Pulling back the curtain

My favorite dancers, the ones I always go back to, are honest with me. They don’t tell me everything. They shouldn’t. But, I am confident they are truthful about what they choose to share.

Then, there are the fantasists. The worst are the ones with fake European accents. They can be amusing ina way that you laugh when someone slips on ice. I seldom get repeat dances from them.

I'm always honest when asked that question. I'm married. The girl is not there to find a husband. She is there to make money. Actually I've found that the dancers get a little relieved to hear I'm married. They know I'm aware that this is fantasy land.

I just realized you are a dancer asking that question. I personally would. not care. You make your own lifestyle choices. But it possibly could hurt your earning. But I don't think morals are something that most PL's care about.

Only people that would care about your relationship status are RILs and white knights. That said, they have wallets too.

Thanks everyone! Did I post in the wrong area?

no.

A truthful stripper would be a novelty act.

I already know. I earn that money I’m handing over by using my brain and logic. Even if you are single, I know you’re not falling for my ass lol. That’s why I rely on the universal cheat code named money!

Hey! 😎

As a dancer, it depends on the customer. Some of them think they're in love with me so it would kill their fantasy. So, it is not uncommon for me to tell a man I just met that I am single unless he is a club regular or someone who seems to know the game. They don't believe in the fantasy so they really don't care. My long time regulars know I have a boyfriend. The newer regulars are about 50/50.

I would never ask a dancer their relationship status. I avoid anyone who wants to tell me, except at work.

Whenever a customer asks me if I have a boyfriend, I will usually after ask if they have a boyfriend. A few don’t seem to like that 🤔

Well if I’m going to propose as I often do I think it would be an important piece of information.

I never ask because normally I assume that she has an SO. Young females with codependency issues rarely stay single for long. But it often comes out in normal conversation.

The only time I care is when they are tripping over themselves to talk about their SOs. The good version of this is when she is bitching about him, clearly building herself up to rationalize xyz with me. The bad version is where she keeps bringing him up in other ways or otherwise forces references to him in our chat, which I have learned over the years is a telltale sign that she's going to be a stick in the mud.

Anyway just my two cents.

Nice to see you @Rick Dugan!!!! You still active on the pink site?

No. You know what it’s something I’d rather not know. I just always assume there’s like 3 or 4 guys atleast in her orbit but I would rather not know the details. I mean here I am working my fucking ass off paying real good money for VIP’s stacking LD’s, paying heavy entrance fees, buying Long Island Iced Teas with this girl, while she’s telling me how she’s fucking DJ fuckhead or some Kevin Federline type dude for nada. Im not an idiot I figure there’s some POS in the background I’d just rather not hear about it, it can be a turn off.

Damn I was hoping I had a chance with Nina 💙

It doesn't matter to me, but if SO/BF is actually in the club when I am, I don't want anything to do with that stripper anymore.

I mean...a few weeks ago a new one was sitting at the bar with me and she happened to bring up the boyfriend mid-conversation...no big deal to me, but since she said she'd only started stripping a few weeks earlier, I mentioned to her to be careful around whom she lets the b-word slip. It could be a few hundred dollar mistake around the wrong guy.

On the other hand, as I was walking out to my car another night, the cute bartender and one of the girls were smoking on the patio and called me over. So as I'm sitting there, the bartender mentions that she loves smokey scotch... immediately my whiskey boner sprung and I proposed to her. Technically I don't think I ever got an answer. Hmmm...

I try to keep my fiance incognito but on the few times he's gone with me to work he always gets recognized.
On the other hand one club that I worked at he was relatively unknown. The owner had recently clamped down on significant others coming in the club. The DJ pointed out that since most people had seen our sex tape he should be fine provided he didn't take out his member and wave it around. 😂

By the way everyone thank you for your comments and keeping me occupied on this very boring evening.

And what we are saying here I’m assuming it’s like a CF type girl, not some random ass stripper I met rolling through Kansas City one night then who gives a shit.

I’ve never asked and never will. But if you have more than a few visits with the same dancer it seems they can’t help but to talk about it. I never thought about it until just now but my 3 favorites had BF’s that fit right into the typical stereotype.

One was the DJ. One was a black drug dealer. One was an unemployed white wanna be rapper who slept all day and played video games all night.

I've had a lot of dancers be honest with me and tell me they are married/committed. It doesn't ruin anything for me. I'm looking for fun within an allotted time frame not a relationship. Some guys I know take off their wedding rings before they visit a club. I leave mine on and I can't tell you how many times I've heard some variation of, "I love married guys because they aren't looking for anything beyond the VIP room."

I never ask that question, at least partially because I assume that the dancer will likely lie. And that's fine. It's her personal life and I understand why many dancers want a barrier between their work and personal life.

As @Nina posted, I think it can be an issue business-wise w/ newbie and/or lonely PLs that can’t (and sometimes won’t) see strip-clubs for what they are and that it’s a business and the dancer is providing a service – all things being equal probably best to not provide that info unsolicited to kinda cover all your bases of not hurting a newbie’s/lonely-guy’s fantasy – having said this if the custy is the one asking then probably best to be honest otherwise the dancer may be unwittingly leading-on a RIL that has unfounded/incorrect expectations/thoughts.

Probably the "don't ask don't tell" policy works best in strip-club bizarro-world.

MY DEAR TEMPEST NO!!!!!

HOW COULD YOU????

SPOIL THE LOVE WE SHARE!!!!!

SNATCHED FROM MY GRASPS!!!!!!

A FIANCE SHE HAS!!!

OH BLACK ROSE, BLACK ROSE ON A SORROW WREATH, LOVE IS SUCH A CRUEL GAME

I REMEMBER THE TIME I HAD PURCHASED A $900 CHAMPAGHNE ROOM SO I COULD GIVE YOU A BACK MASSAGE, YES THOSE WERE MERRY TIMES, MEMORIES I'll KEEP FOREVER

I SHALL WANDER OFF NOW WITH A BROKEN HEART, NEVER TO RETURN...NEVER TO RETURN

I once asked a dancer with whom I had a pretty good relationship about the approximate percentage of dancers who are married, have kids, or are divorced. "80%", was her reply.

If I was looking for extras, I would want to make sure that she wasn't married. Other than that, I don't have a problem.

I don’t ask. I don’t care that a dancer has a SO. I just don’t want to spend any time talking about him. If it’s possible for there to be a stripper-customer friend zone, listening to her talking about her SO is it for me. No thanks. So I don’t ask.

If you’re a dancer and you get asked I think the safest thing to say is no. If you say no, it shouldn’t change your interaction with the customer unless they are some weirdo who gets off on thinking they are cucking (first time I’ve ever used that word) someone else. If you say yes, there’s a chance a customer will care.

I don’t ask, but if a stripper volunteers that she has a SO and wants to talk about them, I figure she’s trying to tell me any dances will be within boundaries and that’s not what I’m really looking for, so I excuse myself.

===> 'Nice to see you @Rick Dugan!!!! You still active on the pink site?"

Good to see you as well T. I visit the pink site sporadically now. It's just not as fun as it used to be since they banned or chased away most of the real dancers. Now it's mostly a small collection of burned out ex-dancers and a guy pretending to be a few dancers.

I don't think it matters to most customers. I prefer honesty but it doesn't matter

I don't ask and don't want to know.

If I'm spending a lot of time and money with a dancer I'm usually thinking about hotel time. If they say they are married, I pursue greener pastures.

I will ask if they have kids.

I don't ask at all. However, if a girl lies and I find out different, I cut her off. As others have stated, I assume you have an SO. Just don't lie about it if I don't ask.

I'm happy if a dancer has a SO. Keeps her from getting attached. Ain't got no time for stage 5 clingers.

I don’t ask. This is her job and her personal life is not my business so long as she doesn’t make it so.

That being said, it will likely come up somewhere in the conversation eventually if it’s a gal I’ve seen a lot. I don’t really care one way or another if she is in a relationship or whether she is honest with me about that.

And not for nothing there's the drama aspect that can come with that. Mr.Boyfriend might not be to thrilled to hear about your outside the club adventures.

Single girls are just easier to hang with. We could drink all night, go out in public hang out at her place, my place whatever, laid back relaxed nobody gives a fuck. A serious girlfriend/fiancee/married girl is gonna be on her James Bond shit, in and out, it's just going to be uptight and uncomfortable. Even if you don't know you can kind tell just by the signs something going on her background. There's just too many fish in the sea to be messing with girls in serious LTR's at least outside.

ITC I don't care as much but how many places are even good for ITC while having decent talent anymore? It's out there but it's getting rare.

My fiance and I were interviewed for my friend's podcast on a segment titled "Dating as a Dancer"
https://open.spotify.com/episode/6a787zr…

I don't ask but I usually find out if I continue getting dances, etc from them.

I respect their privacy and don’t ask about relationship status. If they volunteer it ok but might wonder if he know what’s going on. I have had many dancers as sb who were married or who had bf. It’s an exciting turn on fucking the other guys woman (cum harder, screamer) or feeling them during dance. One told me who I was doing both otc and itc “he knows I dance but thinks it’s just air dances”. I took bik and nude photos of her for my archive and have fucked her 500 plus times over long time in sd relationship. She quit dancing after marriage then div him after 5 yr marriage. Couple years back s got pg by boy toy 10 yr younger. Got to fuck her bareback up to 3rd trimester. 3 mo after kid born resumed sex enjoyment relations w her. I believe have fucked her longer than any her 3 marriages. She is all in as far as meeting up.

As mark 94 and mike 710 say. I don't need to know your life story, but if I get an inkling I'm being lied to, I'll tend to cut you off.

A guy could c a stripper in sd relationship who’s bf is in jail but when he’s out she no longer plays. It just depends on the girl and in that case I move on. Each situation has its own unique qualities.

When a dancer tells me something about her life, I try to remember it and include it in future conversations. Just like you would, or should, with anyone else. It’s treating her like a regular person, not just someone you pay to use. It makes the encounter more pleasant for both of us. A GFE is more likely, which I like.

i’m single.
after 35 years of marriage I am happily single.
really really happy I’m single.

and I’m going to stay single.

I never ask. I don't mind if dancers tell me about SOs or other personal stuff if they want to. If they make a point of saying they're single, I express skepticism that someone so beautiful and charming could be single. Yeah, you definitely have to bring your shovel when you dance for me.

Stripping is best when it's about giving the customer very basic sexual stimulation. When customers want emotional needs fulfilled, needs for intimacy or power, that gets complicated and often very toxic. But many dancers go there, because it can be can be good for them moneywise. If you're one that goes there, best to pretend no SO.

I never ask this question and strippers rarely ask me. I go to clubs for a fake fantasy don’t ruin it for me! Lol

One time I was getting lapdances from an extremely attractive girl and we were having a nice conversation. Somehow the conversation turned to her talking about her boyfriend. What a buzz kill. I know if I meet 10 strippers 8 of them probably have a boyfriend/husband but that’s info I don’t need to know.

I don’t think about it but if that’s the conversation you’re having I think you’re doing something wrong lol

"4. Be a normal human fucking being. You aren’t going to have some witty line she’s never heard before, or impress her by insulting her.

5. Asking her real name or if she has a boyfriend is cliché at best, creepy at worst."

https://tuscl.net/article.php?id=57959

===> "I know if I meet 10 strippers 8 of them probably have a boyfriend/husband but that’s info I don’t need to know."

Agreed about the ration of dancers who have boyfriends/husbands, but IMHO the remaining two likely have GFs or are just very briefly in between SOs. IME it is a rare dancer who doesn't have an SO.

I generally don’t care about a girl’s personal situation. I pretty much assume they all have lives outside of the club that involve BFs or SOs. However, I once had a really cute Latina tell me that she lived with her parents, and grandmother. For some reason this became an instant turn off for me.

I don’t care about a girl’s personal situation either.

Only once has it ever come up. I was in a happy place with a fav. Bare breast to bare breast, nose to nose, hands exploring each other, rocking gently together. I asked if I could caress her ear, I'd love that she purred; it felt electric. Wow.

I pulled back, looked at her pretty face and said "if there be a person lucky enough to be your lover, that would be a lucky person". She paused. I wondered if I'd spoke too 'close to home'. She slowly said "He's OK - I guess". For a little bit, I thought she meant she wished he touched her so gently and sensually like I did. Then I laughed at myself and squeezed her butt.

It only bothers me when she brags about it.

Two of my ATFs were married and gave excellent mileage. One of them spilled the beans on my 4th or 5th visit to her, but then in the same conversation she sent me nudes and told me to add her on facebook. The other one I only found out from someone else after she stopped working.

Of the dancers that have made me aware of their situation - every one - and I mean every damn one, had some sob story about how their SO is such a bad guy, blah,blah, blah…..

No stripper ever would ever tell a customer a lie to make them feel sorry for her to make extra cash, right?

I’ve had girls brag about how they just met a great guy or about how much money her BF makes.

@motorhead that's version 2.0 of the "I could be yours if you spend-show me your love" strategy. Version 1.0 is just saying your single. But then other dancers rat you out to get your regulars. You then make yourself rat-proof by saying your BF is evil and you need rescuing.

I certainly understand why an entertainer would not want to publicize her relationship status (or her home address) (or the last 4 of her SSN). Part of me would LOVE to hear that she's single and available for me to sweep her off of her feet. On the other hand, it would not surprise me that someone this beautiful and confident and sexually playful actually was in a fabulous relationship.... with a _really_ lucky guy.
(Of whom I would be jealous.)

I don't tell them whether or not _I_ am married, so if all things in clubs were fair, I wouldn't need to know if she's married to her high school sweetheart, or dating the guy who was sitting in my very same chair three months ago today, or in a torrid lesbian love affair with the House Mom/manager of the club.

I recently (after talking about many other things with a dancer) essentially asked her (roundabout, in not so many words) how her significant other handled having her doing wild stuff with random men at the club where we were. She quickly and firmly shut down that conversation, saying that she keeps her life in the club completely separate from whatever her life outside the club was.
I understood that --- and btw did NOT negotiate with her about OTC for me!

Another place, someone else was TOO wordy about her real life beyond the club. It was too much, ruined the mood, and lost her a small stack of currency that instead stayed in my pocket that day.

As with most things in life = it depends. But most often, live in the moment, stay light and playful and flirty, play up the fantasy (without going overboard), and recognize the wonders and the limitations of the context both of you have chosen to share today/tonight.

Oh I've had fellow dancers try to "sabotage" my money by "revealing" my relationship status like they're Edward Snowden. It usually backfires spectacularly. Last time that happened the customer was nonplussed. "Yeah, I know. I just smoked weed with him." Strike one. 😂 The next day I smiled and said sweetly "Honey, blabbing about my personal life won't make your tits bigger overnight."

@tempest do you shank them in the parking lot after strike three?

I’ve literally had guys do rooms with me that another girl sold them on because she wouldn’t shut up about her boyfriend. Stop telling them about your boyfriend. If they ask, it’s likely they think they can buy you as their girlfriend. Let them think this.

“Oh I've had fellow dancers try to "sabotage" my money by "revealing" my relationship status like they're Edward Snowden.”

This reminds me of a girl at my local “go to“ club. I know two girls there pretty well. They are both very good looking. In fact, I would say they are among the top 10% at the club. They are also good friends. I know they hang out outside the club because they both talk about it a lot.

I like both girls, but I like Girl 1 better than Girl 2. We just “click” better. I’ve done numerous VIPs with her, almost every time I go to the club now, and have met her many times OTC. I’ll get a couple/several dances from Girl 2 almost every time I see her, always tip her when she’s on stage, but I’ve only done a couple of VIPs with her, and I have never met her OTC.

Girl 2 is very competitive. If I am chatting with her, and Girl 1 is not in the club, she always manages to insert a reference to Girl 1’s boyfriend into the conversation.

The first couple of times, I didn’t think anything of it. And then I noticed it was a pattern that she always mentioned the boyfriend, but only if Girl 1 was not there. I am now pretty much convinced that she does this in an effort to make Girl 1 less desirable in my eyes so that I will spend more money on her.

I couldn’t care less either way. I’ve always known Girl 1 had a boyfriend because it has come up briefly once or twice in casual conversation, but it’s never been the subject of a conversation.

I find it odd that a customer would care.

I don’t care about a dancer’s relationship status. I’m there to enjoy my time in the club. I have no illusions that I will be seeing a dancer for social reasons outside the club - so her relationship status isn’t my concern.

If we are chatting, and she mentions she has a SO, that’s fine. I hope her SO is ok with her dancing, but since she’s in the club, that’s enough for me.