Not been approached by dancers while inside the club: How common is it?

Common for me, I’m told I look like a cop. I’m like ‘cop a feels on dis!’

It's happened. Usually in a regulars' club where there are many more guys than girls. That's when you need to intercept them as they come out of the dressing room or bathroom.

I've even been to clubs where dancers are not allowed to approach.

Being a little proactive means you’ll never have to sit alone.

Depends on if the club has lots of girls working. I've been in clubs where there were 30-40 patrons and only 4-5 girls working. If I notice this quickly, I'll leave. But sometimes the servers will tell you "there are more girls in the back". You don't realize they were lying for a while.

I don't particularly want them to approach me. I just want them to be friendly if I approach them. The worst is when some girl sits down at my table uninvited. She'll then ask me the standard stripper questions while pretending to be interested in my answers until she thinks enough time has passed to ask me if I'm doing dances. Sometimes I'll interrupt her and politely tell her at the beginning I'm not going to be doing any dances so she won't waste her time. Many of the dancers know that some guys are looking for a specific type or even might have a club regular so they don't approach, which is one reason you might not get approached when you go to a club.

So there are a lot of factors that might come into play. For me at least, it depends on how the customer is portraying himself as well. Is the customer engaged with the girl on stage, is he even ordering a drink, does he look bored, is he on his phone?

I consider myself an OG dancer. I want the customer to get settled before I make my approach. I want you to have your first drink at your table before I come to you. That will give you time to acclimate yourself.

Personally, I find it annoying and I feel it's a sign of desperation when a girl approaches a customer as soon as he sits down and before the waitress can even go to his table.

Now, I have mentioned previously on here I'm in several online (private) dancer groups. I am not allowed to share screenshots and I'm not sure if I'm exactly allowed to even talk about them in complete detail. However, I will say that there are quite a number of posts about girls who have social anxiety and do get nervous about talking to customers or what to say to them. So, there is that. 🤷‍♀️

Agree with waffle, I think some “open” body language goes a long way. Such as willingness to make eye contact, or anything else which may signal that you want somebody to talk to you. If that’s not working, then more in-depth discussion would be required

When I've gone to clubs the girls would come by alot, as those clubs were couple/female friendly, but I was there just for fun and foreplay with my date even though we got some couple dances, and I was able to give him a few also.


I would notice during visits that alot men sat lonesome, however who knows why, maybe they didnt like what they saw or just looked....


Does that happen.... men go to just look? Lol but seriously.... does it?

It seems that dancer’s with less to offer generally are the one swooping in early in an attempt to make a nights wage. Wiffle Waffle and Nicespice seem to have better prospects of making money than certain dancer’s with questionable game or looks. I’ve also found exceptions to the rules of logic (mine and others) quite often in my strip club endeavors.

I always go with money and the full intent to get dances. There are some nights when the talent does not stimulate my interest to engage and yet I stay hoping to find out if the whole lineup remains disappointing to me. It only takes one entertainer to change the visit and I certainly will be proactive respectfully when a game changer appears.

I believe some customer go and their plan is to see as much as they can, at minimal outlay!

Happens to me all the time – been told by dancers they are intimidated by my incredible good-looks

Certain clubs have a certain M.O.s - some are heavy-regulars clubs as has been mentioned - other clubs have a rep for custies w/ deep-pockets and the better-looking dancers seem to not wanna waste their time w/ someone that may look like an avg-Joe and they are more picky and willing to wait to single-out whales.

Most of us experienced SCers likely avoid clubs w/ poor-ROI including aloof/disinterested dancers and we know which clubs to hit.

But body-language likely plays a part - if there's something to be said w.r.t. dancers looking/acting interested, then perhaps something similar can be said for custies - I tend to be a bit of a worry-wart and that sometimes shows in my body-language or face when I have stuff on my mind and I sometimes may give off a "leave me the fuck-alone" vibe.

You never really know why. I was once told by a dancer that a certain girl avoided me because the time I took her to VIP I took too long to come. Not joking. Some girls don't like spending 30 minutes hard at work with someone where they could spend 10 minutes with someone else for the same money.

Yeah it happens. Usually because they're more interested in their phones than actually earning a living.

NEVER. Not in the handful of clubs in my town. But I'm LOOKING, and Tipping. And I'll approach, if I'm interested.

Yes it's happened a few times. It's very rare since I will tip at least the first three dancers dancers on stage, unless one or more of them doesn't appeal to me at all, and possibly asking one to stop by. Also, I typically catch the look of two or three dancers eying me, and waved one or two more within 20 minutes of entering the club. Even in a club where dancers don't circulate unless you ask, typically at least 3 different dancers will have stop by.

A few times when tipping dozens of dancers and asking all the ones who I like to stop by, none will have come over after an hour and I'll leave to another club. The last place this happened was Criket's in Dearborn, on two different visits.

I've had a dancer grab my arm and lead me to a table as soon as I walk inside. Also, had times when I sit at the bar for an hour and no dancers speak to me at all.
I think it all depends on the crowd. How many regulars have the good dancers sitting with them, and then how many lazy dancers are content just texting on their phones.

I have noticed that it seems to be tied to that club's workplace culture. One club in particular, Vixens (formerly Scarlett's), has been like that for almost as long as I can remember. Girls site in large groups with individual customers who are known to them, and almost never circulate and work the crowd. These guys are not lottery winners throwing up hundreds, they are just old men who go there several times a week to be fleeced for food and singles by these women. That's just the culture there, which is why I rarely visit that club.

The other thing to remember is that these girls talk to each other. If you shrug off each girl that approaches you, they will spread the word in the dressing room that you are a deadbeat. Unless the girls are just hideous, I tend to agree to a dance or two with the third girl to approach me. You have to show that you have money and you want to spend it. This is why pulling a fat roll of single to peel off the stage tips helps, too.

Eye contact and smiling when a dancer you want is nearby is the final suggestion I can think of. Like an earlier comment noted, these girls are human and may be socially anxious or generally intimidated by you. Maybe they are misreading your body language. Be open about your interest.

I can't recall it ever happening to me because I doubt that I would stay in a club 1-2 hours without any contact.

In my experience - this is club specific behavior.

If you enter a club - and you aren’t immediately approached to buy a dance - that’s a good thing. That immediate type of approach is usually like pouncing - and it’s not often a worthwhile offer.

The clubs where you don’t get approached - even after getting your drink - can be regulars clubs. It’s generally easy to spot those clubs after a few minutes. The dancers usually park themselves next to their regular customer and they don’t appear to be scoping out the room.

If you get your drink and you seem settled - and it’s not a regulars club - and you don’t get approached - that would seem odd. A normal dude - who is showing interest - and who is spending - would seem to be a good person to ask about buying dances.

There should not be any prob getting dances or them coming to table. Are they all fucked out extras girls near shift end. I would leave if facing op situation above - try another club.

You gotta get rud of that small dick energy.

Not if I'm there for an hour or two, but I've left a club after 15-20 minutes if I haven't been approached and I don't see anything that's drawing my interest. I've also left a club in 5 minutes when I was actively trying to avoid getting stuck being polite to a club full of bowsers.

Hell, I've had dancers walk up and ask me why I haven't left yet. Some clubs don't put dancers on stage when it's slow, so customers are sitting there bored and dancers are wondering if they should bother saying hello. Usually my answer is because I'm from out of town, it's late and there's shit else to do around here. If the dancer is the best prospect on shift I'll use the "waiting for you" line, which has been in so-bad-it's-good territory a long time now. I've had some pretty good visits kick off from there.

I don't have this problem in most clubs, but every once in a while I'll come across a place like this. There are any number of factors that can lead to something like this, as others here have outlined very well.

Since I usually give off a relaxed vibe in the club, I assume if I'm not approached that the dancers are either busy or disinterested for a potential infinite number of reasons. We can only control our own behavior and body language and I assume that others here, like me, are experienced enough to remain approachable. So then that only leaves whatever issues the dancers are considering, which I don't really waste much thought on because they are outside of my control anyway.

One thing I've learned not to do over the years is chase a particular dancer or try to push the interaction into being. Rarely has doing either ever resulted in a great experience. If she was not motivated enough to come try to take my money even after I made eye contact and, if she did a set, tipped her on stage (for example), then the odds are good that my money will get more productive use is I burned it to light my cigar. Whether her issue is social anxiety, simple laziness, waiting for someone (a regular, food delivery, drug dealer, etc.) or whatever, something is more important to her than your wallet, which does not bode well for the overall experience. There are other girls, other clubs and even other nights.

Rick's white 3-piece polyester suit, and perforated, fake "chemical engineer", home-printer business cards bring all the girls to his table, LOL!

If I wear a suit and tie I am never left alone. If I dress like a dumpster diver, which I do often, I am left alone for the most part until I am ready to draw someone in with my piercing gaze.

Sorry, i was der every time and I hogged all da bitches. I da Mackie! I fet all da bitches! Dey always want to ride in da fancy shit truck! @OP You got to upgrade to da Mackie game and get a shit truck!!!

For the most part getting approached is pretty easy: Smile, make eye contact, tip on stage, and sit somewhere visible all are pretty easy ways to make sure you get approached. I can see having some difficulty if you just go in, sit in the corner by yourself and look angry.
That said, if at a club where there are more guys than girls in a ration of 5:1 or greater, you’re likely not going to get approached even if you do all that as there are too many dudes to manage.

I've sometimes been ignored when I was the only one in the club. I don't stay very long when that happens.

It's common. Just depends on the club dynamics. Just approach girls you want

I guess the OP decided customers can have this issue after all. Was there ever a Top 3 reasons or something on why customers get ignored for an hour or two?

If it happens regularly you have bad hygiene, look angry or have something else wrong with you that you need to fix. If it happens once in a while there are a zillion reasons why and it’s usually not worth a whole lot of effort to absolutely have to know why.

Is this at one particular club? Each club has their own club culture and there are some clubs where the girls are simply lazy.

It could also be you. Nothing personal against you, but there might be something about you that makes you appear intimidating or unapproachable. But if you are tipping and no one bites, I attribute it to laziness on the part of the dancers.

I myself approach customers quite often and as much as I can. I have anxiety so this was actually the toughest thing for me to learn to do when I first began dancing. I knew how to dance and was not nervous about stage or lap dancing. It was the going up to complete strangers and holding a conversation that was tough for me. So I think intimidation from that along with laziness is what you might be experiencing, although it's hard to imagine an entire club full of girls will neglect a customer who is tipping. That is called being lazy. And stupid.

I don’t know if anyone pointed this out but sometimes if you have one come up to you and you decline that could set the tone for a bad night. A lot of those girls run in cliques and gossip about in the locker room thinking “Ok, he ain’t spending any money.” Or if you dance with one and a group of girls don’t care for who you selected. As most have said... the atmosphere, regulars and the amount of girls working can play a part.

"A lot of those girls run in cliques and gossip about in the locker room thinking 'Ok, he ain’t spending any money.'"

This happens to unknowns, but I don't think it's as big a factor as I used to. Girls will try to get you to spend on their friends if you're interested, but especially now with money getting tight a dancer is going to get what she needs from you. Unless you're a total dirtbag to her friend as a new face they'll work it out. These days I'm getting more random referrals (if you don't like me how about my friend, etc) because even if I'm saying no I'm looking around for talent. Used to be mostly the I don't do that but she does, want to meet her?

"Or if you dance with one and a group of girls don’t care for who you selected."

This is a thing, but dancers will keep that to themselves unless they're comfortable sharing dirty laundry. If you're an unknown they'll probably give you a pass on that unless it's a dancer they won't go behind. And if that's the case most TUSCLers would be good by then anyway.

This should all be a non issue though. Just approach the dancer you want to be with.

I've approached dancers when they were with other customers before and they always come over pretty quickly