discussion comment
10 years ago
A man was eating noodles at a restaurant when he found a pubic hair. He raised a big stink and refused to pay. The owner wasn't happy about it but finally relented. The man left and went to a brothel across the street. The owner (who also owns the brothel) followed a little while later. He opened the door on the room to find the man eating pussy. The owner is livid. "How is it that you are so disgusted by finding 1 pubic hair in your lunch that you won't pay, but your can rush right over here and bury your face in a mound of them?"
"If I find a noodle in here I'm not paying for this either."
discussion comment
10 years ago
What did the stripper do with her asshole before work?
Dropped him off at band practice.
Or re-hab, or any other fill in the blank you chose.
discussion comment
10 years ago
Get snipped, wear protection for STDs.
discussion comment
10 years ago
Mr. Sheen, oops I mean LMN, did you really have sex with all those hot babe co stars on 3 and a half Men?
discussion comment
11 years ago
I meant 1 dancer not I dancer
discussion comment
11 years ago
Just for humor or entertainment value. The girls rarely remember your name the 1st few times anyway. I dancer came up and introduced herself as Chasity, I said glad to meet you my name is Promiscuity.
I have have also said my name is Bruno, or Dirk Diggler. Then I'll say that is my "club name". I don't use my real name.
discussion comment
11 years ago
When asked if I want a dance, "Yes, but not with you".
When she says her name is Mercedes or Bambi or some other such thing, "Wow, your parents must have known you'd be a stripper right when you were born".
discussion comment
11 years ago
What you guys call stick shifting I refer to as the secret handshake, especially when when she does it to get me to buy a private dance.
article comment
7 years ago
I remember the time when I got a sweater for Christmas, what I really wanted was a moaner or a screamer.
article comment
9 years ago
I know there are a lot of terms for anal, butt it's all Greek to me. (I've been waiting along time for the right place to use that line.)
I have my own 2nd meaning of ATF: Ass Too Fat.
First time I've heard of a Stevie, I know it as motor boating.
You didn't mention stick shifting, which I refer to as the secret handshake. If she wants me to take her to the VIP she has to know the secret handshake.
article comment
9 years ago
This is kind of a little bit of a couple of your rules, if you see a guy turn down a lot of girls, don't write him off. Ask anyway. He might have told the others no, saving himself (and his money) for you.
article comment
9 years ago
RE #1: Always ask. Very good advice even if you have been there before, even if you have been there a lot. First time talking to a new girl,(new to me that is) I want to know her rules, her deal. I've had girls quote their rule, touching is required!
article comment
9 years ago
one was so fucking fat I expected to see a harpoon sticking out of her back - I'm still laughing minutes later. Reminds me of a Dangerfield line: "Last time I saw a mouth like that it had a hook in it."
article comment
9 years ago
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GACAUn-retired: Met my ATF. Married her. Divorcing her.
Great story. Well written.Great satire etc. I read the 2 new articles today, a dream followed by a nightmare.
My system can be summed up very briefly, and I got it from a great source, the Bible.(Although I can't remember chapter and verse.) "Ask and ye shall receive". Of course the Bible didn't mention how many times and how many girls you had to ask, nor did it mention you also had to ask how much.
article comment
10 years ago
When I was thinking up the names for the "suspects", I was focused on using the initials of what the girls provide, e.g. BJ FS HJ etc. I have now thought of other names based on what they are. An extras girl: Trixie Turner. Or maybe a spoonerism: Fittie Tucker.
I'm adding these as a comment because I'm not sure if another episode is forthcoming.
article comment
10 years ago
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Papi_ChuloMiami, FL (or the nearest big-booty club)
I have some shorts made from a soft material. They also have an elastic waist band, no belt needed and easy access. I also wear silk shirts. The girls love the smooth feel of my attire. I don't go full commando. I wear briefs with loose leg holes. My 1st stop at the club is the Men's room, I twist the waist band to the right and go what I call balls out. Same sensation as commando, but you can go back in if necessary.
article comment
11 years ago
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Papi_ChuloMiami, FL (or the nearest big-booty club)
I had a couple different strippers tell me they were squirters, my standard reply is "So am I".