go maybe 95% of the time. Like JS69; I too have asked a dancer if her boobs were real and then told her I did not like breast implants so no dance.
It felt impolite to say so – but it *is* a way of saying she is not your type and thus not interested in a dance – it is business after all – why spend *my* money on something I don’t want/like. Of course; if one says it politely and w/ a bit of a smile it may come across less bad as if one just tells her w/ a straight face and then basically shoos her away.
But like JS69 said; it does feel impolite to ask so and then say no to her so sometimes I’ll just bite the bullet and if they turn out to be fake; then I’ll just try to still enjoy the dance and hope she is a good dancer; but most likely it’s a one and done unless she is an incredible grinder.
But for my personal situation it’s not that much of a problem since fake boobs are not that common w/ black dancers especially in the dives I visit – and even if I come across a fake-boobed black dancer; I may still get a dance from her if she has the booty and uses that booty to really grind me.
You could also take her up on the offer but limit yourself to two or three dances. It should satisfy her and it should (hopefully) answer your question discreetly. It's also a relatively small investment toward some goodwill, provided the dances are $20 or less each and not those where the dancer can charge whatever she wants.
Again, Seinfeld does cover everything. Even the bizarro world, like TUSCL.