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I'm a disciple of The System, as in I absolutely and thoroughly believe in its merit. Like those who are enlightened by whatever religious book, I found myself with similar zeal reading and studying, questioning the metaphors, debating interpretation, but more importantly living the way of The System and asking myself what would RBD do? Good thing there are literally hundreds of discussion and comments contributed by The Teacher.

What is The System?

More than a few ago years now, RBD published a Jerry McGuire like memo who's mission statement would read:

OTC is inevitable for a man in a three piece suit (35% of the time within 18 months)**

Granted at the time I was confounded, I just couldn't believe that it could be so simple. At that time OTC seemed like a far off fairy tail, like the land of 1000 virgins for those who die for Allah. But RBD's memo spoke with the sort of assurance and guarantee like the words of a Messiah, and that those that believe in The Word would be spared from eternal frustration and enter the kingdom of plentiful pleasure (35% of the time within 18 months)**

Anyway (and this is not a joke) I did don a three piece (albeit grey) the very next time I hit the club, unfortunately to very little fanfare. I was at the bar, away from the stages like I was supposed to be, yet still seems I was being ignored and the only person who hit me up was the bartender asking if I'd like to order champagne, repeatedly. Of course I not anticipating this, panicked and quickly made an excuse to leave the club.

I felt like a failure, I was sure I was just supposed to look like money not actually have any -- so says the first few paragraph of The System. But it seemed like I would have to actually have money if I looked like money --a wrinkle, or maybe I miss interpreted, either way, I went again. Black three peice, $300, and in case of emergency, a credit card with $2000 limit. I was ready. I reread the gospel, a with renewed confidence I entered the same club I tucked my tail between just a week earlier. PP Cola. Sure there was a lot of other competing PL's but I was the only one in a three peice, and yah, it did provide me with an air of superiority. Back at the bar:

Me: "Madame bartender can I order the champagne?"

BT: "Glass or bottle?"

Me: very smug: "Well can I get a list?"

BT: "Did you pick your girl and talk to Tony?"

Ok, new wrinkle, WTH does champagne have to do with a girl and Tony?

Me: "Well, ya not yet because I wanted to see the list first"

BT: "Tony has the list, go see him. Did you already pick your girl? Never mind work it out with Tony...hey Tony!!! He wants champagne"

Tony: "Hi sir, so have you taken the tour? No? Let me show you the room, and who's the girl accompanying you?"

Me: "Eh...I didn't... I mean i was just..."

Tony: "Oh yah I get it bro, I'll hook it up, you like tits or ass, I mean what's your type I got them here, hold on, Eva, come here, he's having champagne, do you want to join him?"

Eva: "oh you want to have champagne with me, he he, OK, hi sweetie what's your name, thanks for wanting go with me, it's been a shit day, all these losers in here nobody is spending, come on baby Imma take care of you, what champagne did you get?"

Me: " Ya, I uh..."

Eva: "oh you haven't picked...Tony get us the Moet... I just love Moet it makes me so horny, and Tony we want the cheese basket not the fruit..baby I've been hungry all day since I got here, I'm gonna have so much more energy for you after I eat,OK just sit down right here. Tony is just bringing the paper work, I'm so excited right now and you.. I never get someone this handsome taking me back here, I'm actually going to really enjoy it and not have to fake it, he he"

Tony: " Hope I'm not interrupting yous two, imma get out of here quickly and let you two do your thing, she's hot right man, anyways its $600 for the bottle you have the room for the hour, Eva, how much did you two work out?"

Eva: "$500"

Tony: "OK so that $1100, how we paying cash or credit"

Me: "Eh...ya, the thing is... I didn't. ...well, it's just.......... credit"

Tony: "Cool bro, I just need ID and your thumb print here, and sign here and here. Ok you two I'll be back in an hour"

Eva:"Hey baby, I'm just going to run to the bathroom super quick, cheese hurt my stomach a little bit"

What the Fuck Just Happened?! $1100 dollars!!! I was not planning on this, OK $900 left on the card, and I had $300 in my pocket, was not going to sweat it, what would RBD do? I'm thinking he plays it cool. I don't like this chick but I'm sure the other girls know I have cash now, so I'm focus on this OTC. Fuck, it's been 15 mins, where is this bitch?

Eva: "Hey baby I'm back, OK so I wanna know what you do for a living? Do you mind if I smoke? God, you don't understand how many losers are out there tonight"

Me: "Ya, that sucks... so like what did I just pay for here? Just to talk? Can I cop a feel or something? "

Eva: "Yes, oh you're new to this?"

Me: "Umm, No...just to here, and I don't know what you can. ....it's just I hear the south is super strict"

Eva: "Ok, so the deal is this is just a quiet place for a lap dance, but I think you're hot, and so I'm going to let you suck my tits if you want, but baby be good to me tip wise, I'm not a whore, so if you pull it out I'm walking out no refunds"

Me: "so I just paid like a grand to talk to you?"

Eva: "Huh, sorry baby, my roommate sister is trying to steal her shit right now, that's so fucked up, she doesn't ever do anything bad to nobody she doesn't deserve this shit, like why are people so fucked up like that?"

Me: "I don't know, so any way...

Eva: "She took care of here though, hold on my roommate is just outside the door, I promise I'll be right back and make it up to you"

Me: "Hey is my time still. ... fuck, well she better make it back up when gets back"

Eva: "sorry it to a few minute, ok...come over here and sick my..."

Tony: " hey brother having fun, wow whoa..I don't see nothing"

Me: "That's because nothing is going on, no offense dude but.."

Eva: "Tony you should give him some extra minutes on our second session he's super nice and respectful"

Tony: "ok bro, so round two huh? I don't blame you, k so it's going to be super less expensive, cuz I can tell your cool bro, I'll bring you a bottle $300, and Eva did you two work out round two?"

Eva: "Ya it's the same."

Me: "wait, hold up. I don't... I'm sorry but I didn't really enjoy round one and we.."

Eva: "Tony give us a second... Sorry baby you know that things with my roommate, anyway, look your touching my tits don't you like them, and you don't have to tip me for the first session if you buy the second one, you'd be out like $300 dollars, and because you were do patients (places her mouth on the zipper of my pants) I'm so going to make it up to you, opps, hehe, you are so hard right now, wait...can you feel that? I am so wet...hold on, Tony!!! We are gonna do this, give him like 10 extra minutes ok"

Tony:" ok sign...and thumb. .alright you two...have fun"

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Ok, second time out living the system and I almost paid for a blow job, things were looking good