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10 years ago
Of course carrot cake donuts count!
Wait...the make carrot cake donuts?!!
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10 years ago
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motorheadFat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life
LOL.
it isn't the use of a large object as a sexual aid that surprises me. But leaving it up your snatch...how high do you have to be to do that?
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10 years ago
@sharkdude -- did you answer truthfully? I picked randomly and got a low chance of being possessed.
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10 years ago
Many of the student-fuckin' teachers have been hotties that I could picture dancing or escorting after they lose their teaching job.
This chick...not so much. Plus, she has a trailer park vibe going on. She's looks like she's going to age into Honey Boo Boo's mom.
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10 years ago
^^^
I'm sorry to say, but Denny's will not be cool until they all get a liquor (or beer and wine) license and start serving PBR. And hire topless waitresses.
I want to have my Grand Slam delivered by a hot topless chick, sit back, and drink me some PBR.
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10 years ago
^^^
Oh yeah...cflock. Now I remember! That shit was classic.
Slick my friend, didn't Brother Juice offer cflock the drumstick that had been up the stripper's asshole? And that sick bastard cflock ate it. That was some seriously twisted shit.
Good times, good times!
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10 years ago
However, that time CJ posted about shit was kind of iconic. And now he's posting something about a shovel. That's potentially iconic.
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10 years ago
@Alexrain dude...What did cflock post that was funny or informative? No disrespect, but I just don't remember him posting much. Did try to get sclvr5005-dude's goat, but other than that I just don't remember much from him.
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10 years ago
To be fair, the cops may have been really stupid. But yeah...this seems hard to believe. Regardless, it is funny as shit.
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10 years ago
Alabegonz my friend, I'm going to take a step back and say something totally serious. You're way too emotionally involved. The way you're talking you're investing girlfriend levels of emotional involvement with this woman. That's cool if you're actually dating, but if you're paying her that isn't cool.
You seem like a good guy. Treat girls with respect. Don't go all RickDugan and hope she'll have some drug crisis and become cheaper for you, but never forget that she isn't your girlfriend. You guys are connected by money flowing from you to her and her letting you fuck her for said money. At a certain point you have to change your phone number so you don't get calls from her other clients and just tell her "babe, I'm going to find another chick to fuck...buh-bye".
If I've misinterpreted and she really is a girlfriend, all I can say is I hope it gets better. But I still think you have to disengage.
Good luck bro!
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10 years ago
Is "pathetic little PL" redundant? Or maybe it could be a recursive acronym...
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10 years ago
Dougsta, have you really bumped this thread enough? I don't know...bet you could bump it some more!
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10 years ago
@alabegonz, my brother. Stop right now. You're writing about this stripper like she's your girlfriend. I have a few questions for you...
Does she fuck you for free?
Have you quit your job and are you crashing at her place and playing X-box all day? (Note, feel free to substitute "Playstation" for "X-box")
Does she buy drugs for you?
Are you planning to start a career as a rapper?
If you can answer yes, keep doing what you're doing. Continue fucking other chicks, ideally using money she gives you to get your music career off the ground. Just consider the drama the shit you have to do to enjoy that lifestyle.
However, I'm going to assume you're paying her. The reason you pay a chick to fuck you is to reduce the drama. Tell her "no money for you unless you stop being a bitch...by the way, your friend is hot...how much does SHE charge for a BJ?" Then go fuck her friend. As Bugs Bunny would say "that'll loin her". And Bugs wouldn't lie, would he?
Oh, and get a burn phone dude.
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10 years ago
^^^
Don't hyperventilate dot-dude. I don't normally swing this way, but if your extra special nice I'll let you give me a rimjob.
(Sotto voice...don't worry fellas, I haven't gone all gay and shit. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I figure the dot-dude will be so excited by the prospect of lickin' some "asswhole" that I'll be able to hand him an armadillo and he'll just get confused and give it the rimjobbie)
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10 years ago
Oh, I'll add that in times of trouble I also reflect on Eliot. For me it is...
Shall I say, I have gone at dusk through narrow streets
And watched the smoke that rises from the pipes
Of lonely men in shirt-sleeves, leaning out of windows? ...
Those words are helpful for almost all of life's challenges. Adopt them as a mantra. It will help.
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10 years ago
@alabegonz dude, take the advice given by Steve-dude and Steve-dot. Don't let yourself go. Get back on the whores!
But seriously dude, was this a girlfriend or your fave stripper? Why would she care if you're fucking another stripper at 5pm?
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10 years ago
In the spirit of the above, I offer for your approval LNM's classic "here's my luxurious villa...taken while hang gliding!" post.
https://www.tuscl.net/postread.php?PID=29277
I miss the LMN dude. Yes, he was full of shit. But he was also funny as shit! But his "troll troll" LNM really hit the mark here!
Bravo LNM!
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10 years ago
JS69 has a great idea here and it would be nice to put together as good a list as possible of iconic posts. There are a few challenges.
First, some iconic posts actually comprise multiple threads. For a recent example, I've found Steve-dude's ebola posts funny as shit and might view them as iconic in a year or two. But the funny part about them is a combination of the repetition of the #ebola.strippers trope and Steve-dot's attempts to inject himself into the conversation.
Second, there will be major disagreements regarding what folks view as iconic. Personally, I come here to laugh and feel there are only so many ways to say "yeah, so I like getting BJs". OK, that's cool, I like BJs too...what guy doesn't? But make the chick giving the BJ a succubus or an alien from a parallel universe...now we're talkin'! OK, you still have to take that idea somewhere, but it has the potential to be iconic.
That said, JS69 has put forth a challenge. Let's go for it!
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10 years ago
Are you sure she wasn't a double from another universe?
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10 years ago
Another classic is Juice 3:16
https://www.tuscl.net/postread.php?PID=20533
Not so many replies, but it was the culmination of the trope that Juice is a prophet of the LORD.
As the Juiceman might say "thank about it". If the creator of the universe was actually beaming messages into your tapioca it would really fuck you up. No normal human would be able to deal with that.
So what would a prophet be like. I tell you, he would be just like a madman! Think of John the Baptist...crazy dude in the wilderness communing with God. I always loved Strauss' Salome...aside from the music Jochanaan was perfect as a prophet. Inspiring lust in Salone while he condemns her, until Salome asks for his head on a plate and kisses the lips of the severed head. Fucking intense.
Juice the character (as opposed to Jackie the dude) was just like Jochanaan at this time. Crazy dude receiving messages from God or Metatron or aliens or the CIA and sublimating them with drugs and strippers. I tell you there were depths to that craziness!
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10 years ago
Well, I nominate "Names & Numbers...and Lists" by the late Brother Alucard
https://www.tuscl.net/postread.php?PID=23534
That post was epic and bonkers! At a personal level, I also liked it. Alucard could be a tad judgemental and I initially thought he was fuckin' with us and being a bit of an asshole 'bout it.
But weird shit like this made me see a different side of him. He actually had an interesting sense of humor and was a pretty nice guy once you got to know him. Unfortunately, he was genuinely sensitive and many of us hurt him, including myself. Sometimes it was jokes at his expense, other times it went too far (including his doxing).
We won't see the likes of that dude again. Raise a glass of non-alcoholic beer for that crazy Vulcan. Rest in Peace.
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10 years ago
Mikey dude, maybe you should send Founder a screen shot.
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10 years ago
^^^
Unless, of course, the ebola pandemic kills us all first! #ebola.strippers
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10 years ago
Sorry to hear about the health issues art. Just use the liquor to entice disco dollies to a life of vice.
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10 years ago
^^^
I'm sure the housekeeping staff doesn't actually check the fucking Bible for cleanliness. You're probably doing them a favor by putting the used condom in there. They would have to see that shit in the trash can. So I will say you SHOULD put the used rubber in the Bible.
At some point all of the Bible's pages will be stuck together. To save the housekeeping staff the experience, just take the jizz Bible to the trash yourself.