discussion comment
11 years ago
More than 75% of men DON'T like going to SCs?
So...were wives/girlfriends in the room when these questions were asked?
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11 years ago
@shark. Have you seen the sequel, where Juice bombs the fast moving glaciers with sizzling bacon? Saves the world 'e does. And totally scientifically plausible to boot!
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11 years ago
And there is Julie Andrews 1981 Best Tits Oscar for S.O.B.
Acceptance Speech: "Do you guys realize that this was the first time ever I showed my tits to anyone, aside from my husband of course. And the boyfriend before him. And the dozens of quickie affairs before the boyfriend. Wow. And what about the fact that I chose to premiere my boobs for the first time at the age of 46 - and straight away won! Perhaps I should pursue a softcore porn career from now on, seeing as how not many offers are coming my way these days - apart from getting to star in this stinking bomb coz Blake knows he'd never get oral sex from me ever again if he didn't give me parts in his movies. After all, why else marry a Hollywood director, right? Certainly not because of his looks, I mean just look at his stupid face. So here I am, all the way, way way back from the naive 60s "Mary Poppins" fluff for the kiddies to this vapid tasteless comedy directed by my stupid husband Blake Edwards - now that deserves respect. To tell you the truth, showing my tits wasn't his idea, it was mine. I guess I just wanted all those young cows to see how a pair of middle-aged tits can stand and not hang despite their age. And now I even snatched the award right under their noses. Kiss my ass, bitches!"
discussion comment
11 years ago
True dat ilbbaicnl, but unless you choose one how are you going to hear acceptance speeches like:
Diane Lane, 1987 Best Tits Oscar
Acceptance Speech: "I'm so glad that finally an American woman won this amazing award again. If I hear another acceptance speech in French I'll slit my husband's wrists. Anyway, so cool to have the rare honour and privilege of flashing my boobs in two different movies this year, which was both fun - and funny. Funny coz, I mean you should've seen the film crew! Half the guys were jerking off, while the other half were struggling to find clean tissues. Damn, it's fun making art."
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11 years ago
Well...to each his own Motorhead.
Alas, there are few 19-year old redhead strippers with freckles and no tats. Hope springs eternal with every club I enter.
FUCK YEAH REDHEADS!!!
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11 years ago
Jennifer Connally fuck yeah... Totally nailed the 1990 best tits Oscar!
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11 years ago
I like canny's take on this.
I think that neither conservatives nor liberal areas are going to necessarily be good areas, as SuperDude asserts. If you think of it, what are the benefits to being pro strip club for a politician?
None. Few people will vote for you specifically because of the pro stripper agenda but you know many will vote against you. So the politicians that either don't say anything of those that are anti are going to win the day.
The only hope is that most politicians won't care enough once elected to do anything about the clubs.
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11 years ago
Tuna dude... I knew you were a big Bieber fan!
Do you follow him around like a weird, twisted deadhead? In your windowless panel van with a tear-stained air mattress in back.
All ican say Tuna man is -- that's a valid life choice. As long as you don't hurt anybody, go cruising after the Biebs in yo' groovy groovy van!
Peace
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11 years ago
Mo-head my brother... -7 for red hair?
To each his own I suppose but as I see it there is nothin' better than a hot, sexy redhead.
'Cept a hot sexy redhead with freckles. And a sexy sexy red landing strip.
Weeeeee-yaaaawwwww!
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11 years ago
Juice is electable... On the dose the water with molly and acid party!!!
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11 years ago
Props to SuperDude's comments. It is hard to imagine that 50 years ago America had a group of people that were 2nd class citizens in every way. I think that we can stop worshipping our found fathers one day a year and reflect on that change for the better.
Or take in a 20% off sale. Your choice. Personally I prefer the reflecting on the fact that the country is better, but if you dig the sale thing does it really matter whether it is a MLK day sale or a Washington's Birthday sale?
But things aren't perfect. Alucard tells the truth when he cites voter suppression efforts.
And Tiredtraveller, unless you voted against Obama BECAUSE he is black your vote doesn't make you racist. I voted for him both times because, well, consider the alternatives. If you really think McCain or Romney would have done better all I can say is I'm certain you're wrong. Lesser of two evils, doncha know.
But voting for Cain? Dude, the "liberal media" didn't run him off. The fact that he was a class A-1 NUTJOB cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs KA-RAY-ZEE dude got him kicked off the campaign trail. Couldn't even pay off the chicks he sexually harassed properly.. I'd sooner vote for a Juice/Crazy Joe ticket than Herman Cain.
Fuck man...Juice's platform could be "I wanna dose the water supply with molly and acid once a year and make it a holiday -- CALL IT CARROUSEL (sic) " and that would STILL be saner than ANYTHING Cain proposed.
Plus, we'd get MDMA and LSD in our water once a year. Now that's gummint I can believe in!
JUICE 2016!!! JUICE 2016!!! JUICE 2016!!! CARROUSEL!!! CARROUSEL!!! CARROUSEL!!!
Yes we can! Yes we can! Yes we can!
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11 years ago
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ilbbaicnlKeep it in my pants when I do OTC. If I were a stripper it would stand for I like big bucks and I can not lie.
I'm lookin' forward to wherever this thread is a goin'...
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11 years ago
Oops
http://faptuary.net/wp/tag/jessicachastain/
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11 years ago
Don't be so self-deprecating ilbbaicnl my brother...consider it a challenge. I know you can devise some groovy stuff...
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11 years ago
Oops...sofaking. Damn autocorrect.
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11 years ago
To each his own in terms of taste, but all I can say is:
http://faptuary.net/wp/alexandra-daddario-nude-true-detective/
Weeeee-yaaaaww
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11 years ago
Thx so faking my man.
I'm a waitin' for jackslash's entry in the contest. I can tell it is going to be epic! Just call upon your muse my friend.
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11 years ago
Fair enough Dhadowcat my many. Many an Internet meme is stupid. And the incessant use of the term has trivialized it relative to the usage intended by Dawkins.
But...some Internet memes are frickin' funny!!!
In the spirit of givin' the lulz all I can aay is...c'mon bros! Ilbbaicnl my man...bush hair helmet was frickin' incroyable! Riff on it. Or share more of your groovy groovy insights! Juice my man...why did you want to scare poor Clinique? Did you really think she wanted a drumstick in the pooper?
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11 years ago
You're a good man Esta.
Even as a young man my attitude toward drinkin' and druggin' was "it's all fun and games 'til someone pokes themselves in the eye...the trick is knowing how to stop before that happens"
Looking back I was lucky. A little buzzed is ok (as long as you don't drive) and pot would be cool if it were legal. But don't overdo it and don't encourage others to go overboard.
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11 years ago
Spuds my man, look the dancer in the eye and say "would you let me put an XXXtra KRIS-pay drumstick up your ass for $5?"
If she says no you'll be rid of her, if she says yes you'll have the fun of a drumstick up the pooper moment in your life. Win win!
Seriously though, the thing I hate is when you politely tell a dancer to move on and she pushes the issue and you basically have to say "no, I'm not going to get a dance from you." Take a hint...
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11 years ago
OK my pervo brothers...LET'S SEE SOME CREATIVE WRITING!
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11 years ago
What do I speak of? ilbbaicnl's assertion that Annette Funicello probably used hairspray down thre to create a "bush hair helmet". Plus, we heard a large number of "creative" (cough...stupid...cough) stripper names. Perhaps those of us versed in creative writing could weave them into a groovy story. I'll start:
On the road in South Carolina I stopped into a topless place to have myself a beer. When who should sit down next to me but a pretty little number with a fine body and huge tits. She introduced herself as Dildo. I couldn't resist, so I shot back with "Well, I go by Zippy...but trust me, I can go slow when I need to...and Dildo, I trust that is not the name on your birth certificate...if it is, your parents are either really coo-el or totally fucked in the head."
The waitress brought me a beer and a Cosmo for my new friend and I noticed a look on Dildo's face. With a catch in her voice she said "no...I used to dance as Clinique in a club across town, but this crazy guy that said he works in a Piggly Wiggly as a bagboy came in with a bucket of KFC". I replied "Hmmm...that sounds odd. Was there no food in the club? Actually, I'm peckish -- are the Nachos disgusting? Happy to share." From Dildo I heard "Thank you, no...all the food is pretty crappy...but the KFC bagboy guy sat down with me and offered to pay me $5 to stick n extra crispy drumstick up my ass. I told him no but he hung out near the club shouting 'man-dang-a-low' at the top of his lungs".
I looked at her with concern "I could see how that would be frightening...were you concerned that he would follow you if you continued to dance as Clinique?" all the while reflecting silently on the stupidity of both names. But the she said "no, I got here and the hot blonde over there was dancing as Dido...she said it was a Queen of some country called Cathage or something...prolly made up. But I said I wanted a Queen's name too and she suggested Dido's daughter, Dildo."
Incredulous, I had nothing to say for a few seconds. Finally, I asked "ummm...it is Carthage...but I don't think Dildo was a Carthagian Queen and even if there was doesn't the current meaning of dildo evoke an odd response?" "Current meaning?" she inquired. Seeing that I had a special girl, I said "yes, you know...the sex toy." At this point she said "never heard of it...my mama hated sex...after she had me she hairsprayed her bush to create a 'bush hair helmet' so daddy wouldn't fuck her no more...so didn't teach me nothin' about sex."
Then she asked if I wanted something called a BBBJCIMNQNSQWERTYUIOP which she claimed the other girls taught her. Like a standard BBBJ but with more QWERTYUIOP. I couldn't resist but I'm still not sure how much QWERTYUIOP a blow job should have...
discussion comment
11 years ago
Syphillis Diller -- that is friggin' hilarious Slick.
@TT -- Clinique possibly takes the prize for stupidest stripper name.
How about the following:
Merkin
Darth
Khaaaan! (with exclamation point)
Dido
Dildo
Magneto
Ra's al Ghul
Twinkie
DoctorPhil
Oprah
Blinky
Snoball
Knob gobbler
Knobgoblin
Venom
Juggs-er-naught
Grabthar
Txtittyfag
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11 years ago
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ilbbaicnlKeep it in my pants when I do OTC. If I were a stripper it would stand for I like big bucks and I can not lie.
But who knows...I might be Seymore.
I bet Juice is Max!
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11 years ago
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ilbbaicnlKeep it in my pants when I do OTC. If I were a stripper it would stand for I like big bucks and I can not lie.
Well...I'll tell you this ilbbaicnl my friend. I ain't Max Hardcore. That dude is a sicko. Got put in prison my man...he faught the law and you know the rest.
Checked Wikipedia 'bout ol' Max. Says "Since he has been out of prison, Max stated in a February 2012 interview that he "wants to do good in the world", and has now gone back into the porn industry.[26]"
So...which one o' you sickos is Max Hardcore?