GPS stories
This topic is for posting personal experiences. Sort of like the “shit strippers say” but more related to some of the more over the top entitled things you have seen or dealt with.
Since there’s been plenty of extra crankiness on the board lately, I expect to find some good stories on here. ;)
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I’ll start:
A customer wanted to withdraw money from the ATM on a busy night. So I led him over there, and stood back a certain distance to let him do his thing in peace.
Another customer went over and waited behind him, for his turn to use the ATM. The dancer he walked over with stood next to me.
She rolled her eyes and told me “ugh. I can’t believe I have to wait for this. Time is money y’know.”
Since there’s been plenty of extra crankiness on the board lately, I expect to find some good stories on here. ;)
—
I’ll start:
A customer wanted to withdraw money from the ATM on a busy night. So I led him over there, and stood back a certain distance to let him do his thing in peace.
Another customer went over and waited behind him, for his turn to use the ATM. The dancer he walked over with stood next to me.
She rolled her eyes and told me “ugh. I can’t believe I have to wait for this. Time is money y’know.”
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I was a little surprised at what she said and didn’t say anything. Plus my customer was done soon after.
Her: You should give me $20.
Me: Why?
Her: Because I’m a pretty girl.
Me: Does the pretty girl do anything to eat $20 besides be pretty?
Her: No, of course not.
Me: Then I suggest you go be pretty for someone else.
Her: What are you even here for if you’re not going to spend money?
She then flounced over to a bouncer and obviously complained about me. Said bouncer said something I couldn’t hear, and rolled his eyes at me when she walked away.
Me... Do you have a joke for me?
Dancer... No, I don't do jokes
Me...why not?
Dancer... Because I'm an ENTERTAINER...
ME... Well then, tell some jokes and entertain me
I had one dancer tell me I should be buying dances from her, because everybody who comes to the club is there for the dancers. I had to explain to her that it’s a two way street, that the only way the dancers make money is if there are customers walking through the door, so actually everyone working I the club is there for the customers.
She thought about it and responded,”No it’s not that way!” Whatever....smh
She bumps into me while walking through the club... i knew lots of dancers and other staff including management well
Dancer... we need to go back there (vip)
Me... no
Dancer... why not
Me.... because I am causing trouble
Dancer... why, what are you doing
Me... I hand her a couple hershey kisses
Dancer... what is this?
Me... I am giving out free kisses today... but I charge for hugs though
Dancer... are you trying to drug me?
Me... no, just causing trouble
Dancer.... I am going to tell the manager you tried to drug me.
Me... ooooh really, Mike is going to laugh his ass off
Dancer... so now you are name dropping
Me... Go ahead tell Mike. I walk away.
One bouncer laughed when he heard the story and said I guess everyone is going to be flying in a minute because everyone was eating the kisses
Later I thought if I had it to do over I would have told her I was going to tell you a joke that is so funny it will make your tits fall off, but apparently you already heard it too many times. (She was flat like a surfboard) then tell her I was going to offer to fuck her brains out, but someone beat me to that also...
Several dancers I told this story to, told me to go back and tell her the last bit. The oppertunity had passed so I never did.
Last time I was in Atlanta, I decided to check out Magic City Strip Club because I have heard a lot about it.
I only came with about $200 around 11:30 PM, entry was free on that particular night and after getting pat down I proceeded inside.
I was stunned. I have never seen that amount of Unclad women dancing at same time.
There were at least about twenty (20) dancers mostly Black Americans with Big Booty.
They Lighting was dim so it took me some time to re adjust my eyes.
Went to the bar and ordered for some drinks while drinking I took time to scope out which girls I wanted to get lap dances from.
Immediately I saw a fine Latina walking by me, I pulled her aside and told her I wanted some lap dances she obliged and started. This chick was at least a solid 8 and very beautiful although she had a fake boob.
The dances were mediocre at best and she wouldn't let me touch her. I tried to touch her boobs but she kinda pushed my hands away. After about five lap dances I decided to cut my losses short and let her go.
I paid her about $100 for the lap dances.
I was getting ready to leave because it was almost 1:00AM but I convinced myself to stay a little longer because I was enjoying the Acrobatic Pole dances by the strippers.
While I was enjoying the show somebody tapped my back and when I turn around it was tall black stripper she asked me if I wanted a lap dance I said yes.
Immediately she dragged me to the back of the stage where it was completely dark. Before I could say anything this chick was already massaging my dick. I had to tell her to slow down because I was about to cum in my pants.
I told her I didn't have enough money because I already gotten some lap dances earlier but she convinced me to use the ATM and withdraw more money that I would have a good time.
I decided to withdraw $200 more and ended up paying $20 Fee for using the ATM inside the Strip Club.
During our dance, unlike the Latina Stripper this Black Stripper didn't complain during our dances as I would occasionally grab her boobs during my lap dances. Then she would also occasionally grab my dick with her hands and massage it while dancing.
She said something that threw me off, towards the end of my dance she asked me if I wanna have sex & I pretended as if I didn't hear her and she repeated same thing and I said how much she said $800, then she came down to $600 and that she was willing to meet up at my hotel room at the end of her shift.
I told her that $600 was expensive and the maximum I was willing to spend was $300 but she never agreed for that Price. This Strippers was a 6 at best and there was no way she could command such high prices.
No Escort & No Stripper should be paid more $500/hr for Sex including the Girlfriend Experience. Anything more than $500/hr is definitely GPS.
The highest amount I have ever paid for sex to an escort was $400 for two hours and two nuts. This particular escort was a Latina and a solid 9. Besides she was way above my league and there was no way I could hit that pussy without dropping some Dollar Bills.
Me: "Ok so wow that is more than I will pay but thanks so much for letting me know up front. The going rate for me is $25/1 not including a tip. I'd love to get dances with you for that rate."
GPS stripper: "Sorry but that's my rate."
Me: "Sorry, but that's my rate too. It's been nice meeting you but no thanks on the dance."
GPS stripper: "Ok bye."
We parted ways.
“ Then I suggest you go be pretty for someone else. ”
Honorable mention to crazyjoe
“tell her I was going to offer to fuck her brains out, but someone beat me to that also... ”
Her: Is this your first time here?
Me: No
Her: Really? I haven’t seen you before
Me: I was here last month
Her: Well anyway, are you here for some fun?
Me: Yes
Her: OK. It is $400 for oral, or $500 for oral and sex.
Me: I don’t pay that much
Her: I can give you a first time discount, oral and sex for $350. What do you say?
Me: That’s still too high
Her (as she is walking away): Let me know if you change your mind.
Let’s see, why would I pay $350 when the previous time, a girl hotter than her agreed to do it for $200?
Or an overnight with either of them, doing anything I want.
Always treat all women in a 100% civilian manner, in all situations.
SJG
Steely Dan Live 2006 Charlotte
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQXobc4A…
I’m slightly dissapointed by this thread, lol. Aside from some really good stuff by georgemicrodong and crazyjoe, the GPS stuff here is tame.
Not dismissing others stories of GPS, it just seems kind of tame to me :p
And true. I guess we all have all erred on the side of bragging on ourselves before with customers. Especially when they want to lowball you.
@sirlap So the clubs there are one the dancers set prices?
Dances were $20/song grind only & no extras. These girls earned a lot, but I always thought it was very superficial and uptight to have that mentality. I approach dancing differently and have monthly goals instead of nightly goals and try to get whatever I could and not turn down dances or be rude to customers (those girls would actually laugh at customers to their face and walk away from them).
But overall strippers here will stick with the house rates. I get better rates for being a frequent flyer (and LOL of course an awesome masseuse).
Me: "Five hundred..." (Pause) "thousand."
Customer: "What?"
Me: "Five hundred thousand dollars, and I'm all yours."
Yeah, better to do it on strip club forums.
And yes, it is better to do it on strip club forums, as opposed to when I'm actually focused on WORKING.
1 week later she was doing a threesome with me and a regular OTC friend from the same club. Life is good
I firmly believe, to be successful in this profession, you need to adapt to the changing times, customers, and overall demographics and theh never did.
And no, I don't mean Global Positioning System.
Had a girl offer it up for $1,000 one time. I looked at her and said, “I’ll assume that’s your way of saying no without actually saying no.”
She replied with “Basically. Not that I’d be stupid enough to turn you down if you’d agreed.”
This is fapworthy.
German potato salad?
I didn’t even know there *was* another kind of potato salad until I was about 10. First time I saw what most people think of as potato salad, I was like, “WTF is this? Where’s the vinegar? The bacon? Why is it cold?”
ME: I'll buy you a drink. What are you drinking?
HER: I only drink champagne.
-
HER: wanna dance?
ME: Sure! ---> (wanna dance was more common back then)
HER: You gotta pay up-front. --> (but pre-pay is not the norm)
HER: [proceeds to do some sort of liberal-arts "interpretative floor dance" a/k/a air dance including handstands in front of me and somersaults]
ME: [I stop after 1]
Wtf...???
In fact, from my first experiences in strip clubs I learned that things go very positive, once the girl sees that I am not trying to do that, but rather instead am engaging with her in a completely civilian manner.
SJG
SJG
ha ha - not your GPS fault when you ask it to take you to the nearest dive
Frankly, he should have been kicked out for doing that after knowing it wasn't allowed, but she also knows better. I never expect a club to side with dancers, so I was entertained with the bitchfest. But it was a lot bitching about guys touching during dances, etc.
CMI: "If we do a VIP, are extras on the menu?"
DANCER: "What are you interested in?"
CMI: "Everything. Full service, if that works for you."
DANCER (thinking): "How does $1200 sound?"
CMI: "It sounds like you've forgotten how to say 'no'."
Though I get the impression that as long as the customer isn’t one of the managers’s “friends”, they wouldn’t care too much.
The funniest one started at $600 and after a few visits of hell fuckinass no, but I admire your spunk, she went all crazy Lamar and got herself down to $300.
Her: [small talk]
Me: [small talk]
Her: So you want to do a VIP?
Me: I don't know, what would happen in VIP that isn't happening now or with a lap dance?
Her: [whispering] I will give you a BJ for (200-300) or anything you want for (400-500)
Me: Seems pretty steep, does that actually work for you at this club?
Her: I'll make sure you're satisfied
Me: Too much
Her: OK I can do 150 for BJ and 300 for everything
This is where it basically ends, because those rates are on top of the VIP room which depending on the club will be anywhere from 100-200 for just 15 minutes. If I wanted an escort experience, I would skip the club and get an escort and still be paying less.
I have gotten way lower for VIP extras than these GPS girls throw out. They must get those rates, though, or else they wouldn't quote them? I can't see how they make any more than a girl willing to do the range for 50-150 who can turn out 4 or 5 guys a night and pull 300-500 for the night on extras without all the haggling BS.
Typically my response to this is I am going to spend money but since it is my money I am going to spend it how I see fit-not how you think I should spend it.
If there is another girl someplace close by typically at that time to drive my point home I then approach her and at the very least offer to buy her a drink.
Yup, had one gal few years back. Asks for dances. Nope, not interested. Will you buy me a drink? Why would I do that if I'm not interested? Well, can I at least get a cigarette or a dollar from you? At this point I started laughing as if she deserved something from any male who she approached and she walked off muttering under her breath.
You reminded me of another story on that.
One time, towards the beginning of the night and it was super slow. I saw a customer obviously looking in one direction. I walked over and said “hey there, you looked really focused on something”
He said “yes, it’s that one over there”
He points at a girl who is one of the vip only girls who stares at the entrance looking for a customer.
I tell him, “wonderful. I’ll tell her you’re interested. Can you help me out a little?” He happily tipped me $4 to go to her.
So I told this dancer “the guy tipped me to come up to you, and getting a lap dance off him would be almost guaranteed.” She rolls her eyes, and looks away from me.
Like, I realize the customer is a young dude and likely not a cabana customer...but shit it would have been easy money, and who knows there’s the off chance he’s a trust fund kid who could have gotten a cabana.
Her: Sorry, I don’t do lap dances before 2.
Me: (looking around at the empty club, smirking a little bit) Ok.
Her: It’s just not worth it.
Me: Ok.
Her: You think that’s funny?
Me: Well, I’m the only guy in the club, and you’re turning down $25 (single song price) because it’s not $150. And I’m one of those guys who decides to do VIP or not based on the lap dance, you’re losing even the possibility of that $150.
Her: (shrugs)
I left around 9 and came back around midnight. Got a few dances and did some stage tipping. Also did one or two 15 minute dances. 2 o’clock rolls around and about quarter after, the same girl approaches me.
Her: Ready to do that lap dance now?
Me: Sorry, I don’t do lap dances after 2...
Yeah, it was a dick move, and I probably should have taken her up on it. She was at that point the single hottest girl in a club full of hotties, but the attitude just rubbed me the wrong way.
In a somewhat of a twist though, I was in the same club a month or so later, again around 7-8, when she approached me.
Her: You were right, I was being dumb.
Me: Well, I’m sorry for the snarky comment.
Her: (turns to walk away)
Me: So, how about a lap dance.
Her: Sure.
She turned out to be a nice girl. No sex ever, but a hot body she didn’t mind being groped.