Do I cut this PL? (Long.. sorry)

119 comments

• skibum609

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  6 years ago

  He didn't know what happened? He passed out and somehow ended up getting and paying for dances while unconscious? He seems a little timid and let himself be "won" by another. $20 tip? If he was really sorry he'd have done dances with you or at least asked. Having said that, if he spends and the club has slow times keep him on the roster, but more like a back up, than a focal point.
• Ch3ll

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  6 years ago

  As a PL I don't see what he did wrong. He was probably excited or thought this girl that came over was about to do something special. He probably didn't know how to handle the situation eloquently. Being that he came back to you with a tip of $20 says alot. I could see if y'all had arranged for that day/night then that would have been a diss to you, but in my opinion he just in the moment wanted to try something else.
• max_starr

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  6 years ago

  I have girls come and try to take me away, but my atf is pretty damn aggressive at defending....that being said, I'm not exactly shy myself so I am not going to let another girl just grab me either (unless of course she is off, which happened last night).....I think you need to train this guy a little about what he should do if he really wants you first...like tell those vultures to buzz off. I am a sucker, I will buy the other girls drinks, but I'm not going to get dances from them while I'm still with my current atf....Though would love to talk with someone about her sometime as well....I think I got a little to close with her and her personal life, I really need to feel out if I'm just a custie or if she's expecting me to do something....I'm married and I can't do much for her other than feed her money...So in all likelyhood, I'm good and she's not expecting more... But I hear things like, I'm living with so and so now...because the bf hit me for the 2nd time...and she's mentioned this twice... anyway sorry to interject my shit in there...give this guy another chance and talk with him, that's my 2 cents.
• Chili Palmer

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  6 years ago

  It would be foolish to cut him. Doesn't seem like an asshole, just probably trying to avoid a scene and doesn't have the balls to say no to another dancer who approaches him. Some people are extremely adverse to confrontation, and he appears to fit that mold. I'd say next time you see him, stake your claim first by handing him your top and asking him to hold onto while you finish your stage set. That should be enough of a red flag to the other dancers to stay away until you've gotten your share of his wallet. CP
• l00ber

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  6 years ago

  I read this thread bc the title led me to believe someone would pull a blade.
• gothamyte

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  6 years ago

  i agree w/ ch3ll: 'he tipped you $20. says alot'. to me every single visit to the SC is a new day / new canvas. i try to give all dancers a fresh start every time i go.
• Cashman1234

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  6 years ago

  He seems to be well liked in your club (as you mentioned), which means he’s not an asshole. That’s a good quality. He definitely wants to avoid confrontation, and that’s not a bad quality either. I’d give him another chance.
• max_starr

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  6 years ago

  LOL @l00ber - sounds like a couple crazy strippers I know...."I'll shank you"
• Huntsman

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  6 years ago

  Bj, it’s hard to be confident in a response here because you’re on the other side of the g-string. In other words, I might be giving the worst damn advice possible. My thought is that you should choose between your dignity and your bank account. And then don’t second guess the choice. I don’t think either choice would be wrong. You’ve stripped for assholes before and put up with both customer and stripper bullshit before. You’ve also told people to fuck off before, sweetly or directly. Think about it overnight and then go with your gut.
• shadowcat

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  6 years ago

  What happened to the dancer creed of not approaching a customer that is sitting & talking to another dancer? You should rip her eyes out and not hold anything against him.
• stripfighter

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  6 years ago

  So you're looking to cut a custie for acting in the exact same way you did?? and he seems like a decent guy?? Doesn't make sense to. You talk about awkward situations, and I'm sure it was just as awkward for him as it was for you. Neither one of yall obviously handle confrontation well, but at least he had the awareness to come and try to make it up to you. I say give him some slack. But maybe that's just me.
• Bj99

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  6 years ago

  The guy is well liked, but he only spends an 60-80. I prolly made more at the table I moved to. He’s well liked bc he’s very pleasant, and easy. @ skibum, I know you wouldn’t let a girl be so disrespectful. I have to admit that I didn’t stick around to see how he would handle it, and I immediately went to another table.. he still should have dismissed her, but I guess he does care how girls treat him. :P I’ll prolly talk to him ab it, if he approaches me again, and not go out of my way to get to him otherwise. @ huntsman, I honestly think having some dignity, and respect, earns me some of the best customers. I just don’t want to be spiteful or over sensitive either. @ shadowcat.. right??! What a stupid bitch. She’ll try that shit on the wrong girl sooner or later.
• stripfighter

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  6 years ago

  .... Unless you're going for the Dog-house hustle outta him. (putting him on your bad side and having him try to make it up to you)
• rattdog

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  6 years ago

  i'm going to assume that the 20 bucks he gave you he wouldn't do ever do that for another girl. that guy giving you 20 bucks means he does not want to lose you and that you are his fave. just warn that other bitch to never ever pull that kind of stunt again or there will be repercussions (whatever these may be are up to you). next time you see that guy just go up to him, start all over as new and forget about that situation. waste of time and energy to remain upset over shit.
• joeblow44

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  6 years ago

  @shadowcat My thoughts exactly!! The other dancer shouldn't be cutting in on Bj99's action.
• Bj99

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  6 years ago

  @ stripfighter. I kinda agree. I should have stood my ground, but then she was talking ab tho they had an appointment. I prolly should have waited to see what he’d do.
• anon4231

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  6 years ago

  Reading this, it sounds like you didn't wait for (or ask for) a cue from him. i.e. "Oh, sorry, were you wanting to get dances from her? I assumed that since you sat with me..." or something to that effect. Now, the lying bitch in question... call it disorientation, drink, or whatever, but you missed one crucial bit - he sat with -you-. Personally, I'd blackball a dancer for pulling a stunt like that, but keep in mind - he might have problems with being assertive as well. Ultimately, I think there's three places to blame - the PL, for not sticking with you when he wanted to at least hang out with you; the dancer who came up, for being a liar; and yourself, for not catching that you got played (as someone who often lacks situational awareness, I fully understand this by the way.) tl;dr: Don't cut him, at least not without giving him another chance. Seems like he's one of those "good customers," especially since he dropped you a $20 - if he's as much of a regular as you implied, you'd just be losing a potential good income stream for a single incident.
• theDirkDiggler

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  6 years ago

  I think your issue is more with the other dancer than with the PL. She was the one that was acting shady and duplicitous. If she "stole" a customer from you right under your nose, she could try again with similar methods. Unless literally all of your other customers are really regulars only waiting for you, or you're only interested in regulars but don't really feel like trying to make new ones. I personally think it's a little strange that you didn't try to sit with him again after all that, unless he was seemingly "always busy" with another girl either in the back or at a table but you said it was slow, unless you became busy after that.
• anon4231

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  6 years ago

  (obviously lots of other stuff was posted while I was writing, but hey - $60-80 is still money. :P)
• Bj99

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  6 years ago

  @ ratdog. That’s a good point. That’s a lot for him to have tipped. It was a nice gesture. @ anon. You are absolutely right. I should have ignored her and looked at him and asked what he wanted. My issue isn’t so much w him, but w him causing me difficulty with other girls. I drop customers all of the time, if they do something wrong. He didn’t do anything that wrong. He just didn’t do it right, but then neither did I.
• Bj99

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  6 years ago

  @ Dirk, he doesn’t stay long. He got a couple dances from her, tipped me on stage, and left. My main issue is definitely w her, and I’ll handle her in other ways.
• Papi_Chulo

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  6 years ago

  "... I should have stood my ground, but then she was talking ab tho they had an appointment. I prolly should have waited to see what he’d do ..." My thought exactly - you didn't give him much of a choice and kinda bailed on him; he didn't bail on you - so you left him at the mercy of the hyena I can understand not wanting drama; but again you didn't even give him a chance to choose by immediately bailing - it can even come across as you not wanting to be with him that day and were handing him off (not saying you felt that way but can be interpreted that way). You don't have to get in a confrontation w/ another dancer; but if you were already sitting there; then you should have stayed-put and at least give him a chance to choose - both her and the guy came over to you, but you were the first to bail.
• theDirkDiggler

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  6 years ago

  Ah, it sounds like he's not really a big spender and has a pretty strict budget and then he's done. Unless he comes every week or something like that, i wouldn't spend too much time or energy thinking about or being concerned about him. I don't know what you consider PLs doing you wrong is, but from my PL POV, i certainly don't expect anyone working at a strip club to have my back (explained a bit at the end of my most recent article about drunks and ROBs) or any kind of true loyalty. So in turn i don't necessarily feel i owe a stripper anything in terms of defending her or speaking for her. Unless we were genuine friends (although preferably something more than friends ;) or had regular or favorite status in which case i can't see anything like this even happening in the first place. Again, i think it's just a much more messed up situation what the other girl pulled.
• theDirkDiggler

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  6 years ago

  @ Papi Yes, she was more cheetah than lioness. Should have at least been a leopardess and stood her ground against a lone hyena. Love that analogy. A little crude, but it really is like that.
• Bj99

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  6 years ago

  @ Papi, yeah. I’ll have to apologize for that, and explain, even if I kinda cut him loose. @ Dirk, I do expect customers to speak for themselves if a girl does something like that. I really thought he’d set me up by coming and sitting w me, when he had an appointment w her, or was “seeing” her.
• Liwet

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  6 years ago

  I'll say don't bail on him and give him another chance, especially if he tipped you $20 on stage.
• realDougster

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  6 years ago

  The first cut is the deepest
• PaulDrake

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  6 years ago

  A $20 tip from a guy that normally only spends $60-80? Sounds like he is sorry for how he handled the situation. He probably didn't want any drama.
• rogertex

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  6 years ago

  You seem like a dancer that does not have difficulty bagging new customers or being sought by regulars. But several dancers do. Some get desperate enough to break the dancer-code. (Survival. That bitch really needed money). Next time in a similar situation, if you decide to fight it - it won't be for money, but for putting that bitch in place. In practicality, I'd not sweat the small stuff - you went to work that day to make money while staying out of trouble. (There are fights worth fighting, but not this one) I'd definitely not punish the customer by cutting him off, though he does not get the "most favored status". Keep in mind - many customers get their senses numbed seeing lots and lots of beautiful naked women. Two women fighting for a man! This doesn't happen in real life. Not for strip club customers (except maybe Skibum)
• PaulDrake

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  6 years ago

  The one other thought I have is that the $20 tip is a signal that you should at least talk to him. You don't know what is in his head. You are obviously hurt about the way he handled the situation. He might feel completely shitty about it and totally want to apologize to you and maybe even want your council on how to act in the future. Talking to him could end up being super positive for both of you and create a deeper connection.
• PaulDrake

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  6 years ago

  Bj99 - How would you have liked him to act?
• theDirkDiggler

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  6 years ago

  I've never had a situation quite like this. The closest was when a somewhat regular girl (or a girl i've gotten numerous dances from before) approached me while i was sitting with a girl a bit higher, but definitely higher, on the "regular" totem pole. I don't know if she was drunk or having a bad night (on a weekend) and i don't remember exactly what she said. It was something along the line of missing me and hoping to see me. And then she kissed me on the cheek and left as i just stayed put in my seat and was just a little confused as most strippers just don't even stay that long when you're with another stripper. I can understand just saying high and see you later. To be fair, the other girl didn't actually plop down next to me on a different chair and force things along with a bunch of serious negative cat energy. That would have been truly awkward to say the least. I don't honestly know what i would have done in that hypothetical situation and as a PL i certainly wouldn't have liked being put in that situation. And i say that as someone that's generally quite comfortable in strip clubs and around strippers. I prefer to choose on my own terms and not be put on the spot. Anyway, the conclusion to that story was the girl i was sitting with actually asked me (noticeably irritated) "Do you want to go with her?", well after she had left. I don't remember exactly what i said, but something to the effect that i was sitting with her (although she was one of the girls that just sits forever with a regular without asking for a dance which is also awkward) and that it would be rude to leave a girl i was sitting with just like that. I don't think that i said that the other girl was rude for approaching us. I may have been a bit annoyed (or at the very least confused) myself that the girl approached us. Like i was thinking "What are you doing?", but i certainly didn't feel like shaming her when she was basically already setting herself up for rejection. She may have just been tired of waiting for us. I never did see or find that other girl that night, but i think i did a second round of dances with the girl i was sitting with. She had sat with me after coming back from the first round of dances we did. So the other girl may have thought i was done with her or something. So i don't know what exactly you expect a random PL to say in that situation. But i would have probably just sat there (even if i was probably thinking "What are you doing?" like in the above encounter), and i would have expected you to sit there as we were there first, until some question relating to some action was asked by somebody. I mean just the "DJ say you were waiting for me." ? Uh, okay. So? That would be generally a confusing statement to any PL that actually didn't do it. Maybe you expected him to call her out and say i don't remember talking to the DJ. But he could have been slow, or maybe he didn't feel like putting her on the spot if he had previous favorable experiences with her. But i bet he didn't expect you to just up and leave while you were assuming/imagining the worst. Is that really a thing though? Do PLs "set up" other dancers to fail miserably or embarrass themselves? That would be an incredibly douchy thing to do and not something i expect in general from anyone. But from the PL side, i tend to give strippers the benefit of the doubt regarding intent. That is i don't think the worst of them first. Foolish? Maybe. But that doesn't mean that i'll spend large amounts of money without doing my due diligence first though. Now if I was a stripper, no way in hell would i trust another random stripper. They seem to be their worst own enemies. I've seen so many strippers fired or quit because of some other jealous stripper. To me it sounds like you (and to a degree the PL) got played badly by the other girl.
• Bj99

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  6 years ago

  @ roger. I do tend to take the high road w other dancers. Usually, if they are pissing me off, they are fucking up in other ways too, so I just sit back and watch the train wreck. I honestly think he might avoid her in the future, but that’s his business. She got that money this time, but that kind of stunt won’t win her the better customers in the long run. @ Paul. I wish he’d told her that she was rude to interrupt him w another girl, and refused dances w her today. And gotten them w any other girl. I don’t expect him to defend me, or go chase me down, but he didn’t have to reward her.
• Bj99

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  6 years ago

  @ dirk. It was exceptionally cut throat for my club, on day shift.
• ATACdawg

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  6 years ago

  Definitely don't punish him for the other dancer's bad behavior. The fact that he tipped you showed that he regretted the whole incident. She's a ruthess liar and a cheat. If she ever tries that crap on you again, I'd call her on it, and I'd bet that every other dancer in the place as well as management would have your back!
• PaulDrake

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  6 years ago

  @Bj99 Moving forward what do you want from him. He obviously didn't handle the situation well and knows it. And from his tip he probably wants to apologize. It seems like you are hurt. Going forward you can either act like nothing happened or bring it up. Personally I think bringing it up and expressing your feelings about the situation is most likely to end in a resolution that everyone feels good about.
• crazyjoe

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  6 years ago

  Sounds like he was put in just as awkward of a situation as you were. I would blame the other dancer more than the guy. I would give him another chance after talking with him about it and see what happens. You can always cut him off later if it does not go well.
• rh48hr

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  6 years ago

  Most of the answers have been given. I'll just say, I don't think you should drop him. Nice guys are not always easy to find in a strip club
• Papi_Chulo

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  6 years ago

  Many SCers let dancers pretty-much walk all over them and don't like "confrontations" (e.g. many of them pay up when a dancer is outright ROBing them as "to not cause a scene"). When I was a less experienced & not TUSCLarly educated SCer, I would let dancers do as they please even if it wasn't something I agreed with - these days as a confident SCer knowing the SCs well, I won't let dancers get away with things such as barging in when I'm with another dancer b/c it is up to the custy to choose - I think another dancer barging-in is rude mostly to the dancer I'm with and I correct the situation, but I probably would not have done that as a less experienced SCer.
• Cowboy12

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  6 years ago

  He sounds like a nice guy that has trouble speaking up for himself. As a quiet, reserved guy, I used to be the same way in the club, but after being on TUSCL I have learned how to turn away an aggressive dancer. Maybe you should tell him about TUSCL.
• twentyfive

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  6 years ago

  I think you let him down because if he came over to you where you were sitting and told you he wanted to get with you which seems to be the gist of your post, you should not have let the aggressive other girl, just push you away. I think he may be a bit of a lightweight and one of those guys that is intimidated be girls and you might have sort have pushed him by your passivity in the direction he might have been trying to avoid. He needs some assertiveness training but if you like this guy as a customer, your call should have been to ask him if that was what he wanted it might have given him something to grab on to, rather than him thinking you don’t care one way or the other. Hard to say positively because I’m more of an aggressive type but maybe he just lacks confidence.
• GACA

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  6 years ago

  Ya I think the guy is just not rude. Sure he could stand a few lessons on being friendly but firm. Sounds like he's unaware of the politics and isn't just being an ordinary standup guy.
• realDougster

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  6 years ago

  "Do I cut this PL?" Yes. 3 ways - Long, hard, & deep.
• flagooner

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  6 years ago

  In my defense, the girl that came up was a solid 9, and to be honest BJ wasn't exactly fresh yesterday. I've been taking tips from my Millenial friends, and that was my passive aggressive way of letting her know that she wasn't bringing her A game. BTW, it was Jefferson, not Jackson.
• warhawks

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  6 years ago

  @bj, are you guys dating? If no, I don’t see anything wrong with what this guy did. It’s a strip club, not a dating site (well, maybe it is for some of us PLs). Nobody “owns” anyone, dancer or customer. I used to get so annoyed when I’d go to a club and get “claimed” by a dancer. So much so that the other dancers would not approach me because a dancer had laid claim to me. I even had to start going to different clubs for months at a time and wait for the inevitable stripper turnover at my favorite clubs, just so I could meet new girls. That being said, what the girl did wasn’t right. She’s obviously cut throat and most girls have more edicate when a dancer is sitting with a customer.
• mark94

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  6 years ago

  Both BJ and dancer #2 treated the customer poorly. If I were the customer, I’d find another club. But, if he is as weak willed as portrayed, he’ll return for more abuse. Sad, on several levels. Now we know where the phrase Pathetic Loser comes from.
• Cashman1234

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  6 years ago

  Based on Bj99’s replies - I understand more of the situation. Well liked appears to not equate to being a good spender. That’s a negative. Not stepping in and saying that he’s speaking with you - is a sign of disrespect. That’s another negative. The lies the dancer told were inappropriate, and shouldn’t be tolerated. But, that’s not the issue with the customer. I would have handled it differently, but I wasn’t there. Some dancers cause me to focus on them - either by their confidence, their incredible body, or just by their beauty. If I was chatting with you, I’d definitely not want to be interrupted. A dancer butting in would barely get noticed. I don’t like rude and pushy dancers either - so the other dancer would have been brushed aside quickly. However, I’m not a nice guy. Definitely not a sweet clubbing guy. I know what I want, and I don’t want to be interrupted when I see the girl I want. And I’m sure you would be “the girl”
• Dominic77

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  6 years ago

  The customer didn’t get what he wanted. Only dancer #2 got what she wanted. It might have been useful to ask the customer, “is that what you want me to do?” Or “Do you still want me instead of her?” as a lead in to get him to step up to assert himself. Dancer #2 won’t like you doing that but too bad. It isn’t what she wants (to leave you an opening) it’s what the customer wants. Prodding him to get him to assert himself will go along way in assertivity training for him. This is likely 100% of the reason why he’s in the SC to start with. Think about it.
• Bj99

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  6 years ago

  @ Mark, the guy got dances from her, rewarding her for lying and being disrespectful. I don’t appreciate that, and I can cut him if I want. If he doesn’t care, that’s his business.
• Bj99

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  6 years ago

  ^ “@ Warhawks” not mark. Sorry.
• rickdugan

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  6 years ago

  The overall question is weird to me. Sure he should have said something to her if he wanted to be with you and he clearly had no balls. Also, it is entirely possible that he actually did want her more on that particular day, but wants to keep good relations with you too. But either way, why would you "cut" anybody that might pay you on any given day/night? Seriously now, this sounds more like a PL concept than one I would normally see espoused by a dancer. On any given day, I'm assuming that you allocate your time based upon what you believe is in your best economic interests. Why would that change? I could understand if you decided that he is no longer worth ditching another prospect for. But on slow days/nights with few immediate prospects, or if he actively tries to get you over so that he can pay you, why would you not try to take his $$ from him? Now as far as the dancer who came over and conned you into walking away, that is another matter entirely.
• Bj99

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  6 years ago

  @ Mark. I really don’t know if the guy would have appreciated me standing my ground and putting him on the spot, more than me excusing myself. I kinda also think he must tell all of the girls they are his favorites, bc girls rarely interrupt when I’m talking to a customer, but it’s happend a few other times w him.
• Bj99

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  6 years ago

  @ rick. Dancers cut customers for lots of reasons. There’s always other money to get, so why deal with someone I don’t enjoy, or who gets into these situations? That interaction got in my head a little. Girls who are ruthless become closed off, and unhappy, and it shows. It winds up affecting their money in the long run.
• Salty.Nutz

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  6 years ago

  this guy's a chump, why does he still want to give you the opportunity to earn money and tips you 20 when you didnt do anything. you should teach him a leason by allowing him to save money. what a loser, hes a regular, he should know the pecking order in this club, what a dumbass, cut him.
• Huntsman

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  6 years ago

  Bj, as you know, your issue is more with the other stripper than the passive customer. But as to your question, I take a contrary view on here. If you want to cut him off, do so. In any business, we can become so concerned about every possible dollar that we can get as paralyzed as your passive customer did with you yesterday. Firing a customer can sometimes be the best thing you can do for your own soul, whether it seems to make financial sense or not. It can be liberating and you’ll probably not lose money anyway because you will have more of a bounce in your step. I’m also glad flagooner fessed up. I was thinking your thread was about me until he admitted it. And I have to agree with Flag. She was a solid 9 and in her twenties so did you really expect either flag or I to stay with you? I also originally thought your story was a little confused with all the wine you were drinking because I didn’t even bother to tip you later.
• Bj99

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  6 years ago

  @ salty. Good point. He did puss out and get dances from a girl who interrupted him when he’d come and sat w me, and then tip me, and apologize. Does seem like a chump. I get that you are being snarky, but anyone in sales knows that some customers just aren’t worth the problems they cause.
• mark94

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  6 years ago

  There’s a small club I go to in Phoenix, Sugar 44, where drama never happens. My suspicion is that a few veteran dancers enforce the no drama atmosphere. All the dancers are friendly and will ask whether there is anyone you want to see. They seem genuinely happy to notify other dancers that you want them. And, if you treat them well, word spreads quickly among dancers. They look out for each other. In my experience, this atmosphere is pretty rare. I go there almost as a cleansing experience after visits to high hustle clubs.
• Bj99

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  6 years ago

  @ huntsman. I’m afraid of being where I’m not wanted.
• Salty.Nutz

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  6 years ago

  @bj99..you caught me, i was being snarky. i think this guy is walking down the plank on his own. but i guess sometimes the juice isnt worth the squeeze.
• Bj99

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  6 years ago

  The funny thing is, this isn’t the first time a girl has aggressively approached him, while I was with him. It’s pretty rare at my club, and I’m one of the more popular girls w customers, so most girls don’t assume my customer would rather be w them. I think he must tell all of the girls they are his favorite, or something. Maybe he feels like it gets him better dances.
• pensionking

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  6 years ago

  He entered your club and immediately joined you. You allowed your co-worker to push you off him. That is completely on you. How is he supposed to know if you did or didn't have a signal with her to help you get away from him? Your job is to make him feel special. In slinking away meekly, you failed him in this regard. He may have accurately interpreted your weakness as indifference -- you didn't care enough about him to stand your ground. He is not your boyfriend. He owes you no loyalty to ditch the other bitch -- he is the customer. As far as I am concerned, his tipping you $20 is way, way above and beyond what is necessary. It may sound harsh, but I would say you need to grow up and grow a pair and defend your station. It isn't catty. it isn't snarky. It is business. Same shit happens in department stores when one clerk rings up a sale cultivated by another associate. If they all receive commission, then it is called stealing. Look, there are only bullies and victims. Which you gonna be??? If you cannot find a way to pleasantly defend your territory, you may face a lifetime of being taken advantage of. Consider this an opportunity to improve yourself and make yourself happy, first. If I were you, I would nip that shit in the bud and let your co-worker know you won't tolerate what she did to you. What SHE did to YOU!
• SirLapdancealot

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  6 years ago

  @Bj99 you just got 'snaked' by the other dancer. She played you by claiming the DJ said the customer was waiting on her. As to the customer, it sounds like he is wishy washy with you and all strippers. I wouldn't drop him, but I also would no longer rely on his word. Next time you sit with him, I would simply ask him if he's really sure that he wants you and not anyone else...
• georgmicrodong

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  6 years ago

  @Bj99, I’m afraid I’m going to have to pile on with the crowd and assign to you some of the culpability here. Not all, and not even a majority, but some. By your own admission, you left while he was saying something, which *might* have been a “huh?” or even something on the order of “WTF are you talking about, bitch” to thenother girl, if he were more assertive. When you got up and immediately sat with someone else, he might have assumed you were pissed, and if he’s the non-assertive type you portray, he wasn’t going to go to someone else’s table to get you back. Now, he absolutely should have smacked (figuratively) the other girl down for her behavior. At the *very* least, told her no thanks. But if he though you were pissed, he might have decided to salvage what he could, especially if the other girl was one he’d seen, or wanted to see, before. Of course, the bulk of the blame lies with the cunt who just up and tried to cut you out. You might want to gently explain to him that he’s free to call the girls out on their asshole behavior when something like that happens.
• flagooner

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  6 years ago

  I say don't let your pride get in the way. I'd just stop giving him any preferential treatment and not approach him. If he approaches you and asks for a dance, why not do it? No reason to throw away easy money. If he just wants to join you for company or asks why you aren't giving him the attention he is used to, here's a novel idea... take that opportunity to tell him. If he makes a noticeable effort to get back in your good graces, give him a chance. If not, just let him be and move on. I'm for giving people a second chance. I have to realize that not everyone can live to the icredibly high standards I attain. But I don't give too much slack because I don't like to be made to look like the fool.
• flagooner

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  6 years ago

  ^ Notice, I don't make any comments about whois culpable here, because that doesn't really matter.
• mark94

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  6 years ago

  Sometimes, shit just happens. One of my faves was on stage and we made eye contact. As she started walking toward me ( about 30 feet away), another of my faves was suddenly in my lap. She had no idea the other dancer was approaching me. I didn’t say anything and got a dance from her. The next time I was in, I apologized to dancer #1. She said it was no big deal, but she clearly remembered the incident, so it registered with her.
• Call.Me.Ishmael

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  6 years ago

  No. On the spectrum of shitty treatment, what he did barely registers. Both you and the PL enabled that dancer's bad behavior: you ran away immediately and he bought dances.
• Cashman1234

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  6 years ago

  If this customer has been approached in a similarly aggressive manner previously, is it possible he’s not a strong, take control type? If so, he might be popular because he’s not in charge, and let’s the dancers walk all over him. The way the other dancer acted might be a base way of claiming her prey? Your reaction - or lack of action - says that he wasn’t worth speaking up. You knew of his habits and you knew of his $$$, and he wasn’t worth the effort. Sometimes a lack of action says just as much as an action. But either way, he doesn’t seem worth it.
• flagooner

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  6 years ago

  I'm pretty sure that if instead of walking away you had unzipped him and gave him a BBBJ at the table he would have been happy to send the other girl away. Just a suggested strategy for if this happens again.
• Bj99

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  6 years ago

  Maybe for men, there are only bullies, and victims, but it’s not the same for women. I don’t want men who don’t realize that, not even as customers. They can go enjoy the little thugs if that’s their thing (there’s plenty of “I’ll fuck a bitch up!” Types in the SC to choose from). Having that attitude eventually makes women hard, and completely unfemine. Plus, it causes ugly wrinkles. If he was MY regular, I wouldn’t have left, but he isn’t anyone’s regular. I think my main thing is that I thought maybe he did want me to leave, and I didn’t want to risk forcing him to spend time w me, and being where I wasn’t wanted. Or for him to send me away, when she had been so brazen. It was an embarrassing and awkward situation for me, and not worth the money. I really don’t know if I should have stayed put. Im the type who pulls over when someone is tailgating me, so that they can get their ticket. As far as she goes, her behavior won’t work well for her. She’s only been there for two months, and lots of dramatic girls don’t make it six.
• Bj99

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  6 years ago

  @ cash.. he’s not worth it tho. I don’t deal w drama for 80, and a guy who isn’t even a particularly loyal customer (no hate there, but I’ll go through more trouble if I’m sure they want me). @ flag. That’s what I’ll do. Put him on the back burner (which is what he pays for, and deserves, and maybe wants), not the BBBJ. ;)
• Salty.Nutz

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  6 years ago

  Flagooner.. pick a side, where are you from, France? @OP...the "something" he is giving the dancers is money $$. i tell hoes all sorts of crazy shit like, "I'm in love with you," "you should have my baby," but the the words they understand most is money. but, i completely understand that some hoes cant play that game because they are straight shooters.
• Bj99

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  6 years ago

  He only spends 80 max. Is that really enough for most girls to act so thirsty?! I have customers who routinely give me 200+ and girls don’t cut in like that.
• Bj99

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  6 years ago

  Also, I’m one of the most popular dancers. It’s uncommon for girls to assume that a customer wants them more, and put themselves in that station. I think he must tell them all thy are his favorite. He tells me that too, but I don’t take it to heart bc he isn’t that loyal.
• flagooner

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  6 years ago

  @Salty.Nutz Fuck you
• Dominic77

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  6 years ago

  @Bj99 said, “Maybe for men but it’s not the same for women. Having that attitude eventually makes women hard, and completely unfeminine.” 1. It doesn’t make sense to go with the Tuscl hive mind if everything inside you is saying this is not who you are or what you want out of it. 2. Keeping men like this around WILL make you jaded, closed off emotionally, and unfeminine. 3. There is something to be said for traditional gender roles. It’s emotionally healthy! :)
• rockie

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  6 years ago

  So neither the OP or the Customer stood up to the intruding dancer; the OP removed herself from the interaction and posts this question, but the Customer is not worth it and he has the real issue. I believe your problem with the customer is that he didn't commit to you! Why ask the question if he's so insignificant!! Nothing needs to be so final in any stripclub interaction. You could use "light hearted" humor the next time to define whether the next interaction will produce the same result. The gain for the OP is that this customer's money would probably go to you and the interaction with him isn't complicated by him being too demanding of you. Play the game anyway you wish, but "easy money" is not to be avoided by his failure to commit. Be a better sales person and don't get butt hurt by the insignificant!
• Salty.Nutz

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  6 years ago

  @flagooner...does someone have sand in their vagina. 80 is not enough to act thirsty and have girls wanting to get dances from this PL. i think you dont chase, and you probably dont have to. thats what he wants, he took a jab at your ego. he knows the pecking order and caught you off guard by getting dances by other dancer. he left an impression, as they say.
• Cashman1234

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  6 years ago

  Bj99 after reading the details - i agree that he’s not worth it. He’s not a strong guy - and he doesn’t spend enough money to warrant the effort. I think the other dancers actions show that she was almost desperate, and considering your description of the customer, he’s not a good spender.
• Darkblue999

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  6 years ago

  BJ, When he was with you he should tell other dancer whoever approaches him that he is with some other dancer and cannot take dances with other [view link] was his mistake.
• DeclineToState

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  6 years ago

  Per your post, the other dancer lied to you, what a hag, uncool. The customer should have had the balls to tell the other girl he was with you and would see her later. Your post then says he came up to you on stage, tipped you $20, said he didn't know what happened and that he didn't have an appointment with that girl. That was his apology even though he didn't actually apologize. Make whatever choice makes you happiest / least annoyed / least stressed. He's not a big enough spender for you to alter however the hell you feel like treating him moving forward.
• Papi_Chulo

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  6 years ago

  Thinking about-it some-more, he still got dances w/ her - he could have talked to her after you left and told her he was planning to get dances w/ you - either he actually wanted to get dances w/ the other girl, or he didn't know how to deal w/ an aggressive dancer. There may be more to the story for the other dancer to just think she can get a custy by actually lying to his face - the strip-club world too-often revolves around innuendos and thus misunderstandings often happen; as well as outright unethical strip-club behavior - it's all part of the strip-club ball of wax and why it's often best to just be direct while doing it politely.. Perhaps the other dancer thought he wanted to be w/ her and was sorta saving him from having to get dances w/ you; or she's just a certified-cunt. I can now better understand why you would have excused yourself seeing that you got hit w/ a situation where you thought the guy and the dancer had a prearranged-meeting - in the end as Subraman says "be polite but don't be a little-bitch" - I think in this situation you were being "too-nice" and too-accommodating and it kinda bit you in the ass which can often happen in SCs to both custies and dancers - but again, you were trying to do the right-thing based on the info you had and hard to know when someone is being deceitful - as I posted b/f, next time just sit there and let him choose since he approached you anyway.
• Papi_Chulo

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  6 years ago

  Shit happens in SCs; don't sweat-it too-much - if he's a regular and shit continues to happen that annoys you, let him know what your expectations are w/ how he deals w/ you
• wallanon

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  6 years ago

  I looked at the posts yesterday, and some of them today. It doesn't really seem like the customer is the issue. Someone got disrespected, felt disrespected, and a small time customer made it worse by rewarding bad behavior. The good news is (so far) nobody got punched in the face. Bj99 seems cool, so whatever I've typed up isn't personal. What seems personal is the little seed of drama that's growing by dwelling on an embarrassing moment. If it's small potatoes, let it be small stuff and don't sweat it. Cut the customer? Why? His only issue was failing to be anything other than PL pup chasing a squirrel.
• PaulDrake

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  6 years ago

  @Bj99 - I am guessing you are done with this thread. But if you happen to respond again I would be curious what you mean by he is an easy customer. I am guessing he is nice, doesn't expect lengthy conversation, and doesn't push physical boundaries?
• Bj99

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  6 years ago

  I’m still thinking ab it, and I appreciate everyone’s thoughts. I go back and forth as I see good points from different perspectives. I do feel like she was a total bitch, and I definitly feel disrespected, and a little resentful towards him for rewarding it. I don’t ask for a lot of advice, but I felt like I needed some insight. I knew my emotions were clouding my objectivity on this one. @ PaulDrake, yes. All of those, plus he’s nice looking and slim (slim guys are physically easier to dance on).
• theDirkDiggler

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  6 years ago

  The only thing that seems noticeably strange about the guy is that he seems to have girls frequently interrupt him while he's sitting with you in particular. So it's happened before, but it just really bothered you now? Was it a different girl each time? That is just weird. He may be telling multiple girls to see him later or maybe he just has that door mat quality about him combined with your aversion to conflict at all cost, where any other girl (girl he has danced with before, unless he accepts dances from every girl that approaches him) can swoop in and take him away.
• Bj99

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  6 years ago

  Well, the other times, the girls just “came over to say, hi”, but it rarely happens when I’m with a customers. Also, girls talk ab him, to me, as though they really think he is their regular. I’ve known him since I started, but a lot of girls only work there for a few months, and several have come and gone. I’m the only established girl who he regularly gets dances from.
• Papi_Chulo

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  6 years ago

  Well - seems he's popular with the ladies - plus you can't expect much from us PLs in a room full of half-naked women
• chessmaster

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  6 years ago

  So is your problem that she lied and stole your potential revenue or that she interrupted at all? I can see how that would be an awkward encounter if he really only wanted her and you were unwanted at the time. It does sound like you just left prematurely though. I dont see why her presence automatically means one of you had to leave. Hard to say though since i wasnt there and dont know if she pushed you away and he didnt do anything and thats your problem? Also you keep saying he "rewarded" her by getting dances. If he got dances from her anyway its because he wanted to. The circumstances surrounding her approach are irrelevant. Theres blame all around here. But i think mostly your issue should be with the other dancer. Cut him off or dont. I dont think it matters since you admit hes not your regular.
• ppwh

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  6 years ago

  Sure, cut him. It sounds like the biggest issue is that his words and actions aren't congruent. I think the technical term might be gaslighting which is recognized as a form of psychological torture. Of course, around here, we usually just call it SS for short.
• orionsmith

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  6 years ago

  If that was me, a $20 tip would be like saying I really like you unless he tips everyone like that. However if he's letting one desperate dancer tie up a lot of his time, then he doesn't want confrontation in the club and doesn't want to be left alone if there are announced two for ones. I let one more desparate dancer tie up a good bit of time with me because I enjoyed her dances even though she wasn't the hottest girl. After I noticed a problem with hot girls not approaching me because of her I cut back her time with me. For me that was a satisfactory compromise because I wanted at least one set of two for ones from some of the other hot dancers. I really saw it as a waste though if a hot dancer I liked didn't ask nor do any dances on an announced two for ones or asked the wrong person who said no. One hot dancer was a bit of a spinner but looked incredible to me. I saw some guys say no to her. If the dancers don't get a yes within a minute or so, they go back in the dressing room during the announced two for ones sometimes. One hot Asian girl cut me off when she noticed I was spending less and less in the club. It didn't bother me much at the time because I didn't want to spend much. She was always trying to up sell to the VIP room so she gave up.
• Bj99

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  6 years ago

  Okay, so after sleeping on it, and now that I’m not so mad, I’ve decided what to do. Next time he comes in, I’ll sit w him and address it. I’ll appologize for bailing on him and for any drama he felt. I’ll explain that I just felt really embarrassed bc I thought I was interrupting an appointment, since she lied. I’ll give him a free dance to make it up. I’ll also explain that there are no hard feelings, but that I don’t like to be in those situations, and he can just flag me down, if he wants me in the future. I’ve been through many other girls w him, and the chances are this one won’t be around long either. It’s crazy how much drama a new stripper can cause, when if you just wait, she’ll be gone soon anyways.
• Papi_Chulo

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  6 years ago

  He gets a free dance - what do we get? [view link]
• Bj99

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  6 years ago

  ^ I’ll have to work on that. ;) Thank you for the thoughts and advice.
• Bj99

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  6 years ago

  Since it’s Valentine’s Day, here’s the full sized of my avi pics and few more from my soapy fun day. [view link]
• twentyfive

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  6 years ago

  ^^^id rather have the free dance ;)))
• Bj99

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  6 years ago

  Well.. it’s not really free. He tipped me 20, so I always give a guy a free dance if he tip me 20 on stage. Since I’m going to not completely cut him, it’s only fair.
• Cashman1234

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  6 years ago

  Thanks for those great photos! You have great curves - as your soapy round booty - and your big soapy tits - provide eye-popping views! Your toned abs accentuate your assets too. On a separate topic - I don’t think that customer deserves a free dance. I won’t argue with your choice, as I respect your judgement. It helps to let your head clear - before making a decision - and I’m glad you did that.
• twentyfive

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  6 years ago

  I tip in Benji’s how’s that work ;D
• Papi_Chulo

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  6 years ago

  I wanna be your soap guy
• Bj99

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  6 years ago

  Meh, it’s best in life to keep things even. If you are going to forgive someone, you have to forgive them. Doesn’t mean I’m not going to make some adjustments so that it doesn’t happen again, and if it does, I won’t have to wonder how to handle it.
• Bj99

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  6 years ago

  Plus, it shows that my behavior was bc I was uncomfortable, and bc she was disrespectful to us, and not bc I’m a brat (which I have to watch out for). It’s more a show of my willingness to keep putting his experince first, than a real apology.
• Cashman1234

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  6 years ago

  Bj99 your decision is both mature and intelligent - and it’s smart business too. He will see what he missed (in not getting a dance from you) and that should get him too.
• Papi_Chulo

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  6 years ago

  You should send him some of the pics you posted
• Bj99

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  6 years ago

  He doesn’t even get girls’ numbers. I think one reason he still likes me is that I keep it casual, as though we’ve just met. Most guys aren’t like that.
• Cashman1234

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  6 years ago

  Some pl’s are like that. Nothing wrong there. I don’t have a fave - and the dancers I know - I always remain casual with them. It’s business - and it’s important to not let it feel like more.
• flagooner

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  6 years ago

  I enlarged all of BJ's pictures to life size. Printed, cropped and matched them up to create 1 full size pic to tape on the back of my bathroom door for tossing off material. WTF, she has 3 boobs like the alien in Total Recall.
• Bj99

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  6 years ago

  I think that’s an elbow. I’m not ab to pay 1/3 more for an extra boobie.
• larryfisherman

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  6 years ago

  Spectacular pics!!
• Cashman1234

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  6 years ago

  3 boobs might be the perfect number - 2 hands + 1 mouth = a very happily occupied customer - lol!
• SirLapdancealot

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  6 years ago

  3 boobs makes me want to have 2 dicks... double barrel titty fuck...mmm...
• Bj99

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  6 years ago

  Lol that gave me an image.
• Cashman1234

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  6 years ago

  Lol! If that’s not a definition in urban dictionary - it should be! Double barrel titty fuck!
• georgmicrodong

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  6 years ago

  @Bj99: Thanks for the pics. I sent the link to my ATF. She said “yummy”. As for your resolution, kudos for not being a jerk *and* for not going too easy on him.
• Bj99

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  6 years ago

  ^ thank you. :)
• orionsmith

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  6 years ago

  Thanks for sharing the pics BJ. You're looking very nice.
• SirLapdancealot

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  6 years ago

  @Bj99 you are a fair stripper and you 'do it right' by your customers. You play the long game with them. Other strippers reading should observe and learn. Also IMHO that first pic shows you have good abs.
• Bj99

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  6 years ago

  Thank you SLD, I feel a little guilty bc my abs are genetic. I still appreciate it tho. ;)