San Antonio? Why is it so lame?

Two things to know about TUSCL content:

Most of what you get is the 60% experience in the middle because most of the people writing the reviews also "need" the reviews. Lots of god complexes around here from dudes getting laid in clubs where a mannequin with a hard on could get laid lol. Plus a lot of reviewers and board people here just repeat what they've heard instead of what they truly know. For the average customer who's just trying to get a feel for what to expect that's good enough.

Best thing you can do to help yourself is to be clear about what you're looking for and think about sending some PMs to guys who wrote reviews that were about a decent time. Another thing to keep in mind are the best club reviews are sometimes the ones that don't get posted.

San Antonio in general sucks. It’s pretty much Mexico. Go to Dallas or Houston for good strip clubs.

Which club is pay to park? Granted I haven’t been to a San Antonio club in a long time, but “fancy uptight” is not really what I remember about the vibe of the clubs. And I doubt that has changed when the city itself has only very mildly moved that way. I guess I’ll have to read some reviews later lol

San Antonio is chill and laid back.

Guys, if there’s any clubs you like, just tell me.

Yes, Dallas and Houston are great, but I’m unable to drive 3 hours to Houston and 3 hours back after work. Obviously. Dallas is 5 hours away.

I haven't been to strips clubs there. The River Walk was as impressive af. Few US cities have any attraction I've liked nearly as much.
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Most places in the US have a very sucky strip club scene, it's for quirky reasons when they don't. Generally in the US, it plays well to have sanctimonious over-regulation of strip clubs. But people in NJ know that people in NYC would laugh at them even more if they did that shit. And being laughed at by NYC is NJ's greatest fear.

It is counter-intuitive that the most liberal cities have the shittiest strip clubs. Chicago- as blue as it gets. San Antonio & Austin - bluest strongholds in a red state. DC, Seattle, Portland, San Francisco, and others all have terrible clubs. Some, like Orlando in Florida, are understandable. Disney controls the city and wanted to keep a family-friendly vibe. Then you go to Providence or Detroit, and they have a great rep. I do not think it can be understood. There are too many layers that go into successful strip clubs to really get why some make it and some don't.

Charles Barkley said San Antonio is full of fat chicks. Is this true?

It's only #13: wallethub.com

Idk, it’s the main club I worked at in San Antonio so I’m super biased. But I checked the social media and even with all the inflation nationwide that club still has $2 Tuesday drink specials in 2025 so I doubt much has changed. Parking is free and even if it’s not for whatever reason, the club is in a pretty large shopping center so there are options.as far as I know, I believe dances are still $20/song? I haven’t heard of prices going to 3/100 or anything.

The club tiers in that club are just two different areas you can go if you think the seats are more comfortable. It doesn’t really affect much else. There may be some option to use their lounge area in a separate room, but it’s probably not needed. Though it can be a good option if you want to do a lot of dances in a more quiet area because a lot of people don’t use it. There’s also a tv in there that shows the main stage if you're the type who doesn’t want dancers approaching you right away. There is also some area with extra tables nearby the couch dance area. Customers are supposed to pay for that but I’ve snuck customers over there to do dances if the couch area is full because f— standing around and waiting instead of making money. It’s either to not have to pay for either of you want a good time, and I don’t think the staff really upsell those areas.

*Oops I somehow forgot to type in the name of the club I was talking about. Perfect 10.

bible country

Man, I have no idea what 1/2 of you are even talking about.

I've only been to San Antonio once, and I thought it was great. It must've been 10 years ago. Girls were super hot, at the time, average was easily a 7.5/8. Extras were tricky, iirc, but mileage was great, plenty of two-way action and in the pants handshake, and GFE treatment. The only downside was pasties -- some girls just didn't want to take them off. Another downside was some places were spanish speaking only (but not for me). My one friend said it was downside by having so many to pick from to see which one gave great laps -- a lot of swings keeps the batting average down.

If you tried to get extras, nicespice would do a Last Stand at the Alamo reenactment, playing Davy Crockett.