So this may not be what it seems. I’ve been seeing an ATF for about a year, about 1-2 times per month. I drive over an hour to the club. We keep in touch so I know when she’s coming in. We talk about a lot of things.
What made me frustrated was that she told me she’d be there that night. It was around noon. I got there around 9 pm and it’s a long drive and she knows that. She wasn’t there and I never got a text from her. She also works another job and I’m respectful of her time.
But I didn’t get a text. Later on she says that she had to work and her wi fi was bad, so no text. She texted me the next day about personal things going on and acted like nothing happened.
My friends say she’s playing me and probably doesn’t want to see me. That’s why she doesn’t show but only wants to text personal stuff for validation. I don’t know what to do. I gotta have some self respect. It’s not right for me to drive so far if she never intended on coming.
Overall she’s had a good record and lets me know when she can’t make it. She has even told me not to overspend and wants to make sure I have enough money to get home. I just wish I could get an apology or something otherwise I feel like it’s not right.
Of course she’s not my wife, so I have no business in making demands. But I was exhausted after that drive. Is it okay to maybe ask for a discount or at least a light apology? Yes it’s a strip club but even customers deserve some respect and we should respect ourselves.
Again, I respect her time. It’s just usually I expect a text when someone cancels. My gas and time was burned. Gas is pretty high now. A text at some point would have been nice. I feel if I don’t being this up, I have no self respect and am being a doormat.
Honestly how would you handle it as a man? A gentleman with class?


If you have an ATF dancer who is 90% dependable then consider yourself lucky. Many dancers aren't that dependable. Personal opinion ... you're making this into a bigger deal than it needs to be. Wires got crossed. It happens.
Also, if you found yourself in a strip club absent your ATF, then that was an opportunity to try other dancers. You can have fun with more than one dancer. If I had to drive a long distance, then that's what I'd do. I mean, you're still in a building filled with hot nearly-naked women. It shouldn't be a struggle to make lemons into lemonade in this situation.
[On that note, a while back I had a dancer not show up on a night she said she'd be there. When we next chatted, she was explaining why she didn't text me and I basically said, "Don't worry about it. I had a great time with (Dancer Name)." Her communication skills seemed to improve from that point on. Funny how that works...]
Try this... the next time you're supposed to meet at the club, text to her "I'm planning to start the drive to the club soon. Just want to confirm that you're going to be there before I get on the road." If you don't hear from her, then don't go. Or, go and have fun with other dancers.
But I wouldn't get hung up on apologies and such.