Am I Too Big? Yes.

Asking closed end questions like "Am I too big?", "Am I too small?" and the like leaves you with no choice but to let them have it. Obviously, not the best approach especially that customers' preferences are subjective and there is nothing much they can do change it. A smart dancer might have a chance to talk a customer into trying something different thought.

I wonder if taking the 5th would work? ;)

This question is a new way of exploiting guilt as a reason for a dance. Most women know that most men will avoid insulting women they have just met. Gentleman don't do that. So, if he has manners he will buy a dance rather than hurt my feelings. I don't buy and feelings do get hurt. So pay for the dancer and fantasy you want.

One simply needs to go to Walmart to find all the large women they can handle. The amazing thing about some of these women is 1. they actually THINK they are attractive 2. they often have large egos to go along with the large size

On the issue of not just weight, but overall looks, I am constantly amazed how many women below 6 on the looks scale will actually get into exotic dancing.

Much of this derives I believe from the Oprah-like (same on THE VIEW) syndrome which sees all women as "beautiful" - yet of course God help any man should he have a bald spot and isn't making at least 500k a year - he's a LOSER baby

I have to say some of these large women are attractive except I don't like large--breasts aren't drooping, skin is smooth, eyes clear, plenty of curves, good teeth, etc. Some are total dogs. Either way their self esteem generally seems to be thru the roof and I can only imagine it is due to males that are crazy about large for some reason.

Walmart is an excellent place to see large women. I just don't see the appeal and they're abundant. It is not like there is some shortage of big women. And, generally the guys going for that don't seem to care about other aspects of looks so really any large female should do just fine.

Jablake, good point, "I am taking the 5th" should be my new reply to "Yes or No questions.

David, you know the saying along the lines of "all women are beautiful given the right amount of alcohol" and the comeback that goes like this: " and all men are handsome given the right amount of money". This centuries-old wisdom drives me nuts and the only thing I CAN do is to drink more and refuse dances - it'll teach'em! :)

"It is not like there is some shortage of big women"

Exactly, and even though some guys get turned-on by big women, who needs to go to clubs for that? Most guys in clubs want something a bit out of the ordinary, and while these heavy girls may be nice people and good citizens- most shouldn't be working in exotic dancing in the first place

It seems like these big women in the club are generally nicer even when they're getting the attention and money, which never ceases to amaze me. The hot shrimps don't have the nice personalty as often. When one does, I think what the hell is wrong with you--don't you understand you're smoking hot? I'd love a strip club filled with hot shrimps who have the personalties of the big friendly women----of course, I'd still need a low pricing.

David, haha, I am with you there! I am very discriminative when it comes to who I will buy dances from. They really have to sell me on... I do not even know what it is half the time... things just have to click and the looks is just the first step in the selection process.

Ahem,

Appears some people aren't reading the manifesto which clearly states that looks are irrelevant! That's right behind money is god and dancers never tell the truth.

Different folks like different strokes (pun was intended :) Looks are important for me, sorry to disappoint some.

Never ceases to amaze me, the capacity for denial which obesity seems to instill in human females. That, and the obsession with facial make-up to the exclusion of all other forms of self-care directed at making oneself attractive to others ...

Well Book Guy,

I think you're over simplifying a little. I've met hot young girls that want to become BIG mommies because they see men that they like such as rappers who love the BIG mommies. So if you're a young woman and you see men perfectly happy with lard butts, then why not be a lard butt since it is usually easier to get blubber than to stay fit.

It is like the woman who gets fake tits and then learns that many men prefer natural small or medium to fake of any kind. I meet so many women that think fake tits are the greatest. A hell of a turn off to me. I'd almost rather have a lard butt with a ton of tats. I'm probably in the minority, but I don't like the fake tits even the well done ones.

Oh, normally the young women look much hotter without the makeup, imo. Again, I believe that is a minority opinion. I see these adorable young women come in off the street looking cute or hot and then they cover their natural beauty and glow of youth. The doll look I think is what the goal is and I just don't care for it.

I don't think I'm being rude if I answer the question "am I too big?" with a yes since she was asking for it. However if I was being a bit nice, I might just say my type of girl is more fit than she is and she's not my type. A dancer doesn't necessarily have to be small in frame but fit and looking good. The farther she is from that, the less interested I will be in her. On the other extreme, I'm not into female body builders but that is an extreme I don't think I have to worry about seeing in strip clubs.

I don't pay money to go to strip clubs to see the everyday fat girl. Guys who like fat girls have it made because they are all over the place and don't even have to go to strip clubs.

I often find myself saying, "I'm waiting for someone else" or "I'm just not into it right now" or even "You're not my type." When and if the girl answers, "Well you should" something-something that basically means "Bad customer! Do as I say!" I can readily respond, "The reason I'm not interested in your company is that it is unpleasant." I'm happy to dole out bitchiness to the bitches, when they deserve it.

Did the same to a pair of Jehova's Witnesses that came to the door yesterday. "Hey, we're talking to people about what they think about death. What do you think happens after death?" the guy opened with. "Oh, that's easy. Jerks like you disappear and I'm left free of bigots and idiots to enjoy my time in paradise. Bye."

In the words of Sophie Tucker, "Nobody loves a fat girl, but oh, how a fat girl can love."

My brother refers to them as "waterbeds without frames." Although I admire his resourcefulness (you will have a lot more women to fuck in our society if you fuck the size 12s rather than the size 2s), I find myself unable to share in it.

I have heard some men opine, that overweight women have "drives" more so than traditionally more "attractive" women. They like having food in their mouth. They like having willie in their wonka. They like going at life, full on, full throttle, full stomach. Therefore, they are supposedly more voracious about any sexual act -- they "love" giving head, for example.

I have not found this to be the case.

To the contrary, I have found that when a fatter young woman smells even the slightest hint of interest from a man, she treats him much worse than the more attractive skinnier women might. In general, a fat girl gets very few chances to act like a princess, relative to a hot skinny young blonde girl. So, the fat girl milks it for all it's worth.

To me, that's the world-view difference between the overweight people of North America (male or female) and the less rotund. The larger ones "milk it for all it's worth" often; the fit ones think in terms of snippets and snatches of experience, rather than fulsome and thorough-going exhaustion of opportunity before moving on.

I guess I've just described the Fifth Deadly Sin, haven't I? ...

I've heard that theory, too, Book Guy, but I've never been tempted to find out whether there was any truth to it. I don't have many complaints about the appetites of hot women, but even if I did, an insatiable fugly is still about the last thing I'd want to be faced with.

I've always assumed it was true because they seem very available and very nice, but I've also never been tempted to find out what happens if you are interested. If you're interested, then perhaps act fairly disinterested but talk about the kind of woman who are interested e.g. independent, generous, not shallow, generous, intelligent, generous, adventurous, generous, . . . get the hint? ;) Make her the huntress and provider of sex and goods. I'm joking, but does seem like the man should be amply compensated for being with a plump female just as women are compensated for being with all manner of males.

Once, as a young lawyer, I gave in to carnal desires and screwed a fat girl that a friend set me up with at a wedding reception. The sex was reasonably good, and actually did offer some fleshy (and I do mean "fleshy") pleasures that I hadn't before encountered. The problem was that I couldn't get rid of her afterward...including the Friday evening I went home after work to find her waiting for me in the hallway of my apartment building--and she lived 150 miles away from me.

OK, so I did her again for old times' sake, but then I had to lay the law down to her.

Being the possessor of a significant gut (it's all muscle, really), I hate to criticize, but then as mentioned above I don't get onstage and ask for money, and I don't go to a strip club to see unatractive girls. That said, I'll at least try to be polite, within limits. I think I've told the "Ugliest Stripper of ALL Time" story a few times, so I'll do the quick version. Missing teeth, greasy hair, rolls of fat, outweighed me (and I'm 6' tall, she was maybe 5'5"). Ugly face. I was sitting at the stage, everyone else got up and left. In a momentary lapse of reason and a pang of sympathy I laid down a single dollar, and then was stupid enough to wait for her to come get it. She smelled too. I ended up leaving the club because she wouldn't leave me alone. While her ability to get naked onstage was a triumph of self confidence her assumption that she could collect money for it was the height of self delusion. Be polite, but don't be an enabler.

AN, your comment takes me back to several threads we've had about "sympathy dances." As I recall, the consensus whenever this is brought up is that the free market does a wonderful job of allocating resources to their best use, and sometimes this is done by the market pushing resources out of sub-optimal uses, and towards more nearly optimal uses. In other words, you don't help a dancer by giving her financial return that may keep her dancing, when she should be fulfilling her highest and best economic use as a cashier at Wal-Mart. But, like a lot of market principles, it is sometimes easier to do the thing that appears "compassionate" in the short run...thus, the dollar on the rail.

Chitown, you remember well. That was my conclusion. I will add the caveat that if I wish to stay in the club for a while with another dancer I will give a standard sympathy tip, so long as the other dancer moves on, seeing that I am occupied. The problem with this particular dancer was that once tipped no ammount of neglect could disuade her from hanging around.