Use your TUSCL memes!
zipman68
the speed force!
Yesterday, we saw the introduction of something that could grow into the next TUSCL meme. Perhaps this fine holiday morning would be a time to see how this new meme could play out.
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On the road in South Carolina I stopped into a topless place to have myself a beer. When who should sit down next to me but a pretty little number with a fine body and huge tits. She introduced herself as Dildo. I couldn't resist, so I shot back with "Well, I go by Zippy...but trust me, I can go slow when I need to...and Dildo, I trust that is not the name on your birth certificate...if it is, your parents are either really coo-el or totally fucked in the head."
The waitress brought me a beer and a Cosmo for my new friend and I noticed a look on Dildo's face. With a catch in her voice she said "no...I used to dance as Clinique in a club across town, but this crazy guy that said he works in a Piggly Wiggly as a bagboy came in with a bucket of KFC". I replied "Hmmm...that sounds odd. Was there no food in the club? Actually, I'm peckish -- are the Nachos disgusting? Happy to share." From Dildo I heard "Thank you, no...all the food is pretty crappy...but the KFC bagboy guy sat down with me and offered to pay me $5 to stick n extra crispy drumstick up my ass. I told him no but he hung out near the club shouting 'man-dang-a-low' at the top of his lungs".
I looked at her with concern "I could see how that would be frightening...were you concerned that he would follow you if you continued to dance as Clinique?" all the while reflecting silently on the stupidity of both names. But the she said "no, I got here and the hot blonde over there was dancing as Dido...she said it was a Queen of some country called Cathage or something...prolly made up. But I said I wanted a Queen's name too and she suggested Dido's daughter, Dildo."
Incredulous, I had nothing to say for a few seconds. Finally, I asked "ummm...it is Carthage...but I don't think Dildo was a Carthagian Queen and even if there was doesn't the current meaning of dildo evoke an odd response?" "Current meaning?" she inquired. Seeing that I had a special girl, I said "yes, you know...the sex toy." At this point she said "never heard of it...my mama hated sex...after she had me she hairsprayed her bush to create a 'bush hair helmet' so daddy wouldn't fuck her no more...so didn't teach me nothin' about sex."
Then she asked if I wanted something called a BBBJCIMNQNSQWERTYUIOP which she claimed the other girls taught her. Like a standard BBBJ but with more QWERTYUIOP. I couldn't resist but I'm still not sure how much QWERTYUIOP a blow job should have...
2.
meme
Used to give a bit of pseudo-academic gravitas to stupid viral shit.
A 'meme' doesn't have to be funny, provocative or even make sense. Most memes fall into one of three categories:
- 'Quirky' stuff that isn't funny.
- Pathetic stuff that fills you with vicarious despair.
- Revolting pictures that could be presented to some alien jury as evidence that humanity is cancer.
All that is required for a meme to succeed is for a critical mass of basement dwellers to get in on it. This being done, it will be spread over bulletin boards everywhere like the pox. Much drama and the locking of thousands of discussions across the web will follow, for what is known to the trolling elite as 'lulz'.
This word defies easy definition. It lost touch with 'funny' long ago, and now looks suspiciously like the sort of drama-whoring same 'elite' correctly pans.
The meme having taken hold, they and similar circle-jerking gobfags proceed with a relentless propaganda onslaught on its behalf, which culminates in several hundred fucktarded spinoffs and maybe - if it's clean - a spot on the news.
At this point, the sneering pricks who first publicised the 'meme' declare it to be 'old' and begin to snipe at anyone still found to be using it.
Said pricks then go back onto 4chan to find 'new memes'. Maybe a cute animal saying something incongruous. Maybe four old men eating each other's shit. Maybe someone failing on Youtube. Rinse and repeat, FOR TEH LULZ you pitiful fur in the arteries of mankind.
But...some Internet memes are frickin' funny!!!
In the spirit of givin' the lulz all I can aay is...c'mon bros! Ilbbaicnl my man...bush hair helmet was frickin' incroyable! Riff on it. Or share more of your groovy groovy insights! Juice my man...why did you want to scare poor Clinique? Did you really think she wanted a drumstick in the pooper?
I'm a waitin' for jackslash's entry in the contest. I can tell it is going to be epic! Just call upon your muse my friend.