10 Commandments for Strip Club Enthusiasts
Jetblack
Ohio
Having spent quite a bit of time over the last 15 years in various strip clubs, massage parlors, and various other adult entertainment locations all around the country, having seen the adult entertainment business change dramatically when CL and Backpage started their sites, and then seeing the CL adult site close after the serial killer, and having seriously dated one stripper for 18 months and been involved in various relationships with other strippers, I thought I'd share a 10 tips for any budding enthusiasts out there.
1) Thou shalt inquire about the club. You should already know that all clubs are not created equal. There are clubs where I would take a business client, clubs that I would go with a date (an open-minded and freaky date, mind you), clubs where I'd go to watch a game and naked women, clubs that are great party places, and clubs where I go only to feel and get felt. Doing your homework on TUSCL and checking out websites is helpful, but the best information comes from the dancers themselves. I have found that especially if a dancer comes by you to ask for a tip or a dance, if you say "This is my first time here, can you tell me about the place?" or ask about the rules, you can find out everything you need to know: how much contact is allowed, where is it allowed, do girls give extra attention, does she give extra attention, anything you need to know without having to ask alot of detailed questions. (I've always been told by dancers what clubs might suit my particular interests on particular day better.)
2) Thou shalt know or learn what thy preferences are and cater to them. As I said in commandment 1, all clubs are not equal. Learn what you prefer and spend your time and money in clubs that cater to your preferences. I learned early on that when I go to a strip club I want as much contact as possible, and therefore a lot of the Franchise Clubs don't suit me because they tend to minimize contact. So if I am at a club and the dancer tells me that there is little or no contact, I plan a speedy exit. On the other hand clubs that seem a little seedy to others often work our well for me because they tend to be a little more relaxed around the touching issue.
3) Thou shalt bring more money than thou expects to spend. Unless you are very uptight about money, it is easier to spend more money that you planned than it is to fall trying to roller-skate down stairs. I have a habit of taking the money I am planning to spend in one, easy to reach pocket, and the money I don't want to spend in another, harder to get to pocket. While most strip clubs have ATMs or other ways of turning plastic into cash now, the surcharges on this can be high. Better to have a little too much money than a little to little.
4) Thou shalt tip appropriately. Tipping should be considering into to the money you bring (commandment #3). While it should make common sense to tip the bartenders/waitstaff, tipping the dancers is important also. Girls watch the way you treat other dancers, and they talk about how you have treated them in VIP or lap dance rooms. Giving a couple of dollars, especially when a girl is on stage doing something noteworthy, can go a long way, and I have seen it turn an ordinary night into an unforgettable night with vibrators and dildos and whipped cream and...
5) If thou liveth in the city with a strip club, thou shalt make a stripper friend. Its easy to do, and you don't have to have a serious or really any relationship with them outside of the club. But knowing a name, a story, something about a girl can go a long way. Dancers are people too, and its just good practice to be a good human being. It can also help make a good not great and a save a night from being a disaster (buy me a drink and I'll tell you about the time two strippers tried to set me up to get robbed before a friend tipped me off.
6) Thou shall know thy acceptable risk and act appropriately. If you have a job where you don't want people knowing you attend strip clubs. Have an alias, but know your alias. Know your name, your occupation, whether you are local or visiting long before you go in. Know it well enough to be able to tell it drunk. If you want to make a friend, have an extra phone or another way to communciate other than using your real number.
7) Thou shall never bring thy main phone in a club unless it is absolutely needed. Pocket dials during a lap dance can be awkward. Best to avoid having one all together.
8) Thou shall respect boundaries. This another rule that is essentially, "Be a human being". Please refer to rules 1 and 2 and know that whatever your preferences may be there is a club for you, and likely there is a girl at most clubs willing to accomodate you for the right price and proper treatment. There is no need wasting time trying to convince, must less argue or fight someone who does not wish to fullfill your fantasy. Its much, much easier just to move on.
9) Thou shall plan in advance for thine alcohol consumption. This of course applies to drinking and driving. Don't risk it. Its stupid and dangerous. But this also applies to your actions inside the club. Are you looser with money once you are drunk? Does your personality change? Have someone who knows these things about you and is willing to step in to save you from yourself and/or save someone else from you if need.
10) Thou shall have a good time. Your first few trips into a strip club can make you nervous, especially you don't know what to expect. Just try to enjoy the sights, the sounds and the feels. They can provide endless amounts of good memories and great stories, so don't waste too much time being nervous. Sit back and enjoy!!
1) Thou shalt inquire about the club. You should already know that all clubs are not created equal. There are clubs where I would take a business client, clubs that I would go with a date (an open-minded and freaky date, mind you), clubs where I'd go to watch a game and naked women, clubs that are great party places, and clubs where I go only to feel and get felt. Doing your homework on TUSCL and checking out websites is helpful, but the best information comes from the dancers themselves. I have found that especially if a dancer comes by you to ask for a tip or a dance, if you say "This is my first time here, can you tell me about the place?" or ask about the rules, you can find out everything you need to know: how much contact is allowed, where is it allowed, do girls give extra attention, does she give extra attention, anything you need to know without having to ask alot of detailed questions. (I've always been told by dancers what clubs might suit my particular interests on particular day better.)
2) Thou shalt know or learn what thy preferences are and cater to them. As I said in commandment 1, all clubs are not equal. Learn what you prefer and spend your time and money in clubs that cater to your preferences. I learned early on that when I go to a strip club I want as much contact as possible, and therefore a lot of the Franchise Clubs don't suit me because they tend to minimize contact. So if I am at a club and the dancer tells me that there is little or no contact, I plan a speedy exit. On the other hand clubs that seem a little seedy to others often work our well for me because they tend to be a little more relaxed around the touching issue.
3) Thou shalt bring more money than thou expects to spend. Unless you are very uptight about money, it is easier to spend more money that you planned than it is to fall trying to roller-skate down stairs. I have a habit of taking the money I am planning to spend in one, easy to reach pocket, and the money I don't want to spend in another, harder to get to pocket. While most strip clubs have ATMs or other ways of turning plastic into cash now, the surcharges on this can be high. Better to have a little too much money than a little to little.
4) Thou shalt tip appropriately. Tipping should be considering into to the money you bring (commandment #3). While it should make common sense to tip the bartenders/waitstaff, tipping the dancers is important also. Girls watch the way you treat other dancers, and they talk about how you have treated them in VIP or lap dance rooms. Giving a couple of dollars, especially when a girl is on stage doing something noteworthy, can go a long way, and I have seen it turn an ordinary night into an unforgettable night with vibrators and dildos and whipped cream and...
5) If thou liveth in the city with a strip club, thou shalt make a stripper friend. Its easy to do, and you don't have to have a serious or really any relationship with them outside of the club. But knowing a name, a story, something about a girl can go a long way. Dancers are people too, and its just good practice to be a good human being. It can also help make a good not great and a save a night from being a disaster (buy me a drink and I'll tell you about the time two strippers tried to set me up to get robbed before a friend tipped me off.
6) Thou shall know thy acceptable risk and act appropriately. If you have a job where you don't want people knowing you attend strip clubs. Have an alias, but know your alias. Know your name, your occupation, whether you are local or visiting long before you go in. Know it well enough to be able to tell it drunk. If you want to make a friend, have an extra phone or another way to communciate other than using your real number.
7) Thou shall never bring thy main phone in a club unless it is absolutely needed. Pocket dials during a lap dance can be awkward. Best to avoid having one all together.
8) Thou shall respect boundaries. This another rule that is essentially, "Be a human being". Please refer to rules 1 and 2 and know that whatever your preferences may be there is a club for you, and likely there is a girl at most clubs willing to accomodate you for the right price and proper treatment. There is no need wasting time trying to convince, must less argue or fight someone who does not wish to fullfill your fantasy. Its much, much easier just to move on.
9) Thou shall plan in advance for thine alcohol consumption. This of course applies to drinking and driving. Don't risk it. Its stupid and dangerous. But this also applies to your actions inside the club. Are you looser with money once you are drunk? Does your personality change? Have someone who knows these things about you and is willing to step in to save you from yourself and/or save someone else from you if need.
10) Thou shall have a good time. Your first few trips into a strip club can make you nervous, especially you don't know what to expect. Just try to enjoy the sights, the sounds and the feels. They can provide endless amounts of good memories and great stories, so don't waste too much time being nervous. Sit back and enjoy!!
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