What would you do?

57 comments

• Clubber

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  10 years ago

  Through out the entire story I didn't see one mention of "love". For that reason, I'd say no.
• mjx01

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  10 years ago

  I would not. My admittedly cynical view of things is that if she left you once, she more than capable of doing it again. Also, what does she do with a 100K+/yr? If she spends all of it and doesn't have a house/investments to show for it, there's a huge risk money will be a source of conflict in your relationship if you ain't sugger daddy-ing up the difference.
• BuckMcNutter

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  10 years ago

  They can't give up the $$$$ It's like a drug ! You would have to make up the difference in the end
• Papi_Chulo

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  10 years ago

  Who would want to go from $125k to $45k – stripper or not? In the end actions speak louder than words – what she says should be taken w/ a grain of salt. But – you are only young once – if you don’t put more into it than she is willing/able to and you don’t have high expectations; then maybe you can just enjoy it for what it is; go w/ the flow; and let her be part of your life but not your life. If you care or do more for her than she is able or willing to care/do for you; then you may end up shit-faced – put in as much as she is willing/able to put in and look out for yourself primarily (b/c she’ll probably do the same).
• Papi_Chulo

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  10 years ago

  It must also be seen from the stripper’s side. Why would they give up good $$$ for a dude that may end up dumping them a few months later – a pro-athlete I can see her giving up stripping; but not for Joe Average.
• rickdugan

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  10 years ago

  If there is one thing that I have learned over many many years and relationships, including 2 marriages and a few live-in SOs, it is that you cannot change a person's core personality. They may be able to change for a little while, especially when they are lonely or seeking comfort or when things are new and exciting, but over time they will always revert back to their norms. She has told you, over and over, through words and actions, who she is and what she really wants. She may be lonely and hurting now, so the thoughts of you and stability appeal to her at the moment, but how long until she wants more again? How long until she chafes at a plain vanilla job and starts seeking money, independence and excitement again? Oh, and btw, you have no idea how clean she really is. You may have trusted her, but you were really operating on blind faith as you did not see her much even when you were together before. If she is working in a place where $125k is achievable, then you had better believe that some guys with full pockets at least tempted her over time. But back on point, it is obviously your call, but if she left you once already then the odds are good that you will leave you again when the next urge takes her.
• SlickSpic

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  10 years ago

  Ask yourself this, what would Juice do?
• motorhead

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  10 years ago

  Did the NBAer break up with her and the other way around? Cuz if he broke up with her, I would like to see who's better than she is. She sounds like a winner to me.
• imnumnutz

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  10 years ago

  fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice, shame on me.
• jerikson40

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  10 years ago

  "...it is that you cannot change a person's core personality. They may be able to change for a little while, especially when they are lonely or seeking comfort or when things are new and exciting, but over time they will always revert back to their norms." Absolutely true. And when things get tough, people will seek comfort in that which they know will give them comfort, even if it's not what they really want. Words to live by and remember.
• Clackport

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  10 years ago

  @mjx- she owns a house @rickdugan- you're right, I can never be 100% sure that she's a clean dancer. She does work at a low mileage club though. @papi- you're right, no one wants to leave a 100K club for a 45K club. However, with the job I offered, 45K is just the starting point, she can move up. Plus it's obviously more stable than stripping. @motor- I'm not sure who broke up with who, but if I had to guess, I would say she found out the NBA player had groupies and broke up with him. Also, about her possibly leaving me again. I'm almost semi understanding of her leaving me, that NBAer was making over 5 million a year, girls go where the money is. I kind of view it as a rare situation, I wouldn't expect her to get swept off her feet by another rich professional athlete or entertainer, that shit is just rare. If my favorite Hollywood actress Paula Patton wanted me, I would for sure leave the stripper for Paula lol.
• HungryGiraffe

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  10 years ago

  Follow your heart. Life is short. Doesn't matter whether she is "clean" or not. We're all dirty, truth be told.
• MrDeuce

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  10 years ago

  Paula Patton -- yummy! Robin Thicke is a moron.
• Clackport

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  10 years ago

  ^^^I agree 200% MrDeuce!
• curiositycat

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  10 years ago

  I'd give her a second chance, a third, and a fourth. I have a weakness of not being able to say no to beautiful women. It is mentioned that you never mentioned love, so her breaking up with you isn't quite as hard a loss. Live it up, but be careful if you start feeling more for her because I agree - people are what they are. They'll change a bit for love, but they will always have to fight what is in their nature.
• .juicebox69

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  10 years ago

  Through out the entire story I didn't see one mention of "love". For that reason, I'd say yes !!!!! Ask yourself this, what would Juice do? take her back and fuck the living dawg shyt out off her pussy whole
• mark94

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  10 years ago

  Two kinds of strippers. Those who are doing it to meet some goal, like getting through college, and those who like the crazy lifestyle.They are addicted to the wild,manipulative, abnormal, adrenalin pumping life of a stripper. They may dabble with someone or something that is normal, but it won't last. Just like an alcoholic, the only chance of them changing is if they hit rock bottom after a really ugly ride down.
• .juicebox69

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  10 years ago

  lol
• jerikson40

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  10 years ago

  While I fully agree to take her back a 2nd, 3rd, or 4th time is she's hot and just fuck the shit out of her, unfortunately I also know how guys are when it comes to hot wimmenz. They "fall in love" with that shit, or at least think they do. It's extremely rare they can keep it on just a "fuck the shit out of her" basis. Instead, they get sucked in, and fall deeper. The hotter she is, the deeper they fall. So the 2nd time is worse, and the 3rd time is devastating. Just be careful. Keep your distance.
• yndy

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  10 years ago

  If I were you, I'd give her another chance and see how it goes.
• sharkhunter

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  10 years ago

  Have fun while you can. Things change. It's not like she's the only girl you're dating is it? Hopefully she isn't pregnant with someone else's kid.
• alabegonz

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  10 years ago

  She deserves a second chance. To give you idea how lucky you are... 1) My CF is getting older. 2) She is a junkie. 3) She likes men and women. 4) She has a child. 5) She still likes to play it like she is twenty one years old. Despite that I am still loyal to her. In fact, I always take her back after a crash-n-burn, with open arms. She still is awesome and sexy, but now I feel pity as well, maybe because her child became closer to me. Dude, yours is way better, she is still 'pure' compared to my CF.
• jestrite50

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  10 years ago

  I would tell her No F'n way..........Oh btw since you're dumping her can I have her phone number ? LOL ! Just messin wich ya. I say give her another chance. Making up will be off the chart and that sex alone will be worth the gamble.
• alabegonz

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  10 years ago

  You have to do it until it doesn't hurt anymore. And by being with her you get to know the stripper way of life, you get to know other dancers as well. You get to respect them in a different way. Only when it doesn't hurt anymore, you finally get it. It's called Zen moment--stripper Zen that is.
• shailynn

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  10 years ago

  I have a few questions. 1. Are you considering her as a live in relationship like wifey material one day? 2. What type of income do you have? I'm guessing if you can get her a 45K job, if you were a 'couple' would your income supplement the deficiency in hers? 3. At 26 and beautiful, she still have a significant stripper life left is she's clean, would she consider going to or back to college? But we all know she's have to have quite an advanced degree to achieve a 125K job that she doesn't take her clothes off for. And lastly my comment, I would certainly proceed with caution but hear her out, she's only 26 and may have learned a lesson. Watch out though, she's realized what she needs, hence the NBA player, she's looking for a rich husband so she doesn't need to strip or work at a 45K job, but can still buy red bottoms.
• alexrain

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  10 years ago

  Just skimming the thread, I say take her back and use her as a human cum rag. Don't fall in love, don't take her seriously. Fuck her as much as you can, and when you get bored with her, kick her to the curb. She dumped you and can never be trusted or forgiven.
• lopaw

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  10 years ago

  @ranukam- Although you don't mention the "L" word.....how do you REALLY feel about her, as a person and not just as a fuck buddy? Could you see yourself ever seriously wanting to settle down with her? Or will she always be just a FWB?
• jerikson40

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  10 years ago

  Also, keep in mind... What are the chances that Mr. NBA will call her one day and give her the "Please, baby, I just love you so much", and she sees those million $$ NBA contracts pass before her eyes.... Will she really say "NO !! Ranukam is the only man for me !!" Or if one of his NBA buddies she met at a party during those 6 months calls? Come on, get real. If you have any feelings whatsoever for her, it's best to turn the other way and run. If you can really keep it as a fuck buddy relationship, then fine. But be honest, is that possible?
• BagBoyJames

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  10 years ago

  take her bake just from a finacual stand point dude. most the time paying hot strippers cost hundreds to thousands and if your dating one your basicly fucking a stripper for pennies on the doller dude. trust me I know how to make a penny last
• SlickSpic

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  10 years ago

  Too Short once said, "Get In Where You Fit In". Ranukam, that's the best advice I can give. Can you two actually find a "Love Connection"? Maybe. Will your relationship be the same or better than before? I don't know. She's spent some time with an NBA player who access to NBA money, the perks of fame(no lines, VIP service for cheap or free, etc.), and just being seen with a professional athlete. Unless you have similar capital, this knowledge might be psychologically harmful.
• SlickSpic

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  10 years ago

  One more thing. I understand my relationship with and my position in the "Stripper Totem Pole". There are girls that I'm cool with in the club and that I see OTC. I understand that many have sugar daddies, athletes/entertainers, and other customers who make more money than I. For me to stand out, I have to use and make what I have to the best of my ability. Example-I've gone to various beaches with different strippers. I'm not the best surfer(stand-up, boogie, body) but I'm better than your average weekend warrior. As long as Kelly Slater ain't in the line-up, I look good. Chicks in general like a dude who has some skill in certain areas. I bring good food and drink plus a relaxing vibe to the beach. Girls(strippers or civies), appreciate this. It helps me stand out from the crowd. When I invite a stripper to the beach, she knows she's in for a good time. @Skibum-Although clubs are just a hobby for you, I'm sure that you can attest to a similar vibe while out skiing. Hot chicks will always gravitate to the dude who stands out.
• Clubber

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  10 years ago

  lopaw, He never addressed my "L" statement, "Through out the entire story I didn't see one mention of "love". For that reason, I'd say no."
• zipman68

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  10 years ago

  @ranukam -- if you aren't in a relationship now and like her, why not give it another whirl? You'll be conscious this time. You said the relationship had started to wind down before she left you for NBA dude so that may have been a natural progression. However, if you think she is marriage material right now I would be careful. I would not want a serious relationship with somebody who left me until I sussed out their current situation. People CAN change. But you CANNOT change somebody else. Change must come from within. If you can tell yourself to be a little cautious you might spend time together and see what happens. Probably nothing, but you never know.
• TxVegas

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  10 years ago

  If you are single and not in another relationship, I would give it another chance. If she is hotter than all of your other options, the worst thing that happens is it doesn't work out. Give it a try.
• Clackport

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  10 years ago

  Lots of great comments. @lopaw and Clubber- I do love her. I care very deeply about her, I could definitely see myself settling down with her. @shailynn- She has the potential to be wifey material, but I can't and won't marry her if she doesn't eventually give up stripping, and I'm sure if she can give up the stripping. As far as income I'm in the 75K range. She has no plans to go back to college, she did a couple of years in college, I don't think she will ever go back to college, she hasn't been in college for 6 years. While 26 is relatively young, she's been stripping since she was 20, so she's definitely a veteran at the strip clubs. I would say age 23-25 is the prime age for most strippers as far as money potential. I understand how hard it is to leave a job where you get paid a LOT to do a little. I'm kind of surprised that a lot of people are saying take her back. I had a thread a long time ago asking what was so wrong dating a stripper, and 98% of you TUSCLers said it wasn't a good idea.
• Clackport

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  10 years ago

  In my response to shailynn, I meant to say I'm not sure if she give up stripping. "This story seems suspect". Interesting, I could say the same thing about most of your threads here recently (ex: chicks with dicks). @Jerikson- good insight
• Clackport

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  10 years ago

  Let me try this again. I'm not sure if she can give up stripping.
• jestrite50

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  10 years ago

  @ranukam I have dated 3 strippers and they are lots of fun on a date. I am currently dating another stripper and don't find them much different than any other women. Just more fun, crazier, more unreliable, better liars, unfaithful, weak willed, not trustworthy etc etc. They just speak a different language........SS!
• san_jose_guy

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  10 years ago

  I think it is always going to be hard to have a long term relationship with a stripper, unless you can civilianize them. But they might not want to be civilianized, and you might not want to do that with them either. I have found that with many strippers, once you start moving them into a civilian style of relationship, you find that they have about the maturity of a junior high school girl. My view is that strip clubs and their social environment give you a perspective from which to critique the mundane culture. But strip clubs and stripper are not actually a remedy for anything. If we want life to be different than we have to work and build something different. This is where my interests now lye.
• alabegonz

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  10 years ago

  "She has the potential to be wifey material, but I can't and won't marry her if she doesn't eventually give up stripping, and I'm sure if she can give up the stripping." Just take her back, and don't ever-ever-ever say these words again.
• Papi_Chulo

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  10 years ago

  Perhaps you’ll have a better chance w/ her if someone buys the Trailblazers and moves them to another city (maybe you should start a rumor that the Trailblazers’ owner is a racist)
• jerikson40

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  10 years ago

  "I do love her. I care very deeply about her, I could definitely see myself settling down with her." Dude, you're screwed. Don't make the mistake that so many people make: believing something to be true ONLY because you WANT it to be true. She's a stripper. Strippers are not wife material. She left you before, she'll leave you again. She's hot, she can choose, and she may choose you for a fleeting moment because you make her feel good for that moment, but she is not wired to settle down and be a wife. As the video says, you may have found a unicorn. But you didn't, because those don't exist. They may exist for a fleeting moment, but in a blink they're gone. Have fun with her, but don't even think long term. We warned you. Don't come back whining here later on because she smashed your heart into little pieces. :)
• goonster

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  10 years ago

  Sorry to hear that. I have a rule that has served me well: when a relationship ends, it's over. Never go back. People can change, but not very much. In this particular scenario, you are her backup plan. I know it's hard to hear, but you are not her plan A, you are at best plan B or C. She is telling you what she thinks you want to hear. She will be with you until she finds something better. Do you really want that? The best thing to do is to make her sleep in the bed she made.
• Clubber

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  10 years ago

  OK, you expressed your love for her, but it needs to be atwo way street. Does she love you? If so, it could work. But the fact she left you once tells me it's a one way street. Just my opinion.
• alabegonz

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  10 years ago

  Dude, don't listen to these fellas tellin ya not to engage. Get back there and re-engage, play the game, bro. You will be hurt, your feelings will get stirred, but that's just way it is. That will make you stronger, better. And when the real deal shows up, ya gonna be ready.
• Clubber

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  10 years ago

  OK, you expressed your love for her, but it needs to be a two way street. Does she love you? If so, it could work. But the fact she left you once tells me it's a one way street. Just my opinion.
• cbthree

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  10 years ago

  Let's go point by point. How in the hell could you possibly know or comment on her being the highest earner in her club? What would make you trust ANY woman to be clean, much less a stripper(no offense to the small % of clean ones)? If she's still stripping, how can you continue to deal with the 4-8pm only thing and by the way you didn't even mention being able to spend her off day with her(which is fucking crazy IMO). Let me tell you some things. #1, you need to work on/get help with yourself first. I say that because of your feelings of inadequacy. #2 Since you say for a long term thing, she has to stop stripping, you MUST get that shit straight BEFORE you get back together(no she would CONSIDER a damn thing). If she wants to get back with you, she MUST start another full time job and quit first, no questions asked. Now if she won't do that then there's nothing wrong with you having a relationship based on sex if you can man up and let it be only that and she'll go for it. Otherwise, LEAVE HER CHEATING, STRIPPER ASS ALONE. After all, you know damn well her "CLEAN" ass was fucking that NBA baller before leaving your naive ass lol.
• sharkhunter

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  10 years ago

  I typically don't think of long term relationships with dancers. However some dancers have stayed friendly with me for several years. As far as wife material goes, I heard it's better to marry a friend so if you don't trust her, that answers your question of where things are. It's no where close to going anywhere permanent. Does she only satisfy your sexual interests but not much else? You'll end up wanting more I believe. It could be fun. You might just get a bunch of free sex with a hot girl. You can always keep scouting around for another girl while having fun with her. You know she will likely be doing the same thng.
• GCMan

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  10 years ago

  It's time to man up. Block her number and move on.
• GCMan

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  10 years ago

  It's time to man up. Block her number and move on.
• SlickSpic

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  10 years ago

  @GCMAN-Once again.
• Mate27

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  10 years ago

  She's proven through her track record that she doesn't finish or follow through on anything. At age 26 this pattern if behavior will last her throughout her lifetime. She gave up on college and went for the short term gratification I stripping, then she left you for the short term gratification of an NBA player. She is entrenched in this behavior and anytime you consider being with her you need to expect her to play the game of "Me first" and then you will be left holding the bag. If you are OK with that type if arrangement then have fun, but find a girl who is as invested in you as you are in her. I what you settle for isn't as sexy as you wanted then you can always visit strip clubs and sex workers for pleasure anytime. Anyone can get laid for the right price, but having a partner that can be a true team player is hard to find. I suggest finding a true team player, Ranukam.
• alabegonz

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  10 years ago

  Stop over-thinking. Be simple, one step at a time. Step 1) Clear you mind, that you do not care about her dumping you again. Step 2) You are going to live with the fact she will around you. Of course, basic economics will apply there. Step 3) Just let it roll. Do not think about the past. Just do it (tm Nike). Step 4) Now, do not stop clubbing, keep you lifestyle going. Step 5) Now you are happy dude. Smile.
• Clackport

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  10 years ago

  Update: I'm in Vegas now, I called her today and let her know I don't want anything to do with her goldigging stripper ass anymore. It was tough until I saw all these hot girls at the pool at Mandalay Bay. Ooh La La! Quick side note: Does anybody know what there is to do in Vegas besides gambling? I don't gamble. I will be hitting up a couple of stripclubs and nightclubs and hanging by the pool, but other than that I don't know what else to do. For context I am 26 years old.
• Papi_Chulo

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  10 years ago

  Congratulations – you did the right thing – you don’t need a chick like that. BTW – what’s her #?
• Clubber

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  10 years ago

  ranukam, I think you did the correct thing. Look at it this way, nothing has changed for you. If you had chosen the other path, odds are that it wouldn't turned out well.
• steve229

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  10 years ago

  "she's probably the highest earner at her club, she made a little over 125K last year" Only $125K? I guess it's true - women do make 50% of what the men on here make.