“A La recheche du temps perdu” or A Remembrance of Things Past

6/29/2024 7:21:12 PM

Remembering the time just before COVID

I had just found out that my scheduled trip to Frankfurt to speak at a conference was cancelled. I was supposed to fly out on Saturday March 14, and I got the notification from the conference organizer Thursday morning. That was my first hint that this COVID thing was not going to be “no big deal”. The good news is that the organizers were on the hook for my flight and my honorarium was non refundable. The bad news is that my plans to extend my trip a few days and spend those funds at as many FKK’s as my body could stand now were no longer possible. What to do in Philly with unexpected time and “extra” money...? And with rumors of widespread closings coming? Get a months worth of strip clubbing done in 1 day, with all of the extras I could handle.

The itinerary:
Appetizers at Penn’s Port Pub
Lunch at Oasis
Dessert with “extra” chocolate at Purple Orchid
Check into University City Hotel, grab a power nap
Dinner at Atlantis (actually at Abner’s Cheesesteaks next door, with all of the “extras” available at Atlantis.
After dinner drinks at La Pearl/Outer Space.

For those TUSCLers who have read my Philly area reviews in the past, there will not be the same level of meticulous details derived from me constantly taking notes on my phone. My plan was to wallow in excess and not take my eyes off of whatever ladies were in front of me. And by the next day, some of the details were in fact a little hazy, possible due to blood flow being diverted from my brain to other areas. Club details and descriptions of dancers I remember interacting with are from some previous reviews, so please forgive the self plagiarism.

Arrived around 12:15 PM. Sign on outside of entrance door said “Smoking allowed”. They aren’t kidding. When you enter, there is no inner door, so you may walk right into someone seated at the bar because it will take your eyes a second or two to adjust to the dimmer lighting.
There were a few other customers there and the three dancers who worked 3 song rotations on a small (4’x4’ square) stage.

There were 3 ladies dancing, I say ladies because they all looked upper 20’s/ lower 30’s. I recognized Natasha She has mid back length light blond hair and a slim proportional Figure. Very pretty face. I’d rate her a strong 8. Naked by 3rd song, but as she was clean shaven, I am unable to confirm if she is a natural blond. The other 2 dancers were also blond, slim and hot. There.s a definite type at Penn’sPort, and its one of MY types. Tipped all of the dancers liberally as they came by after their sets. They walk along the top of the bar, naked of course, and then squat down so that they can be tipped. Great views and pleasant to talk to. The downside, of course is that there are NO DANCES, just good beer and great views. After all 3 came around, I finished my drink and headed out.

Arrived at Oasis hungry and horny. I knew the kitchen could take care if hungry, wasn’t certain if I would be able to meet the other need there. There were around 8 dancers working, I recognized Vivian, Chloe and Mercedes. The others were a mix of all colors, but attractive shapes only.

Ordered a drink and some food from the cute bartenders. IMO that since Cheerleaders bought the place, the bartenders are better looking than before.

Vivian (Hungarian MILF type) than a hot tight 20 something, but really very attractive. Think of all of the Hungarian porn stars you can check out on line, she’s an older, but not old looking version. Her curly blond hair went past her shoulders. She is slim with medium sized tits (great gumdrop looking nipples). She allowed lots of barside roaming and was quick to straddle/grind my leg while giving me a nice prolonged “handshake”. Offered both regular and Champagne room dances, but even with the extra cash I was planning to spend, the $165 for a 15 minute CR seemed too high. Bought her a drink and we spent some time talking while engaged in some under the bar groping. Fun time.

Next was Mercedes. Always a fun time. She has a slim figure small ass, smaller tits & tongue piercing. Her curly brown hair comes down to her mid back . She also allowed lots of barside roaming and grinding on my leg while whispering in Spanish in my ear. I freaked her out when I responded to her Spanish in Spanish. She kept pushing the $165 for 15 min /$300 for 30 min Champagne Room I definitely got the sense that she was more liberal in her menu than Vivian but again could not pin her down on specifics.

Chloe (Caucasian) She looked like a swimsuit model on stage. She is tall with dirty blond ass length hair. Her enhanced top was very well done. On stage, she quickly stripped down to a small g-string. She was very friendly to chat with on her tip round. Not so much about hanging out and getting fondled for a few dollars, but she is definitely hot. After I’d finished my food, and talked to and tipped a bunch of dancers, I headed out, thinking that Oasis is a very different club from my next stop — Purple Orchid which is just 2 miles down the road.

For those who haven't been there, a quick guide to the layout: When you enter, directly to your left is a table where $5 cover charge is charged at night, no cover during the day. Directly beyond that is the entrance to the open multi seat $20 couch dance room. To the right are 2 small private ($30/dance) rooms with a wide chair on one side facing a full length mirror.

Bar is a rectangle in front of you as you enter, you are facing one of the short sides. Seating is all around the bar, dancers seem to congregate on the left side, or the back end.

After 2 stops to eat and get revved up, I planned on getting a few helping of my favorite chocolate desserts, which are plentiful at the Purple Orchid because the dancers there are more than 95% African American.

There were 9 dancers working when I arrived, with more coming in as the afternoon went on. And I got at least 1 dance with all but one of them (she was just to BBW for me —sorry Papi Chulo)

The great thing about this place is that girls expect you to grab their asses, squeeze their tits, slip your hand under their thongs in both the front and the back. Now, you will be tipping them during this, but I mean come on.

1) Riley is a light complexion young looking petite spinner with short brown hair worn up, She was wearing a pink bikini type type outfit. She has small A breasts, small aureoles and gumdrop nipples. Would have loved to have gotten a dance from her, but and the end of her tip walk, she locked up with one guy. Decent roaming and a handshake during her tipwalk.

2)Babe is a babe. She is a tall medium complexion dancer with shortish hair worn up. She was wearing a sheer outfit that nicely showed off her medium ass and smaller tits. Her long legs looked great during her slow yet graceful routine. She showed some flexibility with some splits and straddles on the stage

3) Nu is average height and has a medium complexion. She has a trim but good figure with straight dark hair nearly down to her round full ass.For her 1st set she was wearing a 1 piece costume that looked opaque on the stage, but was very see through from up close during her tip walk. Great views of her medium large breasts and large aureoles. Her outfit for her 2nd set was a tropical print bikini 2nd set with a TINY g string bottom. Good pole work.

4) Malaysia is a larger dancer with a dark complexion. Not a BBW, more of a Papi Chulo type. She was wearing a neon green bikini and the back of the bottom disappeared completely between her cheek. Her narrow width top didn't quire cover her nipples. She has small curls black curly hair halfway down her back. Friendly, but not my type.

5) Choc (yes, that was the name she gave) is a medium complexion dancer with shoulder length honey blond hair She has an average frame/slim figure , but natural looking breasts that are a size or 2 larger than would be expected. I was a bit put off by the pierced nipples and spider-webbed tats centered on her aureoles. Her gstring kept getting lost in her small bubble butt.

6) Satin has a medium complexion and slightly wavy back hair down to her mid back. She has big (slightly droopy) breast with pierced nipples and a larger ass. There was lots of over the thong kitty petting when lying on stage during her set and she was the 1st one to describe her menu for dances when she came around for tips.

7) Seduction is tall with a dark complexion . She is smaller up top than below with a bit of a belly and mid back length dark straight hair. A personal pet peeve of mine is that she came 2x for tips prior to stage. But as there was a fair amount of roaming and groping allowed, I obliged her and was able to verify that her ass was just as firm and smooth as it looked. She wore a black slingshot type mono kind and did minimal pole work but the only seen so far. Asked if I did rooms, offered to take care of me.

So what was unusual to me is that I haven’t actually had a private room with any of these girls. But I was sure going to. After sitting backAnd enjoying the view for a while, I decided to take matters to hand and when seduction came back for her next step I made sure that she knew I wanted her to stop by afterwards.
A quick conversation into the availability of a private Billy Joel concert in the $30 room was hand, and we went forward to complete our rendezvous. I love the mirror in those rooms, when your girl is down between your legs doing her work, and you can look over and see the view from the front and the back, it’s really worth the extra $10 over the $20 public rooms.
Seduction definitely lived up to her name, I felt quite seduced.

After our time was over, I went back to the bar finished my drink gathered myself together and headed out for my next stop.After our time was over, I went back to the bar finished my drink gathered myself together and headed out for my next stop. Checked into a Hotel by the University of Pennsylvania, took a quick power nap got changed and walked over to Atlantis, just three blocks away.

Unfortunately, Atlantis was dead. It was so dead that I even tried to get my cover charge back. Wasn’t able to, but I don’t understand how a club can be this empty when it’s in a good part of the city and has a college right next to it.Back to the hotel to get the car to head into west Philly to a place that if you haven’t been there, the descriptions can’t do it justice. I’m talking about Outer Space and La Pearl.

These are 2 different floors of the same corner building at 54th and Pearl in West Philadelphia, 1 block from Haverford Ave. It’s West Philly, so the neighborhood isn’t the greatest, but there is usually on street parking within a block and security keeps the area under observation. I’m a middle aged white guy who has been there more than 5 times and have never felt unsafe going to and from my car and in the club.

The $10 cover charged is collected by security either right outside or inside the entrance, which allows access to both clubs (both floors). Each floor has a bathroom, downstairs it’s a unisex bathroom and there was soda and the sink tap worked. Upstairs, there are separate men’s and women’s rooms, but there was no soap and no water . The layout downstairs is a long skinny room to the left of the entrance, and when I say skinny, there is room for 1 person to sit at the bar and one person behind them to lean on the wall. If someone wants to walk between, there will be sone contact, which can be nice if it’s a dancer moving around. The seats at the far left are mostly completely hidden from view of anyone at the entrance, and mileage there can be infinite. By that I mean fly open/pants down in the chair with a bottomless dancer impaled on a dick. Yes, in public, yes, 5 ft away from you. Not my cup of tea, but in summertime, when shorts are an option, the friction of a grind other thru the shorts or with leg slid up can cause an LDK.

They layout upstairs is a slightly wider area the same length as downstairs but with the bar at the far end of the room with seats on 2 sides. On the far end of the room, there is a small private room with a locking door, small couch available for $20, but as mentioned, the room is not required for FS if your not shy.

When I arrived at 6:15 PM, there were 3 dancers downstairs (La Pearl) and 4 upstairs (Outer Space). Dancers are 99% African American, usually ranging from 5’s to 7’s, but having a mostly naked dancer grinding her ass on you for $5 per full length rap/trap song adds 1-2 to my personal subjective rating system.

Usually during my reviews, I take notes on my phone about the dancers and what they’re wearing and how their stage shows were with your names were how receptive they were to tipping when I came around after their sets. It doesn’t really work at these places. The musics too loud to hear the dancers name, and what’s available is for five dollars the dancer will grind her ass against you in one of the seats for the full length of a quite long but quite loud rap song. The differences in the dancers are some are taller some are shorter some more skinnier some are more full figured, some complexion some with a darker complected all of those things you can tell before you make your selection.

What you find out after you pick one and she starts her dance is how open and available they are to roaming in by rooming I mean grabbing tits and rubbing nipples, sliding your hands down the front of whatever small outfit she’s wearing or the back and playing with whatever you can find there. Some are down with it, others not so much. The ones that are not so open, after one song pay them their five dollars, give them a tip if you feel generous, and move onto the next. The ones that are encouraging of your intimate interaction with them, keep for 2,3,4, or more songs. If you are seated in one of the famous seats at the far left-hand side of the bar on the first floor, if you want to take it even further with the dancer, it’s up to you. No one will say anything if suddenly your pants are around your knees and you are fucking the dancer from your seat. Not my style, but I make sure I note what the answers were doing that, so I can make sure to keep my hands away from any problem areas

Over the course of the evening, I believe I saw 14 different dancers, some milk chocolate, some dark chocolate, but no white chocolate. Of those, I got dances with 11 of them. One was just too large, one seem to not be able to see me (I wonder if it’s because I’m white), and for the other one, the only time I had the opportunity ask for a dance, she just finished a set over in the magic seat area, and I wanted to give her a chance to clean up.

The 11 dancers I did get dances with fell into two groups, three of them I only got one dance from me because they were, shall we say, hands off, and their outfits stayed quite attached. The other 8, some I got three or four dances with, some I got two or three, and one I got six with. I went back to the $20 room twice with two different dancers, and received Purple Orchid like service from both of them. Prices were even lower than at the Orchid.

My only real complaint with this place is they close to early. Lights were on and you’re being chased out by 9 PM. I mean I was kind of finished by then, but the lore of a five dollar for rap song length grinder from a mostly naked dancer can do wonders for keeping one up past ones normal bedtime

Takeout was offered by 2 of the dancers, but I’d had a long day, 3 pops, and I was pretty worn out. Definitely wished I’d gotten numbers though; could have been useful over the last 12 weeks.

Anyway, that was my day, a vignette from a time that we may not see again for who knows how long. COVID, quarantines, social distancing, economic devastation, protests, rioting/looting/burning (one episode just a few blocks from OSC/La Pearl all combine to make me unlikely to be able to or feel safe trying to repeat that anytime soon.