discussion comment
12 years ago
You know what is also disgusting? Drinking! And drugs! Drugs are bad. Jest get lots of BBBJCIMNQNSQWERTYUIOP from strippers you really respect. Make sure you get xxxtra QWERTYUIOP when ya get them BBBJs!
discussion comment
12 years ago
Alas, I lied. I have been called out by an anonymous party and must tell the truth... You see, my wife never kicked me out. She is TOTALLY cool with me going to the club every day and spending $1K each time. I apologize for misleading y'all. Guess I'll just have to keep on keepin' on now that you folks know the truth.
discussion comment
12 years ago
C'mon Papi... Relax... Smoke some reefer... Fuck a stripper... Allow the universal wavefunction to evolve around you... Imagine that groovy universe where Everett's son is a rock star... Imagine strippers stripping to songs by Everett's son... Feel better now?
And txtittydude - I'm sure you are correct. We are all right about some things. We are all wrong about some things. Who is to know what is true and what is false? Can I be sure you are correct?
discussion comment
12 years ago
Touché Dougsta!
discussion comment
12 years ago
But pablo, am I trying to engage ol' Drac in really a flame war? There are multiple ways of looking at this...
1. I'm suggesting Drac man is a hypocritical drug weed smoker who tells others not to drink, smoke, or do drugs.
OR
2. He is a super cool trickster who plays wit' folks all while doin' groovy rap reggae. But he jes' lost his way a lil bit... All the dude needs to do is relax on the enemies list and he will revert to Snoop Drac.
Do any o' y'all know which I intended? This is like Schrodinger's flame...a superposition of insult and complement. But our observation will cause the collapse of the wave function. Will Drac be upset and flame back? Will he graciously accept a complement and tear down his enemies list and join us in a chorus of kumbaya while strippers dance? Perhaps he will do the former in one universe and the latter in another universe. By discouraging this interaction, Pablo, you could be inhibiting the birth of a universe! You know what happens when the wave function collapses in the many worlds interpretation? Total number of strippers in the universe doubles. Pretty fucking cool, n'est-ce pas?
But is the many worlds interpretation correct? Perhaps there is but a finite number of strippers in the universe. Nay -- I say nay -- there are many universes! I bet there is even a universe whe Hugh Everett's son is a ROCK STAR. How cool would that be?
discussion comment
12 years ago
That is kind of endearing. I'm heart warmed!
discussion comment
12 years ago
E'ry day mon, e'ry day. At least $1K per visit. Since me wife kicked me out it is e'ry day at da club!
discussion comment
12 years ago
I am so gettin' a PM from Snoop Nixon now...
Wouldn't it be cool if we referred to him as "Snoop Nixon" from now on? I bet that would be cool...
discussion comment
12 years ago
Think about it my brothahs. He is always tellin' folks not to drink or smoke. That's 'cos he wants more for himself, or as a really stoned Drac-mon would say, "more Ganga for mesef, mon!" He has an enemies list in CODE man. That means he is either Nixon or really stoned man. And there is no way he is Nixon, man, 'cos Nixon is dead man. Or is he? I bet Alucard is actually A REALLY STONED RAP-REGGAE SINGIN' RICHARD MILHOUS "SNOOP" NIXON, back from the dead...
I bet Snoop Nixon bogarts the jay when he is in the circle too, man. That is why he is paranoid and has that super duper secret enemies lis in unbreakable code man. Dudes, this explains EVERYTHING!!!!
discussion comment
12 years ago
No way dude... Alucard actually looks like this:
http://imacoldstoner.tumblr.com/post/30807052626
The whole D.A.R.E. thing is an act. Dude sparks up a big spliff when he gets home, opens up his computer, plays the "Alucard" character, and LARFS his mothahfucking ass off. Behind the scenes he be sayin' "Legalize it mon, and don't criticize it..."
discussion comment
12 years ago
Yeah mohead, it was pretty funny. Like I said...no blueprint. But I'm sure there are readers coming up with alternatives.
I can see it now. Crazy ass perv goes "Hmmm... Velcro glove not a groovy way to get off...maybe I could try putting a ziplock baggie full of tapioca over my dick. That's the ticket. Plus it'll look like I made a huge mess when I came. That would be cool." O' course I wouldn't do that unless I got all high. Then all bets are off. Jes' sayin'
Trust me. There is some perv somewhere doing that shit.
discussion comment
12 years ago
@juice -- I knew it had to be you!! I'm looking forward to hearing about your next adventure with lube in a tube. Please make sure the story is extra weird. I knows ya can do dat...I knows ya can!
@mmdv -- true dat. Tho' this invention largely seems to have the purpose of creepin' strippers out. I'm sure us pervs can come (or cum) up with other ways o' doin' that.
@drac-dude -- stupid is in the eye of the beholder, n'est-ce pas? As a way of gettin' off, the velcro glove was pretty stupid. I'll grant you that. But perhaps...just perhaps...it could repurposed. I mean really -- it seems like a great way to creep strippers out. If ya wanted ta do dat shizzle. Exactly how do you creep you stripper when you want to? I suppose you could talk to them incessantly about avoiding drugs and al-key-haul...but that might be over the top.
Peace my bros! Perv on, perv on...
discussion comment
12 years ago
P.S. do you ol' pervs think it would have bothered the stripper less if the dude had been all high and eatin' fried chicken? Do y'all think the dude WAS all high when he came up with the dick in a glove idea?
discussion comment
12 years ago
Testify jack... Keep doin' the sex and drugs!
I, alas, cut my hair many years ago. Now I'm just a boring lookin' middle aged dude. And the rock 'n roll... Not so much. Mostly classical. But the sex... Ain't gonna give up 'til they plant me in the ground. If ya' gotta live for something let it be for sex with hot ass stripper chicks.
discussion comment
12 years ago
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Papi_ChuloMiami, FL (or the nearest big-booty club)
Fuck yeah Stax... You da shizzle.
discussion comment
12 years ago
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Papi_ChuloMiami, FL (or the nearest big-booty club)
C'mon Stax... Cut da ol' Drac-man some slack. Remember, he has been tagging along on our "Justice League: Strip Club Unit" meetings and he thinks EVERBODY has superpowers. You see, he thinks you have telepathy and can read his mind when he says "I have only been with one dancer who was married" he thought you got his telepathic signal saying "by been with I mean we JUST played monopoly ... The Ferengi version of the game o' course 'cos that's what the cool kids like me play..."
So Drac my man, you see that Stax just read yo' words, not yo' mind. He didn't mean no harm, so peace out and relax bro...
Shit... I feel like mothahfucking Ghandi here. Bringin' peace to Alucard and Stax. Before ya know it I'll bring peace to ol' Alucard and tha Dougsta. I once made Jesus kiss and make up with Lucifer at a party. So I'm sure I can bring peace to Dougsta and Shma-la-shmard. Well, actually I dressed up as Jesus at a party back at my uni days and met a hot chick dressed with devil horns. Made out for a while but it end when I did the miracle of converting everclear and Kool-aid to vomit in the bushes. One of Jesus' less well known miracles from his rebellious teen years. Cool days, cool days...
discussion comment
12 years ago
C'mon dudes. We all got ace financial advice from tittyfan. Surely you can afford tree fiddy...thousand! Maybe another $100K on drugs, fireworks, and fried chicken. That is the way to live dawgs... All stoned as shizzle lightin' bottle rockets while a stripper sucks your dick. 24/7 playas. FUCK YEAH!!!
On a side note, I wonder how long you could live on nothin' but weed, fried chicken, and blow jobs. Prolly need some liquids...maybe something healthy...yeah...Mountain Dew. But Diet Dew my dawgs. Wouldn't want to get all crazy and shit.
discussion comment
12 years ago
And Dougsta my man... You win!!!
I'm still bit amazed. He is taking this discussion board way too seriously. Let's not be haters. We got too much to live for. I mean we got ace financial advice from ol' tittyfan (isn't that right) and the country avoided the fiscal cliff...as I knew they would...so we should have TONS o money to blow on travel, strippers, hookers, fireworks, booze, drugs, and the Colonel's xxxtra kris-pay. I know ol' A-man can do 5 o' the 7 things I list. No h8 when you doin' all dat fun shizzle.
Here...I'll be offer an olive branch. Ad (I'm using code to protect the innocent) can join my "Justice League: Strip Club Unit". I'll even try to convince Power Girl to let him tit fuck her. Please Ad...come back to us!!!
discussion comment
12 years ago
Wow, just wow!
I mean...I mean... I go away for a little while to enjoy family time over the holidays... No strippers, no hos, just family... And I come back to find I'm on A******'s shit list?
And ONLY number 30??? I have to step up my game. Maybe I could tell a story 'bout gettin' all high on acid and no doz and hot dogs and lettin' off bottle rockets in the VIP room while a stripper sucked my dick. I bet that could move me up to 25. Maybe 20 if it actually happened...
Seriously though, maybe somebody who gets along with ol' A-man should PM him and help to smooth over his h8. We just jokin' wit' him, right? This behavior of resenting 31 other commenters to the point of listing them...in code! Not sure what the purpose is. I'm worried 'bout the guy.
discussion comment
12 years ago
Jack my man, the mosquito never asks you to slap harder either.
discussion comment
12 years ago
Juice my man... You forgot the part about keepin' yo fingahs greasy wit' KFC. Don't get better den slappin' a ho wit' one hand while she suckin' yo' dick while yo eatin' a drumstick o' da Colonel's xxxtra Krispy wit' da otha hand. Amirite or amirite?
Seriously though, we all know you're actually a mon o' sublime beauty my man... You wouldn't really slap a woman around. You might, however, eat some KFC while she is sucking you dick.
discussion comment
12 years ago
BTW, Teatotaling WK man would not make a cool Avengers character. Maybe take it up a notch and you can get Justice League membership tho'
Pervo-oilman could hang with Tony Stark tho'. I bet Iron man and Pervo-oilman would be fast friends.
And c'mon 3leggeddude... Self-important nutjobs? We ain't gonna invite you to our "Justice League: Strip Club Unit" orbiting space facility. Pervo-oilman and Juiceman are there. As is Dougsta, who is Sarcastiman. We let Alucard in, but he is like the Aquaman of our Justice League. Join us dude, you already HAVE a superhero name!!
Oh, and Shadowcat is like our Yoda. He don't need no "man" at the end o' his name, man... 'Cos the nom de superhero "Shadowcat" be cool enuf already...
BTW, Martian Manhunter sometimes visits... He brings Powergirl and Hawkgirl 'cos they likes to get all naked and party. Man, Powergirl has tits... She should really be "DDD-girl". Russian wit Powergirl be truly super. And a BBBJCIMWS from Hawkgirl is incredible. FUCK YEAH!!!
(and I should add that I can write proper English, I simple choose not to do so under specific conditions...'cos I'm "self-important-man" -- kinda like Batman 'cos Batman is a genius ya know)
discussion comment
12 years ago
I for one am primarilly interested when I read something that makes me laugh. Some good info gets passed, but I largely go by reviews when I travel (which is largely when I club). The 2AMer reports could be useful, but you can't really see trends. Besides, most people with common sense can figure out when the neighborhood they are in is bad news.
I will add that sometimes the really earnest posts are actually a laugh. For example, I can't tell if ol' Drac is playing a character (Teatotaling WK man) or 100% serious. No insult intended, since I like his respectful discussion of girls better than the full on "they's all lyin' theivin' whores" trope, though even that level of WKism can be a bit much.
Personally, I subscribe to a "people are people, some good - some not so good" philosophy. I've met a few strippers who, if they were portraying themselves reasonably accurately, I might befriend. Mostly college girls making extra money. Other seem nice enough. Then there are the genuine lying, thieving whores. Sometimes difficult to differentiate, so always be a bit guarded. Plus, chemical dependencies and bad life decisions can push good people into acting badly. Not that I'm anti-alcohol (or anti-420, though I don't smoke now). Many people drink (etc) in moderation, enjoy themselves, and are othwise productive.
But, as I said, erudite conversation is not why I visit. Bring on the CRAY-ZEE!!
Juice, keep on juicin'!! I wanna hear the GOSPEL O' DA JUICEMAN. I want you to claim the Archangel Jibril appeared to you in a strip club wit a bucket o' KFC (xxxtra crispy, o' course) while you were face fucking a hot stripper and told you Mohammed got it all wrong in that dumb ass cave. Fuck man, go east and give us the JUICEMAN GITA!!
Dougsta, my man, keep on keepin' on. Let everybody know what for. Troll on this message! Keep givin' DA SHIZZLE!!
An DRAC-dude. Keep up the groove-eee WK stories and Dougsta persecution complex. No AL-KEY-HAUL, no Ganga, just whores, 24/7! An' be tellin' us all da time how amateurish reviews shouldn't get folks free memberships. Perhaps you could PM the culprits and take them under you wing for mentoring. Could help review quality, n'est-ce pas?
And farmerart, keep tellin' groovy stories from up north. If your playing a part, it is the coolest part ever. If your even 50% truthful, YOU ARE THE COOLEST DUDE EVER. Like a superhero -- Pervo-oilman
discussion comment
12 years ago
No danger of being to PC in the discussion board. Hell, we could get Juice to tell us how he got that AA chick to suck him off for fried chicken! Tho' I know my man Juice ain't a racist -- he knows all bitches be willin' to suck him off for a bucket o' the Colonel's xxxtra crispy. White, black, Latina, Native American, Maori, whatevah...
discussion comment
12 years ago
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ilbbaicnlKeep it in my pants when I do OTC. If I were a stripper it would stand for I like big bucks and I can not lie.
To be fair, girls do enemas before typical porno ATM scenes. Not sure whether that eliminates the fecal smell/taste, but I suspect the man's dick is basically covered in lube, not Santorum. I've never done ATM personally and don't have much desire, but certainly wouldn't put my cock in a Santorum covered condom into some chicks mouth. Sort of over the line...
I suspect (well, hope) men clean pretty well before salad tossin'. Never been tempted to DATO with a stripper myself (though I do dig seeing a hot girl willing to bend over, spread cheeks, and give a nice asshole view.
The Max Hardcore stuff is just disgusting. Don't know the appeal.