Things you thought about saying to strippers but decided not to:

Hon, you so remind me of my daughter when she was your age!

There should be a retirement age for strippers.

"This ridiculous suit? Yeah, I don't normally dress like this, but I am practicing The System by RickyBoy tonight."

It is far past time for you to choose a different profession.

How can you be so stupid to try and hustle/rob me for such little money when I've been so generous with you already.

you remind me of my drug using skank x gf

I disagree on the retirement age thing. I've seen 35yo strippers that looked better than a lot of 20yo.
Also I'm 45 so a 40yo that looks good would still appeal to me.
How about a 65 or 70 yo customer. A 40yo may be very appealing.

I wouldn't get a dance from you if you paid me!

You smell like stale farts.

I do get dances, just not from fuglys like you.

Are you pregnant?

Please stop the phony affection crap and go away. I don't like you.

I was going to come over and offer to fuck your brains out, but apparently someone beat me to it.

I was going to tell you a joke that is so funny it would make your tits fall off... apparently you heard it too many times already

Are those real?

Have you ever been to a dentist?

Are you SURE you don't want a breath mint?

Are you a smoker or a volunteer firefighter?

I really hope that/those tattoo/s can wash off at the end of the night. Otherwise, I hope you got a refund.

Looking like you do, did you really think you would make money in this line of work?

How do you hide those big, giant things on your chest when you're not in a club? What do people say when you go to the grocery store?

I have no problem with you lying to me. I have a problem with how bad you are at it.

What's it going to take for YOU to consider OTC?

You're not very good at faking interest in what I'm talking about.

Is your cell phone the focus of your life?

Why should I tip you when you've done nothing for it?

With a black dancer, it's always "So is blonde your natural hair color?"

Were you my teacher back in high school?

I'm 99% sure I smell cum on your breath.

No, I don't think of you as a friend. Do you pay your friends to hang out with you?

This story again?

Wow, your pussy looks really blown out.

Nice tits....Got milk?

Can I buy you a drink...or do you just want the money?

I like #5! Lol, they all seem like pick-pockets! Ha ha!

I actually said this to a scrawny black girl that would not leave me alone despite being told no I do not want a dance and no I do not want you to sit down. I knew she was a ROB and wanted her to go away. I finally said loudly "I will you $1 to go away and leave me alone". A couple of other dancers burst out laughing when she grabbed the dollar and went away in a snit. A dancer I had spoken with before came over still laughing and told me that was the scrawny girls M.O., she would not leave until the customer went back for a dance with her and then would demand more dances and extra for dances not given and right now she was likely in the back bad mouthing me.

Go away! I don't like you and you 're killing my action!
I don't like fake tits.
I only like white girls.
I am not here to buy you drinks! (Actually said that once)
Damn! I wanted THAT girl!

I don't get dances from strippers who's asses are bigger than mine.

I'd like to frame this thread and post it at the entrance, outside, at my least favorite strip club.

@toysales - Its not really about the age although that plays a big role. Some of these dancers are so worn out that the only way they can make money is to beg or hassle PL's until given money just to go away. I'll never understand why they're allowed to work in the club.

Must be a tortuous way to make a living and its usually written all over there haggard faces.

@ Lone_Wolf: Sorry for getting off-topic, but to respond to your question, a lot of clubs will hire and keep any dancer that walks in the door asking for a job. As long as she shows up for work and pays her house fee, no matter how unattractive she may be, or how few dances she sells, the club is still making money off of her. Here in Seattle, I can attest to that. Hopefully, any one club won't have too many dancers like this.

Is it bad that I've said a fair amount of those things?

"My god your crotch smells like two month old dead fish."

"Ever think of suing the doctor who did your implants?"

"Who told you that Gertrude was a good name for a stripper?"

"I think you should have retired ten years ago."

"Come back after $100,000 worth of plastic surgery and 100 lbs lighter."

"Ugh, Your breath smells like you just got done eating at John Madden's tailgate party."

"What makes you think I'll get a dance this time, after I said no four other times?"

"Oh yeah, keep that up I am about to cum."

"Oh wow, from now on I am waiting until after you have gotten a little drunk."

And a few I did say:
"I am jealous of your kid," to one of my favorites, as I was squeezing her tits, and after she had just returned from giving birth, about two cup sizes larger.

"You ought to change your name to Viagra," to a dancer who I had tell to back off three times during five songs, the first time less than halfway through the second song.

"Here comes Shamu." To one of my favorites sitting next to me when a really fat dancer came on stage.

Lol! This is a great discussion!

When the waitress asks you to buy the girl a $60 drink... "I don't like small talk. Men don't come here for your amazing personality nor for your exceptional conversational skills."

you smell worse the 3 week old road kill

Its about time to shave your legs Ms. Flawless

When asked by a very angry dancer if I was sleeping with another dancer

not yet

I was like a second away from saying it too.

I have heard some guys say some mean things but I figured most posters here know it doesn't usually benefit them to speak their mind unless they just don't care.

If you say these things, it just means you speak what's on your mind irregardless of the consequences. In many cases you might upset someone. It might make someone mad at you.

Yeah you got to be careful what you say sometimes.

I was in a club in New Orleans once where someone yelled out something like, "get off the stage lard ass," shortly before getting getting tossed out by the bouncers.

I really should have said this once when a dancer got an attitude because I didn't buy her a drink. "Because if I DO buy you a drink, you'll continue to sit here and talk to me, keeping away the dancers I actually like."

I did once say to a dancer who was looking for a tip by claiming that she was working hard; "yes, but you're in the wrong line of business"

When asked if I want a dance, "Yes, but not with you".

When she says her name is Mercedes or Bambi or some other such thing, "Wow, your parents must have known you'd be a stripper right when you were born".

TheFword. that's a good one. :)