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The story you are about to read is true. The names have been changed because no one is innocent.

This is the Biggest Little City,Reno NV. It combined with its sister city Sparks is second only to Sin City in Nevada's population. Reno has great outdoor activities, annual events as well as many casinos, wedding chapels, near by brothels, and 5 strip clubs. When the girls remove their clothes on stage that is when I stand at attention and get into action. My name is The F Word, I carry a condom.

Wednesday November 5th, 1:15 pm I was working the day shift along 4th St. My boss is me, my partner is no one, I work alone. I was seeking out seeking Extras Providers, an unorganized bunch of dancers who seem obvious at times and are very elusive at others. All of us know that all dancers use a stage name. The EP girls have extra names that most of them may not be aware of as initials are commonly used instead. On the bottom of my suspect list is Hannah Johnson. She often pretends she is someone more desirable until the moment of truth when you think to yourself "I could have done that myself". She also usually over priced. Next is Bella Jones. She is not as common as Hannah but more satisfying, and often at the same price. This girl can change into a couple of her sisters, 1st: Betty Lou Smith. This sometimes requires an extra tip, or sometimes it happens spontaneously when the boys come out to play. The 2nd sister can go by many names most of us refer to her as Fiona Shaw, or Fiona Sanchez. The only EP girl I've met so far who knew her extra name introduced herself as Phuk Mi. She wanted to do a double team with her friend Phuk Yu. That is another story.

I entered my 1st club and went to the bar and got a cola drink, then proceeded to an empty table. There were 2 girls in evidence, 1 on stage and 1 giving an older gentleman a lap dance. The stage dancer was new to me, the other I had talked to before. I sat at the stage and laid down some greenbacks. The stage dancer was not my type so I declined an offer of a lap dance. Finished with her gentleman, the other dancer came and sat with me. From previous conversations I knew that she wasn't an EG and I had a brief conversation before I declined her dance offer and moved on. I did learn that afternoons had been really slow as of late, including a day the previous week with no girls in attendance all afternoon.

2:10 pm I entered the club nearly across the street. I counted 4 girls right off and 2 more showed up a little later. Most of the girls I would call ATFs. But not the definition the rest of you use. This time it stands for Ass Too Fat. I once again made may way to the bar for a cola drink. I recognized some of the regular girls including 1 who changed her name from when she used to work across the street. She hustled me for a 15 minute VIP dance saying Hannah Johnson would help out, but she never came out to play. I did not see my normal Bella Jones girl, but I wasn't surprised as she is usually just a weekend girl.

Sitting at a table by the stage I was joined by a young skinny girl you had just arrived on duty. We had a conversation about all the normal small talk things. She brought up the subject of private dances. That meant it was time to check out her aliases before going into action. Even though she had a tongue piercing she said she wasn't Bella Jones. She said she was Hannah Johnson for a yard and a half, plus I could play with Oliver Bush. This was my final stop on today's patrol. So I settled for the only member of the EGs I could locate.

2:40 pm I paid out the requested fee and adjourned to the curtained off private area. The deeds were performed as advertised, with good times had by both parties. I would not give this a top ranking, improvements were needed in the grip, I had to tell her to loosen up a bit. I requested some dirty talk but it lacked any imagination or enthusiasm.

3:00 I was back in my car today's patrol was over. Reports to be filed about Extras Girls, but not with extra words, just the facts PLs, just the facts.

Author's note: The story you just read was true. I thought of this clever parody over the course of several weeks, but wrote it in 1 sitting. As clever as the story is I still haven't thought of a good title. That is why it has such a lame one. If you try to morph Dragnet into Stripnet or Clubnet it sounds like a web site. Dragclub has totally the wrong meaning and Dragstrip is already taken, who knows it might work. Any suggestions?