Saying "no" is not rude.
herbtcat
Cool Cat in the Valley
Gentlemen, sac up, please!
Are you worried about being a dick by saying no in a restaurant when your waiter asks you if you want a salad with your steak? Are you worried about being a dick at your house if your gardener asks you if you want him/her to plant flowers? Are you worried about being a dick in your car if that crack 'ho you picked up on Figueroa & 7th Street asks you to put you fingers in her ass?
Saying is no is just saying no.
Being a disrespectful dick has nothing to do with saying no.
As an old mentor once told me: It's not what you say, it's how you say it.
Please don't make me make Muddy revoke your man cards.
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I'm not saying you should turn someone down impolitely or rudely, but having a good list of excuses never hurts. "Sorry, I'm waiting on someone else," is technically not even lying.
If she doesn't get the message and keeps trying to work on you, that's her wasted time, not yours.
If I'm traveling, I usually have about an hour in a club to get through what I want if there's a dancer that catches my eye. Last time I was at Follies I spent about 3 hours there, which is an exception and I knew it'd be my last time there for a while. Point being, if the pushy dancers that are hard pressed for cash hit me in the first few minutes, is it worth me derailing the rest of my visit on the off chance the girl I'm trying to clear out of my space is the locker room bestie with the dancer I actually want? Or is going to cause a stink because I'm her 10th rejection of the shift and her self esteem goes kablooie?
$2, $3, or $5 (depends on if she's a bottom feeder or maybe someone I'd wave over later if the lineup is garbage) is nothing versus a wasted visit because the vibe got thrown off. Plus, the better dancers know what's up and being decent can be the difference between being "next" in line and being the guy she'll walk over to last if she still needs to make her tip out. How many threads have we seen on TUSCL where some guy is ass hurt because he waved money and "bitches" just stared or ignored him entirely?
Saying "no" is not rude. That much is true. But I'm in a strip club to spend money to have fun, and I've been doing this long enough to know saying "no" if I'm a new face can be self-defeating if I haven't got the lay of the land before the banditas strike. I've also learned how to communicate what I'm interested in well enough where at most I'll get two or so hanger ons before the girls sort out who should walk over. The days of having a conga line of hoodrats bugging me for $2 is pretty much over unless I'm in a club full of hoodrats, then that's on me for staying.
But here at home, it I’m not interested, then I’ll just say no. Probably nonthank you, but it’s a no whichever way I say it.
I don’t think it’s impolite for me to say no just like it’s not impolite for her to say no she won’t fuck me.
Telling the waiter no at a restaurant is not personal. He is not being personally rejected.
Telling a dancer no, regardless of how thick their skin is, is still a rejection of her appearance at the least. I know these girls are used to it, but in my very younger years I knew a few girls that danced. And it still occasionally got to them when they had say a lot of rejections in a shift or were just having an off day to begin with. Yes it’s part of the job, but that doesn’t mean they’re not ever bothered by it. Maybe if they are this isn’t the profession for them, but I just prefer to remember that when talking to a dancer.
However, I do agree it how it’s said. And it’s absolutely possible and ok to say no in a way that’s not rude.
I had one dancer I ignored recently because she was just going on and on about awkward and inappropriate stuff. I think she was very high on something. I didn’t know how to handle that situation since she already seemed agitated and I didn’t want to cause a scene. Thankfully she got the hint and left after a few minutes.
I like to stay very low key at clubs, keep things calm, and everyone happy. I find a little of that goes a long way. It’s less about needing to sac up, and more about the fact that I’m probably being slightly manipulative to keep people on my good side, should I decide to make this a club I frequent. I’m not afraid to speak up, but I know I’m there for an experience and it’ll be much better if I’m at least not disliked.
You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.
Herbtcat, I think this is exactly what the people asking were referring to, it's not that they think saying no is bad, but they are trying to figure out how to say it the best.
It's best to come across as polite at possible when turning down a dancer, especially in clubs that you don't go to often enough to have a reputation for spending money. It may turn out that the 7 you are blowing off when you first arrive in hopes of finding someone better turns out to be the best girl on shift and you end up wanting time with her later. This will go a lot better if you politely decline her initial offer instead of rudely blowing her off.
Don't forget that dancers spend a lot of time talking to each other and it is often about the customers. Do you really want a girl who you blew off because she is completely not your type telling the dancers you are interested in to avoid you because you are just "a rude broke asshole" before you ever get a chance to talk to them?
I have no problem turning down dancers for a number of different reasons, but I always try to be nice when I do. The only exception is when I have been trying to politely tell a girl no and she just won't leave me alone. Then I gradually get more blunt with her and have occasionally had to be downright rude to get her to comprehend.
I do strongly agree in being polite and respectful, even in your "no thank yous", unless she keeps pushing.
In a slower or smaller club, yes girls are more likely to compare notes and may not approach you if somebody thinks you’re an asshole.
But idk, it’s stupid common for customers to want to “watch you on stage” or “I’m waiting on my cheese fries” first as a delay tactic and won’t think of you poorly for it.
Now granted, that means that you will be put lower on the priority list for her to approach later if she finds another customer who is already “ready to go”, but if it’s slow enough then it won’t matter.
...Unless it’s slow enough that she gets discouraged and parks her butt in the dressing room. I remember at one club dayshift, a customer gave me a stern lecture about my behavior, but then soon after did take me to the back for a couple of dances not too long after anyways. Lmao
Learn to say no know respectfully and everything will be OK.
I felt at first rejecting a dancer would lessen my chances with other dancers but quickly I learned this is about me and my entertainment.
If you see a lady you want to spend it on badly enough, you will find a way to flag her down when she's free. Neither she nor the club will care how much you were spending before.
I see no good reason to spend money on women you're not interested in, even if that earns you a reputation as a non- spender. When it comes time to spend it, they'll take it. The only reputation you'll get spending your money foolishly wil be as a ATM PL.
I'm guessing you're addressing Rick, who takes the waving off approach. But in the case of "polite no" to hustlers, I don't think it has the slightest negative impact, even in small clubs. In fact, IME all the strippers know who the vultures are, and politely turning down those vultures has not ever impacted my experience negatively. Even if a great stripper is friends with a hustler, a stripper ALWAYS knows her friend is a hustler and understands why some guys don't bite. Does this match w/ your experience?
ISHMAEL: "I know you're working and I don't want to waste your time. I'm not looking to buy dances and I'd rather hang out and watch the stage for now."
Or something like that. Direct. Polite. Simple.
Sheesh guys this isn’t rocket science, when you go to Disney do you pick the rides, when you go to the movies do you see what you want so why should this be anymore difficult
That’s it. Don’t even bother making up an excuse. They don’t care and are going to leave you talking mid sentence.
That's a hair more complex than choosing one salsa over another at the supermarket. And yeah, I get that rejection is part of the job it takes only an extra second or two to be considerate.
To each their own.
That's squarely your problem.
"And those are rides, these are people."
Specifically, they're people who want to get paid. They are at work. If you invite them to sit with you, chat them up for however long, and don't buy dances, then you aren't doing them any favors. You're just wasting their time.
If you're happy with how you spend your money and don't catch a stripper heel across the face for your troubles, then c'est la vie.
Agree with this part, Bav
Ish-->"It's not difficult or complex, but I do think it's important to be respectful and somewhat kind. Because you're rejecting a person, and specifically a woman based most likely on her appearance.
That's a hair more complex than choosing one salsa over another at the supermarket. And yeah, I get that rejection is part of the job it takes only an extra second or two to be considerate."
Very strongly agree with this.
Bav-->"They don’t care and are going to leave you talking mid sentence."
This part I don't agree with as much, Bav; for me you've over-rotated a bit. You might have been using hyperbole, but if not, I've never had a stripper leave me mid-sentence.
I think to the extent there's disagreement here, it's that some PLs -- often those who seek variety and have never known even a single stripper well -- seem to think strippers are coin-operated automatons who have no feelings about anything. The girls are effected by their success, just like you would be; the newer girls get their feelings hurt, the super jaded girls get irritated, etc. It might not be about YOU, it might be hurt feelings that four customer/walking-wallets turned them down in a row. But I think it's always worth saying things with a smile, being respectful, basically treating her like a person. But I'm firm and clear about my intentions, relatively quickly but without rudely waving her off or cutting her off mid-sentence
They don’t care and are going to leave you talking mid sentence.
Sometimes I go to clubs and I am looking to just chat with a sexy woman. Of course I pay her for her time sitting with me.
But sometimes I go and I’m not looking to chat, I just want to look at hot ladies and see who I want to do a dance with, vip. Sometimes I’ve had a long day and don’t want to talk. I just want to chill and drink.
When a dancer sits and chats with me, it’s not as easy to say no. She’s not asking if I want a dance so I can’t just say no.
Dancer [sits down next to me]:So what brings you here tonight?
Me: No
Having a little script for those situations helps.
Yeah when word gets around of a customer, it’s for something specific and not for saying “no” specifically. I think it’s known some kinds of men are slow to warm up and may only decide to focus on a specific dancer or two only.
Me personally, if I heard something negative about a customer—but he’s in front of me anyways, then it won’t stop me from trying but I will speed up the process because I consider him “higher risk”
One example I can think of is the guy who kept pitching all the girls to be in his friend’s music video. Supposedly he knew some high profile rapper 🙄 He ticked off a bunch of girls for chatting their ear off on this but not buying dances. That and spitting while talking lol.
Luckily, being warned about this, I faster hustled two dances off him under the guise of “oh idk if I’d be good enough for your friend’s video. Why don’t we get some dances and you tell me if I am” And I knew how I was going to act before sitting with him.
Ataboy says —>“Dancer [sits down next to me]:So what brings you here tonight?”
That is so open ended and makes it even EASIER to let her down easy. If you wanted to dole out flattery, you could say...
“Long stressful day. Just getting a couple of drinks to start relaxing before I’m able to better appreciate pretty girls like you later 😉”
I personally don’t like asking too many open ended questions to customers myself for that very reason lol.
This way she was let down on grounds that he just didn’t have the money. She’s can’t be ugly no that can’t be it. Yet again I save the day.
Of course it does make it a little awkward when I taking an actual hot dancer to VIP 10 minutes later but it’s a new paperless instant world. I just got paid at midnight so what?
If you don’t want a dance from a female hairless ape just say “scuttle of you ugly ape. I want to defile a hottie!”
Scuttle! Scuttle! Scuttle!
Do you apes know how hard using an iPad with claws is? You sped need to design better electronics!
Crab lives matter! Ape lives don’t matter! Unless they are rick apes.
Scuttle! Scuttle! Scuttle!
But in general, if you run off a dancer, you can be making an enemy.
In our underground clubs, the girls don't ask, they just do. So it works better just to play along with them.
In future travels, and in places like TJ where FS is clearly standard, I will want to pick and approach myself. But if a girl is highly aggressive, I think best to try and err on the side of going along with her.
It is not wrong to say no, but when young women are really extending themselves, I think it best to accommodate if at all possible.
So if you see one you want, I would say, move immediately. I helps with the esprit de corps.
SJG
In my experience, if I bother saying something after I said no, she will walk off because she does not care. It’s always the same dancer at Baby Dolls.
Also at Baby Dolls, I told a dancer I was waiting on someone else. Her response was “I hope she never comes”
Not giving an explanation eliminates that kind of behavior.
And while I don't often club outside my area very often, I've never had too much trouble getting girls to notice me after declining one or more of them.
I personally spend the extra 20 seconds to take the rejection graciously, and introduce myself briefly anyways before walking away. Just in case he has a friend that shows up or something.
That is an example of a club where, even if you *are* being a jerk, plenty of dancers aren’t going to hear about it.
That being said, a “come back later” probably won’t work too well either. She might—but the chances are against you when there’s too many other customers in the room.
I don't mean buying dances, that is a chump's game. Rather, engaging with her.
SJG
Again, the more forward the girl is being, the more important I think it is to engage with her.
"Wanna dance" is not being very forward.
For those who want to denigrate the women who dance in strip clubs, then best not to even go to such clubs.
SJG
As long as you aren't a rude jerk - if you approach her later when you feel ready/like it; much more often than not they will be receptive and interested in doing dances.
You are the one with money.
I've only had a few times where I told girls no thanks where they stood around asking why I'm not getting dances. Baby Dolls Dallas years ago, actually. I simply said hey I'm not interested to them but they ran their mouths. Even then at most it was amusing and pathetic to watch them. Yawn.
But if a girl approaches you, there is nothing wrong about that.
As far as how to respond, I still say that it depends on how forward she is being. If it is extreme, I think it better to find it in your heart to engage with her.
But that does not mean directly buying dances, as that is always a chump's game. It means front room friendliness.
SJG
One of my favorite rants on StripperWeb was a girl complaining about customers saying "I'll find you later". The OP stripper is complaining that that gives the customer all the power -- HE will find HER, so he gets to choose. You can watch the thread as the girls are spinning themselves up, getting increasingly outraged that a customer would say "I'll find you later", and making up all kinds of lines to say back to take their power back; "Well, I'll probably be too busy later", etc. It was the most interesting display of low self esteem power dynamics, along with girls competing to be the peacock with the baddest attitude. And THAT is why I still love reading SW!
But if the girls approaches you, how forward is she being? I think that makes a huge difference in whether or not you really need to engage with her.
SJG
Baby Dolls is a massive club with a high volume of both dancers and customers. A lot of customers skew blue collar, but thanks to sheer foot traffic, there are exceptions.
Some girls will target those exceptions and get customers to buy a bottle and sell out time blocks to customers. But otherwise, it’s a lapdance factory club for sure.
Dayshift 60-100 girls. Nightshift I think is 100-150?
Maybe she was complaining because he led her on in some kind of way acting as if he was going to buy but then not? Otherwise, that’s ridiculous.
But then again, I do remember reading a post on tumblr once on how a girl said everytime a customer auto rejected her before she could even get a word in, she would sit with him and talk to him just because she wanted to make him feel as awkward and uncomfortable as possible. Which seemed like a very odd way to waste one’s time away from the money but whatever.
Unless it is just because with so many dancers, then there really are no rules.
SJG
I'm more likely to move onto a different club if one is nearby than drop sympathy dances these days, but I did get two dances at this horrible dive somewhere between Ottawa and Montreal because the other customers were talking so horribly about the one girl dancing at the bar. She was heavyset and not my type at all, but she was friendly and interesting even though it was obvious when I walked in that she was hating life and hoping I just turned around and walked out instead of saying something rude and dismissive. I make no bones about interacting with 80% of dancers I meet as sex objects, because 80% of them interact with me like a walking wallet. But some I meet and connect with on a different level, and some others I run into that I just feel like being kind to because it's apparent that they need a little something at that moment and I'll have 1000 other chances to make a club visit all about me.
Or hoodrats that live in Atlanta. Or Greenville. Or Huntsville. Or Memphis. Or Fayetteville. Or all kinds of other places guys who hang out in fancy San Francisco clubs will probably never see. Bitches get bitter, and that matters when a whole town only has two decent strippers and more than two clubs. lol.
"This part I don't agree with as much, Bav; for me you've over-rotated a bit. You might have been using hyperbole, but if not, I've never had a stripper leave me mid-sentence." I think I just covered this up above, but I've also had strippers get straight up pissed for all kinds of reasons and storm off. The last time it happened she texted me about a month a later and asked if I wanted to see her again. I did, but have gone way over my quota for crazy this year so passed on the offer.
And? If she's a sow, then the sooner that it sinks into her head that guys don't find her attractive on stage, the sooner she'll stop double fisting Little Debbie snack cakes and do something about it. Or she'll find a more suitable profession. Either way it benefits all concerned because being a club can't be making her much money anyway. It's not my job to coddle a self-deluded girl who should already know better.
But it costs me nothing to be respectful by default, in and out of the strip club setting.
Ask any two year old.
@Rick you did write this paragraph, did you not, so all I’m going by is what you actually stated.
>And? If she's a sow, then the sooner that it sinks into her head that guys don't find her attractive on stage, the sooner she'll stop double fisting Little Debbie snack cakes and do something about it. Or she'll find a more suitable profession. Either way it benefits all concerned because being a club can't be making her much money anyway. It's not my job to coddle a self-deluded girl who should already know better.<
But still, that was not a desirable position to be in, and the outcome was not desirable either.
Best if you can identify the girl you want and then approach her yourself.
If a girl does approach you, she is not doing anything wrong. But you will have to decide quickly how involved with her you want to be.
If possible, an affirmative decision is nice. But even failing that, there might be slicker ways to brush her off.
SJG
I'm reminded of countless scifi shows where everyone is terrified about matter and antimatter coming into contact...
SJG
The OP was plainly posting about just saying no, not being an ahole about-it; yet many on-here immediately started w/ the "oh you have to be nice to her" blah blah blah "you gotta understand what they go thru" blah blah blah which in my PL-opinion screams at me that many PLs *do* feel uncomfortable just saying "no" or "no thanks" and have to come up with all sorts of elongated explanations and "try extra hard to be nice" as if just saying no or no-thanks is somehow "not nice" - man the fuck-up you manginas - reality is they don't give a shit about you "being nice" they just want you to spend on them out of your own volition or "they are gonna help you along" by using all your excuses and "nice talk" against you to make your wallet submit.
As far as I'n concerned (w/ the obligatory "with some exceptions" since we have so many studs on TUSCL whose faves find them too irresistible to not wanna talk to them forever for free); as far as I'm concerned dancers "wanna talk" so they can close the sale and get you to spend - me spending extra-time "to be nice" is not really giving them what they want and in fact may be counterproductive vs a "no thanks I'm good" - to me engaging them in convo and then saying no anyway is just a waste of time and effort for both parties (unless for those life-of-the-party types that like to talk anyone up just for the sake of convo/interaction).
I just use the short-and-simple "no thanks I'm good" and of course anything said w/ a smile or at least a neutral-face vs an angry or stern/frustrated look is always best whether dealing w/ a stripper or not.
I often see-guys snuggle w/ a dancer and embrace etc then say no anyway - to me I feel I'm leading-her-on and doing more harm than just saying no-thanks - depends on my mood I usually "head them off at the pass" and don't allow them to sit on me b/f I tell them "I'm good" - sometimes I won't be as militant "about my PL space (lap)", and sometimes they just sneak onto my lap b/f I can put up the PL-gate but even if they sit on my lap I avoid touching them at all if I am not interested as to not "give them the wrong impression".
Be polite about it and everything should be OK, though occasionally a dancer may not take no for an answer, be polite and firm.
I treat people with respect by default. But I'm never going to do pity dances. Not my thing. But if that's your thing, have at it. It's not my place to tell you you're having fun wrong.
My comment was just a general-comment w.r.t. the OP; it wasn't directed at you.
But to your point - earlier-on in my PL-career I often "felt bad" for dancers not making $$$ - reality is that is not something I can fix, nor should I really try to, IMO.
1) I'm not loaded ($$$) to be in a position to be a financial white-knight for dancers not making $$$; I spend enough $$$ as it is on the dancers I *do* like to then be spending extra $$$ on dancers I feel sorry for
2) I am not really fixing their dilemma and may be perhaps enabling a bad situation
Not saying one should not do it; just expressing my PL-journey from white-knight to PL-practicality; per my personal view-point.
The best I'll do is sometimes get dances from dancers I'm kinda on the fence about - but that is usually dependent on the cost of the dances - if dances are $25+ then I'm def more picky w/ whom I get dances from and will often bypass dancers I may be on the fence-about.
Also - there's often a bit of "no good deed shall go unpunished" when one is a white-knight in strip-clubs - i.e. it can result in said-dancer latching on to you every time you come in the club either b/c she incorrectly assumes you do like her or b/c she knows/feels she can get $ from you.
Buying dances and paying for sex are always chump games.
But getting a girl off script and outside the club can be good!
Don't need to feel like you are giving money to charity.
Ways to get a girl outside of the normal envelope. And if she is approaching you herself, she would probably be amenable to such.
SJG
I'm going to mix metaphors and add that I have a lot of ways to check down out of a play and not tip, but don't feel like writing them out now. This whole thing has broken out into yet another yes or no absolute discussion when there's clearly nuance involved. I'm way past being sorry about sharing what works for me, and TUSCL will be a much better place when all the regular contributors can just agree to disagree on something (and the noobs can stop apologizing for having an opinion). But in the meantime I'll just lol and keep right on keeping on. Spending a few bucks here and there for the sake of convenience (or unexpected help finding what I want) is just that.
The issue is, how forward is she being?
SJG
White Girl
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3e4KTTyF…
The B-52's - "Rock Lobster" (Countdown 1980)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2VCCiY17…
the B-52's - Give Me Back My Man
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hl_EEpRf…
The B-52's - Roam (Official Music Video)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNwC0sp-…
The B-52's - Rock Lobster (Official Music Video)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4QSYx4w…
The B 52s With the Wild Crowd! Live In Athens, GA 2011 (real good)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBpYsS5V…
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_B-52%2…
Garbage - Stupid Girl (Live "Album De La Semaine" 2012) ( real good)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oi5tsVZW…
I remember you wrote an article (or discussion) about not being an asshole or a pussy.
It might be time to revisit the subject.
Down here in Miami some of the clubs have tip-parades that are out of control - many of the dancers in those clubs will circulate the club ALL NIGHT LONG asking for tips, not just when they get off stage (it's basically a racket) - subsequently on a busy shift you will get approached by 4 to 6 girls in the course of ONE SONG asking you for a tip - some of them will give you a little grind and let you touch them a bit; others just stand beside you and just ask for a tip - if you say no some of them just walk away, others look at you like if you have some type of problem; others will cause you out or give you a dirty-look; others will nag you until you tip them something.
If one sits back and observes one will see guy after guy continuously reaching into his pocket b/c apparently they either can't say no or don't know any better - I was at one such club a year+ ago w/ a local TUSCLer who is a young early-20s guy - we met at a Miami tip-parade club and we were talking about the tip-parade - I only tipped the dancers I liked and that I could feel-up some; he tried doing the same-thing but couldn't and would tip every girl that came-up - when I looked at him w/ a look of "what are you doing (after I'd had a talk w/ him about the tip parade)" he just looked at me and said "I couldn't do it (i.e. he couldn't say no although he didn't wanna tip her)".
For w/e reason many SCers feel just saying no or no-thanks to a stripper is somehow being "not nice" and subsequently end-up spending $$$ they don't want to spend on dancers they don't want to spend it on.
Is there an award for most replies in a Front Room discussion thread?
As Papi mentioned several times. My ONLY point was for those who feel obligated to tip a buck (or 20) just because a stripper asks, it's ok to say no. It's also ok to say yes. I don't really care.
But don't worry that she will be mad, disappointed, channel all of her daddy issues to you, swear a vendetta for your death, start taking drugs or drinking (that ship has already sailed), tell your boss/wife/priest/children what a loser you are, or quit the business and become a nun just because you didn't give her a dollar. She'll just go looking elsewhere.
Your personal motivations to help, save, anger, love, ignore, fuck or forget her are irrelevant. Just decide what you want to do and if it's not give her tip, then dont' give her a tip.
When I see a homeless person on the street, smelling of piss and vomit, I might give them a dollar, but I usually don't. Strippers (usually) smell better and (insert whatever joke you want here), so do whatever teh fuck you want. Just don't be too much of pussy to say no if you want to say no.
No we don't!!!
See what I did there? :p
SJG
Garbage - Stupid Girl (live Paris)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oi5tsVZW…
Only Happy When It Rains
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owJtc4DN…
Live On Letterman
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pISRHOFi…
I Think I'm Paranoid and Push It
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4RPKqo1…
Push It
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVjEu_NY…
The World Is Not Enough
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jy5xQwIV…
san_jose_guy - commonly referred to as SJG this forum member is usually mocked or ignored, his comments should NOT be taken in any way as legitimate
"I find your lack of faith disturbing..." - D. Vader
"Who the bigger fool? The fool, or the fool who follows the fool?" - B. Kenobi
NOTICE: You are hereby banned from trolling on my threads by calling out other accounts you claim are trolls.
(I'm sure THAT will fix the problem and he will never post again.)
No excuses that way I can change my mind if haven't seen her a$$ yet.
I am a huge believer in "no excuses", and emphasized that in the article I wrote years ago. You don't owe her an excuse, they are unnecessary, and IME in 99% of cases, people make excuses because they're scared, even if just a little, about how she'll react.
Great article.
No fear, just say no, no excuses.
If a girl does approach you, that is still good. But you will have to decide. Best not to waste their time.
My position though is that while you have the right to decline, it is better if you don't have to. Best not to spread negative vibes.
And then I would also consider just how forward the girl is being. I do think it is important to try and protect their feelings. And if a girl is being forward enough, I think it best if one can find some way to accommodate.
SJG
SJG