This Was How I Broke Up With My Fave Dancer, How Was Yours?
alabegonz
She was not in the mood and was bitching, probably because I did not walk along with her when she was walking around the store, I simply sat down in one of the benches and sat there waiting for her to get done. It was not good for me to be with her at the moment because she was simply not in a good mood.
My phone rang, it was set to vibrate but it was vibrating loud that she could hear it. I picked up my cellphone accidentally tripping the speaker phone on.
"Hey honey, what are you doing now? I thought we are going out around 5PM?"
Fuck.
She heard it loud and clear, she got up her seat, opened the door and slammed it hard. She walked away and came back after ten minutes.
"It's not only her, there are two more."
"Whores! fuck your whores!"
She got in the car and said "take me to downtown Portland I need to meet someone."
We got out of that place and she was so quiet, looking outside the window, her bitching stopped which was so good.
"Now you know what is going on with me. It's all on you now, if you call me that means we are still friends, if not then I know you will let me go in peace. Please let me go in peace."
She changed the topic to another conversation. Her mood changed from bitchy to something more that I like, I was very impressed with the sudden change of mood.
"I need to see this person around 5PM, I need to go. Bye."
She inched towards me and kissed my cheeks, I kissed her cheeks as well.
Off I went.
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Not with a bang but a whimper.
But seriously dude, was this a girlfriend or your fave stripper? Why would she care if you're fucking another stripper at 5pm?
Shall I say, I have gone at dusk through narrow streets
And watched the smoke that rises from the pipes
Of lonely men in shirt-sleeves, leaning out of windows? ...
Those words are helpful for almost all of life's challenges. Adopt them as a mantra. It will help.
Scuttling across the floors of silent seas."
What you are describing is how to break up with your Girl Friend. Sometimes this is necessary. The more strange it gets the less you want to be in any private space with her and the less you even want her riding in your car. You don't want her slamming its doors or otherwise rough handling it. You don't want her making a scene in front of people unless you are free to walk away. Sometimes women do start attacking inanimate objects. It is a form of mock violence. If not responded to, it may escalate to real violence. Likewise, sometimes they will put on scenes in front of strangers, making it look like something very serious is happening. Sometimes they are trying to provoke you to violence, because this is the kind of world they grew up in. Sometimes with your Girl Friend it can get this bad, but not with your Fave Dancer.
Better actually if you can pull back earlier, before it really becomes necessary to "break up". That way, maybe at some later date things might have started to work again.
At least you were not married to her. And it least this did not somehow end up in a court room. Count your blessings.
SJG
Just want to let u know, my phone got a ton of calls and despite of not answering the whole lot, I finally caved-in and answered the call.
So, I'm gonna meet her tonight and she'll probably forget about what happened yesterday like it never happened.
Oh fuck, I'm soooo tired of this shit, I want out.
" I won't be able to reply to your comments right now because I'm tied up. "
That one sounds like much more fun.
Does she fuck you for free?
Have you quit your job and are you crashing at her place and playing X-box all day? (Note, feel free to substitute "Playstation" for "X-box")
Does she buy drugs for you?
Are you planning to start a career as a rapper?
If you can answer yes, keep doing what you're doing. Continue fucking other chicks, ideally using money she gives you to get your music career off the ground. Just consider the drama the shit you have to do to enjoy that lifestyle.
However, I'm going to assume you're paying her. The reason you pay a chick to fuck you is to reduce the drama. Tell her "no money for you unless you stop being a bitch...by the way, your friend is hot...how much does SHE charge for a BJ?" Then go fuck her friend. As Bugs Bunny would say "that'll loin her". And Bugs wouldn't lie, would he?
Oh, and get a burn phone dude.
Looks like it's not going to happen, she's not going to let go in peace, as she has invested a huge amount of time hanging out with me. She can't get away with the habit of seeing me.
I just saw how needy/clingy/bitchy she was yesterday, and you well know how anyone would not want to be around a bitch. It's like I just want to just get out of there and leave.
@steve229
Yeah, it will ding my psyche a little bit, the hurt stings a lot right now and it will sting for a while I work out a plan and execute getting away, I just need to 'hang' with my other 'friends' it's just so hard trying to escape orbit this woman.
@rickdugan
She did not get it when my actions are telling her I can't do it any more. I don't walk with her when she walks around in the store, I don't do pretty much the stuff we did a while back.
I didn't show my enthusiastic face yesterday when we were talking. It's not fun anymore, but she is just there nagging me about what I do now as if she is saying "please change" but it's not, I'm tired and I just want to move on.
@san_jose_guy
I wish it was GFE, but the hustle she is playing now asking me to play along the hustle is just plain BS.
She was civil last night, did not cause any scene, no hysterics. She was gracious like Lois Lane with the bitch of Penguin, she was classy in a certain way. Wish I would see that all that time but she is not really sassy/classy.
@PhantomGeek
Yeah, pretty much that is going to happen. The numbers she pushed in my cellphone and the people she called up, man, that's too much.
@zipman68
Does she fuck you for free? No.
Does she buy drugs for you? No.
Are you planning to start a career as a rapper? No.
================
Hey, I've never been caught in this mess before. I'm just four/five years into strip clubbing. All my previous relationships are with regular women who doesn't do anything like this woman does.
I guess I have to play it differently this time because her reaction does not match a regular woman.
I'm afraid she might do something hostile if I disappear and not show up right away. So i'm slowly backing away. Not calling and not answering the phone the first time it buzzes.
I'll change number soon, I just wanna make sure she will leave me in peace.
I already said it: I have other women. She doesn't get it. She knows it's not fun anymore. There's no more fun stuff to do.
What a huge mess this is now.
You seem like a good guy. Treat girls with respect. Don't go all RickDugan and hope she'll have some drug crisis and become cheaper for you, but never forget that she isn't your girlfriend. You guys are connected by money flowing from you to her and her letting you fuck her for said money. At a certain point you have to change your phone number so you don't get calls from her other clients and just tell her "babe, I'm going to find another chick to fuck...buh-bye".
If I've misinterpreted and she really is a girlfriend, all I can say is I hope it gets better. But I still think you have to disengage.
Good luck bro!
This strategy didn't work too well on one dancer. She started automatically giving me bj's so I never said too much. It took a whole year plus lots of sex to get her tired of me.
An earlier dancer we never got that far and I just had to tell her goodbye one night, I'm moving out of state. She cried. Told me she was in love with me. That wasn't the reaction I expected.
one favorite I broke things off with never got my phone number. I called her and she always answered. I forgot why but eventually got tired of her and never called or saw her again. She wasn't putting out like I expected so that alone would have been a reason to break things off. I just forgot all about her for months. I never even tried to call her.
Anyway I'm guessing you are in late 20's early 30's (disposable income age). Sheltered because you seem fascinated by how it's possible for a girl behaving badly can really behave so badly, being drawn in by who you think she should be vs who you are finding out she really is, but still unwilling to let go of some really naive beliefs. Super fascinating actually (and yes some if us might say you're acting like a teenage girl, but whatever)
I hope she's never been to your home or your place of business. Last thing you need is her hanging out, waiting for you.
But no one breaks up with their favorite dancer or has their favorite dancer calling them on the phone all the time.
SJG
I keep showing up to the motel room whenever she texts me. I was there a while ago and there were people in there, another stripper and her BF, just checking the room. Then we went out, she hustled me again for food and some small stuff. I tried teasing her so she would get playful but her mood was different, she didn't like me tonight because she thought I would go to the other woman if she let me go early. So she held me for some hours until it was late.
"Have you talked to any of her co-workers, tried to get a feel for just how damaged this girl is?"
No, I have no idea how damaged she is, I can't tell/write everything here because the stripper lifestyle is not something to be talked about in public.
She got pissed and was mad, but she instantly changed her mood to the normal hustle.
"And maybe get some ideas on how to get away from her without her going all Glenn Close/Fatal Attraction on you?"
This is what she texted me...
"I'm not interested in the second best I deserve better than that. You have 3 other GFs I'm not gonna sit at home while u go out and cheat on me."
So... this thing is not over. It should be over, but it is not.
Been there, done that myself, a woman keeping me on hold and making me jump through hoops and getting me into crazy scenes. Can't do it.
The cell phone is at the core of it. Women live by it, making guys jump for them.
Either get her alone, get the cell phone away from her, and then proceed. Or just stop taking her calls.
SJG
When she sees you, it is either just you and she, or it is not. I think what she wants is for you to lay claim to her.
And yes PhantomGeek, women like to aggressively physically acted upon sometimes. For the first time with a new guy, it can be really important for them.
Just don't let her draw you into her peer circle. Don't let her try to make you jump through hoops with these nimrods.
R. Don Steele is too conservative of a writer for me, but some of his ideas are still correct.
Only about 1 in 10 or 1 in 20 young women will want a relationship with an older man. If you are older than she, then you are never her boyfriend. It works completely differently.
You can tell if you are dealing with such a woman if she is "outlandishly dressed", he explains that he means avant-garde instead of trendy. If she is trendy then she is conformist and will like her same age shit head boyfriend.
Anyway, most important thing is not to let her draw you into her social realm. If you want her, take her into yours and then make it happen with her. Otherwise, just stand by and ignore what is going on.
http://www.amazon.com/How-Date-Young-Wom…
SJG
In your little world, perhaps, but I've never met a woman who wanted that sort of aggression pushed onto them. I agree with Ime, SJG, you do sound like a delusional rapist.
Last night there were two strippers in there, stripper B was with a BF, stripper A was her.
And it seems that about five to eight strippers in the club now know me by association, which is BAD.
Why BAD??? Because I got a text the other day from this lady saying she needs money, and she will take care of the rest, just that I make it a total secret, no one will know about it except us. My tinfoil hat was telling me that was a plant or an entrapment by my fave dancer. So I replied let's just talk in-person and see where it goes.
"Just don't let her draw you into her peer circle. Don't let her try to make you jump through hoops with these nimrods."
I guess, I'm a little into this lifestyle where I don't wanna be in.
I'm just perfect where I was at six months ago, I need to go back there.
She is bombing my cellphone right now. No telling what she will do, I have to answer it in a few minutes.
Yes, I think I'm her subservient idiot. That's why I'm trying to nicely end it.
Get a new cell. Get a new number. Get a new favorite club. GET YOUR LIFE BACK!
True dat. Just say to her "girl, don't go away mad...just go away."
I was actually sympathetic until you started talking about how she's harping on you. She's gonna kill you one of these days. Drop her.
https://www.tuscl.net/postread.php?PID=3…
( we need to get it so that Articles bump just like Discussions do )
That lots of dances know you should not be a problem. Don't worry about it.
But about this one fave, decide if you want her for a girl friend, at least a short term girl friend. If so, get her someplace alone, get the cell phone away from her, and treat her like a civilian. Spend time, be nice, and bed her. This seems to be what she wants.
But in any event, do not let her summon you to ambiguous situations. If you hang out, it is to be just you and she, and no one else. Do not become one of her peers, because that is how she ties you up in knots and it is also how she diminishes you in her own eyes.
SJG
Read this if you want some idea of how women think:
http://books.simonandschuster.com/My-Sec…
I'm talking here about treating women like civilians. Usually this means never trying to verbally negotiate them into sex acts. No words necessary, except to charm her, court her, and maybe sometimes to distract her a bit.
Adult women do often consent to being cornered, backed up against walls, picked up and carried off to bed, being tackled onto beds and floors, and to being wrestled with and pinned down.
About the only way I can see one as not being fully aware of this is if they only deal in P4P situations and expect the girl to be the one who makes it happen.
SJG
And people, unfortunately like Alabegonz, let her. They don't stand up for themselves. They don't walk away. They let her ride roughshod all over them and then tell her "Thank you, ma'am, Can I have another?"
And, SJG, you ever stop to think that these adult women, whether civilian or not, consent to that rough treatment because they're afraid that if they don't, you'll start beating the shit out of them?
Did I miss the part where Alabegonz used the "L-word"?
See how that works? :)
You are completely off base. Assertive treatment doesn't have to be rough and it doesn't need to have a single trace of real coercion. Women like it when a guy is not afraid to be assertive with them.
@Alabegonz
Maybe this girl will always be impossible to deal with. But if you start by defining how you want it to go, then there is still a chance. If you want her, spend time alone with her, without cell phone use, and then bed her.
If you don't she will likely assume that it is because on of the other stripper you know has won out. Or she will assume that it is because you are a Zen monk and have decided on celibacy. The reason celibacy was originally invented was to take social power away from women. She will know this.
SJG