Comments by chitownlawyer (page 10)

Once, as a young lawyer, I gave in to carnal desires and screwed a fat girl that a friend set me up with at a wedding reception. The sex was reasonably good, and actually did offer some fleshy (and I do mean "fleshy") pleasures that I hadn't before encountered. The problem was that I couldn't get rid of her afterward...including the Friday evening I went home after work to find her waiting for me in the hallway of my apartment building--and she lived 150 miles away from me. OK, so I did her again for old times' sake, but then I _had_ to lay the law down to her.

"If you go ahead, get tested right away" Actually, I think the most sensitive HIV tests don't pick up anything for a couple of weeks. However, they are not very accurate...the most accurate tests require a wait of six months, to allow the virus time to reproduce in histologically significant numbers. That's a lot of time lying awake at night misconstruing every symptom you might have (and adopting a very liberal construction of what might be a "symptom.") Believe me, I know.

I realize that you might read the guidelines in the last paragraph and think, "If I follow those, I'll never get any OTC action." To which I say, "Balderdash!" I have followed them faithfully, and I have never gotten "stung", and have had plenty of OTC experiences. You just have to balance your desire to bust a nut with your desire to keep a clean police record.

"First I've ever heard about lawyers celebrating bar admision anniversaries." I know. Like 9/11, it is an occasion that is "commemorated" or "marked", rather than "celebrated." I happen to have a very retentive memory, so I happen to know the exact date I was sworn in. I think most lawyers would have to look at their admission certificates to remember it. Sorry, BookGuy, but I'd rather be 20 years into the profession than just starting out in it--or, like you, just starting to start out in it. "What is it exactly that is done to you if you're a lawyer and you're also a monger or hobbyist. Is there some kind of professional reprisal?" I guess we'll find out. When it comes to bar discipline, all screwing is not equal. Guys who screw their own clients in lieu of fees generally get disbarred. In our town, there is a lawyer who fell in love with her client's future ex-husband (in other words, the party on the other side of the divorce case...the other lawyer's client.) They started screwing after the case had been tried, but before all the paperwork/technicalities had been resolved. She was let off with a reprimand. The Supreme Court found "mitigating circumstances" in the fact that she did, after all, marry the guy. I suspect that our hero in the solicitation case will get a reprimand, rather than any time off. I can almost guarantee he won't be disbarred, and if he got 30 days off, I'd be shocked. As salacious as this particular misdemeanor is, it is still just a misdemeanor. He isn't married, so he doesn't have those particular issues to deal with. His father was a county judge in our area, then a judge on the appellate court, and I think this guy had some political aspirations. The loss of those possibilities is probably his biggest sanction. A lawyer in our state was disbarred a couple of months ago for helping his non-lawyer wife run a whorehouse in one of the American colonies, I think the Mariana Islands, and for profiting from same (in other words, for being a pimp.) Several years back, a young female lawyer at a very prestigious (and well-paying) Chicago firm got 6 months off for turning tricks in downtown Chicago. Her shrink and the disciplinary commission's shrink both agreed that she was a highly-achieving woman who had always "played by the rules", and she played the whore to satisfy her emotional need to be on the wrong side of the rules for a change. BookGuy, the initials "OTC" are not unknown to me. The rules for lawyers are no different than for non-lawyers. Never suggest any act. If a woman should suggest an act, never link same to payment of money. In all your OTC discussions (or discussions in anticipation of OTC), never say anything that you wouldn't want to have played back to a jury. If a woman is so indiscreet as to suggest any particular act in exchange for an amount of money, walk away from the deal. The stakes are too high, and a pro will know what to say and not to say. Anyone else is either a cop, or too stupid for you to risk messing with.

Shadow, since you asked, 19.5 years if you are white, 14.4 if you are black. Be guided appropriately....

Bones, I am too concerned about my health care encounters showing up in the future to turn the charges over to my health insurer...or even to use my real name. In fact, the doctor I go to for my usual screenings (an internist who specializes in STDs) encourages me not to use my real name, and he can dispense any drug I may need (which has been none, so far), from his office, so using my real name to fill a prescription is not an issue. I'm not sure why I'm so paranoid. I have all the life insurance I need, and I have health insurance in place. I guess that I should take advantage of all opportunities for discretion as may present themselves. I guess I just consider the out-of-pocket costs of blood screens and related testing costs to be part of the price I pay for the life that I have chosen via this hobby.

In the words of Sophie Tucker, "Nobody loves a fat girl, but oh, how a fat girl can love." My brother refers to them as "waterbeds without frames." Although I admire his resourcefulness (you will have a lot more women to fuck in our society if you fuck the size 12s rather than the size 2s), I find myself unable to share in it.

I am embarassed to say that this situation has happened to me twice, and on each occasion I just went along with (her) flow. I was paranoid afterward until I could get tested for the usual panoply of STDs (all parameters came back negative each time. This should caution me, but I'm afraid it just emboldens me). A couple of weeks ago, a dancer asked me, "What are your limits?" I told her that I had none, and ended up with a BBBJ. I'm afraid that my only limit is the refusal of the dancer to go past a certain point. When the dancer has no such restraint, then the whole thing just becomes a trip down the rabbit hole. I admit it--I'm a slut. I also get tested for stds, from a congenial and sympathetic doctor, every six months.

I can definitely see that dancers are harder up for money than they have been in the past. When I get dances from girls who are new to me, I am getting the OTC pitch probably 50% of the time. Friday, a dancer who, six months ago, took the pitch of, "I know what I am worth...I charge $1,000 to see a customer outside the club, but I'll see you for $750", now quoted me $500.00

I consider an ATF to be a dancer that I would choose to spend time with fully clothed, in a fully lit room, with no gangsta rap playing in the background. In other words, a dancer I would want for a girlfriend in "real life."

A dancer in East St. Louis who ventured to Houston to dance claims that the current crack-down on Treasures was the result of a judge picking up a dancer and taking her home...the next day, the dancer and a couple of guys took their pick of His Honor's material possessions. According to the story, the judge got pissed (rather understandably), and gave the signal to LE to get Treasures. That could happen in my little county seat town in the rural Midwest; not sure that it could really happen in a big city like Houston. But that's the story I heard.

This is my weakness, and there does seem to be a connection to the equipment downstairs.

On two occasions I have seen the same dancer at our local courthouse. Based on the area in the courthouse in which she was standing, I would guess she was there for something having to do with a juvenile case (I know she has a teenaged son). She is not at ATF, and I don't think that she recognized me outside of our usual context. I didn't push things.

I have had dancers ask me for professional advice, and for representation in criminal cases (on two occasions). Fortunately, my area of practice is fairly narrow, and has nothing to do with the areas of legal help that strippers need. Strippers have approached me concerning the following areas: Personal injury Traffic Domestic relations: divorce, and determining the paternity of illegimate children Criminal law (burglary and theft) Landlord/tenant. I have begged off of all the above, as I don't practice in any of these areas. I may have to start adopting the practice of Lotsoffun, as it may be easier that way. But I doubt that I will be able to shake my professional identity at clubs I regularly visit. Lawyers who frequent high extras clubs (I don't know about these places myself, but have heard about them from the older boys...) would have to be careful about getting involved with dancers professionally, as bad things can happen professionally to lawyers who have sex with clients. The Supreme Court in my state seems to frown on the practice.

FONDL: Here's the "Belief-O-Matic" URL: http://www.beliefnet.com/story/76/story_7665_1.html.

When I took the "Belief-O-Matic" test, I came out as an "Orthodox Quaker." I had no idea that there was such a thing as an "orthodox" Quaker, because I didn't know that there was any alternative (apparently there are also "liberal" Quakers, who are more like religious libertarians..sort of like Unitarians). Anyway...pass the oatmeal. "There is nothing better for Thee than me."

What would be _really_ interesting is if members of this board would go to Beliefnet.com and take the "Belief-O-Matic" test of congruity with various world religions and denominations thereof. Same concept as the above, except concerning God (or "Non-God", depending on how you answer the questions), rather than the future President.

I had one of the best experiences of my strip club life in a private booth at Oasis Goodtime Emporium--and also one of the worst. My suggestion: forget about the dancers, and focus on the shot girls. The problem with Oasis is that it costs so much to get back into the private areas that you are really putting a lot on one roll of the dice. However, the boxcars I got the first time more than made up for snake-eyes on the second roll. It's only money, right?

I went to a bikini club in Tampa that was across the street from Mons. Some of those girls were pretty inventive in terms of what they could show and do while wearing a bikini. It certainly qualified as "making a virtue out of necessity."

DandyDan: There's a minor conspiracy theory that says that, in dividing the US into "red" and "blue", the media made the Republicans red to mirror the custom in military battle exercises that the opponent is always "red", and the people staging the exercise are the "blue" force. Thus, the media picked red for the Republicans/conservatives, because to the media, those are the enemy. I question this theory, however, on the basis that, if the media truly are so liberal, why would they follow military usages as a pattern for their own analysis?

I must really be conservative, because Obama, my junior Senator, didn't even come up on my results.

Here are my top 5: Ron Paul John McCain Sam Brownback Tom Tancredo Rudy Guiliani My opposition to capital punishment and to a Constitutional amendment banning gay marriage put me out of the running with a lot of Republicans I otherwise agree with--although I oppose a FEDERAL Constitutional amendment banning gay marriage for reasons of Federalism, not necessarily for reasons concerning social policy. When I went back and changed my responses to favor capital punishment and to favor an anti- gay marriage amendment (the more "orthodox" Republican positions), I got: McCain Hunter Thompson Paul Tancredo.

I was at Baby DOlls at the end of July...apparently just before LE lowered the boom. I went there two consecutive nights, for the first time ever, and within a half an hour I had waitresses taking me over to dancers who were available for, in essence, "whatever", in the Champagne rooms. Such is not, as I understand, the prevailing atmosphere for the foreseeable future. BDD (which is also a quarter mile from the Men's Club of Dallas) is in sort of a gritty industrial area. It doesn't strike me as the safest place in the world. However, there is a Holiday INn Express about 75 yards from BDD (the location of which was pointed out to me by two dancers), and I would think one could stay there and safely walk to BDD. The area is only about ten minutes from Love Field.

I have noticed more extras from dancers, but it is always hard for me to separate that out from what you get just from being a regular. In other words, are the girls getting sluttier overall, or is it just that they are more comfortable with me, so I get offered more?

This is a timely topic for me, since I partook for the first time in a club about a month ago. This occurred with a dancer who has been my "principal" dancer at this particular club for about a year and a half. During that time, her main activity has been to rub The Associate outside my closed pants. There hasn't been any real "extra" activity, although sometimes she lets me finger her. However, about a month ago, we just got very carried away during an extended session (I had bought her time by the 1/2 hour, rather than by the song), and I pulled aside her thong and started to eat her out. (The post above is correct...it does involve some uncomfortable contortion). SHe really got into it, or seemed to (who can tell with strippers), and was grabbing my hair, moaning, and humping against my face. Until reading this thread, I never even thought about the possibility of catching something from her, nor am I worried about it now. I figure that if it took 1 1/2 years for me to get that far, she probably isn't opening the restaurant for everyone. On the other hand, I'm not as aggressive as some men are, and it may that one can suck on that cooch simply by being a little more forward than I am inclined to be. I have done OTC with a couple of strippers, and have eaten them out with no concern--and, so far, no resulting problems.