How to enjoy SEXtracurricular Activities (Without the SO Finding Out)
DougS
Florida
Friday, February 4, 2011 9:10 AM
This may not be a concern for many guys, but I know there are some of you out there that want to "play" but do not want their significant other (SO) to find out. I know. I'm one of them. I have been clubbing and hooking up OTC (Outside the Club) for many years and over the years, I have learned from experience some hints that I thought might be of value. I hope someone will find something of value here and from that will find their hobby enjoyment will be improved.</p>
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<b>ENTERTAINMENT FUND </b></p>
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One of the first lessons I learned was that I needed to have a "stash of cash" from which I could pay for my activities while being transparent to my SO. This might not be a problem for those that handle all of the household finances, but since my SO closely monitors the finances, I had to come up with a solution. Whenever I acquire money that the SO is unaware of, it immediately goes into my entertainment fund. Over the years, this fund has grown pretty large - and always seems to be drained by the end of the year, with a lot of fond memories made.</p>
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Maintain a bank account at a bank SEPARATE from your "normal" accounts</p>
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Use your business address and phone number for this account (don't risk calls or mail alerting someone to this account)</p>
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Keep all records, bank books, etc., hidden in a safe, secret spot (a drawer at work maybe?) CAUTION: Keep in mind, this account WILL show up on credit reports, so if she looks at those, DO NOT open an account, just keep your "fund" stashed somewhere</p>
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<b>CLOTHES</b></p>
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My SO has a very sensitive nose and the least bit of an unfamiliar smell will raise all sorts of red flags with her. A strip club will leave everything that enters it reeking of smoke. Also, any "up close and personal" activities with a girl will leave her smells on you; everything from perfume to pussy smells will stick to you. In addition to smells, there's a potential for stains from bodily fluids (BOTH yours and hers), as well as beer spills. You also have those unthinking girls that stupidly wear glittered lotions, and makeup. How do you avoid all of these hazardous complications? I have purchased a set of clothes that I only wear on my Sexpetitions.</p>
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I bought two pair of black dress slacks (the kind that are strip club approved - soft, thin material that allows the sensations to be enjoyed while not chafing you or the girl), three shirts and three undershirts. No need for underwear, 'cause Commando is the way I roll. Initially, I would sneak these clothes in and out of the house, washing them before taking them back to my office until they are next needed. This however, proved to be a problem because it was difficult finding a time when no one was home to see my laundering skills. My SO also could always tell when I'd done some washing, and she was getting suspicious. The answer to that little dilemma was the dry cleaners. It is a little costly (about 15 bucks per "outfit"), but they clean them and press them, and even fold my shirts into packages that look like the shirt just came off the shelf at the store which is ideal for storing and packing without wrinkling. It should be pointed out that you should find a dry cleaner off the normal routes that your SO travels, and be careful what information you give the cleaners. You don't need a call to your house phone reminding you that your dry cleaning is ready.</p>
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<b>PERSONAL EFFECTS</b></p>
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This is an area that can easily "bite" you, if you are not taking care. I currently am using a backpack into which I pack my "OTC Kit". I keep of all the items separate, never letting them accidentally get put in my regular suitcase, which could spell disaster. "Honey, why do you have condoms?" uhhh... not easy to talk your way out of THAT one, is it?! (NOTE: It should be pointed out that the OTC kit contains everything I might need during a hotel encounter, including shot glasses, "toys", condoms, lotions, camera, tylenol. A whole article could be written on this subject, alone.)</p>
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Before I leave for any sexcapades, I empty things out of my wallet that would spell trouble if they were lost. I also remove my "regular" credit cards, because any charges paid for with these cards, that show up on my bill would certainly create havoc. Especially damaging items like hotel charges, restaurant bills, shopping bills and the like would all be damning; even worse when they indicate you were in a city far away from where you were supposed to be. Another small detail is the removal of all of your cash, replacing it with money from your fund. Of course, it's important before returning to civilization that your reverse all of these precautions. You want to restore your wallet and it's contents to be exactly as it was prior to your fun and games; same amount of cash, etc. Be especially careful before returning home. Go through ALL of your pockets, go through your suitcase. Clean out - preferably vacuum out - your car. It just takes one strand of long hair... one book of matches... one silly receipt to totally ruin your day.</p>
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<b>ALIBIS</b></p>
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This is one of the most important details. It is of utmost importance to come up with a convincing alibi that covers the entire time you will be gone. For me, I "travel for business" - well, very rarely do I actually travel for business, but that is my alibi. Of course the alibi has to be more detailed, explaining why you have to travel. If at all possible - and this is yet another very important aspect to keep in mind - try to make your alibi place you in at least the general vicinity of where you are actually going. It just makes it that much better, and safer. You do NOT want to find yourself explaining why you had a car accident near Indianapolis, when you were on a business trip to Detroit - BELIEVE me! Your alibis need to be convincing and you should be original, too. You cannot use the same alibi over and over again, unless it makes complete sense that you'd be doing what you claim to be doing, over and over again.</p>
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<b>CELL PHONE</b></p>
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Ideally, one should purchase a simple pay-as-you-go cell phone and use that to communicate with your girls. I have not done that for several reasons, one being that at one time you couldn't text with them (not sure if that's true anymore, or not). If you use your personal cell phone, watch out for the billing statement / records, which would indicate the numbers of girls you have been communicating with, as well as locations to which you have talked (which could indicate where you have been that could also raise some red flags). I use my company issued cell phone, which eliminates the problems associated with billing records, etc. However, no matter what phone you use, you have to be careful about incoming calls from your girls. I have sat next to my SO many times and had my phone vibrate because I am receiving a call or a text from my girls. This, obviously is very dangerous. I've resorted to coughing, or moving, in order to cover the sounds. If I am expecting communications, I will set my phone to silent, which helps. Still risky business.</p>
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Recently, it has been mentioned that Google Voice can help tremendously. I am just now beginning to make use of Google Voice. It is great and can really help out in these matters. And it's free. You can even pick out your phone number (if it's available). My number, not so coincidentally, ends with 2286 (2CUM)- gotta like that! With Google Voice, you give out your GV number, and in your account you can configure it to ring up to three devices, or go directly to voice mail. Voice mail can even go to your email, where you can read / listen to them. You can even send/receive text messages with Google Voice. The beauty of it is, you can control if/when a particular phone rings. You can even screen incoming calls and decide to answer or send to voice mail. If one of your girls "acts up" and you decide to fire, you just block her from calling!</p>
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Make sure if you save your girls' contact information on your cell phone, if there's any chance at all that your SO will see your phone display, I suggest that you use names of businesses, rather than "Bunny", "Bubbles", "Veronica" - names that could raise suspicion if called ID or call records are viewed.</p>
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<b>NAMES</b></p>
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This is another area where you should exercise caution. I recommend that you do not give out your real name - at least not until you have built trust with a girl, though many would argue NEVER! I usually give my business card to girls I want to get better acquainted with, and so far, that hasn't caused me grief. Admittedly, there have been a few times when I've worried that someone would track down my home phone number and/or address which could lead to some definite uglies.</p>
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Though too late for my past and present girls, I think in the future, I am going to make up fake business cards with a "customer name" (like a stage name for us PLs), that will include my Google Voice number. That way, I can stay somewhat anonymous. I already have determined that name, and have associated emails established (Yahoo and Hotmail) that make use of that name. I will use my first name, along with a last name that is similar to my last name, which should cover everything from accidental slippage, to a waitress saying "Thank you Mr. [insert my name]" upon payment of my meal tab.</p>
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That's all that comes to mind at the time of this writing. I'll probably remember other tips after I publish. I really hope something said here will prove to be helpful to someone out there, perhaps allowing more play time and maybe even saving a marriage or relationship. I'd be interested in any feedback.</p>
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