Thinking of quitting

avatar for Careless_kevin4405
Careless_kevin4405
I think I'm gonna stop going to stripclubs all tougher.

I've been going to stripclubs for some time and let me say the novelty from the first few times has worn off. I used to get butterflies in my stomach and excited every time a girl came up to talk to me.

But now I feel sad and lonely. I feel like a fucking loser driving back home after my visit. And recently I went to my usual spot and got a dance from a girl (it was slow so only 5-7 dancers) but she was such a bitch. She was exhaling and complaining about how we should have stated mid song instead of waiting the 2 minutes. Then she ending the second song early. (I should have left in hindsight).

U guys are gonna clown me as u should but this was the finale straw for me. I realize that
1. This is an expensive habit
2. It's not conducive to a productive lifestyle
3. It's all fake bullshit (I knew this at some level but the recent even hit me hard)
4. The deep sorrow and regret I feel after tells me I'm an addict. This is a vice for me.

This whole site is for stripclubs and stripclub culture so if this post gets deleted, it makes sence and I'm not mad. But take what I said into thinking and see what my perspective is now.

If u read all this thank you. And I hope u guys have something of substance to say. I want to hear if u disagree or agree and why. Thanks

38 comments

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avatar for Careless_kevin4405
Careless_kevin4405
a year ago
Just to clarify about this girl. She was hot to me 7/10. And I was extremely horny when we were in the private room and I thought mistakenly "I'm already here, might as well" thinking she was gonna be sweet and erotic like the past experiences at that particular spot (not cafe Atlantis btw). Tldr at the blood was in my other head and I fucking kick myself for being a moron simp. Honestly idk why I treat these whores with respect when they blatantly spit on me.
avatar for Brahma2k
Brahma2k
a year ago
It is that dreaded word. Some will tell you saying/thinking that word proves you’re alive. In some historíes, speaking that word would see you arrested, maybe even executed.
That amazing yet possibly dreaded word is “why”. But is asking/wondering “why” always a good thing? Let’s look at one hypothesis. We will use regular visits to Strip Clubs.
Hypothesis Question: “Why” do I go to strip clubs?
Data to consider before answering “Why”:
-the girls are exclusively motivated by being paid for their time.
-their job is to get the biggest payment out of each and every customer
-this is mostly done via ‘hustle’(a savvy ruse).
-they very likely don’t care if you fall of the end of the earth, just pay them as much as possible before you fall.
-it is likely to cost quite a lot of money
-given the job and the industry, and the data points above, expectations should be hard set accordingly.
-given the industry, “decent!” — gasp — Society thinks patrons and the dancers are morally depraved. (You’re bad! Just bad!)
-working under the auspice of the points of data above: you now go to a SC to presumably sate visual, proximal, sexual needs (I.e. to see, be near, get sexual touching at [variable]).

Alright! So now we get to it: “why” do you go?
Best answer: never!! ask why. Deep social/mental chasms await if you do
Next best answer: why? Then realize the other bullet points, accept it, the last bullet point is why I go. It’s that simple.
Worst answer: Asking why, why, why Right after a SC visit major strikeout that has left you unfulfilled.
I don’t have a lot of experience but here’s my advice:
-angrily saying “those bitches don’t care!” Is comical. Yet Knowing that is very important., meaning knowing it is 100% the deal. If you can’t accept that, imho time to stop.
-yiu have a SC routine, it isn’t giving you the thrill anymore. What do you do? Maybe Time to alter the routine. Different places, Take slower time, observe more, be choosy, spend more wisely. Otherwise I’d suggest switching to free porn vids on the internet.

BOL



-


You’ve had a few less than stellar to outright sucky outings.
avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
a year ago
Everyone takes breaks. Some longer than others. Some permanently. If it's not fun anymore, then stop.
avatar for Hank Moody
Hank Moody
a year ago
If it’s not fun and/or costs more than you can’t afford, you are right not to go. If you feel awful after going, don’t go and expect a different and result. If it’s novelty you’re seeking, take a break and test it after a few weeks or months or longer. If it still doesn’t work, don’t go back. No shame in that.
avatar for gammanu95
gammanu95
a year ago
You're seeking validation by posting on a website for strip club customers. That's rock bottom. Is this LarryFisherman?
avatar for mark94
mark94
a year ago
I second what Ishmael said.
avatar for Mate27
Mate27
a year ago
Looking at your short history of discussions created, you’re not in the correct head space to be clubbing. A break is good for you considering the topics you’re dwelling on. Wait until you can focus on some of the quality aspects of other variables in your life, and when you’re secure in those (career and relationships), that’ll give you perspective on where this hobby fits in a normal
Productive life. Come back clubbing when you don’t need it, and you’ll enjoy it.
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
a year ago
I went twice this week. So I am thinking of quitting too. Until next week.
avatar for Tetradon
Tetradon
a year ago
@OP, most of us have some manner of love/hate relationship with strip clubs.
But we'll all agree on if you're having a shit time, or feeling like a loser on the drive home, don't go.
avatar for Dolfan
Dolfan
a year ago
It's not complicated, if it's not fun or leaves you feeling bad afterwords, stop doing it.

Don't ask a bunch of people who obviously like doing it what you should do.
avatar for docsavage
docsavage
a year ago
Most guys never go to strip clubs. When I was fifty, I had only been a couple times in my life with friends. What changed for me was that I no longer found women the same age as me sexually attractive. I'm an extreme introvert and never liked living with someone but was willing to do it at a younger age when an attractive young female was available and interested.

Once I decided I was only interested in younger women, strip clubs became the best option. I understand your complaints because I often feel the same way. I have just enough good experiences, though, to keep going. I have been cutting back on visits recently. It's getting a little boring and there has been a big decline in local strip clubs. Also, my wage increases are not keeping up with inflation. This is a problem now for almost everyone and almost everyone is having to cut back on spending in some areas.



avatar for Tetradon
Tetradon
a year ago
https://tuscl.net/article/58034

1. They'll say anything to separate you from your money, but it still might be worth it.
2. She might like you as a person, but she doesn’t love you. This is her way of paying the bills. You. Are. A. Customer.
97. Set a strip club budget for the MONTH, not the day or the week. This will keep you from spending too much on one day, but leave you room for one boffo trip.
101. If you think you have a problem with strip clubs, you have a problem. Don’t let the hobby consume your life. Set moral and financial boundaries.
106. There are months you will want to club your ass off, and others you will want to take a break. This is natural.
107. Once clubbing becomes your “default” activity as a certain time, it may be time to mix it up.
108. Strip clubbing shouldn’t be your top hobby. Exercise (every man who is physically able should lift heavy weights), read, play a sport. Be a monger, not a PL.
109. Strip clubbing is best when you’re already enjoying life.
110. Per the last item, strip clubbing when you’re depressed or need to escape is a great way to become addicted. It stops being fun when it feels compulsive.
avatar for drewcareypnw
drewcareypnw
a year ago
The man who knows himself is wise. You’ve figured out that it’s time to stop, and that is a good first step toward whatever comes next for you. Most people never get this far, so look on the bright side, you are ahead of the game.

As an added bonus, there is nothing stopping you from posting on tuscl even if you don’t go to clubs anymore. Many here don’t.

Have a better weekend!

avatar for DeclineToState
DeclineToState
a year ago
OP = troll
avatar for skibum609
skibum609
a year ago
Blow a load - quit strip clubbing. Get a hangover - quit drinking. Until the next time with both.
avatar for Careless_kevin4405
Careless_kevin4405
a year ago
Thanks for the mixed responses. I read every one till now. I realize many of the experiences are different. For me I had several back-to-back bad experiences in stripclubs mixed with my life right now, I wanted to vent. I decided taking a small break and trying a new spot might help. I will set a budget, I wont tolerate any bitch behavior, and I'll take my time. If again my experience is poor, I will give up on this hobby/vice and go about my life. Thanks guys
avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
a year ago
^ Don't like your own posts. You'll go blind.
avatar for funonthaside
funonthaside
a year ago
Strip clubs are best avoided when depressed or desperate. Confidence is critical when you go to clubs; otherwise you risk being subjected to wallet drain for any attention given to you.

One sign of addiction is regret. You've noticed the sign, so I recommend stopping cold turkey.
avatar for mjx01
mjx01
a year ago
what dolfan said
avatar for deboinair
deboinair
a year ago
You got to do what's best for you. If it ain't getting you hyped anymore then it's best to quit. I actually understand where you are coming from.

But for me in my mid 40s you're looked at as an ATM where you go to strip clubs or not. For me it's more then strippers. I like watching sports there then a sports bar.
I have a budget. I'm definitely got the spending under control.

I never feel like shit afterwards because it a transactional thing not emotional
avatar for Myoman
Myoman
a year ago
This is an interesting post, and thank you for sharing these feelings with us. I have some thoughts on the matter, including important questions to frame where you are.
Some may be Echoes from some of the above points.
1) Are you married? Kids? Friends/social life? Strip clubs have always been a great thing for me, but only because all of the above are a yes. My marriage is okay, but not great (as most, though not all of course). Our sex life isn't great either (again, as most almost-50 year olds who have been married for over 20 years. But I have a great relationship with my kids, i'm an excellent father. And I have good longterm friends. For these reasons, strip clubs are great for me. It's an escape. An escape where I can be someone else for a little bit. I think if I were single, no kids, no good friends - this habit would be depressing for me.
2) What is your inner mental state these days? If you're suffering from a little depression, everything, even hot girls dancing on you may appear a little dimmer. This may need to be addressed.
3) Sometimes I go through phases where my sex drive is a little less than other times. I don't why, it just is. Maybe this is a factor?
4) How old are you? I do wonder if at some age it happens to all of us. I mean being about 50, I'm definitely less into it a little than when I was say 35. Of course the novelty goes down a bit. But also some overall sex drive (testoterone etc) goes down too. I'm no young buck anymore. How will I feel about the hobby when I'm 60? 65?

Ultimately, it's been such a great thing in my life. I've loved it. But a part of me wonders. The time and money that went into it over the past couple of decades - if it went into it something else - I wonder what experiences I may have had. Closer relationships with some friends/family? Who knows, but we can't overthing too much. Honestly, overall, no regrets on this habit.
avatar for funonthaside
funonthaside
a year ago
Myoman hit on a key point. He essentially asked if the rest of your life is satisfactory. He specially asked about wife/kids/friends, but I'll expand on that a bit. I believe society generallly establishes happiness based on existence of spouse/children/friends. However, one doesn't need to have those things if (a) rhey don't want/need them and (b) they don't give in societal pressures.

The key point, as I see it, is that you be happy with your "regular" life before diving into your strip club life.

If you resort to setup clubs to obtain happiness/fill gaps, you will create a mess for yourself. I believe one reason married guys do better with strip clubs is that we don't go to strip clubs looking for a dating partner. Meanwhile, if one is unhappily single, one may view clubs as a source of dating partners...which we know is a terrible idea. Check your feelings at the door of the club, and you will have a blast.....if you allow your feelings/emptiness to creep into the club, ur will be a very depressing experience.
avatar for Myoman
Myoman
a year ago
That is well-said funonthaside. As your name suggests, strip clubs should be just that. For fun on the side of life. They should never be the main course of life.
avatar for orionsmith
orionsmith
a year ago
I’ve enjoyed my recent strip club visits so much that I’ve only been once or twice this year. Maybe 3 if I forgot one time. I once used to visit clubs every weekend. It hasn’t been like it used to be. That was when I lived an hour away from the closestclub. Now I live 35 minutes away and rarely visit.
avatar for orionsmith
orionsmith
a year ago
I splurged and tipped my Hooters waitress $4 above the normal tip. She appreciated it and thanked me. I rarely ever got a thanks in a strip club for an extra $4
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
a year ago
It's like watching a movie. You don t stop watching movies because you don't like some of them. True, it's more of a loss when you didn't enjoy you time with a particular stripper. It works for me, because I enjoy getting dances from a dancer I like every week. Whereas I don't want to watch the same movie every week, no matter how much I like it.
avatar for Heellover
Heellover
a year ago
I'm enjoying my trips more. But my atf came back in February so I'm sure that has a little (ok everything) to do with it. And she was gone from the club for around 3 years, so it wasn't exactly a short absence.
avatar for JamesSD
JamesSD
a year ago
Take a break.
avatar for booty_lover92
booty_lover92
a year ago
@Orion thank you. I tip very well in strip clubs to bartenders, servers and am seldomly thanked
avatar for booty_lover92
booty_lover92
a year ago
Honestly, I have started to see escorts lately, and since then the appeal of Strip Clubs just isn't there for me. It doesn't seem all that exciting to get an erection with no guarantee of release. If I go to a strip club now it is strictly to have a drink and listen to some music. The girls are a nice addition but I don't feel like I'm missing anything if I don't get any dances.
avatar for WiseToo
WiseToo
a year ago
Years ago I went to strip clubs a few times a month. I found most of the girls attractive. They were available and handsy. They were fun to be with. Dances were reasonably priced.

Now I go 3 to 4 times a year just to check out the scenery. Most of the girls are not attractive and the one or two I may find attractive are usually monopolized by a whale or by a group of other customers. Dances are expensive.

Clubs need to give me a reason to go more frequently.
avatar for Myoman
Myoman
a year ago
As the theme of this thread has transitioned to strip clubs just not being as good anymore, I would definitely agree with that. SCs are not much better for the girls than it is for the men. The ratio is skewed to more silly men spending too much money and not enough girls. Hell, if I was a good-looking girl, I would be a stripper, rub myself over the pants on a few guys and walk out with bank. I long for the good ol' days when there were just hotter girls and more of them.
avatar for RiskA
RiskA
a year ago
Johnny Rotten once said “if you don’t like being a rock star, stop being a rock star.” Move on, at least for awhile. Strip club life is just a game, it’s not real life. It’s for entertainment, and if you aren’t enjoying it then why do it? Yes, there will be bad experiences, ROBs, despair, etc., it’s just part of the game. If there aren’t highs to compensate for the lows, adjust your game or quit & try something or somewhere else. Clear your head & you’ll be fine.
avatar for davephx
davephx
a year ago
I relate to earlier docsavage reply- I am age 76. I am not at all attracted to women anywhere near my age. I enjoy smooth skin to caress and smaller nice breasts to nicely massage. I also interact with a dancer as a person and soul not as a sex object. I also go to escorts and massage parlors (in GTA etc on trips). I have always been more interested in caring sensual intimacy for the moment, more than just the sex stuff but avoiding the US legal issues. Have been doing this for 40-some years including Thailand, the Philippines, and a few years ago in Germany (FK clubs a bit too much for my tastes).
avatar for Myoman
Myoman
a year ago
davephy - wow, now you've got experience! I'm curious - at your age, how do the girls treat you. It is a lot different than when you were younger? Do they seem less into it? I know whatever the age, it's just an act on the dancers' part, but is it just more obvious? Also, do you have kids and even grandkids? Are you ever worried about seeing one of them or their friends at a SC. I'm beginning to worry about that as my kids get older - they are only teens now. But I'd be absolutely mortified if I see my son (or even one of his friends) at a SC!
avatar for rickdugan
rickdugan
a year ago
Fuck dude. All this self loathing and self pity is just downright pathetic. Grow some fucking balls already. Go to the gym. If you already go to the gym, pump some damned iron instead of whatever sissy routines you do on the machines. Maybe take up boxing or martial arts. Just do something to find some semblance of manly pride FFS.

I'm really not trying to be an a-hole here, though I'm sure it seems that way. You're just going to the club with your head screwed on the wrong way, which is leading you to seek too much from it. A strip club is not the place to search for affirmation brother. Worse though, strippers can sense desperation and bad vibes and will treat you accordingly.

Finally, yes, playing with strippers is expensive. If the money that you're spending means as much to you as it does to her, you shouldn't be giving it to her to begin with. This is something that is supposed to be funded with purely discretionary funds. If it is cutting into other priorities, you shouldn't be doing it.

So yes, maybe take a break until you can go back with your head on straight and your budget in order.
avatar for funonthaside
funonthaside
a year ago
^ Exactly. Treat strip-clubbing like gambling....discretionary funds only, and treat is solely as a fun escape, not a means to accomplish something else.
avatar for mark94
mark94
a year ago
Elon Musk recently said that everything men do is a result of a primal need to get laid. If you can’t afford strip clubs, use that to motivate you to raise your income. Work out. Upgrade your wardrobe.
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